The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, June 07, 1979, Page Page 14, Image 14
A h^t
JTL UVL
Satire
By Brian Duncan
Editorial Pag# Editor
With Skylab's slow but
inAirif oKIn ^
iii^vnauic ucsccui llllU nit;
earth's atmosphere, baffled
NSAS scientists wait in
limbo for huge pieces of the
satellite debris to plummet
into mstory. rne
GAMECOCK senior
editorial staff felt its
readers would be interested
to know how hypothetical
(though strangely familiar)
USC officials might respond
t n tho nimcf inn UfU A T Tl?
KW ktiv vjuvoLiuil, IT 11 rv A 11'
SKYLAB CRASHES AT
use?
?Pritchard Warts,
associate vice president of
Residue Life Services: "We
cimnli; lirrrvii M/\f V> r
OlllipiJ VYUU1U llUl liavc 1UU111
to house it on campus. As
you know, there is a limited
amount of space, even
during the summer.
Besides, it isn't included on
our list of those who've oaid
the required $100 nonrefundable
fee. Now if we
could convert it into an
On
letters
The GAMECOCK welcomes
letters from its readers. Letters
snouid be a maximum of 300 words
and must be signed with the
writer's correct name, telephone,
mailing address, class standing
; and major. Pseudonyms are
unacceptable, but the writer's
name may be withheld by request
if circumstances warrant. We
reserve the right to edit letters for
AHrlrncc lotforc (a- fimmip
. . iv.v.1 IVUVI o ivy . vuilipuo
opinion. The GAMECOCK. Drawer
A. USC. Columbia, S.C. 29208.
: flamecock
; rounOfM' 1 908
, Tom Travis Editor in Chief
Leigh Grogan Copy Oesk Chie*
| Ron Stokes . . News Editor
Brett Friedlander Sports Editor
David Baker Entertainment Editor |
Stephen McConrtack . Graphics Editor
Brian Duncan Editorial Page Eiiitr.i
Janice Wood Graduate Assistant
Jill Griffin Advertising Manager
Fran George Production Manager
Jon Clemmensen General Manager
I c;..,, M, k.-. R.,c,r.<icc
Md.K Ethrukio Jr. Adviser
Newsroom 77 7-/181
Advertising '7? 4?49
Business (Jffire 111 t888
Sole reproduction riqhts granted to the
Associated f'l'ss All other material contained
herein mnv not he reprinted without the
permission ol the editor
Opinions expressed in the Gamecock are
those, if signed, of tfie writer and, if unsigned,
of the senior editorial staff
ofSkylah
efficiency apartment. . .
?Penny Taker, dictator
of parking and motor
vehicle restrictions:
"Actually, planning for
such an event has been
underway for some time
now. We ve negotiated with
NASA about the possibility
of selling them commuter
parking decals, but we
made it perfectly clear that
such an arrangement would
A, ? i. A 1 _
not guarantee inem a
space, only a hunting
license (ha ha)."
?Dim Carlight, football
coach?: 'This is THE year
for Carolina football. I
mean, we've got ex
penencea oanpiayers, tne
best facilities, great fans.
We ? (yea yea coach, but
what about Skylab? You
know, the 'ol dive play?)
Yes of course. Now where
was I? Say, did you know
before I came to Carolina
my record was..."
?Bricks Crunibleton,
vice president of
alterations: "A big chunk of
the^hing, one that could be
worked with, might very
well De tne means to end our
Green(e) Street problem.
I've proposed closing
Green(e) Street and the
construction of a Russell
House Mall for a long time.
Aft/All^
i I-Wm
T r
trash
If only the junk would eras!
right beside the ob
A T 1 4 ? ? * 1
servatory. just ininK 01 it. J
two ton tangled piece o
space rejection would giv<
us the beginnings for ;
debris mall, debris gar
dens, debris monuments
debris, debris, debris . . . 1
sort of look at the future, a
it were."
?Fed McGranuals, US<
representative of AWFU1
food services: "Oh, I thinl
: t 1 j 1 A ? 1 T
n wuuiu ue jusi granu. 1 cai
see it now, Sky lab specials
Skylab leftovers. Of coursi
we could be more practica
and mold one-hundrei
pound trays from it. Tha
ought to stop the littl
buggers from being stolen.'
?Slim Boldertan, US(
Precedent: "We woul<
welcome the crash o
Skylab here at USC. I
would be yet another smasl
success in our quest fo
national and internationa
recognition. Dignatarie
would swarm like flies
Why, just the other day
Anwar was saying.
As I packed my pen am
pad away, contemplatinj
the things I heard,
couldn't help but think ther
IS a place for everything.
Someone should tel
Sky lab!
ii
use acj
; move to f
if
r Increased enrollment projec
a nons ana me rising scores or
applicants present USC as an institution
that is academically "on
? the move."
S
Although a recent national
survey determined higher
. J . J 1 1 11 A
7 eaucanonai enrollment is
declining, projected enrollment for
k USC this fall is up 4.5 percent. This
n may be attributed to various
factors, the most important being
'' the wide range of truly quality
e instruction offered at USC.
1
r]
' The School of Business Ad1
ministration is by far one of the
6 best in the country, and the
Engineering department has
2 gained national recognition. The
^ English program is continually
r improving, and a revised gram*
mar test, to be used this fall,
t should provide a better evaluation
h of freshman writing skills and
p improve the oHentation to college
i level composition.
s
The USC School of Journalism
has produced numerous leaders in
' the media field. This, combined
with a highly respected faculty,
d places the school among the top ten
g in the country.
I
e
The department of Government
1 and International Studies and the
History department both provide
excellent curriculums and honored
faculty. And, the list goes on.
w I kP ~
liLJw |4V L
'"Vn
.>
idemics
orefront
The S C. Honors College has
made great strides toward raising
the level of higher education in
South Carolina. Scholastic Aptitude
Tests (SAT) scores reflect
the rising quality of USC applicants.
More than 300 students
with projected scores of 1200 and
higher are expected to attend USC
this fall. This is an increase of over
200 percent since 1976.
Freshman admissions has actively
recruited students who
1 -J - A. 1 - I
wuuiu omerwise nave pursued
their college education at schools
such as Princeton, Yale, and other
academically outstanding institutions.
New scholarship
programs are also attracting
many well-qualified applicants.
Campus visits by foreign and
domestic dignitaries have ureatlv
enhanced USC's reputation.
Events such as the recent visit of
UN Secretary General Kurt
Waldheim help make the
university, as well as the state,
highly visible in world affairs.
USC is rapidly becoming a
leader in academics, and thp
educational opportunities have
vastly improved from those of just
a few years ago.
The Gamecock is encouraged by
the recent trend toward
establishing academic excellence
at what was once jokingly referred
to as a "party school."
N\
O ....
kODO/7lAL?(
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