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SRI By Margi EXCHAN4 "They brought me to; I fainted again." "Why?" "They brought me two more." -Pointer "Doctor: "I have bad newu for you. Your husband will never work again." Mrs.: "What's news about that?" -College Chronicle A woodpecker sat on a freshman's head, And settled down to drill. He pecked and pecked and pecked away And wore away his bill. -Johnsonian "There are four requisites to a good story," explained the English instructor to the class. "Brevity, a reference to religion, some as , sociation with royalty, and an il lustration of modesty. Now with these things in mind, I will give you 30 minutes to write a story." Twenty minutes later the hand of-little Willie went up. "That's fine, Willie," she com plimented, "and now read your story to the class." Willie read: "'My Gawd,' said the countess, 'take your hand off my knee.' " -Technology News Pilot: "Wanna fly?" Coed: "O-o-o-oh, very much." Pilot: "Wait, I'll catch you one." -Colorado Dodo Sweet Young Thing: "Ay, we've been waiting a long time for that mother. of mine." Impatient Young Man: "Hours, I should say." Sweet Young Thing: "Oh, dar ling, this is so sudden." -Oliver Beacon Famous last words:--"But sir, it wasn't my fault the bridge caved in. I thought that fly-speck was a decimal point." -Pointer The professor said that one time he was out fishing and having lit tle luck, when he saw a snake nearby with a frog in his mouth. On a hunch the prof. decided to use the frog for bait. He grabbed the snake, and tried to get the frog but the snake wouldn't let go. So he got a little whisky and poured it down the snake's mouth. The snake released the frog. The prof. baited his hook and returned to his fishing. A few minutes later he felt a nudge on his leg. Looking around he saw the snake with another frog in it's mouth. "Mirror, mirror, on the wall, am I the fairest of them all?" C-c-c-c-crash I! -College Chips The ostrich wispers in distress CENTRAL DRUG CO. OPEN 24 HOURS f5197-PHONES-5198 124MAIN STREET THE Ci Is YOU] SCHOOL JE~WELRY? SPORTSW P SODA FO1 E G9 erite Webb B BDITOR And takes it rather ill, That he, indeed, is killed to lres The g1i that's dressed to kilL --Johwonien . . . a. . I mixed up a letter to home With a Vassar-bound passionate poem; I addressed Pop as "Honey," And asked her for money From the dog-house no more will I roam. -Lampoon Papa bear: "Who's been drink ing my beer?" Mama bear: "Who's been drink ing my beer?" Baby bear: "Burpl" -Sewanhaka Varsity footballers were relax ing- in the post office at LSU: "My chick said she'd be faithful to the end," claimed one of the stars. "Sounds good, if you can believe her." Came the sorrowful reply, "Yeah, but I'm the quarterback." -Daily Reveille There are three menaces to safe driving in America today-Hic, Hike, Hug. -Columbia Hi-Life Lone chick taking a look around the electric incubator of unhatched eggs: "Well, looks as if I'll be an only child. Mother's blown a fusel" . -Newberry Indian Two boys were talking over the SUnday school lesson. "Do you believe all that busi ness about the devil?" one asked. "Heck no," replied the other boy, "iWs iike that Santa Claus stuff . . . it's just your old man." -Technology News One of the classic "pep-talksh stories is told on Michigan'- greaL football coach, "Hurry-Up" Yost, as well as being a brilliant stra tegist, was a firm believer in dressing room gratory. During half time of onA impor tant game, he pulled out all the stops in a fervent plea for vic tory. The players sat enthralled as Coach Yost poured it on. "Go out that door to victory," the fiery coached , screamed. So carried away was he that Yost pointed to the wrong door. The Michigan players, fired to a fever pitch, daahed headlong into the swimming pool, and on cumbered with heavy football gear, narrowly escaped drowning. -Niagara Index College-bred is a four-year loaf made with father's dough. A college cheer is a check from home. The honor System is an educa tional plan in which the teacher has the honor and the students have the system. -Appalachian "My wife would make a won. derful congresswoman." "What makes you think so ?" "She sure know how to intro. duce bills into the house." -Keesler News From a college freshman's his tory examination paper: "John of Are was Noah's wife." -Miss. Spectator iN TE EN Rs ... Je it SUPPLIES EA R LJNT AIN New members of Chi Circle, their recent banquet and initiati Berger, Columbia; Kenneth Bul member; and Dilvid A. Gaston, I Cowpens; Melton Kligman, Colun1 Florence; and Gray McCauley, Veterans Plannin; School Asked To Certificates Befor Veterans planning to go t Bill should begin now to mi garding their certificate of istration cautions. "A veteran already in sel Lends to continu his educal school should apply'as soon as po: sible for a supplemental Certif cate of Eligibility," a VA ai nouncement received at the un versity this week said. "If a ve eran is not presently in traininj but holds an unused Certificate < Eligibility issued before Sep.en ber 1, 1948, he should exchange for a new type certificate if I plans to enter school this summe "If a veteran who has no ce tificate of any kind intends to ej roll in summer school, he shoul apply fur one at hi neurest V office. He will be issued the ne type Certificate of Eligibilit when he meets necessary elig bility requirements. Applicatic forms for the certificate may I obtained from the registrar's o fice at their school or from an VA office." The VA also has explained thn veterans in receipt of regulr monthly payments for subsistent who withdraw'prior to the end < the certified period of enrollnmer will receive training status an For Rhythm an YES, MARTHA,. THE 30-DAY TEST CH ANGED ME TO CAME LS FOR KEEPS. FOR TASTE NQ MILONESS, ILL TAKE 1 A CAMEL EVERY TiME! Ni lew Members Of OD Omicron Delta Kappa, national honor Dn at the Wade Hampton Hotel. Firs Cameron; Bob Thoren, Elgin, Ill.; Ja 'hester, honorary member. Second row bia; Sidney Jones, Charleston; Jim Thi Lolumbia. See story below. (USC photo To Attend Summer Check Eligibility Enrollment Begins a summer school under the G.I. tke necessary arrangements re- e Aligibility, the Veterans Admin-!( a ool under the G.I. Bill who in- e ion this summer in a different t .-Isubsistence to the end of the .month in which the withdrawal, interruption or discontinuance oc t- curred. Such extension does not apply if the veteran has notified the VA t of the date'of his withdrawal prior it to his actual withdrawing from hi!, e education or training, the VA said. ( r. This piocedure does not modify 1 leave policy now in effect i. ca;e s of veterans who continu'- to thev . end of their scheduled periods of instruction. A list of' regulations for USC ak students that was published in 185:3 said that visiting grog or eating shops would bring either expulsion or suspension. r The University's honor system ( e was first adopted at the annual 'f meeting of the trustees in 1804. C t the year before the college was 1 d opened. i Romance... I F ANSWEF MLONESS ITS CAMI TASTE etba Tit.. takes a reess to talk h Diek Naynes, sepalar bheiwsd liepeoality. The rach aplek arneet as Camels. AA fraternity, are seen followin I row (left to right): Herbei mies Sumner. Law School facult (left to right): Oliver Littlejohl imas, ('olumbia; Julius Bagget by Tom Teal.) 9micron Deltt Kappa Install Yew Members David A. Gaston of Chester wo lected an honorary member c QK, and nine students were init ted as members, Thursday i ei emonies following a banquet i he Wade Hampton Hotel. Gaston was chief speaker at th innr. He spoke on leadershi "ith particular reference to th Jlumni Association. He is a formE resile t of t hn Si -ZQoi0tion anA raduate of the university. The nine students initiated int he national leadership fraternit -ere: Julius Baggett, Florence lerxrt Berger, Columbia; Ker eth Bull, Cameron: Sidney Jone: harleston; Melton Kligman Cc .11bia; Oliver Littlejohn, Cow ens; Gray NcCauley. Columbi, im Thomas. Columbia; and Bo horen, Elgin, Ill. James Sumner. ai member of th ,aw School faculty, was also initi ted. Ho was elected to ODK whil t the University of Virginia. Menibership in the fraternity i ased on the point system of thm rgainization. Mlen must have 10 oiints to lbe eligible. Gaston has been a representa ve to the state legislature f'ror hester Counity and is an out tanding miember of the Sout arolina bar. Hie is a member o le Aumnii Council and is activ' ihis support to the university l 01 in "I'll 0 OUND THE d TO CIGARETTE YEARS AGO, Dick. " ELS. AND THEY \4s\ ( 1 |$25,000 Is Campaign 'Y' Camp D4 Hinges On Further development of th( depends largely on the suppor raise $25,000, according to sl tion. Developments already co -hall, softball diamond, a care1 seedlings numbering 25,000. 'The camp is to be used ad meetings, for recreational pur Training Plan In Department Of State Given Prof. .1. E. Norwood, dean of the school of arts and sciences, announced Wedne'day that the Department of State is developing two intern programs and has ask ed the university to nomsainate three outstanding candidate.i for each program. The two programs include an internship with the Depattment -t of State which will begin in July of this year and run through Ju!y t .of 1950. The other is with the United Nations at Lake Success, New York, during the period be tween .Juily 11 and September 2, 19491. Both internships will provide assignments in professional and adiniiistrative work. Salaries will he paid those nominees for De partment of State internships and f an allowance for living expenses will be provided the U. N. interns. Qualifications set forth for nomination are: Candidates rust have completed four years of col lege study by June, 1949; they e must be American citizens; ability Pto speak and write effectively; ap e pearance, bearing and manner r which would enable the candidates Ito make favorable representation on behalf of the United States 0 Government. y Other pierequisites are: Major study or demonstrated interest in such subjects as history, eco nomics political science, interna tional relations. international law, - jtblic administration, public rela tions, journalism, foreign langu b ages, etc., and evidence of leader ship ability. e THE COLL 21 MEALS FOR AS LT Try our Minu - STEAK SAM I Remember April" (A CA"ITOL RECORDING) Martha Tilton invites romantic emories in this easy-paced -earn number! Martha picks er songs with care. And she's articular about her cigarettes, too! t's Camels for me!" says archa. "They're my cioice for wor--and Camels are so mild!" i a recent coast-to-coast test of 1' 'ho smofked only Camels for 30 >ecialists, making weekly examin NOT ONE SINGLE THROAT IRRITA due to smoking 4 page Three roal Pwelopment Fund Drive "Y" retreat on Percival Road ,t given to the current drive to okesmen for the "Y" associa mpleted are ten cabins, a mess :akers house, and planted pine a retreat for religious group poses, and possibly for orienta tion classes for freshmen. It is ten miles from Columbia and covers a 240-acre tract. General chairman of the fund raising campaign is Dr. L. Boyd Hamm, pastor of St. Paul's Lu theran Church. The campaign will not be repeated in the future. Plans envision a $10 000 club house at the waters edge. Funds for this construction as well as that of a chapel will be sought in the $26,000 goal set by the pres ent campaign. The land and all constructiuns to date are paid for. R. G. Bell. executive secretary of the "Y", is confident that the camp will bene fit each student using it and that as time passes and some money is gained the natural beauty of the camp will be enhanced. Magazine Sales "Y" members, 500 strong, plan to contact 10 prospects each to offer new and renewal subscrip tions to Saturday Evening Post, Ladies' Home Journal, Holiday, and 62 other widely accepted pub lications. Commissions to the "Y" camp fund run from 30 per cent to 50 per cent and united support of the program is expected to bring the "Y" several thousand dollars nearer its goal. Every student. "Y" member or not, who sells one or more sub scription will have his or her name placed in a "grab bag" from which will be drawn winners' names at the conclusion of the plan two weeks from now. For every 250 subscriptions sold a winner will be taken from the prize box and the lucky one will choose a Philco table model radio or a Bulova watch (boys' or girls' model). Sellers of only one order stand to win a valuable prize with their chance increased every time they sell an order. Bill Bray, student chairman of the "Y" camp project, is directing the drive. EGE SHOP LE AS $9.10 te Steaks-.60 [DWICH-.50 ITER ST. undreds of people days, noted throat ations, reported CASE OF -TION :AMELS