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LAND TREMBLES WHEN FRESHMAN HEARS BIG JOKE UNCLAD STUDENTS EXIT Chapel Bel Damaged But R. G. Bel Rings-Mess Hall Suffers Loss Last night everything began to shake. No, it wasn't student's heads in a math class just after a question from the professor on parabolas either. 'Twas a strange happening. Professor Taber pronounced it to be a local earthquake. It was-extremely so in Rutledge college. No one knew what to think when the shock first began. Some ran from the quivering dormitories in their pa jamas, others in their bath robes and others The latter were caught under the showers. Such staring, such marvel ling looks on faces have never before been witnessed on the campus. All at 11 o'clock at night too! A certain co-ed grew so scared that while she was combing her bob before retiring, the hair on her head stood straight up. She had to comb it vig orously upside down in order to keep it down. (You can't keep good hair down tho.) John Pate had to hold his stomach to keep it from over-balancing him and shaking him out of the bed. It did scare ten pounds off, however, al though he took every precaution to hold it on. It had been nmored that John was dieting but his appetite isn't suited tQ the business. A certain Mr. Bell, who was sittin'g in his Ford, got so scared he bagan ringing. It wasn't "tin lizzie" rattling either ! It even shook Prof. William's band loose from his coat lapel. Mrs. Latimer was somewhat wrought up over the situation when she dis covered this morning that all the but ter had been shaken out of her supply of butterbeans. Fortunately, however, the shock was violent enough to over turn three barrels of grits on the Aoor. (Wouldn't is he terrible if we didn't get grits for a while?) She states, however, that no meals will be delayed since she has left-overs from several weeks which only need warm ing. At the first shock, Dr. Taber began making studies and investigations. With the aid of such instruments as hyperdermic needles, tooth picks, and finger nail files, he discovered that the shock was greatest at Rutledge, a shingle having been jarred off one cor ner and the clapper from the chapel bell having been shaken loose. On entering tenement seven he found that the shock was caused by "Skinny" Snmith having gotten tickled and shook the whole locality. No serious damage was (lone except the dislocation of the shingle and the clapper to the bell. Marshal Cantey has had fifteen men at work all day fixing the hell so that it will ring once again. He states, however, that Prof. Olson had better move his office valu ables on account of leaking due to the shingle, as it will require at least a week to replace the said shingle. -USC THE CO-ED'S COLLEGE EQUIP MENT I pair dancing shoes 6 pairs walking shoes 2 dlozen assorted time talbles (Char lotte, Clemson, Charleston, Clinton, Spartanburg) I book-any good book For incidentals-$5,000 I telephone number 6 football captains I Prom dress 1 dozen friends to borrow Prom dresses from. I good line 1 road-map 8 cartons Lucky Strikes 7 dates per week (not the kind yon eat) 1 collection of brains (helpful but not essential) Matron of Women Prefers University Mrs. Middleton,. better known to the students as "Mother Mid" expressed the dear gratification that she feels towards the students of Carolina. There has been a great change in the attitude of the students since she assumed the charge of the Women's Building. Every time not only the girls but numerous boys are seen wending their way for a conference with "Mother Mid." Thru these talks and the advice that she gives, she has endeared herself in the hearts of the student body. One of the reasons for her popular ity on the campus is due to the fact that always when she is on the cam pus during the day, and especially when she is going to and fro on her trips to town, she has a cherry smile for everyone. During the last Clemson football game when she so sportingly forgot her dignity and joined in the spirit of celebration. when she so wonderfully assisted Jimmy Baldwin in leading the cheets, she created for herself a in ory in the hearts of Carolina that will live forever. -USC CAROLINA PROF FIRST BREAKER OF BA THING L AW Arrested by Assistant Marshal And Deputy-Makes Stren uous Fight The first violation of the new law against public bathing on Sunday, on the University catnpus, occurred last Sunday when Professor J. Nelson Frierson, of the Law School, and a beautiful woman in a scant and flashy bathing suit took a bath in the new fountain, presented by the class of 1925. Professor Frierson says in his de fense that he was sitting on the edge of the fountain, making violent love to the lady and tried to kiss her. The lady resisted more strenuously than he expected and they slipped in. The accident came near being a tragedy since the lady had a neck hold and held him under the water. He says that he did not have on a bathing suit, but was wearing a cheap summer suit which shrunk up to the dimensions of a bathing suit, thus pro ducing a hallucination in the eye of the police. He announces that his classes will not have any cuts during his incarcer ation as he has arranged for Mr. J. Rutledge Smith to take his place. In an interview today, Mr. Frierson said he was still violently opposed to the Eighteenth Amendment. The arrest was made by Assistant Marshal Joe Hines and Deputy Henry Buist after a hard struggle in which Mr. Hines lost three of his milk teeth. -USC Krawcheck Receives Offer From Movies Mr. A. S. Krawvcheck, the Rudolf Valenitino of Tenement 20 has at last been rewarded for .his efforts. .Last week a special representative of the First National Pictures Corporation, called on Mr. Krawvcheck and succeeded ini getting him to affix his niame to a contract. A fter the representative disappeared he was heard to say that, by the terms of the contract, he would hardly clear enough to cover expenses for the arti cles that lhe had bought to prepare him self for the interview. Trhen he men tioned the articles that lhe had used. Among his enumerations lhe mentioned 15 bottles of Skin Bairn, 7 jars of mas sage cream, 2 dozen bottles of Honey and Almond cream, 8 bottles of hair tonic, 6 dlozen bottles of white vaseline and 24 cans of talcum powder. All of this not to mention the toilet water and colognie that lhe purchased to make ready for the representative. Although, Mr. Krawvcheck is proud of the fact that lhe is to app)ear in mov.. ing pictures he seems to be slightly dis satisfied with the work that he it to do. for instead of playing the part of the shiek he is to take the part always of the lowly tramp. For this position we feel that he s very elluited., SCHA YER WILL LEAVE TO FILL OXFORD CHAIR NEUROLOGY DEPARTMENT Is Author of Work on Perception Of Light Through Skin It is with sincere regrets that it is announced that Dr. Isadore Schayer has accepted the chair of neurology at Oxford University. Dr. Schayer has for years been head of the University's department of Hygiene. At odd hours he has done considerable research work in Biochemistry, Astronomy, Mathematical Physics, Ichthology. Ophiology, Ornithology, Comparative Anatomy, Paleontology, Osteology, Comparative Osteology, Pathology, Entomology, Bacteriology, Cytology, Psychology, Histology, and Greek Mythology. Dr. Schayer's recent work on the physiological effect of light upon the skin has proven beyond the shadow of a doubt that light may be perceived thru the skin without the aid of the eye. But even more striking than this is the discovery that the red blood cells are really biconcave discs rather than concavo-convex as is held by Profes sor Minot of Harvard, who is support ed by the work of Stohr, one of the leading histologists. For this work Dr. Schayer has been awarded the Nobel prize for the coming year. An other interesting bit of his research is the determination of the structure of hippuric acid by synthesis from ker osene. Dr. Schayer will be missed by all of us. His delightful courses in Hygiene have cured numerous of us of that dread pathological condition, namely, insomnia. "YALLER SHEET" Want Ads BRING INSULTS WANTED-More chapel hours with more notices to read. Dean Baker. WANTED-A larger library with more books no one wants to read Prof. Kennedy. WANTED-More dictionaries to con quer. Don Russell, D. F. WANTED-Nice boys to sit in our Chapel seats. Leora Johnson, Katherine Zeigler. WANTED-Someone to talk interest inly in my Hygiene I. Dr. I. S. Shaver. WANTED-More simple reactions. Dr. L,ipscomb. WANTED-An original joke. Charlie Mercer. WANTED-More bull for The Game cock. W. L. Crocker. WANTED-A new name-mine causes confusion. H. B. Bull. WANTED-A new reputation. Thelma L,ee Horger. WANTED-More post cards to read. Mrs. Moon, at the Canteen. WANTED-To give away a History I book, Robinson "Medieval and Modern Times" apply to Margue rite Johnson. ride. Professor P. M. Teeple. LOST--One perfectly good heart to Mary Muchison. Return to "Frenchie" Hurteau. PROFESSIONAL NOTICE-If you want it done. See me. "I put the 'chap' in chapel." Jack 'Chase. 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