The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, April 01, 1939, Page PAGE TOO, Image 2
T'
Next Edition
Bok ToBe
That Is, Jokes V
Also Fine Picture
The next issue of the Carolin
mentous announcement was i&
Editor of the campus joke booh
A brand new page, devoted en-<
tirely to pointless jokes, will be one
of the main features of the next is
sue, Millsaps said. Heretofore, all
of the jokes have had points.
Another interesting picture, this
time of, the little-known Maxcey
monument, and a steel engraving
of President Maxcey, will also
grace the pages of the Carolinian.
Millsaps said that there had been
a demand for some such feature
among the students, and that; for
once, ie was setting aside the
ideals of literature and the arts to
give the public what it wants.
Another special feature will be a
review of some of the new books
available at the library. Among
the books reviewed will be "A
Commentary on the Sermons of
the Reverend Titus Aromanus J.
Philemon, 1732", and "Some As
pects of the Sciences of the Early
Eighteenth Century, As Seen by
the Layman." These interesting
works have been much in demand
at the library. For the benefit of
those who have not been able to
get them out, the Carolinian is run
ning a full review.
Poetry, including verse titled
"Would I Were a Little Spring
F 1 o w e r " (anonymous), and
"Could I But Dally Here In the
Green, Green, Green Woods" (also
anonymous) will be included in the
next edition.
--u. L. 0.
Dumb Dopes
Decide Destiny
In DiscussionI
Student Opinion
Is Recorded At
Campus Meeting
In the interest of recording just
what student opinion was concern
ing student government on the
campus, the Red Rooster under
took to make, secretly, a record
ing of all which went on in a dis
cussion group in one of the men's
dormitories,
The following is a partial record
of the remarks of the leader and
students.
Leader: The question tonight is
about student government on the
campus. (Here followed a brief
outline of the history of student
government and its present status.)
do you think should be the atti
tuide of studlen ts toward s tutt(C
govern ment?
Group Member: Will you repeat
the question, please?
Leader: Now that we hiave the
answver to that, I'll ask another
quILestioni. Whlat (do you think can
be (lone about it?
Group MIem ber : I dlon't know.
Leader: Good ! Now wve'll go oni
to the next qulestion on the out
line. It says here, wii
Group Member:(oby ttil
door) [Hey, comie o n i
memb)er andl win a fe ukysp
per! (to secretary)Makit (wi
as a new member.
Leader: 'We're glad to have you
as a newv member. D)on't forget,
you're not eligible fo)r the turkey
supp)er unless you stop by at each
meeting for a minute or so. Now
to the next question
Group Member: It's time to go.
It's nearly eight.
Leadler: So it is. Well, the meet
ing is adjourned until next week.
fBUy Your Tickets
For The Columbia
Music Festival
Swing Session
Anuot
Of Joke
Pointless
711 Be Pointless;
Of Maxcey Spire
ian will be out soon. This mo
dle yesterday by Dan Millsaps,
Gints Will
Win World
War-Weinefeld
Red Rooster Scores
Again With Latest
Foreign News Flash
In view of the imminent situa
tion in Europe today, The Red
Rooster, first with all the foreign
news, brings you an exclusive inter
view with Prof. Bob Vienefeld, noted
expert on European affairs. -
Reporter: Professor, what in
your opinion are the salient objec
tives in Hitler's march to the East?
Wienefeld: The clubs in the
East, in the National League I be
lieve are going to be much stronger
this year. Take the Giants, for in
stance, with Zeke Ronuss at first
base, they can't miss. And then,
despite what Bill Perry says, the
Brooklyns are very much in the
League. Now Boston . . .
Reporter: But, professor, what
do you think of the Rome-Berlin
axis. Do you believe the democratic
powers will have the advantage in
case of a world conflict?"
Wienefeld: Speaking a b o u t
power, you take the New York
Yankees. With Gehrig, DiMaggi
o, Henrich, Dickey and the rest
they ought to easily cop the pen
nant in the American league.
Reporter: Professor, do you
think we are going to have a world
war soon11
Wvienefeld: In the world series
I'll take the American league every
time . . . Look at the record . . .
Next week the Gamecock will
conduct another of its interviews
vith authorities on European af
fairs.
Next in the interview series will
b'e Banjo Smith, sports'editor of
the Columbia Record.
Wall Scene
NO
PARKiNG
Guess Who?
CAROLINA ENGRAVING COQ
You Don't Get Api
Food Is Good ani
Thai
G AMI
Here's now Th4
No. 233 II
Jobs U. S.
Gene Alexander, up-standing stud
a bit of money recently when the
substituted for the three-ball sign
Main St., when that immortal symb<
the money earned, he paid his way
And he did not have to milk cows,
tuition.
Roving Repoi
' By Damon Pythias
Your roving reporter roved reck
lessly around the rollicking old
campus the other day and inter
viewed some of the better known
Glamour Gals. As lie -wandered
passed the popular paradise coi
monly known as the wall, a wan
dering foot sent him sprawling on
the walk. He looked up, and there
was McAye Kinge standing over
hin.
"Why don't you look where
you're .going. you sappy-looking
little sap?" said Miss Kinge.
"Miss Kinge," said I, "I'm a re
porter, and I want to interview
"Ooooh, then in that case, you
may say that I'm going to all the
(lances here next week, and a few
at Clemsoi and Citadel tycO. I'ii
spQnsoring for most of them. . ."
Then who should come wander
ing by but Lovely Frail Johnson.
"What tews, Nliss Johnson?" I
said to her.
,"Well," said -shie, "it's a Long
story, but it's all over now. But
I've got to run along now, I'm go
Found-Eight U
Owners Apply 2
Intimate lFacts From
NI aricl 1 : Re iceived a l ette r from<~
NI;archi I: Recivedl a letter from
Joh l I'aiu I J'ne, today,i.
NI arch 17:l Receivedl hieuer fromi
NI r. Ju'ne, tiu.nu morning. Hadn grami
illar.
NI arel .?8 Received a lettecr fromti
.\ t-d todayu. Such an auwful thing!
An othe sto'ry ends.
BUSINESS
IS ESSENTIAL TO EVE]
00LL4IGE ME!M
DAY, NIGHT:'AND
DRAUGHON'S BU
1218 Sumter Street :-:
FRANK W. LYKES, Pfelsdent
MRS. D. T. FAULKINEE
ii Fooled When the
I the Prices Right.
's At
IO N'S
AIN ST.
,y Pay
i Series On Odd
C. Boys Hold
Is
ent at the Vniversity earned quite
tonardo hit Columbia. Alexander
in front of Moe's Nock Shop, 12
ol was damaged by the winds. With
through college for one semester.
like all Clemson cadets do, to pay
eter Rambles
itg a Man-ing."
Then I walked on toward Davis
College and ran into Cis Shevis.
I couldn't get much out of her
though; all she would say was "Oh,
l)-shiaw!"
And passing through the gates
of dear old Davis, who should I
find there hut Gorgeous Georgette
LaSee-her. Her remarks on the
situation were as follows: "Ali.
Mais oui. c'est vrai, et parlez-vous?
Comment passez-vous le temiips?
Noin? Oooh. La la! Zut!"
So I walked on through Davis,
and walking down toward the
Women's Builqing I saw Nicky
McSteenk. I asked her wlhat she
thought about the Civil War; she
answered, in a slow drawl, "Aw,
Ah thinks de Yankees is awl rite,
een Gin'ril Shoiian. . ."
Just as I entered the Women's
Building, I encoutntered Dot Pul
lam. I opened my mouth to ask
her a question, but she got hers
open first, and I didn't get a chance.
M iss Pul-lam's remarks would
fill the next three columns, so I de
cided to leave them all out.
xderpiins
At RoOst
Coed's Diary
I Can't Imagine!
YONE,O PARTICULRLY
Telephones 551 andoe 6317
WM.~1 p.YKE2 ' .JO lopr02 'Mant
pooY. 'UOretary-Yrooasurer
SPECIABPE01E
ISCO LLEGEBI
Telehone 5 "A GOOD817
1W2 . TAYLO R. VET.P.de
Reporter
Fortunate;
Sees Woods
Old' Man Tells
Of Good Old Days
In The Opery
By Pythias- Damon
With notebook in hand and press
ticket in hat, I somehow managed
to get by the 53 guards one day
and slipped into the inner sancto
rum of the world-renowned Lec
turer, Professor Billy Woods.
"Hal" said he throwing down a
cigarette and taking his feet off his
desk. Then he put his feet back
on the desk, lit another cigarette,
and said "Balil"
I gazed with awe upon this man,
who by sheer genius had risen to
a position from whence he com
manded the respect of the universe
(thV Universetee of S. C.) His long
white hair flowed down to his
shoulders; his dark brown eyes still
sparkled with a kindly fire. I think
he had been dreaming of days gone
by; when he recovered from the
William S. Woods
shock of my sudden entrance, he
began to speak in hushed tones ol
things that had taken place years
ago. . .
"Grands dieuxl I wish I was
single again," said the venerable
professor. "Those kwere the days,
when I was a student and then a
young professor on this campus,
Boy, what times we had in tho4e
days! Oh well, I had m1y tie, I
guites s..
Then he seemed to tire of rem
iniscing. "But there's still a bit
of tire left in me 'yet; you'll see!'
said he. Suddenly he realized that
I was a reporter, and took on a
more serious countenance. "Let
tme tell you about my latest book;
it'., called 'The Mlurder of Who
Mlan ;-oo'-er, no, no-I mean,
"I'he Infooence of Fooseau on
Frency Fooetry.' My greatest
work, withiout a doubt, and( that's
usin)ag somiething, foo-I mecan
poo-nto. no0, too!
"By the bye," lie went on, "did
you watch the tele-cast of 'I1 Tro
cadero' by the Mletropolitan Cafe
-l mean Opera Comupany-last
Saturday' afternoon? WVell, did you
not ice the cute little blonde icon
tralto-didn't she have the most
gorgeous voice?"
Now~ the professor fell to remni
nliscinig againi. I caught something
about "Carnegie Foosic Set," "Stu
deniit F oonion Building (wvith I eoo
New Shoe Hospital
"Everything for the Shoe"
MODERN
EFFICIENT'
EXPERT
Shoe Repairing
"Gives Your Comfortable
Shoes New Life"
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED
--PHONE 9605
1345 MAIN STREET ,
COLUMBIA, 8. C.
Look Whenees
Emblem So
COLUMBIA
Merchants Association
DENTS
allent work on your laundry
t at the Oanten. We can
>u one day service . .. and
AL RATES TO STUDENTS
LAUDR"
PHONE 2.214
Future Phart
Formulate F
Night Marauders Ra
Students Mourn *
Two students of the pharmapy
yesterday to an humble lookin
world that it was a newly inver
habit forming and 'non-intoxi
tunes up the muscles, and give
rythm.
They announced that the new*
product was soon to go on the m'ar
ket as "Jitterbug Juice."
In extensive tests at University
t
dances, the new fluid made the
most bashful, awkward students
easy-mannered, smooth dancers.
Tests at Carolina Law banquets
further proved its efficacy.
Dean E. T. Motley announced to
police today that night marauders
had broken into the pharmacy de
partment's store of chemicals, and
made way with a number of items.
Amongothe chemicals stolen were
listed two gallons of grain alcohol,
one quart 'of formaldehyde, and
three quarts of ~turpentine. Also
missing were a number of small
glass bottles.
Authorities were at a loss as to
the identity of the thief. He (or
they) left no clues.
U. a. C.
Tables)," but the grand old man
was talking to himself, and not to
me. I judged it best to leave him
to his dreams, so I 'slipped quietly
out, as he muttered something
bout "my -ld pal, Butch- Std
foon.
PALMETTO STATE LIFE
INSURANCE COMPANY
Offers
Protection - Service
Loyalty
Industrial and Ordinary
Home Office: Columbia, 5. C,
Monday
and
Tuesday
Come here a
and Easy R
5 PARKER
SCH OLARSHI
One&Scoasip~ Eai
-or 100 a
20 AddItional Cash
TOTAL:
O Get y
State Co. I
iky Fluid
id Pharmacy Stores;
loss Of Chemicals
department pointed with prid6
r bottle and announced to the
ted fluid, which, although non
eating, stimulates the senset,
3 the taker vim, vigor, and
Some Pupils From
The Red Rooster
Kindergarten
0.
Q MAYO'S
1426
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