University of South Carolina Libraries
HARRY STOTTLE I sez Tomatoes are a good cure for bad act ing and political speeches but what do you use for this type of writing? No 'body asked you, Oscar. As the movie queen said, "you're a fool, but you're MY fool." We call her freight, 'cause she's the goods, manhandled often, constantly shifting from line to line and never makes any progress. "Now listen here, if you ain't a musi cian quit fiddling 'round my knee." The way of the transgressor is con stantly being made harder-by chap eronage. She was only a bar-tenders daughter but Oh I how I love her mug. Mother : (who is trying to break John ny from saying "footsies") "What is it that the cow has four and mother has only two ?" Well, we won't finish it cause it has a bad ending-Johnny received an ap plication of the razor strap upon the equator of his anatomy. Maybe he'll learn to say "feet," yet. He was just a Ford mechanic and Oh 1 how he could handle the wenches. P. S. Printer, be sure and put the "R" in wrenches. The height of effrontery, in our opin ion, is a red-nosed inebriate (drunk man, Percival) singing, "Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam." His father was just a barber and he a little shaver. I don't mind them calling on me And "Bulling" 'til almost dawn. But they all want to wet their whj tles, By join' through my "'Cawn." We don't expect to ever find a per fect girl, but ain't it fun making sure whether they are or not? We call him Jonah-he takes such a whale of a swallow. Pity the poor cockroach who has to walk back from a "roller-towel-ride." He who would speak with Jackasses must bray. Correct this sentence: As they drove along the highway they passed the en trance to many lonely and deserted country roads. "Now-let me see . . . shall I say "doggone" or take a long chance on a "damn ?" Said the joke editor of a co ed school's paper. "You'll come home crying when your last scent is gone," said mother skunk to her wayward son. And we call her "Seven Days"-she makes one weak. Listen to your room mate stumble over a chair in the (lark and then deny the fact that all men speak the same language undler certain condlitions. And the vaunted Purple Hurricane was comparable to our own dear little elec tric fan. 'Then, there was the affair between the gentleman of color, and his dusky consort who slammed him over the head with the was tub when se started to give him his usual pre-sabbath ablution she found that his back had already been washed. "1 don't like her." "Why?" "She kicked me for another guy." Did anyone ever answer so? 1 A rag, a bone and a hank o' hair, Swimming Squad Now Down to Real Work Prospectc For Carolina Aquatic Team Appear To Be Excellent The swimming team, under the direc tion of Jack Crawford, has started pract ice in earnest, following Mr. Driver's an nouncement that the money necessacy to use the city Y. M. C. A. pool would be appropriated. The men are practicing between the hours of 3:00 and 4:30' on every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. According to all reports, prospects are of the best. However, the team is par ticularly lacking in divers, and any ad A gasoline buggy, (a man at the wheel) A playful scuffle but not one squeal. 2 They're still quitely parked And they haven't gone yet. They're now enjoying A good cigarette. 3 Well, let them sit It's their own auto. But wonder of wonders-.. She hasn't said "NO." 4 Then a foot on the gas And a leisurely ride With the rag and bone Perched up beside. 4How did you happen to propose to your wife?" "I didn't propose tq her. I was just an innocent bystander." -Winthrop Johnsonian. LORICK & LON BUILDING AND PLI Pipe-Valves-Fittings, B SPORTING Whena Feller A THAT'S THe FFTH Pt-ATE He'S RUli4BD BY COVJtis'G OLE 7he Smo *..., not a Thornwell Club To Meet Friday Niglis The Thornwell Club held a meeting in Flinn Hall Friday night. November 16, and decided to meet regularly at the same time of each week. After Scripture reading and prayer, the meeting came under the head of bus iness. John White made a talk, telling some of his experiences he had at a confer ence he attended during the summer. ----USCM Pharmacy Society Meets At LeConte "The Chain Store" was a subject dis cussed by Carl Hester, a member of the Carolina Pharmaceutical Society, and student in the Pharmacy school, at a meeting of that organization held in La Conte College Wednesday night. Douglas Bailey explained the tuper of druggist, using specific examples. During the evening "Snake" Turner entertained the Society with some jokes. Columbia Laundry 1323 Taylor St. Phone 4954 VRANCE, INC. JMBING SUPPLIES !ltings-Glass and Paint GOODS Teeds a Friend : %.5 HARRY Cou G.i -r4G Y-r oR. AGAIK > 0 other and Better ough in a ca Columbia Dry Cleaning Co., Inc. Newest and Most Modern Just Around the Corner From the Campus CLAUDE SCARBOROUGH Manager G. O. RILEY C. B. LAWRENCE -- Campus Representaitves HARRY WOLFE CHICK FOSTER 905 Main St. Phone 3129 What We Say It Is-It Is Russow Jewelry Co. 1522 Main St. Phone 7308 School and College Rings and Pins FRATERNITY PINS, CRESTS CHARMS AND MONOGRAMS ATHLETIC AND SCHOOL MEDALS PRIZE CUPS BRICE.JOYE COMPANY, INC. Cleaners and Dyers "It's 'Joye' Dyeing for You." Just around the corner from the Campus HARRY L. HINGSON, Campus Rep. 1209-11 Pendleton St. Phone 8035 A Barber Shop on block from the University for Men and Women State Barber Shop Ground Floor State Office Building COLUMBIA, S. C. Under Management of Palmetto Barber Shop .* .'y BRIGGS NOT A CoUG M IM A CARL.oAD E+ 1l-u HARRLY, . WSWARH YE'HY DON'T You IQR GOODNESS STPT GET WAE SAKE, G+vr SMOKIKG To TEnn ? HI^ AN OLD GOLDS OLD GOLD OR t-1E STAYS OCT Or: -THE PICTURE