University of South Carolina Libraries
' " ^^ I MORSELS By MORSE ' "'* " ! 1 s Members ol the Clariosophic Literary Society report that the stentorian tones > of the. Honorable (AH EM-hem-hem) Mr. Robert H. Atkinson can be heard across th^ catopus'on Tuesday night, and allege that their meetings s^re- much disturbed thereby. The ungrateful things, they should be thankful he-doesn't sing. We know a guy who>can spell Cincinnati, Massachusetts' Philippines, schottische, Tallahassee, conscientiousness, Tschaikowski, Nietzsche, and antidisestablishmentarianism, but we bet he doesn't know whether it's Flinn Ilall or Flynn Hall. We we're just beginning to# feel apprehensive a^out the supply of natural gas, when the elections set in. Why draw caricatures of politicians, wheh in most cases photographs would 8 look much ftjnnier? == Correct tfiis Wntence: "Of all the ? jokes I've everhBtttd,"- said the speaker, ? "This situation doesn't remind me of a single one." / 2? jS And then course there was the fresh man who thought fhe JMy of the take was a bathing beauty. I * Being very modest, we do hereby offer j an anonymous blank check to the man or miid who contributes the worst pun to this column each week. The winners will constitute a Pun-of-the-weel^ Club, and will receive celluloid frying pans as emblems. . i . ,> , g All engineering students, come to think *"6 of it, are roads scholars. Seeing as how Autumn hath ever^een a favorite season with poet's, an4 haying - a vivid imagination and a soft pencil at 2? our disposal, we have Reived into our j| fertile intellect and unearthed from the 1ZJ tnass of political economy and statistics 6 and telephone numbers and memoranda co anent dates and metaphysics, the fellow's Jug poeirt, whose dark beauty, restrained ^ intensity, and fragile delicacy we defy anybody to match. Title supplied upon request. Don't forget A. S. E. "I read th^highbrpw magazines And 4uly read the papers, I've learned yfhat Humanism means (After-some midnight tapers). I keep the pace of big machines, I know which way the market leans, But I confers'I 4on't know beans About the Senate's capers. ^ "I read Will Rogers, Burton RasCoe, Heywood Broun, Dave Lawrence, And all t?e papers, like an ass, From Tokio to Flawrence. But though I read 'em all en masse Till Judgment Day shall come to pass, I can't assimilate, alas, \ , The facts that come in tawrence." This being a scientific age and all that, why, oh, why hasn't somebody invented noiseless celery ? ) Some married men live like bachelors, and some, poor things, have wives who don't play bridge. I PROFESSOR SMITH BARELY ESCAPES ARREST AT CAMP EXPLAINS; IS RELEASED ' I Sentiment Saves Geology Profe#sor From Straitjacket While Taking Daily-Dozen ' One day last year Professor h. Smith, warned one of his Geology sections not to confuse sediment and-sentiment, saying there no sentiment in his classes. IJowfcver, if thejre was no sentiment Professor <(*Rock* Smith would now be decorating the interior of the local bastile or sighing dismally in a straitjacket. y! Tbe genial. professor was takjng exercise inlCamp Jackson. Leaving car in gear and while it proceeded slowly down the road he would dash ma<Jly in a half-circle, tramping black jacks as he went and meet his auto further down the load. His action^, attracted the attention of one of the camp officials who, thinking him a lunatic or bootlegger, hurried to the nearest officer. Said officer searched the ear ana finding no whiskey was about to arrest'the professor when that individual volubly explained. who he was and said he wm merely getting/ into shape. Needless to say he was released. . i . P. S. C." * . "Hello, is this the City Bridge Department?" V "Yes, lyhat do you want?" "How many points do >you get for a little stam ?"? 1 \ . - . ' v I ,1 Sophomore With Pro Sanded Bed^Caufees Row It is unusual when a freshman do* not figure in a big disturbance that takes place in a tenement/But over in DeSaussure the other day a junior and a sophomore staged a sham battle in whicl a lowly rat was afraid to put his head. It so happened that for'the sake oi devilment the junior imitated his earlj forbears by climbing down the fire escap< and putting a load of sand }ln the soph omore's bed. This exasperated the lattei person so thoroughly that he roused s freshman in the middle of the night anc sent him scurrying up t6wn to mail t letter. But in the kindness of his soul h< spared the fellow that did the damage. Not content with the devastation tha he brought the night before, the junioi next day proceeded to make a potter!! field out of the soph's room. Not'om stone was left standing upon anothe and the third year man left with the ai of Julius Caesar and Alexander the Grea combined. When the sophomor? enteret his habitation he sent up a cry of lamen tation and indignation, following whid he made a great oath that he would be dul avenged. . ' Some time later the junior came hom to find his room completely turned up side down, his precious, pictures strewi upon the floor, and his mattress tied it I a knot around the bedpost. Cursing ve hemently, he weighed anchor and se sail for the sophomore's room. That per I secuted person, namely, the second-yea I man, returned later to find his room agaii I torn to shreds, the bed taken completel; out of the enclosure, and the food tha I he had saved for a rainy day fed to th fowls of the air. Exhausted by the constant war far land weary of destruction, the two go I together and signed a treaty of peace. | - x / -?u.?. c?? CHRISTIAN SERVICE CLUB SELECTS PIS _ ' HYMN SLIDES OBTAINEE Hold Services In Confederate Home And County Alms House I^ast Week Following the usual custom the Caro I hna Christian Service Clul} held its regu liar meeting Wednesday night in Sloa College. Th$ session was presided ove by the president, J. J. Brown, who callc J.fpr reports from various deputation trip I made in the city during the past weel I An account of the visit to the city jai llast Sunday morning was made by J. A Fincher. Miss Hazel Bass tpld of th service conducted at the Confederat 1 Home Tuesday afternoon and Earle Tay lor reported on the trip to Richlan. I county alms house last week. Following these reports the matter o a club pin was again brought to the at Itention of the members who agreed oi a design suggested by a local jeweler. I is hoped that these pins* will soon b -1 ready. 1 The meeting was featured by stereopti I can slides of several well-known hymn; which were both helpful and interesting f I These slides have been secured by th I prepident. On Tuesday they .were showi to the old soldiers at the Confederat I Home and on Thursday to tljfe inmate of the alms house. GAMECOCK HAS NEW COLUMNIST >1 ? The column "Caro-Lines" which ap peered in Thr Gamecock for the firs i J time last week, is being written b; I E. C. Gilmore, a junior in the Schoo J of Journalism. Gilmore attended Wof ford last year, and while there was oi I the staff of that college's magazine he was also art editor of thd" annual. I He says that any suggestions abou 11 the column will be gladly received, an< any letters addressed to "Uncle Billy,' I care of The Gamecock, will receiv* I attention. "Uncle Billy" will answe any and all questions about ye lovi affairs of the sweet co-eds. I A 1 u. s. c.?L He: "Why do you say she is evil minded ?" Him: "Well, she asked if Sex Hygien was a lab. science." Collegiate Irritation No. 398,ti66: "All parallel must be read before Mon 'day." , _ Be helpful With your wife. When sh I mops up the floor??mop up the floor witl her. V The height of embarrassment?tw< eyes meeting through a keyhole. i * ^ .i f Brevity being the soul of wit, any co ed's costume should be good for at leas I one good laugh. One thing's certain, you can't compfait to the janitor about lack of heat fron I the janitor'* daughter. . Contends nkish Junior .'LOCAL TALENT' FEATURES WIS HOUR PROGRAM ! THe U. S. C. hour over WIS last week - was devoted more to local talent representing the various city music clubs than i University entertainers. However, the I program was started, according to cusi torn, with the singing of the Alma Mater, : after which the Chaplain, Dr. Hugh Murchison, gave a brief account of the work t of the Bible Department on the campus r and among fhe students, stressing the s fact that there were between one hundred s and fifty and two hundred- young men r and women engaged in the study of this r subject at-Carolina. ^ I The remainder of the program was i taken up with singing by Columbia ar tists. The first selections *were rendered i by Mrs. R. I. Lane, who sang "Tell Me, O y Sea," and "Brown Bird Singing, accompanied by Mrs. Maurice Mate teson. ? -1 The Mixed Quartette composed of a Mrs. William Furtick, Mrs. William a I Sweeney, Mr. Robert Lafaye and Mr. -1 Maurice Mattcson, who was the annoiint cer for the hour, furnished three selec tions: "To A Wild Rose," "Come Join r Dance" and a number from Faust, n The last was a solo by Mr., Lafaye. y The Program was brought to a close t With several more selections by Mrs. e Lane, which included the numbers : "Phyllis Has Such Charming Grace," and e "Lovely Lady." . * I v ? c. NIMRODS SEARCH FOR ELUSIVE GAME ' Mighty Hunters Go To Yemassee . For Deer, But Return Empty Handed *1 Pr' Babcock, professor of EnI glish, and^Dr. Bruce Coleman, professor of mathematics, went'to Yemassee on a deer-hunting trip last weekend. Each took along a couple of extra shirts?old ones ^ ?to be cut off in case they shot at a deer r and missed. Fortunately, they arrived ^ home with shirts safe, sound and whole. I The two professors have recently ex: pressed their sincere gratitude to the deer III for remaining out of sight during the ten hours of watchful waiting. e I V. 8. c. e ANOTHER CLUB ~ -PUTS CHAPTER AT UNIVERSITY (Continued from page one) J i-"The seminar meeting, which was held oil October 10, 1930, was presided over by Mr. H. L. Stokes, Chairman of the University of South Carolina Branch of _ the A. I. E. E. The following papers were I' read at .this meeting: e M(l);_'Some Recent Expansions in I Power Applications,' by C. H. Bryan. "(2) 'Truck Type Switch Gear,' by E ? L. Rankin. "(3) 'Illustrated Lecture on Electric Locomotives,' by H. L. Stokes. I "At a seminar meeting, held on October 13, the following talks were made: m "(1) 'Working With the Nfew York Central Railroad,' by S.O. Cowan. "(2) 'A Television Test at the General t Electric Company,' by F. H. Lucas. "(3) 'Instrument Transformers,' by C * A. Riley. * The next meetihg of the seminar will l>e held on Monday, October 20, in % ] Physics lecture room, Sloan College. The > freshmen in the Department of Electrical Engineering are especially urged to t take advantage of these meetings. ? u. s. c. e I DOUBT IT r If a pair of red lips are upturned to your f> own, With no one to gossip about it; Do you pray for endurance to leave them aloni ? Well, maybe you do, but i doubt it. e If a neat little waist is in reach oi your arm,' With a wonderful plumpness about it, -1 >'0u ar?U the point 'twixt the good and the harm? Well, maybe you do, but I doubt it. e lij If a shy Uttle hapd you're permitted to seize, v; With a wonderful softness about it, } Do you think you could drop it with never a squeeze? Well, maybe you do, but I doubt it. - I v t Aqd if by these tricks you could win a young heart, i v JiWith a womanly coyness^ about It/ ) Will you guard it and keep it, and play ? the good part? hWeil, aiaytfc you will, but I dottbt it y?; ''* *. #' '' """? " II. DR. REED SMITH ] RECIEVES HONOR <-;V .i.V ; -s.% < y-,-.. V. ASKED JOIN NEW BOARD Literary Ability of Prominent University Professor Is , N Nationally Recognized Dr. Reed Smith, dean of the graduate school, has been recently-asked to become a member of the new board for "American Speech, a Journal of Linguistic Usage in the United States and Canada." This journal is published monthly. Dr. Smith's latest work, Volume VI of American Speech, has been accepted with enthusiasm. His former contributions consist of two pamphfets: "Participle and Infinitive in I-N-CV' and "Gullah," and two articles: "Popular Etymology" and "Down-Hill Words.'* Dr. Smith has been especially congratulated on his "Gullah." The pamphlet has distinguished contributors from abroad and hats excited unusual interest LITERARY SOCIETY INSTALLS OFFICERS f * ? Saluda Reese And Other Officials Elected At Previous Meeting Take Office The new officers of the Hypatian Literary Society were installed Wednesday I afternoon. These are: Saluda Reese, pres- J ident; Dorothy Penland, vice-president; Hattie Mae Still, secretary; Ruth EllsI worth, treasurer; Ruth Ritchse, monitor, I and Mary Reese, recorder. Miss Penland, in her exaugural address, cited the accomplishments of the society during the past term, mentioning particularly the success of the co-ed debating team. ( In her inaugural speech, Saluda Reese expressed hope that the society would benefit by taking In many of the freshI men who show special interest in the I I society. I DUr'n8T the afternoon, one new member, I Theresa Hampton, was taken in. Twenty names of proposed members were approved by the society. SMITH PUBLISHES SEVENTH READER Final Book of Series, "The Open Road To Reading," Comes From Press Dr. Reed Smith, Dean of the Graduate School, has recently published a Seventh Reader for public schools. It is the final book of a series, "The Open Road to Reading," beginning with the primer, that Dr. Smith has been putting out for the last two years. The book is now being used with great success in Virginia, Louisiana, Texas, and Georgia, and will be offered for use ' in this state at the next adoption of gram- I mar schpol books. v u. s. C. "Have you a minute to spare, Professor?" "I think so." "Well, I'd like to see you for a second." KEMPS are amazingly popular For your edification Kemp Fabrics are the hairy kind ... unusual coarse blends ... contrasting colors .. . almost rough in appearance ... but educated not I v to scratch . . . *34.80 *39.50 KINARD'S 1523 Main,Street1 RALPH NEWMAN, Campus Rtp. 1 K.S.K. FORMS NEW i CHEERING SYSTEM >'i LEAGUE PLEADS ACTION ? President Sends Gamecock Stickers To Orangeburg Merchants "Boost Carolina" was the main topic of discussion at the regular meeting of Kappa Sigma Kappa, honor service fraternity, held Thursday evening in Room 1 of the Chapel Building. The action of President Pinckney in having fifty Carolina stickers sent to Orangeburg for window display by merchants of the Edisto City was heartily approved by the members. These stickers are to be displayed preparatory to the invasion of Orangeburg by Carolina and Citadel students during the Orangeburg County Fair. Greater concentration of effort was Urged by Cheerleader League when considering the development of the proposed new system of cheering Ten K. S. K. men under this system act as captains of groups of twenty-five. The captains endeavor to have a full attendance of their group at all pep meetings and football games. \ v. ?. c. Penalties for careless pedestrians who endanger autoists are being <fnacted in Europe. Serves 'em right, the big heartless brutes. "Good morning, sir. I'm a bond salesman." "That's all right, my good fellow. Here's a quarter?go buy yourself a square meal." ) WE SELL "The New Alligator" HOPE-DAVIS CO. JOE HIOTT, Campus Rep. Half of .1 J in colle i "iVritL ! ' F?< .... says I YOU may call it toe itch, golf itch?the wdocw may call it ringworm?millions of people - who catch it, call it ^Athlete's Foot"?but all of them are the same. A ringworm parasite, tinea trichophyton by name, causes that redness between the toes with l-t-c-h-i-n-g. Tiny blisters or a thick, moist skin condition may be another symptom. Again dryness, with little scales, is a signal. > "At least half of all adults suffer from it at some time," says the U. S. Public Health Service. In universities as far apart as Pennsylvania and California 50% of the men have it. And the co-eds are not immune either. It lurks in the very places where we all go for cleanliness and health?-on the edgejf^of swimming pools and showers?in gymnasiums?on locker-and dressing-room floors. It spite of modern sanitation (you have to boil socks 15 minutes to kill it) V->': 4 * Absorb! Fob YEARS HAS RELIEVED ? muscles, muscular aches, Bl burns, cut*, sprains, abrj Patronize Our Advertisers THE NEW 1 I Smartest Coat on the Campus College men who know what to wear and how to wear it choose Alligator **50"? die new College Coat. .Alligator "50" is a smart double-breasted ragian?long?fullcut?roomy ?-full-belted, with big patch pockets, and a convertible collar that gives extra protection around the neck Light in weight?semi-transparent?'absolutely weather-proof. Four rich, original colors?Deep Sea, Tan, Blue,Black?and only $7-501... Other Alligator models from $5.00 to $25.00. THE ALLIGATOR CO. J ;' St. Loui*, Mo. * fou men ge have ete9s OT" v r. & report -|| this fungus parasite infects and reinfects bare feet almost anytime they come in contact with damp floors. Absorbine Jr kills the germ of "ATHLETE'S FOOT" Tests in a famous New York **lahM hare revealed that Absorbine Jr. penetrates fleshlike tissues deeply and that wherever it penetrates,it KIT.T?S the ringworm germ. It might not be a bad idea to examine your feet tonight. At the first sign of the symptoms mentioned here, douse on Absorbine Jr. And keep a bottle handy in your locker as a preventive. Use it after $*ery exposure of bare feet on damp floors. At all druggists-?$1.25. W. F. Young, Inc., Springfield,