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Those Bati Sprii By MARGARET SHAIEULY Staff Writer "Now I lay me down to slee My vow to diet, I did keep. Bi if I should die before I wak heaven had better have chocola, cake." Even though most of 1 will probably have to settle f< devil's food cake, this parody e: presses a popular sentiment. It is said that in spring a your man's fancy turns to thoughts o Anoni By A GIRL Of The Staff Whoever said that girls arer the weaker sex? Well, whoever it was, it ce tainly couldn't have been a gih We girls are weaker and we inter to keep our advantage. If th vicious rumor - that the fema is just as strong or stronger the the male - became widely a cepted, what a catastrophe for t) American Girl! For one thing, there would I no more opening of car doors f4 her, or gallant you-firstism amor the males; when a young la would enter a room full of seat( men, they would all remain seat( - and if a man came in while sl was sitting, she might even I expected to stand up! A f t e r while, she might even be requir( to take off her hat indoors, ar what a blow that would be to tl women's millinery industry. Imagine PT courses opening v for girls in wrestling, footbal boxing and such strenuous sport Certainly some women indulge i them, but hardly the majority; f< the most part, the female of ti species has no interest at all i spectating, much less participatir in, these sports. A little juc wouldn't be objected to, howev4 -for defense against the strong4 sex. We girls like for men to 1 Seeus. Nwad. Spoke. ON CAMPUS It happened in South, she saa - a girl next door insisted c giving a massage, and proceedh as f ol1o ws: baby oil, wate Noxema, Clearasil, hand 10 t i o: cough medicine, baby p o w d e water again, and lipstick. Ar keep it on overnight. Professors giving out free cul - but how come never two pri fessors give cuts on the same da3 livi for re ung Suits Ar ig Mea love. Since the subject never leaves t a girl's mind, her thoughts simply t take on a new aspect of the "fa- 9 it vorite sport." Modern young t e, maidens become preoccupied with 9 ,e the task of fitting Into last year's d is swim suit. Unfortunately many n or find that their suits have mysteri- c . ously shrunk, or that the seams don't seem to stretch as far as in the days of yore. The practical t )f minded might point out the fact a mOUs C4 stronger. They don't have to be a Hercules or Samson - deliver us o from Johnny Welssmuler. They v 't just ought to be stronger; people d to lean on and feel protected by f r- and to open doors and light cig- r arettes for you. Girls are soft and n weak knd feminine and like to be s treated as such, even when we e is aren't. A man who offers a girl his t le chair immediately becomes a r n knight in armor to her, and if he 'I tells her that she has beautiful eyes - well, he'd better watch out, a ke because from that moment he is a t Target. oe We realize that men don't like r r to feel like targets, but after all - v g don't you guys brag about it just r y Motion I ie a d The other night we saw a movie d on teleVision - Saturday night, it b P was, on a program called Grave- t yard Shift. The interesting bit of a - cinema was called "X - The Un- b n known." r ir This slice of elementary algebra t te didn't have a lot to do with the c n story, of course. The Unknown v g was a kind of sloppy crawly stuff, 0 like radioactive hominy grits, that crawled out of a big crack In the r ground and started stealing radio activity and going back down in cthe crack and getting bigger and coming out again for more radio activity. It made only a little com motion at first - burning a few nosy soldiers, arousing the curi osity of scientist Dean Jagger - but then it killed a little boy, and we all know what that means. The rs whole world arose. n Well, all Scotland, anyway. We assume it was Scotland because r, the soldiers talked like Scots and 'there was a quaint old church. But r, to get back on the track, Dean d Jagger, our hero, kept fooling around in his lab of radioactivity until the Unknown finally got Anthony Newley, which we, being as fans of Anthony Newley, really >- felt was quite uncalled for. '?It was then that the military eller lather ilIy smooth shavesi 1.00 ] lasting i I glides never st wihthat cr STight! ns Di at there is more of the coed than tere was last summer. But that is D crude, and besides no one admits lings like that. In mass the feminine population reets the spring season with a etermination to prepare for sum ter. Out come the exercise records, alorie charts and will power. [opes run high and there is a Light decrease in the consumption f candy bars. This spurt of en iusiasm usually begins to wane fter the third plate of cottage ned Rel little when you know you are ne? Maybe you get discouraged rhen girls turn you down for ates, but there are girls with as ew or fewer dates than you, iany of whom would be glad to take you a Target. And being ft and feminine, girls are gen rally happy to be made Targets hemselves, especially if it's by the ight guy - and he may be You, Iger. The Battle of the Sexes depends great deal on this ancient belief hat women are weaker than men, nd we girls intend to keep it iodern too. Maybe it's because romen don't complain as much as ten do that makes some people icture R rhe Unkn ecided that the gooey mess was ecoming a menace to society, and ie brass called in Dean Jagger nd told him to get rid of it. He lew it up at the end, after a eally frightening episode where ie puddle of glowing oatmeal was reeping up on one of the heroes rhose jeep was stuck in the sand. THE SAFE W without harmi NoDoz keeps you mentally alert with the same safe re fresher found in coff'ee and tea, Yet NoDoz is faster, handier, more reliable. Abso lutely not habit-forming. brisk, t the origi spice-f reshness on fast, ickyl 1.00 Isp. clean masculin 4tTo cheese or the thirty-first "wai bend." Calories Count Whether it is angel food cake a delicacy from a hotter ove one can rest assured that f caloric content is quite high. Upc close examination it seems thi everything is fattening; even ai Some people will swear on a co< book that they gain weight I even smelling food. That must 1 why some thoughtful soul gave i the Slater System. After a wei aliates refute it, and there are scientif facts proving that women Iii longer than men, but what < those prove? Merely that wom( are more patient and don't r; around drinking, smoking and ge ting shot for bad gambling deb like men do. Some cynic has sa that women live longer than mf because they aren't married women, but we say hah - why it, then, that married men Iii longer than bachelors? Yes, men, we women are ju waiting to be taken under yox protective wings. We are tl weaker sex - and if you deny i you'll get a punch in the mout From our fathers, of course. ?viewed: own, le got away, though. The mov ended on a note of suspicion thi It wasn't quite dead - or wha ever passed for dead in relation 1 It - but the viewer was gls enough it was over to overlot such ominous forebodings. But this movie was better thE most of them. AYio stay alert Ful stimulants Next time monotony makes you feel drowsy while driving, working or studying, do as millions do . .. perk up with safe, effective NoDoz tablets. Another fin. product of Grove Laboratores. racing nat resh lotion I 1.25 e aroma I Many it of hard boiled eggs and one and three - fourths cups of cottage -heese, life somehow loses its or lustre. 1, Another bright saying is that 's 'too many live to eat instead of n -ating to live." However, Aunt Lt Jemima declares "What's life r. vvithout food?" For the diet weary, k ,he fresh green blades of grass Y )egin to resemble rows upon rows oe of French-fried potatoes. Every I time one laces up her worn tennis k shoes, visions of spaghetti and meatballs boil in her head. Now when a dachshund appears as a; foot-long hotdog, it's time for sup per. In this world of struggle and strife there was created a blessed group of people who could eat a mountain of eclaires and still re ic semble a string bean. These are ,e the "destestiblZs." Somehow one, 1o always passes with his calorie n laden tray while our heroine is n eyeing her meager ration. L Exercise Records d There is a popular belief that n exercise decreases the excess. It is attributed to Debby Drake. Armed s with an exercise record, diagrams, re and a lot of excess, determined misses give it the final effort. The 3t record spins (it looks like a well ir done pizza), and a disgustingly ie sweet voice begins bossing one t, about. By the time our friend has h successfully managed the first knee bend, Miss Voice is ready to be flipped. The diagrams are cer tainly no comfort. They always show a very slim and trim lass in snug leotards. If one looked like that, one wouldn't waste one's time exercising with a stupid record. Naturally after a half hour of this depressing torture one seeks com fort in the nearest chocolate nut te sundae adorned with w h i p p e d t cream and a little red cherry on t top. d There is always comfort in the k thought that Russians like their women healthy. B e s i d e s, swim suits come in all sizes. - ITS TRADE 'N' RA 1 Sport Coupes above: Cornute Sting 5 different i Xt's get-the-cottage-ready tfn Travel Time at your Chevrol of Chevrolet's five great high Now it's easy to go on,s luxury Jet-smooth Chevrolet, performance and comfort. O Chevelle . Now _______ offers ex PEWT'RAE And the mmmmm~~.U.Ub)fun fror, ""as snmmseusm big chol ENEK Tur T.N.T DEALS O CnEurOLEaa Artist C Much In By ILLA HOEFER Reporter If you came up in the Russell House a few weeks ago, you must have noticed the abstract paintings being exhibited in the lobby. The artist whose works were on display is Martin Buck ley, a Fine Arts major who will receive his A.B. this June. Every artist has his own ideas and theories concerning the colors, mediums, and tech nique3 he uses in his paintings. According to Buckley, there is a great deal of chaos in the world today. In his paintings, therefore, he has tried to show us parts of this chaos; in par ticular, the parts which are most meaningful to him. He Barry Gol Campaign The young man answering news ien's questions in the Jefferson otel Monday afternoon looked iore like Peter O'Toole than his ither, Barry Goldwater. As newspaper and television re Lrters asked questions, Barry oldwater, Jr., smiled, drank his oke and supported his famous kther's view poin t s. His main oints during the brief Youth For oldwater-sponsored press confer ce were conservatism, impor ance of youth in his father's impaign, and the Rep ublican arty's need to stand for some iing that did not closely resemble ie Democratic standpoint. When the choice was between 'ixon and Kennedy, he said, the PATRONE'S CLI TW4 713 MAIN STREET (Amees Fr 1 1209 PENDLETON ST. (Aaeo Fi EL TIME AT YOUR CHI S/ ta,Chey a, CrarMos,C way to mae a for example is eaut riva ls juaa C trys tol m akye of trv Lado ofwmi s riytncey e.riftChevybI ats h-fatertenh at dewcr'. Tm o get ouret tradei S our hperohis beatyer's Co guet no i neuw ca time.... ......~ an Find His Art chooses the colors and forms that can beat express his feel ings to beholders. "In art an individual can find many things," says Buckley, and he enumerates the possi bilities. "Perhaps art stimulates his active mind; or serves as an escape from reality." What ever an individual sees in art is there. Thus paintings and such serve "as many purposes as there are people." Martin Buckley also believes that since art has no set formulas it can never stand still - it must be constantly changing. Buckley's exhibit was intro duced by the Fine Arts Com mittee of the Student Union and was his first one-man show. iwater, Jr. s For Dad Republicans and the Democrats could hardly be told apart. Gold water, he went on, is the first real conservative leader for the Repub lican Party in years, and he feels that many Southern states will follow him. Young people, college and even high school age, are vital in his campaign; "they can al ways vote for his re-election," he replied, when told some were too young to vote. Barry Goldwater, Jr., 25 years old and unmarried, and his younger brother Mike started cam paigning for their father without the elder Goldwater's knowledge, but now they have spoken on many college and high school campuses all over the U. S. Barry, Jr., him self lives in Los Angeles. EANERS & LAUNDRY ) LOCATIONS NEAR THM CAUS U. HdM M-ss- - Now To "SAMMY m CORNE ARMS) EVROLET GEALER evleMlb,Chvoe mae ig splsh wie a slas CApree. Inpa. It about any ear in styling, I in the youthfully styled sifed for easy handling. It power. Unique Corvair gging rear engine traction. 5me. Time to get the most on your old one. To get a, .s on Ii E NOW AT TOUR CEVROEntT fraJrRS