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I Left Hand Satir Lehn THE MOST OF '78 pa ot] I can make lists with the best of hit them. Give me a bunch of meaningless, otherwise unconnected items, and I'll number them, comment on them, and generally make them sound silly. M My only advantage in the list- be making department is that I am in ca touch with a great many works of that don't make the rounds of your pr local retail outlets. I buy all my th books from strange old men on G< street corners, all my records from Ri a man in Cleveland named Kronad th the Omnipotent, and see all my movies in a cellar in the southern W Armed Forces Scholarships. P. Yes, I am interested in Armed F I understand there is no obliga > ,, j Army Physics | Navy Psycho Air Force Name ISSSffi?:! Address |^jl|||l| City 1 Enrolled at i - To graduate in H9H|^9H (Month. Yea SffiSBS* "Veterinary and Podiatry not av / -;| Podiatry and Psychology not i e by ian Stiles irt of Nepal. So forget all those tier lists ... THESE are the real ts of '78: BOOKS I. The New Jersey Cattle anagement Handbook: Besides ling a "must" for all New Jersey ,ttle managers, the subtle nuance metaphor hinging on the exession of human frailty makes ??? tl IJ1- ? A. T T O 10 VIIC U1 U1C WUI1U ? glCUl U. O. >vernment Publication classics, imor has it that Brando is doing e movie version! 2. How to Get Everything In the hole Wide World: The ultimate El I lit 1 jtsjsj (tlctc] ifq O. Box 1776, Valley Forge. PA 19461 orces Health Professions Scholarship odd tion. an Veterinary* logy (PhD)* Podiatry* (please print) Pho State (School) Degree ir) ailable in Navy Program; available in Army Program self-help book, in which Dr. Rico "Fingers" Martinez reveals his living strategy of "Winning Through Nuclear Weaponry." Tributes to Dr. Martinez's method are given by such celebrities as Herbert ShiUwaffer, chief tastetester at Alpo Dog Foods, Inc., and Millie "Twenty Bucks" Darling, exposer of the Ronald McDonald homosexuality scandal. 3. He Gave Great Dialogue: My Love Affair with Plato: This, the latest of the sexual-admission books, exposes the torrid truth about the swinging Grecian egghead! Professional talk-show guest Bubbles McMammary tells how she and Plato would sneak off during the drama festivals into the Athenian hills and "philosophize like crazy!" Follow-up to McMammary's last book, I Made Love to Elvis Presley's Ghost! MOVIES 1. Bad Things About the Fifties: A nostalgic look at those fun-loving days of game-show scandals, the Korean War, and racial violence. Ron Howard stars as Richard Nixon; Penny Marshall cameos as Checkers the Dog. 2. Showdown at Mormon Pass: Donny and Marie stand out in this gritty Western. Donny plays the tobacco-chewing town sheriff, Marie plays the operator of the town brothel. Donny fights off a series of vicious cartoon characters, murdering several songs in tVi p nrn/<aoo TVin kmJ M?V |/A WVOO> A 111/ A tOl Ul U1C Osmond family cameos as the entire population of the state of Nevada. 3. Lassie Gets Spayed: The lovable collie gives birth to 18 Daschunds and is immediately rushed to the vet for corrective HBHBWM ?X?T?l?lv/?J LW i ZCN019 Iljffi||j ortunities Optometry 5 Sex DM F [ - lifti f | ne I , measures. After the operation, is I Lassie refuses to save any more 2 lost campers or trapped children, Lai spending all her time watching art television soap operas and mauling Sor any tow-headed boys who happen in i to come into her sight. pla the RECORDS La 3 1. Violence and Death are Fun: the Newest New Wave release by that Sw up-and-coming young group, the Dig Disgusting Slimes. Best cuts in- Kil elude "Rape is a One-Way Street," Dr "Saturday Night Leather," and "L We SALE ra tU V.UKUUKU Y b Wills SKI BIB OVEI wSEL MAT< Mpg Reg. *39" D?WN & HC W>LDERNES EfwiLDiRI U STATIC ! i J OUTDOOR GE m m 0%. ^ ? I IUO LAD next door to Moe L< Accent On HOUR S Just what you've be Cannady i 1231 Hampt Columbia, S Between Sumtc ^or the Way you Lunge at Me." . The Joy of Drinking Sterno: ;est release from classic jazz 1st Joe "No Fingers" Jodan. igs tell of his rise from sleeping railroad cars to head keyboard yer for Shaun Cassidy. Includes classic song about Blackand, .."Blackand Blues." . Cornfields and Cow Turds: By i country-rock group Rotting amp. Includes "Tobacco Barn sco," "Breaking Out of Jail and ling Deputies," ana "My Mama ives a Stock Car and My Daddy sars a Sheet." HIRTS *1A00 |. ?2200 ralls & :hing jackets *32uw ea. >LLOFIL JACKETS to 50% ?W S HIKING BOOT *59" 549OO km! IN I f^TRECT I >vys Downtown I ? ? I ^egiasses ppj^ Pn Innlf inn l/\>< I ? .. iwwimm^ i i : Opticians on Street .C. 29209 ?r & Main St.