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Press Rate Collect By George Zuckerman WHAT IS TIME? (or Who is Sylvia?): a play with no axe to grind. (As the curtains sorrowfully part on this sorry play, we see an outdoor scene of the Carolina campus in the year 2440 A. D. Standing in front of the library, constructed five centuries earlier, are several students clad in stratesphere suits, leaning against their red (or is it garnet?) rocket ships). Buck Rogers: Hey, fellers, I hear they're going to open the corner stone today and find out what they buried in it five hundred years ago. Joe Doak: They say there's a copy of The Gamecock entombed there. By the way, is the 11 o'clock edition of the paper out yet? Mary Mixup: No, we'll have to wait two minutes to read the latest Musclin' In. . . . you know every hour on the hour. Buck Rogers (who is captain of the football team, by the by): I wonder what kind of a football system they used way back then? Joe Doak: I don't know. I heard once or read somewhere they used some sort of Latin system . . . Notre Dame . . . thinks it means our lady or something. Mary Mixup (tittering): You mean they played like a lot of old ladies? Rogers: No, stupid . . . say listen, why don't you scram . . . why don't you talce a trip to the moon? . Mixup: Can't . . . because the dean says we've got to be in by 11 o'clock. Rogers: Can't wait until our new grid coach gets here. Doak: They say he's got the stuff. Rogers: Yeah, he uses the Solar system, and I hear lie's bringing in a great halfback from Mars . . . a fellow named Orson Welles. Doak: He'll have to be good. They tell me Clemson is getting Flash Gordon. Mixup: I heard in the canteen the other day that the reason we lost the Saturn Bowl, last season was because Saturn University used a lot of ringers. Rogers (who wasn't listening): Say Doak, let's cut the next class and go to Moscow for a glass of vodka. Doak: No, you can't break training like that. Besides I want to see what that old Gamecock looks like. (Suddenly the three of them petrified with the kind of terror that usually means you'll have to wait until next week to find out what's scaring the hell out of them. However, you won't have to wait because maybe there won't be a Gamecock next week. . . And anyway a fellow in a loud tweed suit draws onl the scene smoking a stale five cent cigar). Rogers (who once read a hillbilly story): What's your business, stranger? The Stranger: Say, what's going on, Buck Rogers? Rogers (frightened as only Buck Rogers could be): How did you know my name? The Stranger: Just say I saw you in the funny papers and let it go at that. Doak: Man, you look like you stepped out of the dark corridors of time, like you were from the twentieth century, from the Jitterbug Age. Mixup: Say, stanger, do you shag? Rogers (boldly): Who are you? The Stranger: I don't remember . . . you tell me. . .. All I know is I sat through "Gone With The Wind" twice and here I am. (Confusion reigns and Buck Rogers and his friends, to get away from it all, enter his rocket ship, and go off to a high school reunion in Venus. As they fly higher and farther into the firmaments the curtains come happily together and the audience ponders about the real ending asbestos it can. THE END -Gressette -Carolina Budget (CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1) (CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1) elected assistant coach at The wsfrfrihnsfrteoddr Citadel where he served in this ca-mioes pacity for a year. After his year of Adion to hefclywr apprenticeship he became headaseanmoyto etthead coach at The Citadel, a position hedionbeasoftegatncae held until last month when he re- o noleti h atfwyas signed after a trying year. Wt h prpito u si a When asked about his new posi- be,nn fteeipoeet tion Tatum said, "I'm enthuiastic cnb ae sol h sa about my new position at the Uni-amutfroetigxpnshs versity of South Carolina because be loe ytelgsaue it's like coming home." Gressette Suet a eiindtelgs also made it known that lhe is per- ltr ywiigadproal fectly satisfied wvith a job outside ikI4jIC rpenttvsta 'of the coaching scope and that heprritmoefrthcaelTe was definitely through with coach-stdn,whc islstanoe mog. fut h tdn oy omn Gressette said that the set-tup was to,wasee,wsmd fti at present going on slowly but rqet later when organization was more complete, work could be carried on Poe96 iePit with greater efficiency.L.R Bek a s Commuting, at present, between Columbia and St. Matthews, Gres-SERVICE STAT10N sette hopes to move his family to Yu otCnein thecaptalciy i thnarAutue.TEIons DotefacLty er asedad oeytImeNteeEd PromptrDlivmrytPhn e 8t1ewyers Wih h apopitin u a/t a ben,noe f hee mpovmet Phone Service To Be. Better Telephone service at the Univer sity of South Carolina will be "much better" according to sources reliably informed, when an investi gation, now underway, is completed. The Southern Bell Telephone Com pany is cooperating with the Uni versity in the investigation. According to the statistics of the telephone company, the University of South Carolina telephone ex change is the busiest in Columbia. Eleven years ago the exchange started with 40 phones and five out side lines. Today we have 80 phones and 11 outside lines. On an "off-day" recently the calls were counted. Every hour from 9 p. m. to 3 p. m. 168 calls an hour were recorded. The busiest hours were from 3-5 p. m. and frdm 6-8 p. m. when 350 calls an hour were recorded. During registration the exchange was so busy they were unable to handle the calls, and an estimation of the number was impossible. -Registration (CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1) if not the greatest, in the his tory of Carolina. The main reason for this con gestion is the increasing size of the Carolina student body. When "Bobo" Elmgren paid his "ninety bucks" it marked a new era in the student body because he became the two-thousandth student to enter the University. This is the largest attendance ever compiled here. With the student body rapid ly outgrowing the faculty it was necessary for students to gain special permission to enter cer tain classes, or for new sections to be formed. In several in stances classes in many sub jects were closed late during the first day of registration and no late arrivals were allowed to enter. With the attendance mark now on the upgrade students can look forward to the annual "registration rush" and be pre pared to meet the occasion in suitable outfits even if King Arthur's costumes have to be dug up. -Electrocution (CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1) of course jumped at the shock. Professor Mercer said that the machine stored negative charges within the boy's body. When he came into contact with a positively charged object a flash of small lightning result ed as the two charges neutra lized each other.. The Student Union and Simnms lobbies have thick wool rugs on the floors. When any one rubs his feet over the rug, charges of static electricity are stored in his body. Of course if he touches some one who is not so charged, a streak of miniature lightning and a small shock occur. F A "AFTER THE GAl\ VAR GRJ STEAKS-FR: Home Made Martha Washi Phone 2.2321 Boxing Tourney Comes To City Is Held Here For Second Successive Year The Southern Conference Box ing Tournament is a high sounding name or title that puts any boxer Df the Birds slugging ranks on edge. For the second consecutive year this tournament has been awarded to the city of Columbia with the Gamecocks as hosts. Out of last years finis for all box ers in the Southern Conference, the Gamecocks emerged in third place with a total of 13 points. Three of the boxers representing the University of South Carolina slugged their way to the final round. Out of this two boxers, Bob Mc Crady, 127 pound man, and "Snag" Legare, 145 pounder, emerged vic tor. Jerry Hughes lost a close one to Cronin of Maryland. -University Players (CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1) way." The authors are both top ranking writers, and are universally known. Kaufman is co-author of "The Man Who Came To Supper" -which is, strangely enough, about Woollcott. The latter is popularly known as -"The Town Crier," and as such has been featured on many radio programs. Workshop Established Besides their work on "Dark Tower," the Players are also busy on other projects. They have es tablished a workshop in the base ment of Davis College, and are op erating it regularly. Here scenery and properties of various sorts are made by the members, and instruc tion is given in make-up, costume designing, scenery construction, and all phases of theatrical production. Professor Christophersen conducts some of the work, and is assisted by some of the students who have had some previous training. The instruction is particularly beneficial since no courses in dramatics are offered in the curriculum of the University. A weekly radio program is anoth er feature of their work. For some time they have been giving fifteen minute dramatizations of the short stories of Guy de Mapassant over station WIS, on Sunday afternoons at 5 o'clock. Last Sunday the pro duction was the famous "Diamond Necklace." The cast included Emily Wolfe, Bob Quinn, Mary Crow, and several others. This Sunday a different type of play will be heard. It is to be a take-off on a very well-known radio serial. The cast has not as yet been announced. SANCKEN'S ICE CREAM A L W AY S Manufaatured By Richiand Dairies Columbia, 8. 0. S T IE MEET ME AT" SIT [L L [ED CHICKEN Ice Cream ngton Candies 2706 Main St Field House Will Soon Have New Heating Plant The University of South Caro lina's field-house recently acquired a new topper. The roof for the field house was recently renovated, ac cording to W. F. Taylor, Jr., at a :ost of about $1,000. The field house very badly needed this new roof for the old roof leaked and'was rotting away very fast. The spectators at the conference will also be able to enjoy the new heating plant to be installed at a very near date. -Governor Rivers (CONTINUED FROM PA&SE 1) Purpose of Group The Forum was organized last spring as a non-political organiza tion for the purpose of interesting University students in local and niational affairs and politics and to secure speakers in all fields of en deavor. It is a purpose of the group also, iccording to Baker, to instill in Car olina students a desire and appreci ation of the finer arts. Last year the Forum brought Josh Lee, senator from Oklahoma, here to speak. You can loot find another c NATION of the In Chesterf looks for... c one thing thal uEM/4E ASK FOR Copy,righ 1940, Baker Installed At Euph Party; Hogan Takes Office At Clarlo Lee Baker was inaugurated as Lang Hogan, newly elected pres. president of the Euphradian Lit- ident, made his inaugural address erary Society Tuesday night, being Tuesday night, at the first meeting sworn in by retiring president of the Clariosophic of the secon4 Stokes Davis. The ceremony pre- semester. ceded a big reception for the mem- Other new officers installed were bership and visitors to start the Anthony Smoak, vice-president; second semester. Harold Brazzeale, secretary; Bob, In his inaugural address Baker Griffith, treasurer; Clarence Glover, went back and traced the history of sergeant; and Paul Holscher, critic. the society and the objectives for The Clariosophic will hold a re which it had been founded. He ception next week for all students stated he hoped the society would who are interested in a literary so. continue enjoying the success it ciety. had under Stokes Davis, outgoing president, who was highly praised. Other new officers will be given ECONOMY the oath of office next meeting. These are Felix Green, vice-presi- DRUG STORE dent, Dan Hollis, secretary, Chris Green, treasurer, Cleatus Brazzell, Motorcycle Delivery financial secretary, Bill Rhodes, OUT RATE DRUGS 'critic, and Lionelle Wells, reporter. Next week the society will dis- SODAS AND cuss birth control. Miles McCor- LUNCHEONETTE mick and Frank Jordan will lead Pive Points Phone 8119 the two opposing sides. semestr. ' tthe whole world over and you won't igarette with Chesterfield's RIGHT COMBI best American and Turkish tobaccos. ied you find just what every smoker 310L SMOKING, definite MILDNESS, and the really satisfies*..downright GOOD TASTE. 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