The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, January 29, 1973, Page Page 6, Image 6
Lucius Stonerap
o win r
BY BOB CRAFT
COLUMNIST
A SATIRE
Saturday night, my old friend
Lucius P. Stonerap showed up at my
house with a a pronouncement,
"Bob, I got it! I know how we can
win the war!"
I told Stonerap that the cease-fire
had gone into effect about an hour
before and that there was no need
for end-the-war plans anymore.
"Ahh, man, yeah, I know that. The
war has ended, but we didn't win
it, man! I know how we can win
it!" Stonerap doesn't generally
delve into semantics so I was
intrigued.
"You see, Bob, right now the only
way we gonna win the war is by con
vincing ourselves that we won it.
You see, the only way to do that is
through the mass media and what
is the biggest of all our mass media?
TeeVee, naturally.
"Now folks, believe what they see
on the television, like they used to
believe their newspapers .. I mean,
lookit, we got M A S H going on right
now and before long that show is
gonna have us believe we came out
of Korea better than even despite
what the history books say,"
Stonerap had led me into another
of his traps, so I had to ask him what
he had in mind.
"Why a TeeVee show, naturally.
Now naturally, it couldn't be about
a combat unit, it has to have sort
of a light touch and there wasn't too
much of that in the Nam. Sooo, what
I'm proposing is a show about the
peace-keeping force . .
"See, it'd be safe, really safe. We
could have it focus on a Canadian
"Organics" a
FOR MORE INFORM
DO IT NOW FOl
P. O. BOX
PHOENIX, ARI2
The first "bummer" drug
which was supposed to be tett
tic product with heavy marij
out in virtually every case to I
with many adverse reactions.
started wising up a little. I
PCP substitution was early 19
first became a popular topic i
people didn't catch on, as real
tion was largely confined to i
Today, the fact th t virtu
around is actuall
Each new ge
phoney THe
rocannabfijal
even begin to
earned $2, or e
OWs.the y
search for
Avenue hyp' 1
become more
in search of M er toua
The troubi
unfavorable nmli m
drugs, the ra
taking LSn
which alle
rams in
were tu rMIjst i
"mescal i
sion LSD-PWeseMWatione
demand for "organic" chem:
LSD has in reality skyrocket4
We would like also to make
of dealers have never had r
though they all think they ha
Experienced users will swa
silocybin" which contains o
resemblance to their LSD exr:
often swear that the reactiona
even though PCP's reactions
iNam
as the main character, that way
since Canadians don't have accents,
we could have an American play
him. Since the force only carries
there would be a minimum of viol
ence for P3store and think of scen
ery shots as the peace keeper flies
over Vietnam in those white
helicopters," Stonerap whirled his
arms.
"There could be adventure as our
dauntless Canadian breaks up the
black market, investigates the
Saigon chapter of Save the Children
Foundation and help clean up the
B-girl rings.
"There could be comedy as our
Canadian tries to start an ice hockey
team at Con Thien, you know that
sort of thing.
"Now here's the important part.
We slowly shift the content of the
shows until the American people,
see that it was right for us to go
into Vietnam, you know, have
squirrely little V.C. break the peace
every week, until after a few years
the American public will be scream
ing for us to go back into Vietnam
to win this thing once and for all!"
I asked Stonerap what would hap-.
pen if he couldn't find a sponsor and
what would happen if it was can
celled.
"No problem, Dow Chemical is
trying for a comeback and we just
let the network schedule us after
Mary Tyler Moore; we'll run
forever", Stonerap had me again.
"Well," Stonerap wearily got to
tis feet and placed his hand over
his heart, "It's the least I can do for
my President.Xou see, Bob, we gotta
knuckle down and win the peace.
We want an honorable peace and it
won't be honorable until we win it."
ctually LSD
ATION WRITE:
JNDATION
5115
ONA 85010
was "THC." This chemical,
rahydrocannabinao, a synthe
uana effects, actually turned
e PCP, an animal tranquilizer
After m ps, people
'he firs about the
57, hen THC
ri t . Still, many
list rug educa
vor
ally "THC" going
1 y its users.
' buys this
al tetrahyd
rodu ey couldn't
chemical ith their hard
has beerr ld for.
able pu ity, increased
ig Madison
'you, it has
or "psilocybin"
ar mng for.
10 ople are experiencing
from these "milder"
We ing to avoid by not
ystery to many,
analysis pog
. the samples
lly all of the
D, oron occa
.us, With the increased
icals, the actual ingestion of
d.
a note that as many as 90%
eal mescaline or psilocybin,
ve.^
sar that "mescaline" and "p
nly LSD bore absolutely no
eriences. Users of fake THC
vas like a "heavy grass high",
are totally unlike marijuna.
Letters
Welcome
Letters to the editor on
topics are welcome but
subject to editing and
condensation to meet
style and space require
ments. All letters must
be typed and must be
signed with the full
name, address and phone
number of the author.
Unsigned letters or
those with pseudonyms
will not be printed.
The letters should be
addressed to Letters To
the Editor, The
Gamecock, Drawer A,
USC, Columbia, S.C.,
29208.
uDI
Jan. 30th
and 31st
Your N4olr
GAMECOCK
Although The Gamecock is a publication of the
students of the University of South Carolina, it
is not an official publication of the university. The
opinions expressed herein do not necessarily rep
resent those of the university, the student body
or all staff members of The Gamecock.
Editor ....................... Jerelyn Eddings
Editorial Page Editor ........ Linda C. Owens
News Editor ................... Patrick Tyler
Copy Desk Chief .................. Bill Grant
Sports Editor ................... Steve Parker
Asst. Sports Editor .-.......... Jim Hersh
Advertising Manager .............. Art Frank
Copy Editors ................ Val Mc Donald,
Mary Myers,
Sybil Norwood
Photo Editor ...................... Tom Price
PANTED
nor: for ring d.ays
REWARD
self with a eteal of a deal1
IGDAYS
WHERE
Campus
Shop
75 Hours Required to Order
Bring Elegability from Registrar's
Office.
TepTeeontat17|| wY111 macmplice ym,u