The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, October 14, 1927, Page PAGE EIGHT, Image 8
COOLIDGE GETS
RAZZBERRY IN
S"'NEW STUDENT"
F.P.A. of the New York World
Poke Fur at the
President
SUGGESTS JOB FOR "CAL"
Satirizes Chief Executive's De
mand for Spiritual
Meaning
"Our colleges," said the profound
Calvin Coolidge, at the dedication of
the South Dakota state university
library, "Will fail in their duty to their
students unless they are able to inspire
them with a broader understanding
of the spiritaul meaning of science,
literature, and of arts."
To which the Irreverent F. P. A, of
the New York World adds, "What
is the spiritual meaning of science, lit
erature, and the arts? If the president
wants a job when and if he emerges
from the White House, why not take
the Chair of Spiritual Meaning at his
alma mater, Amherst? Or, if he wants
to go back home, at Smith?"
For the benefit of such skeptics as
F. P. A., who shows dangerous pre
judice, we offer illustrations of the
president's theme:
Student enters university library and
picks up book, "The Story of Our
American People," written by Charles
F. Horne with the blessings of the
American Legion and at the behest of
patriotic societies. Takes bottle, labell
ed "Spiritual Meaning Extractor," from
pocket, and cautiously removes stopper.
Pours liquid over book, the pages turn
red, white and blue, and then yellow,
while stench of decaying vegetables
rises.
Student next applies liquid to Wil
iam Allen White's "Life of Calvin
Coolidge." Pages shrivel up into asheq
which are carried away by breeze. H.
L. Mencken's "Prejudices" is the next
subject of the extractor. First dose has
no effect. Student empties remainder
of liquid onto the book which turns in
a pile of greenbacks. These explode and
blow him through the ceiling.
Act II. - Another student opens Wig
gam's 'The Fruit of the Family Tree.'
Applies 'Spiritual Meaning Extractor' in
small dose. Ape, reading New York
'Graphic,' appears in smoke arising from
book Next dose is tried on Oliver
Lodge's Esther and Reality. Room sud
denly grows dark, while red haze hovers
over book. White shrouded figure,
identified as Warren G. Harding, rises
above haze, and reading 'The President's
Daughter' fades away, slowly shaking
"CHUCK" COLLINS
Head coach at U. N. C., who brings
a fighting crew of Tar Heelians to meet
the Gamecocks tomorrow afternoon.
NORTH C
No. Name Pos. Age
63-McDANIE~L-E1nd .... 21..
56-PRESSON-End...... 19..
72-SAPP-E~nd. .... ....20. .
48-KESLE~R-End ....... 19..
87-FENNER-End....... 18..
75-SNIDER-End ....... 22..
66-MOREHE~AD-Tackle 21..
94-WARRE~N-Tackle .... 24. .
59.LIPSCOMB-Tackle .. 19..
85-HOWARD-Tackle ... 20..
9O-HARPER-Tackle .... 20..
91-SHULER-Guard .... 21..
8(O-BEARD-Guard ...... 22..
49-DAVIS-Guard....... 22..
71-RBTLOC.-FB......2.
"RAr PROGRAM
AT FLINN HALL
(Continued from page one)
since I came to Carolina." A short
stunt was then given ,followed by a
sirecho by the freshman class. Miss
Frances Bethea, f:ankly admitting her
present state of ignorance, told "What
Carolina can do for me." The fresh
man class gave another gong ensemble..
Miss Carolyn Carson of Coker Col
lege, who is on her way to Atlanta to
a Y.W.C.A. convention, concluded the
program with a short talk to the fresh
men.
"Green," said Miss Carson, "is a sign
of growth, so let that be a sign that
you are growing. Don't get too busy
with worldly affairs to keep tab on your
self. Take time to know God."
Miss Ida Johnston was elected to go
to Atlanta to the Y.W.C.A. convention.
She will be accompanied by Miss Car
son.
Misses Virginia Taylor, Willie Jo
Hughes, Thelma Lockman, and Mi!drcd
Conc were elected as delegates -o the
state convention at camp Laf-a-Lot.
-- UC
MEETING OF UNDERGRADUATE
HISTORY CLUB
There will be a meeting of the un
dergraduate history club Monday nignt
at 8 o'clock in Davis College. This to
be in the iorm of a reorganization
meeting and all old members are urged
to be present.
head. Student pours one drop of liquid
on collection of Dr. Frank Crane's phlio
sophic and scientific discourses. Pecu
liar wailing is heard as figure of old
woman, bowed with grief, appears on
pages. At the same time a chorus of
little boys, each looking like Eddie Guest
files through the room singing mammy
songs.
Act. III. Art student examines sketch
of emaciated laboring man. Pours some
'Spiritual Meaning Extractor' on draw
ing which fades into picture of the ar
tist eating big steak in a Fifth avenue
club. Student stares stoiidly at painting
of sunset, but can derive no meaning.
Sprays it with fluid, and witnesses sun
set change into fried egg which hungry
artist eagerly swallows. Student drinks
remainder of fluid, and losts conscious
ness as he is transformed into a vacuum.
-USC
I see where the president of the col
lege is going to stop necking on the
campus.
I should think he would at his age.
Bedtime Story:
"I have perfect limbs," said the co-ed
dancer, "yet I never try to display them."
1st Trapeze lady-How was your first
husband?
2nd tropeze lady-Good to the last
drop.
1st Soph-I feel a lethargy creeping
on me.
2nd Fool-Yeah, the grass is full of
them.
I doctor myse?f by the aid of medical
books.
Yes, and some day you'll die of a mis
print I
Prof. Coleman (in Math. 8)-If the
population of Columbia compounds at
the rate of eight per cent, what will it
be in five years?.
Stude-I don't know, sir. Some of
them won't be old enough to compound
'in five years.
:AROLINA SQUAD SS
Height Weig'ht No. Name
.5'-10". .. .175 84-DONAHO1
.5'- 9". ... .165 67-SCHWAR']
.6'- 2". .. .175 64--EVANS-C(
.6'- 1".... 175 54-FURCHES
.5'-11". .. .177 57-WHISNAls
.5'-10". .. .165 93-GRAY--Q1
.6'- . ... .200 69---YOUNG-]
.6'- .... 185 55--LASSITEli
.6'- 3"... .197 53--GRESHAIV
.5'-10".... 198 61-FERRE~LL
.6'- 3"... .210 68-FOARD-1
.5'-10". .. .180 77-REESE~--I
.5'- 8". .. .160 74-WARD-H
.5'-10".... 170 78-SHUFORI:
. 5'-10". .. .175 70.--TNKIrNSc
COUNCIL.bISCUSSES
FORENSIC ACTIVITIES
(Continued from. page one) .
stitutions of the East. Several debates
are yet to be announced, but will also be
scheduled.
Carolina, last year made a wonderful
rec9rd in the forensic field and estab
lished herself as one of the strongest
debating contenders of the South and
East. Not satisfied with defiating such
state teams as Furman, Wofford, Pres
byterian College and the Citadel, hse
bettered in verbal conflicts, teams from
the University of North Carolina, the
University of Georgia,'the University of
Tennessee, Temple University of Phila
delphia, the University of Delaware and
William and Mary College. This year
she hopes for an even greater season
and with victories, she can lay claim to
the championship of not only the South
but also of the East and West, since she
is to meet almost every Southern state
institution as well as some strong East
ern teams.
After mapping out the schedule, the
Council discussed co-ed debating. An
other thing to evoke discussion was the
publicity that is to be given to debating
this season. The Council plans to adver
tise her contests extensively. Another
feature of the meeting was the formu
lating of plans for the entertainment of
visiting teams.
The first bow from the rostrum will
be made the middle of December when
students will compete fo rthe coveted
Roddey Medal, awarded annually to the
best individual debater of the Univer
sity.
Usc
WARDLAW SPEAKS
TO UNIVERSITY Tr
(Continued from page one)
realized by man. The first part says:
"Thou shalt love the highestr with thy
whole nature." That is, put yourself in
harmony with the sum of the force of
the Universe-the laws of nature and of
spirit-and enlist on the side of the eter
nal goodness, pitch yourself as one has
said 'in tune with the Infinite.' The
other part is, good will to all sentient
beings-doing as you would be done by.
This might well be our one and only
standard. We need not bother with
others, for all that are true are mere
interpretations of this."
After Dr. Wardlaw's talk the Chicora
quartet gave several selections.
-USC
Dressing-'lhe girls go simply wild
over this shirt.
Distressing-Oh, I see. Sort of a
broadcloth, isn't it?
HARRY LIGHTSEY
His Gamecocks begin one of the
hardest weeks of the season by meet
ing N. C. tomorrow, and continuing
with Clemson next Thursday.
['ATISTICS
Pos. Age Height Wei ght
enter ......20....6'- 1"... .200
S--QB ..... 21. .. .5'- 8". ...155
T-QB . . .. 20. . ..5'- 8". .. .155
.......... 20. ....5'- 8"... .155
IB .. . ... . .20. .. .6'- . .. .170
-HB...... .20. . ..6'- 1". .. .166
[-HB ..... 21... .6'- ....158
-HB...... 22. ...5'- 8".... 160
IB.........2.. .. 5'-10.... 160
[B......... 21. ...5'- 8".. ..165
B ......... 22. ...5'- 9.....165
-B......21....6'--0".... 190
CHEERING CLUB "The entire purpose ofthe orgauln
FORMED ON CM PUS tion," continued the writer's-nfofit'lit
(Continued from page one) is torevive, rather than ly
to understand, "for," said a member of
the lub f4 frshma wh posese-4tention of drWhfg fresb1ien*ar_we are
the club, "a freshman who possesseth iut fol
class pride and spirit will conform to
the unwritten traditions of the Univer
sity that were formed before our fath.
ers were born. Some of those tradi- ALUMNICOME
tions are stated as concisely as possible HERE TOMORROW
in the 'A. B. C.'s for freshmen."' (Continued from page one)
A-Wear freshman caps at all times.
B-Learn songs and yells; and sing and be a regular feature of every football
yell. game.
C-Attend pep meeting and parades. Alumni are welcomed to the Univer
D--Loyally support Carolina teams In sity campus by every student at Carolina
victory and defeat. and those who wish to do so are invited
e-Practice campus courtesy (speak to to stay on the campus with their friends.
fellow students and faculty men'- AlthoLgh the game is the p-imary reason
bers.) for the celebration op Zaturday. Caro
Note-Failure to comply with the lina alumni are "pected to get together
foregoing will result in the offender's on several other little matters and the
being called before the K. S. K.'. prediction is that the campus will re
Motto-(Addressed to freshmen)- semble the Carolina of old on Saturday
If you do not get the spirit, the Spirits night. Especially if the Gamecock take
will get you. the Tarheels into camp n
Always kee o
a little
Edgeworth
~si,on your hip
Wingfield's Drug Store
1443 Main Street
"As CoPeland Goes, So Goes the Fashion Learn the Way"
MANHATTAN SHIRTS--STETSON HATS--BRADLEY
SWEATERS--MUNSING UNDERWEAR
Everything Seasonable and Stylish -for Men Who Care
COPELAND COMPANY
1535 Main Street Columbia, S. C.
Home of Kuppenheimer Good Clothes
Phone 6061 Service Is Our Motto: Give Us.a Trial
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