The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, January 07, 1949, Page Page Seven, Image 7
~DRI
By Marguae
EXCHANG]
She fell upon the icy pavement I
And a man who watched her I
whirls,
Said, "There you'll have to lie, my
dear;
I never pick up girls."
* C C
Microscopic lens doth show
Water teems with insects queer
What comfort it is to know
There are no wiggling things in
beer.
* o C
Scene: Cocktail party.
Host: "High ball or Martini?"
Guest: "Just straight ginger ale
will do."
Host: "Pale?"
Guest: '"No, Just a small glass
will suit me."
"Did any of your family ever
make a brilliant marriage?"
"Yes, my wife did."
0 0 0
I was standing on the bridge at
midnight,
The wind was full of air,
Someone took the bridge away
And left me standing there.
0 0 0
Patient: "Doctor, you remember
last Summer you recommended I
go out with girls to get my mind
off my business?"
Doctor: "Yes."
Patient: "Can you prescribe
something to get my mind back on
my business?"
A motorist approaching a vil
lage was surprised to see an elder
ly native running down the road
at full speed.
"What are you running for?" the
motorist Inquired.
"There's a wild beast show down
there, a lion's broke loose," was
the gasping reply.
"You don't mean it! Which way
did he go?"
Said the villager, "Well, you
don't suppose I'm chasing the durn
critter, do you?"
We got to wash the windows,
Mom - the neighbors are strain
ing their eyes."
There was a 'young lady named
Carol,
Who loved playing cards for ap
parel.
But her opponent's straight flush
Made the little girl blush
And 'Carol went home in a barrel.
I wish I was a wittle egg,
Away up in a twee,
I wish I was a wittle egg,
As wotten as can be,
And when some bone-headed
rite Webb S
I EDITOR
"rOf, would start to shout at me,
'd frow my wotten wittle self,
knd spatter down on he.
Drunk: (to splendidly uniformed
>ystander) "Shay, call me a cab,
will ya?"
Uniformed Bystander: "My good
nan, I am not the doorman; I am
k naval officer."
Drunk: "Awright, then call me
4 boat, I gotta get home."
0 0 0
'here was a man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket;
But his daughter named Nan
Ran away with a man,
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.
A famous college athlete, holder
of a dozen track records, was sent
to the hospital with a bad case of
the flu. A doctor took his tem
perature, shook his head doubtful
ly, and said, "Hm-m-m, looks
pretty bad. You're running a tem
perature of 108."
"Yeah?" said the athlete, sud
denly interested in his condition.
"What's the world's record?"
A city and a chorus girl
Are much alike, 'tis true;
A city's built with outskirts,
A chorus girl is too.
She this
is like
the her
kind at
of look
a you
girl makes
that
"Half the legislature ar(
croks1" ran a glaring headline.
A retraction in full was demand.
ed of the editor.
Next afternoon the headlin
read:
"Half the legislature are noi
crooks I"
Ons sensitive youth, his feelingi
wounded by what a professor wrot
on a paper he had turned in, wen4
in to. see what the prof. meant.
He breathed freely once morn
when he found out the barried
teacher had intended to write
"Good I" Next time, he promised
he wouldn't leave out one of the
Now I lay me down to sleep,
The lecture's dry, the subject's
deep.
If he should quit before I wake,
Give me a poke for goodness sakel
JANUARY M-.ff
FHT.
Good Graduate
Work Valutble
To.Any School
A graduate school is highly im
portant to the standing of any col
lege, according to Prof. Baskin
Wright, of the political science de
partment.
"The graduate school is the arm
of education that reaches all over
the country. It shows what is of
fered in research and higher stud
ie. If a college is to gain national
recognition, it must develop a
grade-A graduate school."
Prestige gained is immense
when such a step is taken, but it is
only one of the many benefits. Stu
dents are attracted from numerous
sections and bring a bzoader view
to the campus. Of great importance
is the betterment of the faculty,
Wright declared.
Research facilities are costly, but
lasting dividends more than repay
what is spent. Education cannot be
measured in dollars and cents. In
spite of that it is easy to see growth
and progress in a good graduate
school, the political science teacher
said.
States Need Aid
To Have Equal
College Set-Ups
Federal aid to education is high
ly desirable in order to equalize
educational opportunities, Prof. E.
Baskin Wright, of the political
science department said last week.
"Many states are putting forth
sustained efforts to provide for
their educational needs, but their
limited resources hold them down.
The best of which they are cap
able is not great enough to com
pete reasonably with the richer
states. Only through help from the
government can all states have an
equal chance."
It is unfair for a state to do its
utmost in financing schools and
still be on a level lower than others,
the political science teacher said. In
many cases the poorer states are
spending a far greater proportion
ate share of their incomes than the
results would indicate. Even in do
ing that they are hopelessly out
classed.
Everyone should have equal op
portunities to learn. If outside help
is necessary, it must be obtained.
ARTIST
(Continued from Page 2)
sota) consists of light tones of grey
blue with shadows done in dark
aqua and black. The wharves lead
to two outstanding warehouse
one brown, the other red.
"Rocks and Clouds" (Wisconsin)
picture two large rocks in red
brown, and black, meeting In an
arch. Large grey and pink clouds
in rock-like appearance are seen
through the arch.
John Rood's work is colorful as
well as interesting. His sculpture
leans towards the abstract and is
well balanced in form and contour.
6400.n Your DIal
WUSC Radio Log
intereelleglate Broadcasting
System
MONDAY THRU FRIDAY
7 :00-SIgn on
7 -MornIg Show
alONDAY -- WEDNESDAY -- FRIDAY
7 :00-SIgn On,. Interlude
7 :15Platter Part
7 :45-HIt Show For Today
8 :00-The Gerard Show
8 :15-The Oerard Show
8 :30-Hopcats' Holiday
8 :45-Hepeats' Holiday
9 :00-News and weather Report
9 :05-F1rlday only-nirIef Encounter
9 :0-reert on y) n. trand Wed.)
9 :30-Argosy Into Dreamland
9 :45-Argosy int D)reamland
10 :00--HlusIc to Study By
10 :30--News in Brief
10 :31-SIgn Off
P. T.UESDAY -- THURSDAY
I 1-Susigent Melodies
8 :00--ClassIal aMusi'cda
8 :15---Classicai Music
8 :30-ClassIeal Music
8 :45-TBA
9 :00-New. and weather Rept
9:15-Piano Music By Smoky Folder
9 :30--Piroudiy We Hali
9 :45-Proudly We Hall
I0:00--Musle to Studly Ily
10:l5-Music to Study By
10 :30-News, In Birlef
FRIDAY AND SATURDAY
12 p. m.-2 a. m. -Mldnite Jam Slam
7 :00-SIgn On, Interlude
7 :15-Vespers (to conclusion)
STUDENTS!
FACULTY!
FREE Wash Job
with
Each Grease Job
Every Monday
FIVE POINTS
PUROL
HENRY "Hank" REYNOLDS
Prnnrieo
BIRDS- i-VIEW
The Birds-I-View editor this
week graciously allows an abject
reader to unburden himself with
the following parody on university
life. Any similarity to any univer
sity is purely Incidental.
Dear Birds-I-View,
It's about time that someone be
sides the local "wheels" lets the
world know wiat he feels about
eonditions.
Chapter 1. (Entitled: "The Grab
Bag")
The service rendered by our cam
pus laundry consists of throwing
students' clothing into a whirlpool
and fishing them out at random.
The chances are that your pair of
pants will be creased in one of the
following ways:
1. The crease will make a com
plete turn around the leg, giving it
that dashing barber-pole look.
2. Five or six jagged ridges
wandering aimlessly.
Chapter 2. (Entitled: "The
Snake Pit")
Students who enter the Infirm
ary in the afternoon frequently
have to wait until late the next
morning before a doctor will see
them. (But then, that's one way
to ease the crowded dormitory situ
ation.) One student with a broken
finger was treated for a sprain. As
a result, the finger must be re
broken and set. And, if you have
a cold you still must ray one do
lar per day for three glasses of
orange juice and a pitcher of wa
ter, while other patients pay the
same for full meals.
As if this weren't bad enough,
dogs are allowed to run around in
side, and the rear of the bui%ding
resembles the Old Cat's Home. For
a treat instead of a treatment
visit the infirmary.
Chapter 8. (Entitled: "Head for
the Roundhouse, Dean, He Can't
Corner You There".)
Members of the Administration
moan complaints of a lack of co
operative spirit among the stu
dent. WhenAvAr RtudentA approach
a member of the administration
with a request, what sort of co
operation do they get? A song and
dance that would make Strauss and
his waltzes look sick, followed by a
suggestion that "you should see
Mr. Soandso". Even before the of
fice door has closed behind tho stu
dent there is a wild lunge for the
telephone with a warning to Mr.
Soandso to watch out-here comes
another one! Cooperation? Yeah,
like a booby trap.
Yours truly,
Allen J. Wiley
...choose yours earl:
to get the cream of 1
COTTFONS
SECOND LOOnR
SI
I Tear this section out, fill in
lobby. This survey is condue
body and will be compiled wil
I. Do you intend to remain it
versity?
. .......... ......Y es
Reason for leaving or stay:
12. In your opinion what field
state?
W h y ?7 ........................ .........
1. What phase of the life of
for bettering the position
' W h y ?7 .......................... ..........
DROP BALLOT I
Forensic Tourney
And Euphrosynean
To Be Held In Dr.
The Forensic Tournament
Hypatian literary societies wi
Drayton Hall according to Ire
university debating team.
A cup will be awarded to the i
society winning the tournament.
Judges will be members of the fac
Ulty.
Th6 iprogre.am Includes debating,
oratory, impromptu speaking, ex
temporaneous speaking, poetry
reading, and address reading
Refreshments will be served after
the contest.
.I o /t
IU1
()
In
ThI ainlFudto o n
filePrlss
crpsu
hecrp
'UDENT SURVEY
the blanks and drop In the ba
ed by THE GAMECOCK In ti
h results published in the nex
k South Carolina upon your
ng....
in South Carolina is most in
Industry
Government
Education
Agriculture
Other ........................
the university do you believ
of the university?
Student Activiti
Athletics
Administration
Faculty
Alumni Interest
Other
.N BOX IN POST.4
Between Hypatian
Literary Societies
iyton Hall Tonight
between Euphrosynean and
ill be held tonight at 7:30 in
ne Krugman, president of the
For Fraternity ani
Dance Programs, ]
See Troy
BALFOUR
Locatek
Todd's Sportir
Official
937 S.
U.S.C. CL
STORE HOURf
SATURDAY
Telepho
13 COLUMBAt re15
Page Seven
I
llot box in the pot office
te interest of the student
t issue.
graduation from the uni-I
No
...................................... ...............1
iportant in developing thel
I
should be improved first'
as Which?
I
VAN HEUSEN
SHIRTS
Wright-Johnston,
INC.
MEN'S CLOTHING
FORMAL DRESS FOR RENT
Phone 2-4223 130 Main St.
I Sorority Jewelry
P'avors, Stationery
Newman
JEWELERS
I With
g Goods Store
Jeweler
Main
ASS RINGS
1-2 to 6 P. M.
-9 to 1 P.JM.
e 6918
elLs