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this Was Ihe \lee( hai as ON ROCKS 1rAe This Was The Week That Was Is a satirical British television program which has been picked up not frequently enough via satellite from London. The following observa tions are from the November twenty-third broadcast: "It would be good to hope tha the assassinaion of President Kennedy would serve an ultimate goal. It would also be naive." On the humble Proud: "No matter how high upon the stool of state one sits, he also rests upon his own tail." FIRST IMPRESSIONS Less than two hours and forty minutes ago John Ken nedy was assassinated. For the first time in the lives of the young adults who have been called members of the "tor mented generation," they, united in the same hour and same moment of eternity, have been confronted with themselves. We are all stripped of externals. We are no longer primarily members of this or that fraternity or sorority. We are no longer typed by the cut of our clothes, our sectional wants, our regional rivalries. Nor are we bound by the sometimes pretentious society in which we live. The hiearchy of false values crumble down around us leaving what is real in our lives to shine forth . . . if we have real values left. What is paramount becomes meaningful: God, home, and loved ones. We are, no doubt for the first time, Americans. The murder of our President is the gravest possible effrontery to the Republic for which we stand. We are also united as fellow homo sapiens: the murder of one of our brethren under God being the gravest possible violation of the most ancient of standards-due deference to the dignity of a human soul. THOSE OF A FRIEND "Isn't it a pity, though, that it takes such horrible and tragic things to bring people closer together, and make them forget their petty differences? And, I guess the real pity of it all is that this is just a temporary state of mind for most of us. Eventually, we shall all assume our various and sundry prejudices once again and life will go on, pretty much the same as it did before. I guess the thing to do now is to continue and try our best to keep this country a good one." Yes, that which is not of importance returns. But years from now I will look upon this day and remember an hour or so when we knew what mattered in our lives. And to that hour, though knowing inability to put into practice that which one advocates, I would hope to pledge the rest of my life. Initially, I would pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and . . . God help me, I have forgotten the rest. TOO CYNICAL? As preposterous as the ideal would have it seem, the dleath of a president called forth some spontaneous reaction which even the word "callous" would (dignify. Some ex temporaneous response was nothing short of "It ain't no big thing." I ask you, Gentle lReader, if the epic enacted twvo hours after High Noon in D)allas, November 22, 1963, weren't no big thing -- what in your heaven or hell is? Overheard in class : American theatrical audiences need interp)retors to tell them what is funny in a drama, because they don't know when to laugh. "Just as American Univer sities don't know when to close their dloors until someone has to tell them." SOCIALLY The Carolina-Clemson game was wvon andl lost. One side celebrated, one side took the sting out of (defeat . . . both in the same way. Many gathered in their homes to observe one D)ay on which we give thanks for the blessings be stowed upon us during each of the remaining three-hundred and sixty-four. Tfhe Phi Kap Fraternity Party. Final prep arations~ for Columbia young ladies' presentation at the Assembly to come next week. Babies wvere born. Students prepared for classes. Song Fest p)ractices. Countless hun dlreds (lie in traffic accidlents (luring the holiday week-end. Christmas lights prematurely announcing the birth of Our Lord - Shop in Columbia. Students beginning to forsake college and go to school. So life goes on. Let us not forget wvhy. 'The deadline for cop)y for the soclety and reature pages is Monday afternoon . . . news turned in earliest will be given priority. MUSIC STUDIO I p s . Martin Fender Gibson Guild Gretsch.Eschin GUITARS ..u AND BE SURE TO ASK ABOUT OUR2 ChristmasP U Lay-A -Way Phone AL 4-0825 391 Mot.cllogoa ___________________ otle ne teathrt f h o fh .. Reader's Reviewer Mr. Dooley is back in the news. Except for an occasional quota tion, the wisdom of this fictional Irish social philosopher, brainchild of the late Finley Peter Dunne and spiritual godfather of e v e r y stuffed - shirt - deflater since, has been missing from the public prints for more than 40 years. On November first Atlantic-Lit tie, Brown publishes "Mr. Dooley Remembers," a book about Mr. Dooley and Finley Peter Dunne by Philip Dunne. No other American humorist was ever more influential in shap ing the political and social life of his time than Finley Peter Dunne, creator of "Mr. Dooley." Born in Chicago in 1867, F.P.D. attended the city's public schools and, upon graduation from high school, went to work as a news paper copy boy, became a reporter, and by the time he was 22 had become the city editor of the Chi cago Times. Later he served with the Evening Post and Times Herald, and as e d i t o r of the Journal. Mr. Dooley originally made his appearance in 1892. At first Dunne confined Mr. Dooley's ob servations to local Chicago politics, but they soon moved on to national and international affairs, as well is general humanistic philosophy. The columns were widely syndi nated here and in England. "Mr. Dooley Remembers" is the result of an unusual collaboration between the elder Dunne and his .on Philip. Back in the 1930's the vounger Dunne, a successful screen writer, director and producer, negan coaxing the elder to write 'is memoirs. F.P.D. started the ,vork but never finished it; he lied in 1936. "Mr. Dooley Remembers" is Philip Dunne's collection of his father's letters and notes, the ntimate memoirs of the humorist vhose wit and wisdom made i m e r i c a think - by making Americans laugh. To these Philip ias supplied extensive and illumi iating commentary on his father's 'haracter, times and works. "Mr. Dooley Remembers" is a felightful and completely different >ook. which will appeal to every :ind of reader. Part memoir, part >iography, part history, part witty leeply moving story of a son's ocial comment, it is also the iffection and respect for his 'ather. The father is the famous Finley Peter Dunne, newspaperman and -reator of the immortal "Mr. D)ooley," the Ir'ish bartender and social philosopher who made Amer ica think by making Americans laugh. From his saloon on Chi 'ago's "Archey Road," Mr. Doolcy it the turn of the century com mented on the affairs of the world. leflating the pompous and the predatory, brilliantly satirizing the foibles of his time and of human nature and vanity in all times. His witty and acid comments were readl aloud at the cabinet meetings of three Presidents, as well as at -i m i 1 i o n American breakfast tables, making his creator, Finley Peter Dunne, possibly the most influential working newspaperman this country has ever known. The son, Philip Dunne, is well known in his own right as a writer, dlirector and producer of important motion pictures. jump.. lift.. puffi take a break ...things g ~gorf NOV feus,you old tightwedl Her Diaphrani Or, How To 1 Without Losii A month ago this problem might have been named the "Mid Semes ter Bulge." Now it has become the "Post-Thanksgiving Panic." The sneaky signs we conven iently ignored as we labled the scales inaccurate and the mirror distorted climaxed at the first cold snap - then, though it was, of course, no indication of forth coming winter weather, it was a grand excuse to scramble into our wool clothes. Guess what didn't fit? Point No. 1. - The drycleaner did not really shrink your herring Dear Zaze Dear Zazel: During the recent nocturnal fes tivities certain young ladies were courageous enough to toss various articles, which had evidently been Miss Zazel Wilde very close to them, to us. We would like to take this means of thanking them. The K-Dorm Commandos P. S. Would the little swect beart who w r o t e "Give 'em HIELL!!" in lipstick on the back of a pair of size fives, please be good enough to attach a photo next time. * 0 0 Dear Zazel: I have been dating Tony for quite a while now, and he keeps telling me what a cute little asp) I have. I am worried that I may lose him, for after all, what else have I got to offer him? Cleo D)ear Cleo: Your pyramids? * . 0 Dear Zazel: My girlfriend is ambidextrous. I prefer her using only one hand. What could be worse? One-Hand Man Dear One-Hand: A mbisextrous. ble.... leap... pull... puff... o better with Coke ,now, I wouldn't be Shels uit cont ...Just seen in Tartarus with that rg L at Eve. in th.... Adam gave he ...WMAT A QTEVE?! gar agc '1. ic Reducti ose Weight zg Your Head bone tweed wrap a r o u n d, or jealously move the buttons on your camel hair blazer. Point No. 2. - The occurrence is still amazing, considering the most constant complaint around campus pertains to the food. But though students rave and carry on that it's not even fit for Clemson, they faithfully wait through the lines and gobble it down three times a day. If we scorn the creamed crab cakes downstairs we can always substitute for French fries and milk shakes upstairs. Or chocolate covered cream of peanut bars in the robot room. Or dive into the 1.... By ZAZEL WILDE Dear Zazel: Girls keep stopping me as I stroll around the grounds to ask inc if I'm a turtle. What should I tell them? I don't even know what a turtle is. Todd Dear Todd: Tell them you'd rather be a rabbit. " " 0 Dear Zazel: I would like to write a letter to the administration about the bed bugs in my bed. They are keeping me from sleeping by crawling all over me. But bed bug is such an ignoble term, so what word could I substitute? Sleepless Dear Sleepless: Night crawlers. HUNGRY? *( CHOICE OF ENTREE CHARCOAL OUR BUTTERED BUN, FRENCH F IN TOWN THAT SI 1111 LADY STREET It's you,princess,when Jack Winter look. But a minute to learn aboll of stretch. Because o yourself in Jack Wir pants, youl are going F test. Be darn sure ye Questions. Should you pants? What kind of ti take? Most all figures by stretch, whether an gular, or a figure eight have an hourglass tigt the annd hasnk1 to to Well... aP IMuet y s~~4 Srunning.., 0.0 ons For The Current ( are p a c k a g e someone's Betty Drocker inclined partent mailed ... oconut cheese cake and brown es, and oatmeal cookies and >anana bread and pecan pie. Positively don't despair-this is a iighly universal p r o b 1 e m and lestined to be a most constructive irticle. Probably you can form a :lub with everybody else on your all, except your skinny little iuitemate . . . yeah, the one who ceeps handing out the brownies. rhere's one in every crowd. Time is the problem now. It's icarly Christmas. Do you think ,ou gained weight at Thanks ;iving? . . . ha ha . . . wait 'til Thristmas! To get to the point, The Game ock hearby humbly offers the fol owing suggestions. 1. Don't cut off your head . . . that would be highly un original. 2. Wear blinders, like a horse, and look straight ahead, and not at the dessert section. 3. Ask your mother to only u can always find what HIMMY'S RESTAURANT, 11 LUNCHES START AT 65c 2 VEGETABLES, BREAD, BUTTE BROILED STEAK I GAMECOCK SPECIAL $ RIES, FRESH TOSSED SALAD AND RVES THIS ITEM GENUINELY CI DPEN 24 HOURS DAILY COLUM~ e Biggest little Place In Tou is it me...or Jac you have the stretchl pants whoa... taike inIg. You won t the subhjcCt slip in, but I rice you put b)ind either. iter stretch just right...Ie get the eye port ionIed in y u can pass. So it's you an wear stretch all those stra gure does it turn-about-fa are flatteredI WVinter causil gutar, triani .I'V(ll if y'oul re where all f the bottom, u4( H..o.(... gou gee, LuciWer... sent I've a little for me, project for here? you... N eginners arolina Coed? send you celery. 4. Live off 2-calorie-cokes and life savers for a few weeks. 5. Chew gum. 6. Smoke. 7. "I hate food" . . . repeat ... "I hate food" .. . repeat ... 8. Start riding a bicycle from class to class. 9. Take up modern dancing. 10. Just smell . . . it's free. Mike Howard Is President Of Pledges Mike Howard has been chosen president of the Delta Sigma Pi business fraternity pledge class. Also elected were Terry Lee, Sec retary, and Paul Maxwell, Treas urer. The Delta Sigma Pi active chapter is now having a fund raising project selling light bulbs. ou want to eat at 11 LADY STREET. R, COFFEE OR TEA ANDWICH 1.00 THE ONLY RESTAURANT ARCOAL BROILlED. BIA, SOUTH CAROLINA ki Wlinter! ~an do quick suhtract t need a grease job to hiere's no sag, bag or ac.k Winter cuts 'em in andl ladylike. ..pro our proper leg-length. dl Jack Winter getting ighlt-on, slant-eyed, se looks. You and Jack g that campus stir. ~Viner v., New Yaork City