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Mfe * - Kg jpfflj WHY NOT THIS ONE? automatical! Much arguing and consternation Clemson stud< is going on concerning the Duties am proposed Student Government President: TY constitution here at USC. Never able to go to the type to mind my own business, time he wants I would like to propose my own Limitation! constitution, which will be sub- Powers: The mitted to wherever you submit use nuclear w such things, along with a petition Frisbeegame, signed mostly by dead people and The Preside animais. University f Preamble: We, the students of worth. USC, in order to conduct student At no time i affairs in a way heretofore allowed t unknown on the face of this planet, "chickenhead to harass our parents and the Duties and Administration as much as nossible. and to havp as mnrh fun as we can while doing it, do establish this hodgepodge of legal terminology and vaudeville. Name: The name of this organization has been changed to protect the innocent. Jurisdiction: All of this stuff will be applied to USC students whom we happen to dislike. Franchise: All students who are stupid enough to believe that it will do any good are entitled to vote in elections, ut course, this IREHfflDl a ORlPi 11 j&li illl# PRHOR memo in lit i ^ rjaBgft Filmed ! LIVE IN ONVdKI | mmiiwai This Ptctura Contains 1 Hwah And Vary \Aitgtr Language i, And May Ba Considarad Shocking And Oflanahta. Mo ExpttcM Sax ! ! Or VManca la Shown. ;; Now Playing ' The GAMECOCK Is the student newspaper at the University of South Carolina and is published three times a week on Monday, Wednesday and Friday during the fall and spring semesters and once weekly during the fall and spring semesters and once weakly on Thursdays during both summer sessions with the exception of university holidays and examination periods. Opinions expressed in the GAMECOCK are those of the editors and not those of th* University of South Carolina. The University of South Csrollns Is an equal opportunity Institution. The Board of Student Publications snd Communications Is the publisher of the Gamecock. The Student Media Office is t the parent organization of the Gamecock. Change of address forms, subscription ] requests and othar correspondence should be sent to tha GAMECOCK, Box i B5131 RiiimII Hmim llr>lu?r*Uij c r | cVlumW?;s.C."?20?' Subscfipttonr.j,, I I ara S5 per MfflMMr and S2 for tna I tumimr ?ton?. | Third claaa po?tag? paid at Columbia, anheusei a President: The Vice-Presider Shall be glad he's not th President's homosexual lover. The Vic6-President shall suppl ample intoxicating refreshments appropriate prophylactics, an clown suits for meetings of th Student Senate. The Vice-President shall be th one to get coffee and donuts for th BpBftMjHpl|j^BBa SG offices each morning. The Vice-President sha y includes all disavow any knowledge of th ?nts. assassination of the President. 1 Powers of the Composition of tbe Studer le President shall be Senate: The Student Senate sha the men's room any be composed of the members of th to. student body who: i of Presidential a) can buy enough votes; President shall not b) are relatives of the President c eaponry to break up the University; s on the Horseshoe. c) can prove sexual prowess abov snt shall not take the and beyond the call of lust ; or or everything it's d) can say "rubber baby bugg bumpers" three times fast. bvill the President be Duties and Powers of the Studer o call anyone Senate: The Student Senate shall: a) be able to tell really good jokes Powers of the Vice- b) know no more about legislativ Thous Dollars irasnur Check around your < may be able to collect an thousand dollars if you Pi all over the country were participating in Pitch In! \ This year, Budweiser again reward participate approved campus organiz In! Week. Five groups \ educational awards, five $500, and five third plact hor entry rules and tl simply send in the attach? i 1979 National Coll ; April 2-6. Pitch In! 1 jj NAME I COLLEGE ! ADDRESS H I CITY STA" ORGANIZATION ON CAMPUS . k?.:i 1^. /^-il ?? r?-? I . -??*. . ? g iviau to: ^onege riicn in: weeK uesK, c j 1330 Avenue of the Americas, | Competition void where prohibited by R t BUSCH. INC ST LOUIS it procedure than how to adjourn; e c) destroy any evidence of rational thought; and y d) visit S.C. recreation areas >, frequently to keep them safe for d democracy. P 1 amWoliAtic nf #Iia nf Hip iv jumiia%c??iviikj va ?nv a. vvf v> a vi ??v Student Senate: The Student e Senate shall not: e a) get in the way of custodial personnel cleaning the SG offices; 11 b) emulate Strom Thurmond, the ie Shah of Iran, or Mork from Ork; c) refer to each other as "your it Holiness"; or 11 d) pass any law allowing gunplay e in the library. Power of the University >f Judiciary: The University Judiciary, consisting of a Supreme e Court and several Not-so-Supreme Courts, will do its level best to keep y a straight face. The Supreme Court will review it all cases brought against students. All other luggage will be reviewed ; in a lower court. e The Supreme Court will have /VI dl M9 VI Found I i Carnm campus community. You, i educational award of up tch In! Groups from camp ! awarded $8,750 last ye; Nee k. a r->/^ 1: _ k i _^ 1 tii iu mdvj nauiu iNetwort ig colleges, universities :ationswho participate in I will win $1,000 in first f second place groups wil ? groups will win $250. ne Pitch In! Week prograr ?d coupon. iM ? M ? wa ? iaMM ? ? ?* mm ? ? ? ege Pitch In! Week Q And Win Cash. ?2238 re zip msi MHI. lit to ABC Radio Network New York, NY 10019 law appellate jurisdiction, whatever that is. The Chief Justice of the Supreme Court will bang his gavel and shout "Order! Order!" a lot. Anyone who says, "I'll have a bacon, lettuce and tomato on rye" will be taken out and shot. Elections: Elections will be held at 3 a.m. on the second rainy Sunday night in August. Poll workers will become suspicious when the same person votes for the 17th time. Candidates for SG President wearing costumes must identify themselves to Monty Hall before selecting Door Number Two. Amendments: Amendments to this constitution may be made by: a) a 31/47 vote of all the goodlooking girls on campus who call me before midnight tonight; b) an act of God; c) a terrorist attack on the Golden Spur; or d) anyone crazier than I am (I think I'm safe here). n IS. too, ' to a >uses ar by < will and Pitch slace I win n kit, it i i i i Hi I ! ' i I I I