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WEEKLY ORACLE HE WAS but a TIMID lad who HAl) COME TO THE great UNIVERSITY of the STATE TO give evidence OF HIS ORATORICAL PROW NESS. ALREAI)Y HAI) his fame SPREAD to the GREAT INDEPENDENT REPUBLIC of HORRY. I passed him AS HE stood before TEH TOWERING PORTALS of TH'HE Chapel wherein EVENING would find HIM MAKING HIS debut. INTO the sweetness of THE LATE AFTERNOON FLOATED the ENCHANTING and soothing STRAINS OF . "YES! W1E have no bananas." THEN followed THE MOURNFUL aria from THE great play OF THE year NO other than "PE'P of 1923" entitled "LAST NIGHT on the doorstep." AND so ol THROUGH the galaxy OF musical MASTERPIECES. I spoke to TiE YOUTH OF the FLASHING eye, "WIHY that's JOE, T-HE COUNT OF HOBOKEN. HF"S the onv with ZEE MUSTACHIO, SAY KID, AIN'T IM, great?" WHEREON the child RElIIfED, "SURE MIKE, why H E'S already been PLAYIN' mol(re than - TWO HOURS!" ALAS! SUCI is the C'RUDENESS of YOUTH. A RT1 goes unrewarded. I T HANK yon, SON OF MIATRON HJONORED). Howvard HI. 'Heard,. son of Mrs. Alice S. fleard, matron at Melton Hlall, has been awardl one of the ten fellow ships at Yale. Mr. Heard, an honor gradunate of the University In 1914, wIll dp research wvork In chomistry and reepIve his Phl. D. fromi Vale In June, 1925. WVhite; "I can tell a lady by the way shie dlressses, can't you ?" Williamson: "I've never wvatched one dtress." Roonunate: "What dIidl your caller want?'" D)owling (mgr. of the mess hail): "WVanted to know if I wantedi to buy a fresh case of eggs." U.S.C. The Soph stood on the railroad track, the train was eomiing fast; The Soph steppedi off the railroad track And lot the train go past. The Sonlpr 8$40d oni the railroad track, The train was coming fast; The train got off the railroad track And let the .Senior past. ROMEO AND JULIET (Juliet stands on a ladder, dressed in white. Romeo, in plumed liat, valvet cloak, etc., stands below her, looking up, and tli following dialogue takes place: Itonieo--"It vas her, oh, it vas mein lif. She schpeaks somedrings aber I don't fershband vat she say. Oh, see, she has her scheek on her handt. Oh, If that mitten on heV Inaiidt vas me dot I might touch dat .C heck!" Jiulett-"Ah, me!" Roieo--"Oh. sehpeak, von diies i:ore, pright angtl pird!" Juliet-"Roineo, Romeo, ver you Was?" Roieo-"I took dhee at thy vord und came; call me, luf, und I come quick!" Juliet---"H-ow you got (lot garten ini?" Roimeo--".lit luf's light vings I der vall seliump over like a geese pird." Juliet--"If mein fader see you, it w1a petter if You diedt before you vas porn." Romeo---"I half ne one night's cloak to hide me in, lund if you lif ie it vas petter if I gone dedt here before do;s priglit eyes as sonie places orderwhere, ain't it.?" Juliet--"O, Romeo, you make me plush ober you giat dot in re Iighlt. 0, dost dhow ful mle?" Roi(o "Slhiw(ed goi'. I schwear by dot Imocil I lui d(e." Juliet - -"Ohb. seh wear not by dot mnim. S ietinies he don't sline and such llf like dos: I (.on't Want. Roir--- IDAn vot I elall sliwear -1y, f:li" geee pird?" Julik t. -"Doii't. schweair at all, but if imho inooet scliwear. slhwear py ycur own gracious self." Roieo- "So lielp Imle, gracious. I lif dlie." Julikt- Goot nilghtd, good Iightd, I 11.11st me oi der ped go." Roimuo "iOh, golly, you gone away?" Julict--"Vat goot for me gan you tonight. half?" RoiLo--"Dot you cal gif me your self unid Al your luf." Juliet "You got my luf pebore yvin ask himi1, and I gif himi to youl agAiin und v.ga:in. IuId again. I must to ped liow ge. Goot nightd. goot a1gh1td. goot Iighitd!" Romeo---"Der tinfel! She vas gone! Oh. you agill 1ack? I goot ie skeerd, I douglt. you don't get again pack." Juliet "Rom11co, hlist!" Romeo "Schweed vee, I Iist. I don't gave if I ist thie nigh t tirougli so you pin [dor hister. It va,- so seliw ed to stand liere." Juliet -"it vas near imorning, und I vould haff dhlle, gone. I m11uA on der ped go. I see dhlee agin." Romeo . "Oh, me. oh. ine. (lot vas too pad. Achleep, Seh w ed schleep. I colme Ine "-omlle 0(der nligitd. Coot anightd, goot nightd." --U.S.C. -- ANNUAL EASTER DANCE A GREAT SUCCESS W\ednuesday eveneing the Bats and( Bo h'emian D)ancing Chuh of the( Unliversity gave their annuiial Faster- Dance out at I,ake'view I 'avilimon. Thii pav'ilion was gay wVithI the detcor'ations of the two clubs, green andl whIite rep)resentinlg the Bats ad( blue and wvhite for the Bohemn jaans. Numerous visiting girls wvere the guests of flue clubs. TIhe feature of the evening was the mlusic by F"ranuk Sil ver's orchestra. The assemblage was madec up of over three hunidred youths and m naidens, and( of course the chap ecrones. ---U.S.c.-- -- SENIOR INVITATIONS 'T'he order for Senioru inivitation's has already been senit in to thle piriuters. Thlere were a great many whlo failed to Place orders wvith the comlmittee. If you see sonie muember of this committee within the next fewv days you may be able to place that order. Th'le members of the conmmittee are TI. I. D)owling, NIleBHridle IDabbs andl C'ampbell Lancy. Hlelp thlemi to get these inivitaitionis early. -U.S.c.--- - A bunch of boys wvere congregated aroundlC the big heater in the "Y" the other night .discussing the negro, and his faults. One of the fellows saidl that D)r. Carver, a negro professor, was the greatest niegro chemist in America today, when Tlid D)owling suddl(enly raisedl up andC said : "Give me time, fel.. lows, give me time." Wc wonder wvhat our popular TVid wants time for ? PHONE 5181 Yellow Cab Co. Day and Night The Cars that carry Insur ance for you. Metropolitan Cafe The Old Reliable In Business since 1900 The Metropolitan Cafe 1544 Main Street WRIGHT'S DRUG STORE Pret criptions CarefulyII Compoundzd WRIGHT'S DRUG STORE 1214 (ervais :treet (New l'est Office Block) If it is Safe Motor Transportation You wtnt or ll - - - 5593 City Transfer & Baggage Co. TI e Bonded Compony For the lii!r adb J. S. Pinkuosshn Cigar Company 1309 Main St. Ci.ars - Soda - Pocket Billiards Fountain Pens and Pipes Repaired HAVE YOU TRI1ED P of1tturr Smfokin:r Tobacco. Pot pouirri Cig..rettes First Class Service j given University Men Dave Means Barber Shop 13I4;MAIN ST. I'Il(ONE 7421 WI NGF 1 Southe Columbia, S. C. THE R. Book - Station 1440 Main Street If you knew what ageing in wood does for pipe tobacco Even the finest Kentucky Burley Tobacco (and that's the kind we use) is green and raw when it'spulled. You could hardly smoke one pipe load of it. And here's where Velvet is dif ferent: Our ageing takes out that rawness and harshness, and makes the tobacco mild and mel low and gives iL fine flavor. Age ing in wood does what no artificial treatment can do. Remenber-Velvet Tobacco aged in wood. ---------------. I ro ar & M v., nns onAcco Cc, University Text Books Fountain Pens Loose Leaf Note Books and Fillers, Pads, Pencils, Erasers Writing !Paper The State Book Store State Newspaper Building McMASTER, Inc. Athletic Goods Corner Sumter and Hampton Meet Me at Tapp's For College Caps, H-atb, Shirts, Ties and Other Gents' Furnishings The Jas. L. T[app Company 1642 Main Street IELD DRUG STORE 443 Main Street rn Teacher's Agency COVERS TH-E SOUTH Chattanooga, Tenn- Richmond, Va. L. BRYAN COMPANY ery - College and School Supplies graving - Printing and Binding COTLU MRI A