University of South Carolina Libraries
GRIDSTER SPORT SQUIRTS By P. P. SQUIDGEBOTTOM Bull shooting has been declared the most popular sport at Carolina according to the recent survey of students conducted by the Trot- (not to be confused with Gallup) poll of the Bu reau of Not-So-Vital Statistics. Algernon A. Amberzombie, head, foot, and for that matter, the whole Bureau, said that out of 2,001 people enrolled at Carolina, 2,000 could be classified as lovers of this sport which originated when man learned to talk to women and the one left could be classified as never staying in his room. "Both boys and girls participate in this international sport and with prac tice girls have been known to excel the boys," Mr. Amber zombie finished his little say. The most popular form of bull shooting is what is scien tifically termed as sitting-bull. This involves two or more peo ple squatting on a campus bench or slumping in a canteen booth. One is known as the bull-shooter and the other is perhaps just known. The bull-shooter with varying skill "chews the rag" or "gives with the scuttlebutt' and the victims take what is said with a grain of salt or as the Romans say, "Cum grano salis." Running a close second to bull-shooting is another form of shooting . . . (rap shooting. This sport is, according to un * reliable figures, restricted to the male students. Standard equip ment for this sport is a duo of plastic, hone, ivory. or what have you cubes known as African dominoes or Mississippi marbles. Grasping the bones firmly in one hand, and shaking this hand vigorously while rotating the pitching arm with ever increas ing rapidity, the player utters low pleadings to Lady Luck and tie (lice to "Come to papa" and "Seven, dice." When the proper mroment comes, the (lice are dashed bodily with tremendous force against the lower part of a wall much as one would send at bowling ball on its way to a strike. The thrower, or roller. 'ontinues to chant "Sevendice, sevendice, sevendice" until after an eternal, breathless moient, the dice stop spinning and some one shouts, "Eleven, you erap out and they're my dice !" SIIOIT SQUIRT ON SWIMMIN(; Swiuming is fast becoming ia ioreI ppIular sport as the weather gets hotter and everyone is trying to find something cool Iesides i cclke or ia short Ibeer. Maun v students are gralbbing their suits and dashing over to the swimnuning pool. They dash into the dressing ruoom and lasl out, to the edge of the pool. hlecn they (11111 over to the diving hoard, dash out to the enid in quite a dashinlg imnner, bu t here, m,V friend is where our little stor"y ends for according to the count of a diacalculntis mI,oplhrenouilter, anIi accurate mathem atical mechinism, out of the -f:; peo ile who (lashed out of their rooms, dashed over to the Natutoriun, dashed into the dressing room, dashed out of * the dressing roon to the water, dashed to the diving board, daushled to thle end of tile plamnk. only one act ually' kept his nerve and hit the water. Accor'ding to scuttlebutt, this~ person trippedl on .Jinuny Ratfill's big toe. To thiose whlose divinig forim is strictly niot so hot, we dedi cate thlis p)oeml my Peter Stack of Esquire fame: My d1ivinig formi is terrible. I spdls and1( cr'ashm anid bounce, But judginig b)y each fer'vent sigh, it's niot TJIIAT1 for'm that counts! The State Co. Risking Ruining Employee's Morale BY PRINTING THE CHASTE CHICKEN AND THE FOUL FOWL SGGC Bec On .he right we have on amazing bit o anyways . . . hmmmm, females-in bathing Diving Damsels To Come Here On Saturday evening the L ni versity Natatorium will attract thousands to within its portal;. .1. WorthingtIn \\'hirlpool. the guy who taught Tarzan how it was done is appearing with a chioru, of :,0 delallidated diving damlsel'. Damsels meaning they're the pre historic mnodel. The attractioin is being promoited by the Carolina Splash-and-Kick Club, whose m1otocis "\ '.-hlub blub-blub. Whirlpool will present a galaxy of tricks including the world fa mous bellybust from the high tower. The last tine he performed tli:., feat he suffered--and how. J3ut Co lumbia water is soft, and the man agenient is throwing in soie Ivor y flakes so that he won't get dilhi-pan tummvmy. D)on't miss this attraction ii vo'aI can help it. .\nd if y iitu can't help it, mliss it, w%c don't care. If you wish to learn to paint, or if you wish to learn to be accurate, take a course tider Miss May Chis well Marshall. Del Just the place SWEA SLACKS AND S. A. E. HOU: SILK HOS 98 Del Alway~ SANCKEN'S * SOLD AT 'I MANUFACT RICH LAN I )ING And The Clom Feminine pulchritude and on the left suits ... hmmmm!-(Another Chaste Dooley Delay Conse The Aid Of A Deple Flash's Specialty Is 100-Yd. Dash-We Think "I)tolh I'' )D lax ha, :tnmtann< td at last, that lie will letinitc h. tl witht ut a .tin " d. tt t hlpt'' (It hle detpletedl track tca;tn thi, c;t,()n. l li specialty it ththe. 4in ,ar( ais iich he stin tlilt a In thirty s"cond,. I could ;i i t t conhe in't i n. l c itt - lamb eat iv.. Doc - Iotde. No'. le is conte"nt jutt tt sit forl hu rtt' int train with a bottle in one h;nd. d at co-ttd i the other. Ihb Ibt Lle? Oh, it muerely contains watter -he's illergie to milk and that other stuff. too. Dooley begin, hit, tr;tiungt cachi lay at the crack ttf hi, back by Sitting up inl hced, taking hit: dlaily ,ettintg utp exerci.e-, and1 (tr tl1op ting back to the -uft pillttn andI the hr'cs of \lorphen-, un111 til 1 te uh< le dlr;gs himnself intot thet r;titcen (the den-I of iniytuit.\ ) andl park, him.t ,elf behindl thet pioc .lt tf-r the rc naindecr 4f thle da.. Of cour-e, I.)t e..Ict thec reater part of hi< .4etal he manl ...rt ufter datrk!.! At tw , t.e ru-hb mtadl% t. hli- bedlro ni :inn -hall wt FERS! SHORTS FOR SE PARTIES! E SALE!! k's Eat ICE CREAM 'HE CANTEEN tRE0 BY DAIRIES SGRE. ns hmmmm, who wants to look ot the left hicken Good News Photo). nts To Come To ted Track Team ;1\ -- hit ItI racl : . . anll i It LI I r'. ;l. I:ti1 11 :1>;:111: t I tI off tal i .i :hnd ae I t-iutt t t a l \\ i dI i tl1'I - . "t I Iu 'a a t a I Ic I l ' ', :nnIn:: cu:I t. rt \t ;IitI I. e t u ti , it. The ttt C;a itn:n a \ ittical ;\s-oui;t d Par e li t IhI it. t \ytl notl:nly In;t )nh;al ";P i:sat" ;I hitl" I.et \\'Ith l1i1l1. II.I\\V t'er, ti s - t I i' IIt 1h-m! c I r. c : :ri ! c d t r i "FrItlii ntu m u ne' t sh, ubI hear \t In;any iII,y , \\h h1L)Ie.\ t htcni here at C;arolin.t. getting their \Vigs I.. \\ h;snatnt ha: annoulncedi. Pretty for the Pin-up Gal VOTE FOR KAT JENNINGS PAID ADVERTISEMENT' V-12 Boys Are MVayo's Style Hea FOR ALL GOOD Col. Jaci A T C Bowling Pins Lead Hard Life Editor's Note-This week we present a guest columnist with a big story on bowling. Shoot the copy to us, Sloppy. Howdy, Mr. GI Joe College, and the Misses too. I'll be back in a dash with the cash, 'cause this is the pay-off, an' how. It was announced yesterday Prof. Rock Smith, of the University of South Carolina Geology Depart ment will head the bowling team this season. It seemts that he doesn't pas-uh, usually fail---uh. likes to flun-- Well, he gets a big kick out of busting things, so-o-o-o the pink down at the howling alley are wait ing i',r him to lust then up. TI he poor devils can't even fight back We got wind of ti, situation. and sent down to view the case. Our star reporter. J lerni.a 1'. Deadline interview ed the vi tionis in the alley. at which time tihey told him. quote: "It's a h-of a life!! I1ow would you like to stand here like another Mortimer Snerd and let sote over stuffed old bar fly to, cainon halls at you all night. It's surprisin' how muci hu sines the 1lC coinpaty doe- ofTa u, every mvrh} t Flash! Coach "Corporal". DeMars revealed today the startling news that due to unforeseen circumstances physical educa tion for men will be suspended for the remainder of the se mester, but that those men (?) registered for this course will be required to substitute three hours of pool shooting. can teenology, or just plain loafing per week. "If this unforeseen circumstance can not be eradi cated by the beginning of the summer semester," continued the corpulent corporal of calis thenics, "it may be necessary to abolish this physical torture for the duration of the abolish ment." Our precious play clothes will aw 'em in Brief Shorts, obbre ted skirted Play Suits. Kohn 's VOTE FOR PR ilE CRAIG I PAID ADVERTISEMENT - Welcome At o.P.o. dquarters LOOKING MEN c Griner iUNS Birds Beat Bell; Begin Bonecrushing "Carolina w ill I a % a foot hall teat, anid a good ton at that," at nounced the Co>tninittee oni Athlctics at a recent meeting. "We expect to have a team mnade entirely" of ti vilians." continued the eot,iniitt I . TenemetIs 1'J and :20 have bIt en declared Athletic liuildings and the occupants of those dormitorie. u ill be forced to go h:otrne. :reshtinn and sophomore football Ilayers will unm11 edliately mo2Cve in)to the builditng. Mrc. I lankin. of the English Departin ent. u% ill see that the 1ots get their i oper vitamins. A sep. arate dining hail f,r the players t ill he established in the old Ii brary :aid .\lrs. 1lawkins will have ir office in 'iccmnent 'O. She will he cneratl upcrvisor of the din in;- h,.il, inaid for the bos. and bIus m<lt -- i2:al4.4 "er (: tie tean . Coach 1).Lar wt ill start prac tice ininiedi;atit . It has been de cided that io.N s weighing irom 110 1:;o will make up the teatm. "With special food and general workouts et tervday, we should have one of the leading teatns of the South," Coach DcMar has announced. The g:anie, chedule i; as follows: NovetmI ier 1t--Columbia High H hre. Nofclt1)r -n<d- Lni%er!ity of Oio-therI November .t-l' nit cr-ity of .ondon- there. Novembec r 6h-)reher High there \ovemb ler ::uth- f~n:ver::ity" .f )ecembe r I.t--litadcl CL,lltegc there. I)celibe: Inthi-Clen: jt-tilei e. Delber 11tht-North Carolina -there. ,Ina .! f;-Ros 2u!, Pa - \ Gret l:ound hl- and a l l} it' Fortiu- ha- he. i-.igl:t for th' foo' 4tball It ,t" c i i ' T .t (>f'\ tt ii, " i f t , : :i , t : i~t t . 1 h" an u t ;a rat n 4a,2214- t.1 ,)t t" li t :.2 I ".U J.-. I I. L I I IU .\ttIK.\l2, I) \ Faculty Cage Tourney Starts I cn i ,.' . I, . -. 1 h t. .i niet u en the 1, V..n .c pa t nu t cua 21 -. m 201 hat pro1h/a e 2e batlies. I: ,e2 rt ,tn. T i til ( O t etean of theco t ''4'a De'2 who w22 .X a b: ili iint sta4r for2 oic Siwash 212 '1, i, 'wel eInembe1CYtred iort hi.s yil brealk2ng ahme'.4 the tin and24 chant24 (If theC ..pectatocrs to.. tithler te:2422 l.chinled211 to mteet mt the tou2rn2ey are the4 S:mts Simpijle.. ton42 '.er' ts thle \'.wv froml \Vade I latttn,42 the Rtigged Rutledge C'olleg ians '.eirsus the4 Nuts frlom New 1.ibIrar\ , thle I>cer,asaure De-. men42''c serI- th24 l'etigru4 l'etigr ecs. Boxing Question Wanted--A Tenant Jerry and Allan Sindler would like to sublet box 1323. It's still as good as new hardly been used. We feel that we have in vested our respective quarters unwisely, and wish to gain a compensation in this maneuver. Anyone wishing to sublet this box will find the terms very reasonable and can expect un disturbed use of said box-pro vided he cleans out the dust that is already there. What do you mean, this hias nothing to do with sports. It's ads like this that keep the edi tors in soda's and sips. 4