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UNIVERSITY OF SOUTH CAROLINA CROWING FOR A GREATER CAROLiNA Vol. XLVIII, No. 25 COLUMBIA, SOUTH CAROLINA, APRIL 1, 1958 Gamecoc Earth-Mo By One Of Despite a determined effo ficials to keep the matter ou Was uncovered the facts concer '1hift that operated the eart Field last week-end. . Thi shameful debauch, wh dollar law-suit and the expulsic and executed by the members o sources reveal. When anything goes amiss on campus you can (if you try hard enough) blame it on the Greeks, who, behind their buckles, um ,.f4A_ brellas, and crew-neck sweaters, "ain't got no couth" after all. The * members of these two organizations were returning from Lake Murray where each year they jointly hold a type of regatta, in which the brothers, straining at the oars, give their all to bring their frat's shell across the line first. Upon returning to the campus about midnight Saturday, the los ing group challenged the winners to a Lrack meet on the construc - tion site of the new library. The challenge was accepted (for who wants to be labeled a poltroon) and a card of events was drawn up. It was then that a near fatal ity occurred when a young Greek drove a scraper up a steep em bankment which ended in a 80 ft. drop-off. Questioned about this later, the guilty party said that he was attempting to put the machine "in orbit" and that It seemed like a good Idea at the time. All the earth moving equipment saw service before the meet ended but there was one event that stood out; the dragline-bulldozer battle. In this featured event, which M sembled the death struggle of two dinausaurs, the bull-dozer opera tor attempted to bury the drag line operator before the latter could drop a "mouthful" of earth on his head. --- Though most of the participants have been apprehended, campus police are still making arrests as the last of the group tunnel their way to the surface. The Gamecock has received word from an unconfirmed source that all of the expelled students have received a blanket scholar ship offer from an unidentified ACC school. Intramural Coke Fight #s Scheduled - The University will form an intramural Coke Fight program for the -Spring Semester. All Gamecocks are eligible, p)rovided they represent a char tered University organization and are approved by the Fine Arts Department. A spokesman for the Athletic Department said Cocke fighting has become an art, and Carolina doesn't wish to ignore the artistic elements, therefore, the Fine Arts Department is cooperating. Varsity football player. pre paring for the Alumni-Varsity game last Saturday by stocking up - on brass knuckles, spiked helmets, blackjacks, switch blade knives, and other equipment in despensable to any football player at Dodd and Gore Sporting Goods. . . . Amused observers noting a great increase in sales after it was announced that Sackie Binbade of the Housing Ministry would play for the Alumni. Car oL S coops vingStory Ihe Greeks rt on. the part of University Aof"the papers, The Gamecock ning the mysterious midnight i-moving machines on Davis Lich has resulted in a million in of 73 students, was planned f two fraternities, confidential USC Rides To Victory Over Madrid Carolina's don Juan Blanco M. Conaque lead the University Bull Fighters to victory against the Spanish contenders at the Univer sadad de Madrid last week, and was awarded two bull's ears and a tail for a performance termed "magnifico" in El Periodico de la .Luz, which is that University's counterpart of The Gamecock. Lead Matadore M. Conaque re fused to shoot. the bull with The Gamecock reporter upon his re turn, except to say that "all went well in the Bull Pen" . . . and that he was en route to Washing ton where he would receive Inter national honors as victor in the classic. None of his primary matadores, toredores or picadores will accom pany him there, however. The Carolina Bull Fighters were operating against a handicap in Madrid, since they have been as signed the sunny side of the arena. While M. Con aque el Magnifico is in Washington, his team will be in training at Clemson. In the near future, they will again take to the road taking on the fighters of Tacos Tech. Primary Matadores for don Juan Blanco M. Conaque el Superbo are Que Lorenzo Franco de Gravalindo and don Eduado Francisco Nolando. Toredores who travel with the team are: Fredrico de Vire Smitho, and 0. Henrique M. Keithan. Picadores for the entourage are: Hernandez H. Quintana and Rico Red Furguson del Cantino. The University team will meet Tacos Tech on April 20; San Quin tin on 21; Universadad de Cuidad de Mejico, April 22; Taquilla U., April 28; and Igloo U., Kodiak, Alaska, on April 24. The USC bulls will be kept at Clemson the remainder of the sea son. Seen, Heard, Spoken on Campus The Student Union announcing that an outstanding Visiting Artist Series would be introduced at Carolina next semester which will include such celebrities as Francis, the Talking Mule, -Pen tagon General Elvis Presley, Nikita K(rusehev, LaiKa's kennel mate, Licka, and Buck Rodgers of the Space Patrol.. The Debating Team - caught speechless and finishing last in the Seepage Springs University Debate meet due to all the de haters contacting Larangitis from an overdose of ice cubes in their tea.* Amazed TV tans in Russell House discovering that the TV set there had broken all precedent by working for an entire evening allowing the wondering student. to watch their favorite programs such ~as "Howdy Diddy," "Run Tin-Tan," "Playhouse 7,898,275" and "The .Jerry Gomo Show." inaRs Horsesl "TE AMO, AMERICANO" Languages department, is ehattl partment. Miss Tortoni holds a Jack French.) Language I New Additil Professor R. M. St6phan an nounces the addition of Miss Bis quit Tortoni to the faculty of the CLEMSON SECOND USC Wins Zero Junct The University Track Team edged the lead from arch-rival Clemson to win the famous Zero Junction Relays in a meet so close it kept the crowd biting their nails and anything else handy right up to the final minute. Showing the rest of the field a dazzling display of individual and team prowess, the USC hordes swept all events (with the brooms from their dormitory rooms) in record breaking times and dis tances to emerge victorious over six other , teams by a score of 130-0. (This was a somewhat larger margin of victoryy than has characterized USC teams in other sports this year. In this one meet more points were scored than the combined football, basketball, po ker, and billards teams have man aged this year.) Glue Applied Although there were a few thou sand fans from Duke, Florida U., Clemson, Maryland, Teachers Tech, and Winthrop who showed rather unsportsmanlike conduct by ac cusing the meet officials of favor Itism just because they gave all USC runners a 10-mirgute head start and applied glue to the bot toms of the shoes of rival runners, Carolina supporter. enjoyed the meet immensely. Indeed, all 10 enthusiastic USC supporters snored their approval so loudly and proudly that they broke windows from Mobile, Ala' bama, to Wheeling, West Virginia. Oh, yes, this is supposed to be a track story and so far nothing has been said about the specific events yet, has it ? Well, it wasn all very exciting. . . . Carolia distance stars Billy Lithuaniam and Willet Bore won the 50-mile and 100-mile races in a pair of finished photoe-ew photo finishes. They received a tree pair of artificial legs apiece as first prize. The time. were 5:q Sp eci, 10e Will X... %. X:' Miss Bisquit Tortoni, new addition ing with Mr. Fillyer Hudisill, also 01 Master's Degree In spaghetti and a lepartment on To Facul Foreign Languages department. Miss Tortoni is part of the plan to promote better relations be Famous ion Relays for the 50-mile run and 20:06 for the 100-mile race. Carolina Win The pole vault was won by 'btrolina's Conley Snipps with a prodigerous leap of 6'2" straight up and against the wind. He%was, sad to relate, arrested immediately afterwards for breaking the law of gravity. Sprinters Bing Rixon and Rim Cathcart tied for first in the Half mile dash with a time of 3 hro. 18 min. after lapping the entire field 17 times. BULLETIN: Dive Shimmey, highly publicized sprinter from Duke University has just com pleted the half-mile dash, in which he was the favorite, exactly 24 hours after the rest of the field. Buried Headstone and Dodd Goodyroll finished first and sec ond, respectively, in the 500-yard high, high, high hurdles despite poor visibility in going over them. A lone Clemson runner had the lead early in the race, but was easily passed when his pogo stick broke. The same race was delayed slightly when a' Florida U. hurdler got airsick in midleap and crashed on one of the timekeepers. Time and space do not permit the listing of all USC's heros on this gallant occasion. Therefore, we will merely observe that the race ended with a victory for Carolina's 10-yd, relay team whieb broke the track record with a time of 2 hrs. 88 mmn. and then were shot at sunrise by local police be cause they couldn't afford to pay for it. One possible record is still awaiting confirmation. Shot Put ter Dove Coats of USC, getting off -a poor throw due to two broken arms, outthrew his opponepts, but the put hasn't landed yet. It was last seen half wtay to South America. This may set a new track record if the put does not go into orbit. alAp Becom to the faculty of the Foreign n the itaff of the Languages de doctorate in Chianti. (Photo by knnounces ty Staff tween Italy and the U. S. through the exchange teacher system. Miss Tortoni is from Southern Italy where she attended the Uni versity of the Ricefields and Pizza Tech. She holds a Master's Degree in spaghetti and a doctorate in Chianti. Miss Tortoni's recently published book on Italian trade and commerce, entitled "Ravioli, Rosselini, and Rocky Graziano: The Three Main Exports of Italy," is a best seller on newsstands throughout Italy. When Miss Tortoni's macaroni freighter docked in Charleston last week, there was a group of Carolina representatives and re porters on hand to welcome and interview her. As she stepped off the, gangplank she was queried about integration. Miss Tortoni replied with a charm-in smile in faultless English: "I love Ameri can men.", Miss Tortoni confesses that she is thrilled over the prospect of teaching in an American school and wants to get acquainted with her students. In her own word.: "I love American men." Her hobbies are button-popping, spaghetti-stretching, and grape crushing. Miss Tortoni confides that her secret ambition is to be Dean of Women. She feels that her love of humanity, especially American men, would qualify her for the position. Miss Tortoni admits that she is homesick for her native ricefields where she has spent all of her life. In the spirit of true South ern hospitality Prof. Stephan, head of the department of For eign Languages, has arranged to have the classrooms flooded in an effort to make Miss Tortoni feel more at home. She will be teach ing Italian 11, 12, and 21 and special courses in Paisano. Miss Tortoni comments on the reception that she has received from Carolina students and the warm genuine interest that fac ulty members have displayed in an effort to make her feel com fortable. About the faculty in her native tongue she says, '*Ie amo, Americano." T r ansa t ed this means roughly, I love American ,Uen. n i te Park: Completion D During Faller Bids are being received fo nto a parking lot for underg Prattersen, Dean of Admonis a.m., this morning in a speci [Jniversity Newsyy Service, NUSC-TV. Dean Prattersen said that ,he work completed by the begi 3ut certainly, it will be complet Nominations For Sanitation Chief Open N,minations are now open for he coveted position of Sanitary ,ommander which is to be chosen n the forthcoming April elections. The person elected to this post vill be in complete charge of the rarbage brigade, and must there fore be a respon'sible, trustworthy ndividual who inspires confidence. 'he duties and pleasures of this 3osition have been greatly en ianced since the University's ac luisition of a cool, delicious, mint rreen garbage truck with delicate nint and white striped garbage icooper. The truck proudly bears the University's seal and it may be remarked that Carolina garbage is the only known garbage in the nation which bears an official ieal. This is evidence not only of the superior grade of school gar bage, but also of the Gamecock iotto of progress, "Crowin' For A Greater Carolina." This seal reads "Emollit Mores Nec Sint Esse Feros," which means, "It (referring to garbage truck) 3oftens More And Permits It (gar )age) Not To Be Fierce." Competition in this election is ceen. Candidates must be specially lualified. They must first be ap roved by Mr. Blackie Kincaid, iousing Director, who, because of is ardent interest in Res De Pro undis In Dormitoriis Puerorum (technical term for garbage) and uis Scridiendus Ad Nauseam (pro fessional slang for literary ta lent), has combined a true en thusiasm for sanitation with a rare literary aptitude as evidenced by his recent Housing Bulletin. For these reasons he has been unanimously appointed Sanitary General, Grand Overseer Of Gar bange. All those seeking election for hanitary Commander should see hir. Kincaid for further instruc ions. Nominations may be given to ~arbage men at regular collection ours. NVo Dueling Sess ion For Yext Week University Dueling Coach Sam ael Manding Hall announced this veek that no dueling practices rould be held next week because >f shortage of sparring partners. It is hoped that the instructions and drill may be resumed follow.. ng the next wave of University admissions applicants. The regular meeting of the Eu phradian Society was held last ruesnday. The topic of debate was, "Resolved that alcoholic beverages be b an n ed from University Campus." The negative side won without much trouble and the meeting was adjourned. olE ing Lot late Expected i Semester r "converting the Horseshoe raduate students," Dean W. htration, announced at 4:38 %l press conference with the The Gamecock, and Station the University hopes to have nning of the Fallen Semester, ed by the Sprung Semester. The awarding of the contract will be made during the ODK Awards Day festivities, when other awards will also be made. Surplus Funds Due to surplus funds in the University building budget, it is hoped that the contract can be awarded to the highest bidder, Dean Prattersen said. "At least, we will endeavor to award it to one of the highest," he added, stating that one of the Univer sity's new policies is that "the more something costs, the better it must be . . . and even so, the best is none too good." Present plans call for remov ing the trees, which for years have formed something of a virgin forest on the campus, and to re locate them on the new "horse shoe" which will be added in front of the new undergraduate library which is being constructed on the now-extinct Davis Field. Dean Prattersen "choked" at the conference this morning as he stated that "Maxey Monument" would have to go. He added that the monument had outlived its usefulness, and while the Univer sity hates to see it destroyed as a landmark steeped in Carolina tradition, they, nevertheless felt that the need for a parking lot was more demanding. Public Auction In the meantime, a spokesman for the Claire 0. Sophic Literary Circle, which actually owns the monument, said that the ball would be sold at public auction. Tentative plans for the auction are to schedule it at 6:30 a.m., Monday morning when the Stu dent Union Council sponsors a "hog calling" contest in front of the McKissick Library. It is be lieved that a number of Clemson students will be on hand for the affair, one way or the other, and bidding should be lively, the Claire 0. Sophic spokesman said. When asked what disposition would be made of the rest of the monument, the literary speaker was momentarily baffled, since the group rarely deals with such concrete matters, but finally ree ommended that it be presented to the Archaeology department, for the purpose of deciphering the Latin phrases scarcely visible under the sand-blasted sidings. Gas Pumps Getting back to the parking lot, however, Dean Prattersen said that gas pumps will be placed in front of the Caroliniana Library, allowing students to purchase gasoline at a consession station operated by the University Ex tension service. This will be but one of the many ways in which the Extension group serves the students. "They (the students) will be able to purchase gas from the sta tion on a 24-hour basis, as they are ready to leave the area." It was announced by the Extension that a sub-contract for the gas concession will be awarded to 8lader. The parking lot will be operated (Continued on page 4) litio