The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, May 05, 1921, Page 4, Image 4
SMILES.
Prof. McCutchen (on public
finance)--"What was the tithe,
Mr. Cain ?"
Cain-"Ancient tax on salt,
sir."
First. Circus l.oy--"W\'hat's
the biggest thing you ever did?"
Second - "Washed Ihe ele
phant by myself."
Fresh -- "What time is it,
please ?"
Soph-"One-fifty-eight."
Fresh--"That's right. I have
two to two, too."
Houck ( writing home ) -
"Mackie, how do you spell
'financially'?"
Mackie MacGown - "Fi-n-a-n
c-i-a-l-l-y, and there are two s's
in 'embarassed.'
Ligrhtibus outibus in parlorum
Boyibus kissihus sweet puel
larum
Dadibus quickibus cum cluba
rum
Kickibus boyibus outside doorum
Hoyibus limpihus ad his domo
rum
Swearibus he kissibus puella
nomoriinm.
If you d:n't feel .just right,
If you can't sleep at night,
If you moan and sigh,
If your throat is dry,
If you can't. smoke or drink,
If your grub tastes like ink,
If your heart doesn't beat,
I f you've got cold feet,
If your head's in a whirl
Why don't you marry the girl?
---Tiger.
A woman's first kiss may be
attributed to childish eurosity;
her s('cond to lisplaced confi
dence. btt the others are down
rhtcarlessness.. --Tar Baby.
"Her cheeks," he said. ''are roses
red,
And lovely as can be;
ier r'u}by )ips are t reasurYe ships
That speak of love to me."
BItt when to kiss this little miss
The poor boob took a notion.
lie founi her lips were painted
ships
Upna painted ocean.
"CAROLINA"
Sunday Nite.
My Dearest Jane:
Sick ?--Symipathy.
Dedia ?--Regrets.
Engaged ?--Congi atulations.
Married ?--Best wishes.
If not--for the love of Mike,
write!.
She--I don't think it's right
to say that a woman can't keep
a secret.
He--Why so?
* She--Because no woman ever
tried.
Dad--"Do you know my sofl
John dowrn at Carolina V
Stude-"Yes, he and I sleep
on the same history class."
Most of us feel like pelicans
when we see the size of our bills.
"Gee, what a defeated coat."
"HIow so?"
"Frayed around the botLom,
frayed around the edge, frayed
arounl the collar, and frayed
around the cuffs."
"Watchful waiting for me,"
said the inspector of weights
and measures as he tested the
scales.
She was engaged to a man
with a wooden leg, but when she
found it out she broke it off.
"Here's where you break into
print." said the editor, as he
shoved the cub reporter's head
through the case box.
Have you heard of the latest
debut ?"
"No."
"Ears have just come out."
A business man stepped into)
a butcher's shop.
"A piece of beef for roasting,"
he ordered, briskly.
The meat, mostly bone, was
thrown on the scales.
"Look here," protested the
man, "you are giving me a big
I)iece of bone."
"Naw, I ain't," said the butch
er.; "yer paying for' it.." .Ex.
It is about time all fresh be
came acquainted with the .joke
about the inmate of the (leaf and
dumb asylum who, when a water
heater exploded, broke his
0humi1b hollering "Fire !"-Ex.
Ilunme without a mother can
be nothin;;' other than an incu
bat or.
lie lid)'t. want to hit him
hard, so he pilled the t rigger
easy.
P'aren)t "1)o you know, WVil.
,it. what you ought to get for
tl;ling w. ith hat ioy across the
street?"
W illie----.\ nt'd l. IIe's twice
the siz of lle."
THINGS I CAN.
NEVER UNDERSTAND
Why hei' letter dIidln't r'each
me.
Why all collar buttons when
dropped run under' the bureau.
Why the janitor' insists on
sweeping my soft shoes to the
back side of the wall under
neath the bed and leaves them
there.
Why every college has to have
a faculty and tr easurer's office.
Why the gong in Davis goes off
just as you drop off to sleep.
Why the professor comes in
at 'Bine and a half minutes past
'Why Dr. Sniowden loves math
emantics so.
BOTH
U. of S. C.
We
Laugh
Drink tussick
Smoke
Cuss
We
Make friends
Make money
Make clothes
Make love
We
Overdraw bank accounts
Arrange dates
hate overhalls
Dance
We
Fight
Shoot craps
Sleep on classes
Flunk exams
And yet
They love us just the same.
SPECULATIONS ON STYLE.
I.
Perhaps, since overshoes are
So popular this winter,
Spring may introduce
Rubber boots.
They'd really be as good
Advertising since they
Are just as awkward
Only there
Are no buckles to jingle
Hut maybe bells could
Be attached very
Harmoniously.
And if they were hip boots,
How delightfully short
Skirts could then
Be worn.
But think of the shins hip
Hoots would conceal
Unless they were
Transparent.
H.
At that we may be thankful
That the fair sex are
Content to bob
Their hair.
They might have been led
io having it shingled,
Or even having their
leads shaved.
Ill.
The latest on rolled socks
Is that it is perfectly
All right, because
Ssh!
The basket ball men all (10
Theirs that way, and
They're all such
Nice b)oys.
IV.
As Mary says, even Fashion
IHas limits but just
Now they tendl
To meet
Or Mathematically speaking
Style is a variable
That has passed
Its limit.
--R. McE.
Wimgfi
1A
DF US
C. C.
They
Powder their faces
Scream
Smile
Do, too
They
Are friends
Spend it
Wear some
Do, too
They
Prolit thereby
Give punch
Love evening gowns
Do, too
They
Scratch
Play rook
Stay away altogether
Do, too
ut Still
We love them just the same.
The
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