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Mrs. Jones Di Mary BY HARRY HOPE DEAR DIARY, Well, Tom and I have just gotten back from a wonderful vacation all over the world -- and I must say that no place in the civilized world surpassed Ocean Drive Beach. Tom figured it would be wonderful to have a house party in that old green house behind the Pad where we spent Easter a couple of years ago. So we called up and invited Mike Grier and Bob and Leslie Alexander and Chuckles Witten and Hal Brunton and Eston Marchant and a few others. Just a nice quiet weekend -- or so we thought. The first ihing that happened was that Chuckles decided it would be nice to go out in his rowboat. Well, Chuckles got about two hundred feet from shore and proceeded to sink. Hal just sat on the beach with his teeth in his mouth and Bob running back and forth down the beach yelling "Save him! Save himl" (He's a retired Methodist minister, you know.) Mike Grier came out in his hacked-off blue jeans and ripped off his glasses and yelled, "Don't panic. I'm going to call in a consulting lifeguard. I may have flunked Boy Scout lifesaving, but I k now what to do." There was no one around to save Chuckles when suddenly we all saw this guy walking over the water. He picked Chuckles out of the water and carried him over to the shore. And were we shocked! It was Paul Dietzel. He was wearing sackcloth and ashes and carrying a Bible. He put Witten down on the beach and said something to the effect of "Woe be unto you, sinner," and walked off to find his football team and save them. (Paul said just the other day that the Antichrist appeared on the practice field and he had to exorcise him. I swear , that dude has flipped out since that 4-7 season last year.) STUD EN~ A t Pizza BUY ONE Dif SPAGHE~ Served with g - Serving * 3P.M. Tili Located at the intersd across from 111 Finds Anyway, we thought things would be pretty quiet after that, but the next thing you know, Bob Alexander got himself arrested for indecent exposure in downtown Ocean Drive. When we got the call, Mike Grier got all excited and said "I'm a lawyer. Let me go. Please? I haven't practiced a case since I don't know when." So Tom and I drove.down to the jail with Mike. It turns out that the indecent exposure charge was not as serious as we had thought -- Bob was just arrested for wearing short pants. A little bit later, we were driving down the highway when we ran into Hal Brunton trying to sell these people 1600 feet of ocean front property. He was calling himself the Carolina Research and Development Foundation. When we passed by, he yelled to Tom "Hold on. I just might get that one million that I lost!" When we got back, Eston Marchant was telling everybody how he used to be an army brat at the 59th Infantry Brigade at Fort Jackson back in 1940, and everybody was falling asleep. Later that night, I let Bob put some music on the old stero there, and he went hog-wild ... he played nothing but Joan Baez and Phil Ochs and Woody Guthrie and Bob Dylan. Drive us all out of the house, whereupon we promptly lost Mike. Seems he was out defending cases in North Myrtle Beach's Magistrate's Court and got himself busted for obstructing justice. That's all right, though ... he'll be back at USC in 30-90 days. Bob got busted too. He was doing his old "drive-the-bicy cle-with-two-toes " trick and ran smack dab into a cop car. Bob'll be back in 30 days or $30. Chuckles Witten got his when Big Jim Dickey (as he likes to be called now) came over and challenged everyone to canoe-rowing contest at high tide. They both got busted for failure F NIGHT The House JNER-GET ONE FREE [TI_*i1-9 irlic, bread and chef salad. IONDAY Midnigh t action of 378 and I-26 e Ramada Inn OD Bec to yield right of way to a Coast Guard vehicle. Hal was nabbed for trying to sell the Atlantic Ocean to a bunch of Canadians. Marchant got it for imitating an Army master sergeant (he got pulled and never cracked a smile. Nobody was impressed by the fact that he was chairman of North A BY LARRY E. EDMOND Sports Editor North All-Stars snapped a three-year losing string by nipping the South Friday night at Williams- Brice Stadium in the 26th Annual South Carolina Coaches Association football game. A rain-soaked field and the obvious unfamiliarity with the artificial turf made the defenses sparkle and the offenses look like boggle-fingered boobies. Both teams' offenses appeared disjointed. Seven fumbles were lost and each team lost an aerial. Both North scores came as a result of fumbles. The first score of the game was a two-pointer when a South swarm trapped Stanley Morgan in the end zone late -in the second period. The South safety was the only score of the first half. North drove 61 yards in'nine plays to score the first touchdown of the game in its first possession of the second half. ich Exc the USC Board of Trustees.) So Tom and I came back to Columbia to the peace and quiet of the University of South Carolina in the summertime -- content in the knowledge that, among all the people that usually come to visit us and -wreck our evenings at home -- all of them were in the clink at Il-Stars Ro The key plays were passes frorr Hugh Bell to Ricky Davis for 35 yards followed by a 12-yard toss to Ken Helms that made it first and goal at the South six. Leonard Duncan then capped the drive by plunging two yards for the score after Ken Callicutt had ground out four tough yards against the determined South defense. Duncan scored both North touchdowns. The second was a daredevil 50-yard dash on a fumble recovery. He was named the game's most outstanding back for his efforts. With the South trailing 14-2 it got the break it needed when Callicutt fumbled a South punt at his own 29 and Beaufort's Harold Gordon recovered. Summerville's Lucius Goodwine spurted up the middle on a trap and scored. Steve Kirkland converted and with 2:44 left the score was 14-9. "It was just a game of breaks," ..jj... r ing Ocean Drive. Tom and I sat dowrn to watch "Marcus Welby" with a couple of Ocean Spray Cranapple juice cocktails in our hands and loving every minute of it. Nobody will come back for at least 30 days. How nice. All for now, Mary. ut South said Dalton Rivers, head coach of the victorious North. He had strong praise for his defensive line -- which held the South stars to only one first down in the second half: Scott, Wallace, Thomas, Normal and the game's most 'valuable lineman J.T. Williams. Rivers said, -"We won it on defense." South head coach Leon Maxwell of Bamberg-Ehrdardt agreed that defense was one of the k ey factors of the game. "Both teams played well on defense." Maxwell was a little perturbed about what he cgnsidered a deviation from prearranged conditions. "I'm not trying to take anything from the North's defense. They had a bunch of great kids," he said. "But their nose guard kept shooting right and left and he was in our backfield all night. They shouldn't make rules unless they're going to enforcethem." OSSO S Op evm five oint S. 0