The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, April 01, 1934, Page The Last Round-Up, Page Eat, Image 8
Life!
*'
Ht 3BKK
Irvin Gooseberg, who is held for
manslaughter in the local courts. It is
held that Johney Simpleton recently
laughed himself to death on reading
Goosebergs hysterical map of Souse
Carolina.
Spring Provokes
Crazy Outburst
Spring is here in all its pristine beauty.
With it comes the green freshness of
growing things, and the panting zephyrs.
All the grass is green, and the flowers
are growing, and the soft breeze is trilling.
It is trilling a dirge over the departed
winter, it is trilling praises for the
new sunny skies, it is trilling me because
I don't have to wear an overcoat, it is
trilling you because you can wear your
new Spring overcoat. Spring has come.
Spring will soon he gone, and in its
place will be summer. Poets don't talk
about summer uch because in that season
they are always either drunk or lighting
hangovers. Hut summer follows, Spring,
if you don't believe it go look at your
calender, or my calender, or any calender.
u. s. o.
Shady Scandal Scares
Silly Lion Secretary
(CONTINUED FROM PAGE SIX)
"You're already the Belle of the party,
aren't you?" the Sheriff demanded.
Whereupon, Belle and the little girl
went jauntily on their way down the old
Ox road. Gentlemen, how far they went
is not known.
At the Coroner's inquest, the Body
(Anybody) showed signs of plus and
minus, which fact indicated that the accused
had been guilty of UNNATURAL
VICE to the extent of?(stopping at the
crucial moment.)
Whereupon the Judge waltzed merrily
out on the roof garden, chanting,
"Give em the woiks, boys, give him
the woiks."
The fact was revealed in the trial that
the hair of the accused was pulled from
the roots by the tiny twining fingers of
the little chorine in her distress at not
being allowed to twiddle her thumbs and
brood.
Belle took the sentence very quietly,
his only words being,
"God save the Queen."
Whereupon the audience rose and
shouted, "llcil Hitler."
The little girl has been offered a long
term contract by THE CAROLINIAN
for a series of articles on her experiences
to be written for and published in that
magazine, soon (as not.)
"Ring out, wild Belles"!!! Or what do
you think. Or do you?
U. 8. G.
Pi Phis Harass
With Final Smoker
(CONTINUED FROM PAGE ONE)
up permanent residence in the house were
left homeless and were kindly taken to
bed last by the neighboring Tri-Dolts.
The following were taken in: Frost
Walker, Henry Willard, Shay Hopkins,
Bill Breeden, Dave Childs, and Ben
Woodruff.
v. m. a.
Bo's Art Brawl
Gets Big Boost
(CONTINUED FROM PAGE ONE)
plan to elect the queen of the ball
by a lottery. Proccdes of the lottery,
according to the plan announced by
Bell would be used to build a swiining
pool for the fish caught by
Hyacynth Babcock three years ago
The fish has been growing ever since'
Babcock caught it and has completely
outgrown its present quarters.
Plans for the ball arc now completed
and committees arc polishing
up the details. Harold Moony is the
chief polisher and has the brass rail
under his careful supervision. Tuck
"Baltimore" Bonn, commonly known,
as the "common bond," is in charge
of the program but members of the
club are urging that students do not
stay away from the ball just on that
account.
Miss Pants Dubosc and Little Ed
Bowcn were suspended from the club
recently when it had been learned that
Cowry Wins Coveted
N. R. A. Honor Tit]
A trip to the nation's capital, with i
expenses paid (by Julia Cowry), has be
awarded Miss Julia Cowry who has jt
been selected the University of Sou
Carolina N. R. A. girl. In this instant
Gentle Reader, N. R. A. stands f
"national run around (arff, arflf, in t
approved Popeye style).
Miss Cowry was awarded this hoti
because she changes her men (yes, men
as often as a habitual smoker chang
cigarettes.
XJ. H. o.
they had accepted bribes from Ii
Koger and Bruce Littlejohn, studcn
in the school of applied graft, t
which they were induced to put tl
names of a number of students
that school on the invitation list f?
the brawl. Evidence was brougl
against the two by Miss Dotty Wi
son who says that "lawyer is a ho
rid word."
Members of the first drinks con
niittee for the ball are John Greg
McMaster, Lucilla Mikell, and Julis
Bolick. Members of the secot
drinks committee arc Alys Whale
J. L. Sims, and "The Monk" Aycoc
Members of the third drinks commi
tee are Margie Heise, Frank Hubbai
and Marjorie Foster. After that tl
faculty sponsors take charge and tin
don't care how many you give then
it. ii. o.
Taker Found Low
In Spirited Fra;
(CONTINUED FROM PAGE ONE)
"Move over, then" lie advisei
lying down on the floor bcsici
Labor, "I'm goin' to get drunk wit
you."
"Who, you? demanded Labo
You can't get drunk. It ain't dig
nified."
"Ba-ba" said the Black Sheep <
the faculty.
What happened then is nc
known. The reporter got drun
too.
( *
Racti<
by ]
WE>1
T v ma
pressed b
our factoi
The to
can buy.
Expert
purity all i
manufact
The fac
Even the j
When
can be su
rette mad
In a le
entist Si
a* pure
(
? 1934. Licchtt 6c Myers To?a?
\
Scouts Enfold
le Teetotal Club
aU CONTINUED FROM PAOB ONE)
members and student leaders. King
|?4 *
? Kyserling, student secretary of the
^ Y. M. C. A., stated informally that he
"e> feared that the activities of the new
group might keep the boys away
1C from their studies and might lead
them into vicious habits of life, but
Dean F. W. Bradley, faculty liberal
agitator, and J. A. Chase, director of
the Palmetto Players, said that they
believed that the members of the group
_ have been leading too studios a life
ra and that the contacts and social life
ts produced by the new organization
>y will lead to a more well rounded life
ie by the members.
111 The club has recently moved its
headquarters to the University gymnasium
and several of the men have
1 ~ been sleeping there. Men staying in
r~ the gym are "Buzz" "Durham, "Son"
Behling, "Hoole" Jones, Roy Powell,
1 ~ Heyward Clarkson, and "Speedy"
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sally untouche<
bman hands
3 like you to see Chesterfields
de. We know you'd be im?y
the absolute cleanliness of
ries.
baccos are the best that money
chemists test for cleanliness and
materials used in any way in the
lire of Chesterfield cigarettes,
tories are modern throughout.
lir is changed every 4J/2 minutes,
you smoke a Chesterfield you
re that there isn't a purer cigae.
Iter to us an eminent sci~
ays:erChesterfields are just
i as the water you drink."
~>es
the cigarette
the c
zco Co.
t TV
Students Struggle
For Rejuvenation
Those mean old domitory girls are still
complaining about the way they are
nourished.
This time they hold that the sweet little
old unmarried lady who runs the cafeteria
is not doing right by them on account
of she has pets. Not the usual
animal variety but something a bit dif
Spears.
Other members of the club are
Archie "Sweet Child" Beattie, Gordon
Kenna, Dessie Gilland, R. L. McNally,
Boyce Graig, Batney Gaylc,
Adrian Spears. The house mother
for the group will be Mattie Mattison.
The
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All Next Week ?ss
1
</Ci
Inspectors examine Chesterfields as they
come from the cigarette mating machines
and throw out any imperfect cigarettes.
;terfi<
that's MILDER
igarette that TASl
ferent, meaning of course the boys who j
eat there. !
The girls are contemplating a strike j
to rid themselves of this heavy burden J
they have bourne so complainingly. .
* Many Uniworstity students have j
availed themselves, of the opportunity of J
taking sdme special courses offered only J
at Columbia Collitch, announced Jack J
Chaste, U. S. C. power-behind-the-throne. !
"In fact," he stated, "these courses J
seemed to be unusually popular."
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Lerty M. 8. Miner, D.M.D., M.D.. D?u
Dept.37,18S Ltna?Md Ave., Bntit, Matt.
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>f the century
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One Oo<^a-Oola Free Sunday ;!
< i
11
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APRIL FOOL !;
I 'i
FIVE POINTS DRUG
Friday?Saturday
Edward G. ROBINSON
in
"DARK HAZARD"
Monday?Tuesday
MUttJ Cfharlie^^^^^
^a-ss^ MACK'S CTlJ
W ^'Rhapsody in Fun"
l Corrine Reynolds Ma
F^^FAN DANCE
On Screen
Barbara j
j "Gambling |
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