The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, April 01, 1947, The Chicken Sheet, Image 6
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h Tangles
,rer- Soon
Gives Cherce
[f Weepons
It was announced, today that
3i11 Routh, Carolina's champion
>f justice and cusser-outer of
slanderers, will duel the writer of
;he "Carolina Clodhoppers" ar
.icle in rebuke of same at an
aarly date. The author that sign
ad "Radcliffe College", to his ar
.icle will face "Ravin' and Rant
in'" Routh before a sellout crowd
of 19, including the press, some
older, in the Shanghai Coliseum
soon.
The location was picked because
of its neutral position and the
fact that the Washingtonian may
not be able to raise carfare for
the trip. In the event he does,
Routh probably won't be able to
make it.
"Ah will give him his cherce
of weepons," declares "B'attling
Bill," who is priming for the clash
by getting up before noon, taking
alcohol rubdowns . internally, and
flexing his muscle on dates. "If
he's leetle, we'll use baseball bats,
and if he's big, we'll use sling
shots," says Brave Bill, the local
Claghorn. "And if he's a she, ah
prefers wrestling!"
"Dogpatch style!!"
The rivalry began when the
Radcliffe College "Damyankee"
called South Carolina Women "in
sipid." "Ah looked it up in a dick
shunary," claims Routh, "which
said it means 'flat.' And if there's
one thing our girls ain't, it's
'flat'!!! "
The most recent blow to our
hero's Southern pride was another
article stating South Carolinians
are "Clunkheads." To which the
"Protector" shouts, "If my head
looks like a 'Clunk', I'll eat it!
where's my hamhock? If there's
anything ah cain't stand, it's a
one-course meal!"
Routh has stated that his sec
ond for the duel will be "Old
Granddad." "When he's around, I
always ask for seconds. I'd like to
make him my fiftieth too, if the
dool lasts thet long. Or I do."
Tickets for the great conflict
are being sold by Bill Routh, and
all proceeds will go to his second.
"A worthy cause ef ah ever seed
one," says you know who.
1.s1 f?
e sseno;o Aq patep s lu eq
siewsset ;o syupuq t-y o
~ onsiqu o alsd
Compliment.
ef
Columbia Hot
At The Regular ]
Of Student Couu
Yesterday, A Co
Appointed To Ri
At the regular meeting
dent Council yesterday, a
tee was appointed to re'
student constitution in tl
ten years.
The committee is schec
meet every five days and
in constant touch with
from where orders will be
daily. It was also announi
Mohandas Ghandi woulc
with the student group.
Council voted unanimo
band the wearing of zoot
the main campus. Studei
be required to remove 9
ticles before crossing tt
campus, and for the char
eral temporary buildings
established at various poii
action was taken in accor<
petition signed by Bened
lege students and the o4
of Sims.
After a hot debate,
voted six to five to req
students to take on
courses twice before gri
The original resolution c
a legislative act requiu
alumni to register for the
but the compromise was
after Rep. Sol Blatt, me
the Board of Trustees, i
at the meeting.
Blatt said that for the
establishing the courses
Carolina graduates, the ui
could obtain six hundred
ary buildings.
FOR
IN(
Sa
(A Prod
Se'
TE
(ig puq U
JOAIWIA!f ~UU
- V. B. Does It Again
R-K-O Radio Studios announced
yesterday that after a three-year
search they had found the lead
ing man for their production of
"The Egg and I"-Vernon Sloan.
Louis B. Warner, director of
ncil photography at the bankrupt
studio, said that production would
in. begin immediately on the Carolina
wise campus. All equipment is sched
uled to arrive by nooit tomorrow
of Stu- aboard the battleship "Missouri"
commit- which will tie up at the Congaree
ise the wharf.
ie next Sites selected on the campus
for the filming of the 600 hun
luled to dred million dollar production, in
is to be clude the Natatorium for all
Moscow, scenes on the Mediterranean.
received Warner announced that Prof. Al
ed that bert Einstein had come to the
I serve relative conclusion that the water
in the pool contained the same
usly to amount of hydrogen as that of
suits on the famed sea.
its will Salvador Dali released a state
uch ar- ment to Divided Press in which
e main he said that it was his opinion
ige sev- that the pea-green color was the
will be- nearest to that of the Mediter
its. This ranean to be found on the face of 1
l with a the world.
ict Col- Warner, in commenting on the
:cupants virtues of his new Valentino, said:
"Sloan has the box-office appeal
Council of Lassie, the dramatic ability of
uire all the Three Stooges, and a combina
entation tion of the facial expressions of
duation. Pluto,' Greta Garbo, and Virginia
lIed for O'Brien."
ing all Sloan made no comment con
course, cerning his belated fame other
reached than to point his long, tapering,
mber of lily-white finger to the onyx stone
ippeared in the ring on his left hand and
cryptically shout: "On the set,
cost of Warner boy, on the set."
for the
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THE BEST
E CREAM
try
encken's
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'ved on the campus
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IUU
Legislature
Many Dool
BurpExclaii
Maids, Bars, Fas
(Urp
Included In Coul
(Bur
The Legislature of the State of
South Carolina announced late
ast week that 50 millions of dol
ars will be alloted to the Uni
ersity of South Carolina for a
;erious expansion program.
Legislator Q. Sheeley Burp,
from the 198% district made the
ioyous proclamation to the world
mnd he said, when approached by
your reporter, "ah-h-h, Burp . .."
[n a later interview an authori
tative spokesman said that many
provisions would be carried with
the bill. To mention a few: All
bars in the city would be author
ized to sell liquor to all university
atoodents and members of the fac
ulty, by merely presenting their
athletic cards; every night club
in the burg of Columbia, will be
pen as long as there is one Caro
lina stooodent in same; the wom
en's dormitories will be open at
all times, enabling the "young
CHILDS ARRESTED
(Continued 1)
was revealed at a press conference
today when Police Chief Camp
bell related the following tale for
publication:
"Last night we received a call
from a nearby respectable estab
lishment known as the "Bloody
Bucket", and the need for immedi
ate investigation brought our alert
police force to the scene in two
hours. As we strolled through the
front door things seemed rather
peaceful so we took a seat and
ordered a couple of short beers.
Everything was quiet except for
some nut who was dancing around
the place on his toes singing "In
dian Love Call" at the top of his
voice. All of a sudden some dame
lets out with a wild "yippeeee"
as she swings to the ceiling from
which she proceeds to hang from
her toes while waving a bottle of
White Lightning and calling on
the nearby music combination to
hit up a tune. Curiosity brought
us to ask a few drunks who
weren't paying too much atten
tion, what the lovely gal's name
was. 'Oh her,' came the reply,
'That's just some bird by the name
of Childs from the local univer
sity . . . letti'n off a little steam
after a hard week at the salt
mines.'
Anyway this character Jackson
didn't seem to care too much for
his company's conduct so he began
to chase her. Around and around
they went; hopping from one table
to the other yelling 'BEAT HELL
OUT OF CLEMSON'! This wasn't
so bad, but it seems this dame
Pender tried to get in on the show.
When the two raving maniacs
happened over to the bar on their
(Are you keeping up
with us?)
S2A SSalatWO
SShee
uo-d S
Rules
s To Fools
us, Ah,Burp'
hion Shops All
De Grace
I!! )
things" (and here the House, and
Senate all sighed at the count of
three) to stay out as late as they
so desired; and lastly, each Greek
Letter Fraternity on the campus
will be allowed the use of one of
the major (?) hotels as their
house for the period of one year.
The bill has many other items
of note that were impossible to
catch at the time. It is interesting
to imagine the results of such a
bill as this. The citizens of the
state are all heartily for the meas
ure and all gave the Governor
their unamimous vote of confi
dence. J. Hogjowls Collards,
staunch patriot of Greens county,
stated that (and we will qu-ote),
"Why come there bin so much
cuttin' the foo, 'bout this bill? Ah
don't see where we can go wrong
iff'n them book larnin' chillin' gets
jest what they want. When they's
old nuf to go to coll-itch, they's
old nuff to know their own min."
Mr. Collards has a very attractive
daughter in the University at this
time.
The campus will be completely
renovated during the summer.
Special architects will be flown
in, with their entire crews of con
tactors and laborers, via a popu
lar airline (that's hasn't had a
serious crash in the last three
weeks) to take over the project.
Next fall an entire set of new
buildings will greet the returning
Gamecocks. Each dorm, made of
the most modern and "zooty" ma
terials will have such features as:
carpeted hallways, maid service,
bars at the end of each man's
hail, beauty parlors, free for the
women, at the extreme end of each
hail, Sak's Fifth Avenue, Peck and
Peck plus many other fashionable
women's shops will be represented
in each dorm and prices will be
slashed to a minimum and finally
popular "name" bands will go on
the air three times a day.
Classes will be kept at the same
par, but students will be allowed
500 cuts in each subject per half
term.
The bill will go into effect im
mediately.
The codine, please Gloria!!!
1427 MAIN ST.
H 8snlOH 0.L
Juvember U-ta-ta, 19??
uoIos