The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, April 01, 1938, Page Page Sicks, Image 6
Higher
Coach
Jovial
Jackie
Juvenile -
The famous Jack Crawford system of
coaching which has confounded and as
tounded followers of the sports world for J
years has finally been exposed in a per- n
sonal, all-exclusive interview with your f,
Inkybaiter reporter!
Jackie (as he is known to intimates)
is the hard-working head track coach and I
Director of Physical Education at this j.
University of South Carolina. And let
it be known here that the Inkybaiter is 0
prepared to defend the use of the adjec- p
tive, "hard-working," in describing
Jackie.
In the files of this rag, which are nowE
under padlock because of the importance r
of the information contained therein, is
a statement signed by all members of the
track squad.
The statemet reads as follows--"We, )1
the undersigned, do swear by God and all Si
that's holy and hope to die this minute ri
if it isn't true that John A. Crawford
(This is to make it sound legal. We call
him Jackie, too.) was seen on the 25th t(
day of March 1938, strolling on Melton
Field with his hands in his pockets, and
whistling, and talking to several pretty P
co-eds, and most important of all, bum- Y
ming cigarettes from one of the high ti
jumpers who was getting a lift with a
you know what! If this is not proof that
he is hard-working, we give up!"
signed, the track team.
The mere fact that Jackie was seen on
the field should convince any doubters
that he does coach track and does a lot 0]
of hard work. Having disposed of this 5(
matter, on with the interview! $E
As I stalked into his well appointed
office in the gymnasium, Jackie threw
current issue of LA PAREE into the ft
corner, put his feet on tut fk*n, and saiu, p,
"Have you got a cigarette ?" I)
'1 pi
w
di
al
After this matter was cleared up, we of
got down to business.
"How's coaching," I asked. t
"Fine," he answered gesturing out of
the window, "The boys are in fine shape." al
In the distant haze I could make out .
the forms of a few men in track clothes
standing around on Melton Field.
"I think they're working out," Jackie
added.
"What about Clemson," I said. "Will
we beat Clemson ?"
"Oh, you know how it is-next year
maybe!"
"Sure," I nodded, "Sure. I know how
it is."
Jackie threw the butt over in the cor
ner with the LA PAREE and leaned
towvard me. A gleam came in his eye.
I got my scratch pad ready to take the
next words down.
Hie spoke slowly. "You got a cig
arette ?"
I got that matter adljusted again and
he leaned back and puffed.
"Glad to have seen you," lhe said. "Drop
many time you want a story. And by
the ,way, I'm going to organize a hog
calling team this week. Couple of the
boys have been yelling for one. It'll
mean a lot of work but I'll (10 it."
I hacked towvardl the dloor, a little con
fusedl.
"Jackie," I ventured. "To what do you
ow yor success as a coach."
Ile pondlered for a moment; then
brightened and began to grin.
"I just coach 'em. That's all," he said.
"I just coach 'em."
"'Can I tell the world that ?" I shouted.
"Sure, tell everybody."
And that's the secret of Jackie (to in
timates) Crawford's success as presented
to you in a vital. compelling, human docu..
ment by a lowly reporter on the Inky
haiter staff.
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Hick
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See
So
Shattered ... destroyed ... sp:
ression prevalent for years that
f marital bliss do not go togethe
rdomo Rex Enright done it all,
tultitudinous pieces and cremate
)otball warriors the last day of :
"Boys," he said, gathering thei
have but one request to make o
no simple thing to ask of just an;
F this noble group, I feel that th
ose to you will be done with the
Their hearts warmed by the tru:
nright ingenues bowed its little
sonant voice paused for emphas
"I want . '' his voice faltere
> ask them, "I want each of yc
srd, and the first week of yom
ke, for dear Carolina's sake, get
ed."
Wide-mouthed the fireside circlh
nance.
"I realize that each of you boys
>wer for me, therefore, I ask this
ar I want you to come back Se
rough November refuse to look t
* *
Gay . . . efflorescent . . . colorfr
xt year's athletic contests yoke]
rith a color scheme of garnet anc
der has been placed for 25 m
)O,000 yards of the gayest adhe
st to the occasion of being hurt,
Every player will go into the ga
il of blooms. Upon his perfume<
se a corsage of orchids, and it w
>sing player is tackled or otherin
ni upon tihe shouldler of that ind
ill carry.
"Our purpose," declares Bill I
andsire of the notion, "is to in
sense of the beautiful. We hop
stributions will result a new ert
id that in the future our school
higher learning but as a place
Bochman in laying the foundati
out clad in a grass skirt, while a
s guileless brow. Bochman, th<
>chman, the . . . superman.
* *
''Invite the citizens of all the nn
Students, folk of every derivatio
To a colossal sports spec-tacle
That will make the poultry cack]
So said William Hlarth today,
Wrapt in dreams of coining hay
While Gamecock athletic fortunt
To the heights of fame sublime.
"'We will offer gentlemen and I
A card to thrill the hearts of ha
Football, boxing, tennis, too,
Basketball, baseball, even peek-a
Golf, and traek. Why, we'll act
Of a host with a most gracious I
He paused to let the effect sink ii
To arouse him would have requil
Long enough to pierce the hide
Of a six ton elephant just died.
Ah,'' (quothi we, " 'give us horse
Slot malichlines and( moonlight pct
Leav'e us free to p)lay and gamabo:
Free to hand-ini-handly ramble
Compelled to attenid much less ce
Furnished with imore lovely lasse
"'It shall be did !'' said Willie 11.
'From now oni we will leave the
(It had to rhyme) string out
And to all thle inqulirinlg snouts
That (10 appear, wve'll extend a,
VTHEN YOU GO TQ SCHOOL
YOU NEED A GOOD FOUNTAIN PEN
-We Have
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Uso a Good Cheap Pen for 11.00 and $1.73
Leather Brief Cass $2.11 to $1.00
Leather Note Books 78o to 63.00
NYTH4ING NEEDED IN THE CLASS ROOM
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Ing Spots
With
ppy Slimn
rttered . . . gone forever is the im
ithletic prowess and the enjoymen
r with any degree of success. Ma
thattered the illusion, raked up th
d them, all in the presence of hi
practice..
n about his fatherly knee. "Boys
f you from now to September. 1
'onie, but with the unalloyed beaut:
c matter which I am about to pro
greatest of ease."
;t reposed in them, each one of th
head in shy confusion, while th<
Is.
d at the facile duty he was abou
u to go home this summer, worl
vacation, please, please, for my
some nice little girl and get mar
stared back at his fatherly coun
would gladly do anything in you
trivial thing of you. You see, nexi
ptember 1 and from that time or
it any woman."
* *
ii. That is the foundation for the
authorities announced this week
I black as the prevailing motif, an
iles of bandage of that vintage
3ive tape, splints that give added
mnd flowers by the truckload.
me skipping merrily with an arm
1 ('FlyBy Nuit') shoulder will re
ill be his pleasure whenever an op
ise met in strong body contact, t<
ividual a posie from the bunch i
3ochman, the father, mother, and
still in the heart of every athlete
e that from the practice of floral
i of good will between our rivals,
will be known not alone as a seat
where beauty is loved and aspired
ons for the movement is gadding
wreath of fbrget-me-nots encircles
man, has evoluted. He is now
* *
tions,
n1,
le.'
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th art
.,
races and btig
ting.e
1228u hand 10 anSre
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BMOER'REAQUATER
hfd Hc
Crac
Harth
s
F1
Worn to a mere skeleton of his forr
tator of athletics, was placed by physi
And say, 'For us, you're just th
"Our troubles," we sighed, "ar
This will be a Shangri-la laid oi
"Bali !" snickered Willie with
(Almost like lie enjoyed rubbii
"I build my ales with such pL
Why, you saps, everyone knows
Carolina
"If" Chai
Carolina fQr the first time in several
years won a major sports championship,
today, when she was declared "if" cham
piOn of South Carolina.
This title is won on the basis of the
number of sports involved and what
might have happened "if."
No other school in the State was in
hailing distance of the University, which
easily carried every sport "if," except the
runner-up team, College of Charleston,
which would have won the football title
"if" they had had a grid team.
"If Carolina had had Kiss, Kelly, a
Koach and some Kash, the Gamecocks
would have won sonic football games,
"if" only Bramlette, I lamlet and Ohio
jerseyvich could have played.
Running up a big total in the cage "if''
race was the Gamecocks again with, "if"
Lipscomb had only eaten more spinach
like D)addy saidl, and "if" the other teams
had not been so strong.
Sports writer "Ukelle" Jones in a
recent newspaper-article picked an all
H1 IVH
HARTH
Delf atlers paPJ'tsPats 11
Ot:w sfSUMT ANDj- BLNoD~IGijd
1).130) P)SuoNE 61~ i)O1.10)Xtj
StA~and,'IoItardBuines o hWuse t
Cpollti m eter,W l1:ii!l tale s s.hip
Autoumied Seth r vce
ipless
Cer
On Diet
(4u \
I
t
ter self, Willyam Hallelujia Harth, dis
:ians this week on a buttermilk diet.
e man.' "
e almost over. t
it in clover.''
:liabolic grin,
ig it in!)
musible tools.
it's April Fool's." 1
Claims
ripionship
state "if" team. It 'included: <
No. 1-"If" Sam Daniel, U. S. C. ten- r
nis player had returned to school and "if" P
he had ducked state eligibility rules
another year.
No. 2-"If" Paul Rampey had given y
up a possible Big League contract to play
in the football "minors" for Carolina and
a paltry remuneration.
No. 3-"If" the Fair-day Clemson- a
Carolina classic had lasted only three J
minutes.V
No. 4-"If" McCallister had used a
two man team consistently.
No. 5-"lf" McCallister had used a one
man team consistently. t
No. 6-"If" McCallister had had a _
team.
NE3
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MARSHALL-T
Harth
ebrun
Weeping
William
Wails Woes
While members of the Boohoosters
:lub, the Junior Alumni Assassination
;roup, tailtwisting trustee Solomn
Blatt, Esq., and others of his retinue
nomentari ly relaxed their vigil night
vatch, and while Miss Ersula Cantwell,
:hief maid im waiting, paused to catch
ier breath between her daily dozen
(thousand) words, Dictator of Athletic
Willyam Hlalleluhia Harth yesterday is
med the most momentous statement of
us checkercd career.
"There can be no such thing as sub.
idization of athletes, and there will never
>e anything as dastardly as that, so long
is I am director of athletics at the Uni.
ersity."
With tears in his eyes he told of his
fforts to keep his affairs on a simon.
re basis. "I have given the best years
f my life to the task of keeping our
ports program on a par with the best
chools of the nation." he sobbed.
"Look at me." We did. "Veak and
un-down, nerves keyed to a fever pitch
mid lately I had to cut out my daily stint
>f spinach. Why, I've lost so much
veight fighting this insidious foe that I
>nly scale 203 pounds now. Almost any
lay now I expect to fall over in my
racks, because, in my condition, I can't
:eep going."
Tears were coursing down both our
heeks now, as I looked at the ravages
he struggle had imprinted upon his
ountenance. Hair rapidly greying, only
hree chins left, his corpulent front ex
osure only a wisp of its former size.
"Why don't you resign before your life
s ruined ?" we asked him, overcome with
he enormity of his plight.
"I can't, I can't," he replied with a
atch in his voice. "If I ever relax my
old on the situation here, no one can
ver find the key to its solution again.
hy look at North Carolina, Pittsburg,
nd all the rest of theu. We can't jet
ur school drift into a fate worse than
ridiron defeat."
Lost in the fog of his reasoning, we
ould only wait and weep. By this time
he water was up to our knees.
"Look at the pictures on the wall there.
\h, them were the days. Them were the
lays." As though rejuvenated by the
ecollection of past things, his keyes
oured anew anew as twin cataracts, and
ve began to wish we could swim.
"Nothing as vicious as subsidization
vas allowed to soil the record of an
nstitution when I was a student," Wily
Villyam blubbered. "Then we played
or the love of the game, now they play
t cashing a check twice a month. By
upiter! I'll do my best to keep it that
'ay, too. I mean the way it was."
We nodded in complete acceptance of
he Ilarthian doctrines, inwardly agree
ig that he was a true son of old Jupi
:r Pluvius.
By now his outbursts had quieted down
Continued down yonder
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