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J9J0?. ????i Competition chea Nobel Prize awai By ERIC RICHARDSON Gamecock Columnist The Nobel Prize, one of the most cherished s have bestowed upon himself is becoming mo sport than anything else. According to the "this prize should be awarded to those who greatest benefit on mankind in the field of \ physiology or medicine, literature, and pea< If one will look at the competitive, almost 0 prizes have been turned into one would get th< M?? 1 1 inwuci were anve ne would stop the prize alt taking individual looks at the award winners,1 concerned with where they come from newspaper's headline read, "U.S. sweeps th This is most ill-mannered and in a sense c more than the scientists who took the prize. It of a country that should matter, but that indn his certain field of work, be it science or litera We are not in 'he Olympic games trying to iyioHqIc \irn *>or? twin K??? 1^""" 1 - ...vuuitj ttv. v?n "in, uui uicac awarus are ic mankind, be one from Russia or the United Sti that we do not let the evil inside man destroy We do not want to have an Olympics made of theoretically it is possible that one scientist c as did the Russian fencer during the last Olynn certainlv nut a scar on the nri7p for vpnrc ?/ One is not saying that competition is not go but in an institution such as the Nobel Prize, t( , honor in itself. If we concentrate more u movement towards the betterment of man ani he is from, we will see a greater homogeniet) and scientists of the world. By LLOYD WOODS Opinion Page Editor ICG Once upon c as we left the kingdom weeks ago, if you will rem was on the verge of telling t what he was going to do attempt to rob the Roy? people's monev to rpmod jd Doody is still on the verg< |Pk "1^ | But things have not be IB II Bi There have been some believable occurances ir Princess Congress. C< documented behavior of < ^ their powers to make the li' ?% T| I unlivable, while ensuring H JL mM) M ? the Princes and Princesse serve the needs of the peo still some rebels in the C V leader of the Congress, Prii w- jr | had other plans for the pe M Not content being the nur ^V^_>Jl kingdom, Prince Moe did hi like he was number one. Moe, King Thad Pvrite wa king, so it was easy for i Lioydwoods attempts to gain control o opinion p?oe Editor Like King Thad, Prince R V a trusty page, only his na s?iiy Wilton Page, nor was he really i sports Editor |, thought bigger than King , 1 lackey straight from the I Asst. Sports Editor |{' Congress. Prince Chester was one of the younges Bill Fitipatrick f!on0rps*: Prin^o Mao t Ad Manaoer ' \ he easiest t o control. He w; his life. uld b? limited tVfc tingle . the writer't true nam*. ?VI, n.v nl)1KI,,L, . lame will be withheld it ONE DAY PRINCE I ' wr,,l^/ !nc!u^* Chester to his chambers for reached. Pleat* Include . tart, not for content, but Chester, he said, !h< Gamecock, Drawer A, ^OWll (he tubes. Only I . . ^ salvation. King Thad's n lost us what little trust we 1 wa nriki Our powers are wanine a i something before it is too 1 look now, I'll never get to , _g "Surely, you know Princ CIS Chester, "that I will do at You have only to ask." "We've got to do som< people that we are still si Moe. "Somehow we have that if they do not do as we iwards that one can wjj| j)e jn more doubt thai re of a competitive "We could kill the men an late Alfred Nobel, offered Prince Chester, have conferred the "Don't be absurd," ans )hysics, chemistry, ?Wen then," Prince Chi 'e "how about killing the worn lympic sport, these -Don't even think it Ch e feeling that if Mr. Moe. "It's against my bette nOolhop fnel/vorl . i.oicau ui are only one I can trusl we seem to be more the only one who will trust Last year one (he arrangements in your h ie scientific prize." and murders. Everything e redits this country : is not the ideology so PRINCE CHESTER /idual's progress in kingdom that the "Power" *ure- first tried to blackmail th ^0ld for Ye 0,de Speakers of R n muse wno Deuer committee's chairperson tl ites. It is important did not bring in more gay sj that which is good. the Prince and Princess Co this prize, because committee's members :ould start cheating ??Go to Hell," said the ipics and this would reasoned that if she had to >me. would put it to good use whi od. Sometimes it is, > be nominated is an so prinCK CHESTER \ pon the awardee's t0 ask them to cut out the d not which country mjttee members. r among the writers "Go to Hell," said the in the Prince When asl that Prince mail the co # nothing ab< i rfUfD Hates the 1 v i^f?V and that v benefit of tl of Usurpia several .. this has t ember, Pope Doody nothing . . he unruly Usurpians about King Thad's "BUT PI il Treasury of the pulling hin el his castle. Pope Moe's offic i of something. nose. "I tli en dull in Usurpia. you." strange and un- "You litl 1 the Prince and "Don't you antrary to their an entire g ioing everything in You haven ves of the Usurpians start small their own comfort, then two, tl s recently began to one, but ju pie. But there were . might be tl longress led by the twerp, if nee Moe Dippy, who than me." iople. "I won't I nber two man in the Prince Che is best to at least act blood. Luckily for Prince is not a very strong A WEEK the prince to make the Royal f the kingdom. blame for a !oe even got himself thought to 1 me was not Trusty press for P t riacro Prinoo " |#U(,V. > > 1IIW IfiV/U UVCI . Thad. He got his Rememb ^ince and Princess Royal Pres of Hates the Third Royal Plar t members of the went to the hought he would be and Irres as never so wrong in responsible Plank "Fellow Hoe called Prince don't have a strategy meeting. been gettinj e kingdom is tfnina nlnn whinh o ? ? I"? " . er, we, can be its The Coui smodelling attempt though not lad from the people. Prince Che nd we've got to do way to save ate. The way things the best in be king." e Moe," said Prince SO PRIIV lything to help you. "Italian St; me uoyai I ithing to show the "Slimarc [rong," said Prince agreement to show the people to the Plan bid, their existence that the ne i our own." give the Ro d rape the women," also provid a weekly c wered Prince Moe. now beset ?ster again offered, kingdom of en and ..you'll neve DCfot* '' pai/4 1 A * * vuivi, o CI ill r 1 Ilit'C VJU l U II r judgment, but you to restrain i t, or for that matter floor with ] me, so I will leave lands. Nix the rapes SIJMAIi Ise is fine with me." prince had Moe. tried to show the "Listen P was on his side. He lackey. I d< e Royal Committee "I know hetoric. He told the Chester of lat if the committee fine " >eakers he would get "Cut l he ngress to cut out all you're behi ' tongues. the brains t s chairperson, who off your la lose her tongue she before the le she still had time. "BUT PI vent to the Congress pulling hin tongues of the com- Moe'soffie< his mouth, lelligent majority of Ill IL imm?w????a??awa???w???^ and Princess Congress. ced by the Royal Press if he knew ! Chester was going to try to blackmmittee, Prince Moe said. "I know >ut the actions of Prince Chester of *hird. I only know he is a fine person whatever he does he does for the le entire kingdom ... beep ... beep . >een a recording ... beep ... I know 99 tINCE MOE," said Prince Chester nself up from the floor of Prince :e while trying to stop a bleeding lought you'd be happy. I did it for tie idiot!" screamed Prince Moe. know better than to try to blackmail roup of people. That takes practice, 't got the experience. You've got to I. First you blackmail one person, len three, etcetera. I got out of this ist harely. If you blow it again, it he end for all of us. Just member, 50, you go, and you'll be a lot harder fail you again, Prince Moe," replied ister as he fainted from the loss of LATER Prince Chester cot out of Infirmary. "The Royal Press is to til the problems in the kingdom," he limself. "If I can gain control of the rince Moe all of our troubles will be ering that a former editor of the s was applying for a position on the lk of Ruminations, Prince Chester Royal Council for Abusive Powers iponsibility. The Council was i for approving appointments to the Princes and Princesses, I know I to tell you about the bad PR we've tJ in ihn Pmrol D??/\or. 117^.11 * * --1 ? & .? ?..v- nv/jai i i ess. ncii, 1 ve gui a will change all of that." icil listened to the plan and even < all of them agreed to it at first, ster convinced them it was the only (the kingdom. Ashe put it, it was "in terest of national defense." ICE CHESTER went to see Ricky allion" Slimarchi, former Editor of Press. hi," he said, "You either sign an swearing that if you are appointed k of Ruminations you will demand xt editor of the Royal Press must yal Leaders favorable coverage and < e the Prince and Princess Congress oiumn in that piece of parchment by radicals who would destroy the Usurpia if given half the chance, or r get on the Plank." ell," said Slimarchi, who managed ihe impulse to wipe a smudge off the Prince Chester's face. ('Ill, not being the dummy the expected, went straight to Prince vloe," said Slimarchi, "call off your ( >n't appreciate being blackmailed." nothing about the actions of Prince Mates the Third. I only know he is a crap, Moe," said Slimarchi. "I know ind all of this. Chester doesn't have o try something this stupid. Just call ckey or I'll make a formal charge Prin/*? ^ " mvc cmiu rii in; CSS congress." *INCE MOE," said Prince Chester tiself up from the floor of Prince >. , e while trying to put his teeth back >n "I thought you'd be happy. I did it Soc SATIRE, page 19 Jwr