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( mpws Thoughtful Fi-iend - "My man, why don't you take the street car home?" Illuminated One - "Sh no ushe. My wife . wouldn'r let me keep it In the houshe.' Ethel - "What do you do when you see an unusually beautiful girl?" Jeanette - "I look for a while, then I get tired and lay the mirror down." Y * * He-"We're coming to a tunnel -are you af fald?" 0 She-"Not if you take that cigar out of your mouth." * * * There are five stages of Brandy and Water. The first is "Brandy and Water." The second is "Branny and Warwer." - The third is "Bran Warr." Fourth, "Brraorr." And the fifth, Collapse.. * * * "Are caterpillars good to eat?" asked little Tommy at the dinner table. "No," said his father, "what makes you ask a question like that khile we are eating?" "You had one on your lettute, but it's gone now," replied Tommy. * * * "Daddy, who was Hamlet?" "Bring me the Bible, you igno o- ramus, and I'll show you who he was." * * * He - "I don't know what's the matter. I never danced so poorly before." Women's Honorary Elects Bloodworth Mary Bloodworth, of Columbia, was elected president of Alpha Kappa Gamma, women's hpnorary fraternity, at their last meeting. Other officers elected were Libby Lewis, of Whitmire, to serve as vice-president .and Ann Darsey, of Columbia, sepretary. Plans for this semester indlidd compiling a -list vf ala oauuu lf th Flov rence Nightingale Circle of- AKG for the national handbook, -whiah .ia being revised at the present time, and will be edited by Frances Weeks, St. Matthews, and Irene Krugman, Columbia. New Ritz Theater Starting Sunday "LAS VEGAS STORY" Jane Russell Victor Mature Late Show Saturday Night S-T-A-T-E Sun. thru Wed. "HERE COME THE NELSONS" Ozzle & Harriet NEXT WEEK At The Theatres Palmetto sundat through Wednesday "RED SKIES OF MONTANA" In ester wIth Riehard WIDMARK and Constanes SMITH Carolina Suaday thresgh Saturday "RETREAT, HELL" - wIth Frank LOVEJOY and Anlta LOUISE Strand Sunday and Menday' "HUNT THE MAN DOWN" and Carla SALEWDA 5 Points Sunday through Tuesday "ALADDIN AND HIS LAMP" Starllte Drive-in "ONda T nd weada Humor She--"Oh, then you have danced before?" * * * "Why do girls roll their stock ings?" "They're afraid the teddy bears will. chew the tops off them." * * * "Are you fond of nuts?" "Is this a proposal ?" * * * "How do you get down off an elephant?" "You climb down." "Wrong!" "You grease his sides and slide down." "Wrong!" "You take a ladder and get down." "Wrong!" "Well, you take the trunk line down." * "No, not quite. You don't get dowrL off an elephant; you get it off a goose." * * * "Darling, may I kiss your hand?" asked the young man with old fashioned ways. "Sure, kid, hop to. it," said the Modern Jane, "But be careful not to burn your nose on my cigar ette." * * * Ethel - "Bill makes me tired." Martha - "It's your own fault, dear. You should stop running after him." * * * Policeman (to tramp sitting on top of oak tree) - "Hey! What are you doing up there?" Drunk - "I don't know; musta sat on an acorn." WAVES Offer Opportunities To Women Grads Lieutenant Commander Frances L. Hill, USN, will address all women in Room 24 of McCutcheon House on Monday, March 8, at 1:80 p. m. An oppertunity exists for 1tior *omen- to receive inform a tion concerning a career as a navaj officer. Lieutenant CommAnder Hill is the WAVE. procurement officer for the third navy recruiting, area, which 'hicludes six soutjkeastern states: *Ncrth Crolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Florida, Ala bama, and Tennessee. She will be in Columbia all day Monday, March 3, and will be 'available for inter views at the navy recruiting sta tion, 1210 Washington. street, be tween the hours 9 a. n. to 5 p. m., except for her appearance at Mc Cutcheon House. In a recent issue of "Mademois elle" it was pointed out that, "If you are a college graduate, the consensus seems to be that you will be happiest as an officer." The straightest route to officer rank is by application for commission from civilian life. You must be unmar ried and not yet 27 years of age. Lieutenant Commander Hill will discuss financial benefits in the WAVES which has a starting salary of $213 monthly with allow ances and a complete wardrobe. All senior women are especially invited to attend the address and become fully informed concerning the opportunities available to wo men as naval officers. Lieutenant Commander Hill will explain the method of application and process ing. She will name the pre requisites for application. In her talk, the type training to be under gone, the period of time of enlist ment, and the athletic, academic, spiritual, and social life will be discussed. Presbyterians Elect Spring Officers Ranmona Salleg, of Cameron, was elected president., of Westminster Fellowship at the First Presby terian Church at their regular sup per meeting recently. Helen Coggeshall, of Darlington, was elected state representative from the university, and ' Mott Gresham was elected to represent Columbia College. Vice-president for the coming year will be Brant ley Harvey, of Beaufort; Anne Evans, of Columbia, will be secre tary; and John Maekey, of Colum lia, will be treasurer. Preceding the election Anne Me Craw lead the devotional and Brantley Harvey spoke on the "Characteristics of a Leader" The Westminster Fellowship Spring Retreat will be held at the Citadel, in Charleston, the weehaend of Peb. ruty 2-Mar.h 8. Plans are being made at present for all et the of f leers and interested atwiest. te attend this eonfere'uee. MADDEN Shown above Is Professor John Madden, violinist of the university Music department, who, with Pfc Jess Casey, pianist of Ft. Jackson, will present a sonata recital Sun day, March 2, at 4 p. m. in the Uni versity chapel. Madden and Casey were classmates at the Eastnran School of Music from which both received the degree of Master of usic. The public is invited. Applebaum Tells Of Dates for Stunt Night Stewart Applebaum, publicity chairman, has announced that so rority stunt night will take place on Monday, April 7, and fraternity stunt night will be on Wednesday, April 9. Both of these will be at Drayton Hall. For SUMMER SLACKS -see - Columbia Tailors Incorporated 1128 Lady Street Columbia, S. C. Cornell Ar FLOWERS FOR E Corasee a Phone IWhen good get toge they wear a Indoors or out, when you_ relaxing, you're sure to h~otI are wearing MankaGUan SI shnple ss.a snap course. Me right, handsomely tailored; you just bate to take 'em ofi and shor# sleeves . ... in patterns all in the finest fatl could put on your back w)i Neelswer, udurese, Pal..ne., Beesear, Madden To Give Sunday Recital The department of music will present a program of sonatas for violin and piano featuring John Madden, violinist, and Jess Casey, pianist, in the university Chapel Sunday, March 2, at 4 p. m., Pro fessor Hugh P. Williamson, direc tor, announced. Madden is adjunct professor of violin and theory at the university and holds the bachelor's and mas ter's degrees in music from the Eastman School of Music at the University of Rochester. He was a violin pupil of Millard Taylor and was formerly assistant pro fessor of music at Kansas Wes leyan university. Casey is a member of the armed forces stationed at Fort Jackson where he is in the Eighth Division band. A classmate of Professor Madden's, he holds the.master's de gree in music from the Eastman School of Music and is on military leave from the faculty of Eastern Kentucky State college. The progrant consists of the Mozart Sonata in B flat, the Brahms A major Sonata, and the Sonata by -t h e contemporary American composer Aaron Cop land. The public is cordially in vited to attend the recital. FORMAL WEAR For Rent Wright-Johnston INCORPORATED Men's Clothing, Shoes, and FurnlshIngs 1330 Main Phone 2-4323 'ms Florist VERY OCCASION Sweeca.ky . ;-6801 fellows ther 'portshirts Me a crowd of campus biggies se that the really smart boys ortshirts. The reason is as ,shaUtan Sportshirts are style and ao darned comfortable .Moahatta has them in long wide variety of colorn ad rie. All are the sportist you en you want to take It eauyI Russell Sponsors Society Hlel ping Crippled Children Donald Russell, president-elect of the university, will be among 28 South Carolinians serving as the 1952 state sponsors for t h e Crippled Children Society of South Carolina, Inc. Headed by A. Lee M. Wiggins, Hartsville, these sponsors repre sent the educational, professional, industrial and business fields of the state. Charles W. Griffith, Manning, state president, an nounces that this is an outstanding group of sponsors and that the most extensive Easter Seal cam paign ever put on in South Caro lina is being planned. Through the help of state spon sors and the local county chapters of the society, it is expected that additional services may be ren dered to the handicapped persons who need assistance. COGBU R The Businessmen's Choice at A SATISFIEI 1317 Suo Campus In Always a sucker it brother went off the on the quick-trick ci his way'out when h< cigarette mildness ci Millions of smokers one ?rue test of ciga It's the aessaible tU Mildness Test, whici Camels as your steas pack-after-pack basii Once you've trl.gd C "T-Zone" (T for Thu youl see wby ... Fiction Contest Open To Women Undergraduates Women undergraduates are elig ible to enter the Mademoiselle Magazine College Fiction Contest. The two winners will receive $500 each for serial rights to their stories and publication in August, 1952. Other acceptable stories will be bought at Mademoiselle's regu lar rates. The stories must be from 3,000 to 6,000 words and must be typewritten, double-spaced on one side of a page only. The con testant's name, home address, col lege address and college year must be included. Stories that have appeared in un dergraduate college publications are acceptable if they have not been published elsewhere. Entries must be postmarked by midnight April 15. Say You Saw It in THE GAMECOCK I'S GRILL and College Boys' AU Thne. ./ ) CUSTOMER ter Street 1erviews on Ci No. 35.. SASS r attractive bait, our aquatic deep end and got caught garette hook! But he wormed suddenly realized that Ln't be tossed off reel lightly. have found, too, there's only rette mildness. sat-the 30-Day Camel i simply asks you to try ly smoke on a day-after-day, .No snap judgments! amels for 30 days in your oat, T for Taste), Ufter ili the Mildness Teai Number 5 REDDY ASKS: How Many Customers Use Electricity? In 1882, Edison's first central elec tric generating station served 59 cus tomers. Today, only 69 years later, more than 45.7 million residential, commercial, industrial and other users of electricity are served by the elec tric industry. Residential customers numbered more than 38 million as of May 1951, an increase of almost 2 million over the same month of the previous yea. LocaHy, your South Carolina Elec tric and Gas Company supplies elec tricity to a total of 127,629 custom ers in 23 counties of the state. Of these, 106,841 are residential cus tomers. According to U. S. Census figures, each home contains about four individuals, and many dwelling units, such as apartment buildings, are not classified separately as cus tomers, since service is received through one master meter. Thus some four times the nun& r of resi dential customers actually ea .q elac tricity in the home - more than half a million South Carolinians in the area this Company serves . . and ever 150 million Americans 1a aM. SOUTH CAROLINA ELECTRIC & GAS CO. rarette Tests I'm a sucker for a left hook!