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SMILES. "Sam, ef'yer does don't qui 'busin me I'se bliged ter come n (ey and beatcher up." "Piggly Wiggly, niggah, Pig. gly Wiggly." "Whut you does mean, Sam by 'Piggly Wiggly?' "Cum in and help yo'sef." Judge: Now what would you say if I were to sentence you to hang by the neck until dead?" Prisoner: Judge, I'd say you was stringing me. Soph-"What'll we do?" Senior-"I'll spin a coin. Il it's heads we'll go to the movies; if it's tails we'll go to the dance, and if it stands on the edge we'll study."-Brown Jug. Sea Captain (to one of many standing over the ship's rail) "Weak stomach, my lad?" Boy (nervously): "Why ain't I puttin' it as far as the rest of them? "-Octopus. "This is awful suspense,' said the condemned prisoner a, he dropped thru the trap door of the gallows. "Jack and Jane are getting a divorse, I hear." "What! Why, it has' beer less than a year since the knot was tied." "I suppose it was a slit knot."-Ex. She sat in a straight backed chair, her fingers twitched ner vously. Was he lying injured under an overturned car on some lonesome road? Suddenly the silence was broken by the discordant jang ling of the telephone. "Whoops, m'dear," came her husbands' voice. "Didja shay ] could have two drinksh an' stay out 'til twelve, or twelve drinks an' stay out 'til two?" Fresh-"Surveying a little? Soph Engineer-"No I Sur veying a lot." "Don't mention it," said the burglar, as he gagged the old man." 1 The druggist danced and chortled till the bottles danced on the shelves. "What's up? asked the soda clerk. "Have you been taking something?" "No. But do you remember when our water pipes were frozen last winter?". "Yes, but what-'-' "Well, the plumber who fix ed them has just come in to have a prescription filled."- - Ex. Tlhere are letters of accent, And letters of tone'; But the best of all letters Is to let her alone. -Ex. She (during quarrel) "You never deserved a wife like me!" He-"And I never deserved the rheumatism, but I got it just the same."-Ex. A bird told me a yarn yesterday While we were Clutching Our lunch from a Counter. About the girl who Was trapped on the roof Of a twenty-story Burning building And had no way of Escape Until the crowd Stared up at her And she walked down The stares.-Ex. "Sit down in front!" "I can't." "Man wants but little here below," said the fashion de signer as he lopped two more inches of the new spring styles in skirts." Her: "What are the wild waves saying?" Him: "Sh-h-h. Don't ask. It's very rough." Illustrious Lines. Clothes o'type. Fierce Dominion M. & St. L. Hitching Hohenzollern' of sight. Ocean er' Hart, Schaffner & Mark. Ex. Cold, dear? 'bout to freeze ! Want my coat, dear? Just the sleeves.-Ex. SIMPLE ENOUGH. The man had just informed the Pullman agent that he wanted a Pullman berth. "Upper or lower?" asked the agent. "What's the difference?" asked the man.. "A difference of fifty cents in this case," replied the agent. "The lower one is higher than the upper. The higher price is for the lower. If you want it lower, y'ou'll have to go higher. We sell the upper lower than the lower. In other words, the higher the lower. Most people don't like the upper, although it is lower on account of being higher. When you occupy an upper you have to get up to go to bed and get down when you want to get up. You can have the lower if you can pay higher. The upper is lower because it is higher. If you are willing to go higher it will be lower." But the poor man had faint ed.-Ex. Wingfield's Drug Store 1443 Main Street LOAF AT THE ARCADE BARBER SHOP ROOM3ARCADE;BUILDING WANTED-our friends and the boys at the Univer G ITTM ANS sity to know that we have left the Palmetto shp and have purchased the Arcade shop, where we are prepared to give the very best service. Give us a trial SHOP LEO and ALBERT MAYFIELD PROPRIETORS With acknowledgments to K. C. B. Hemry even carries rnaches now HENRY WAS "near." IN OTHER words, tight. HE CARRIED two packs. OF CIGARETTES. ONE FOR friend Henry. FULL OF "Satisfys." AND THE other containing. JUST ONE cigarette. AND THAT lone cigarette. WAS ALWAYS offered. TO SMOKELESS friends. WHO WERE all polite. AND REFUSED to take it. AND SOMEHOW Henry. WAS NOT popular. TILL ONE day by mistake. HE PULLED the full pack. AND EVERYONE fell on it. WITH LOUD cries of glee. HIS STRONG constitution. CARRIED HENRY through. " . f - AND DAY by day. HE GREW more popular. AND HENRY knew why. FOR HE'S nobody's dummy. -AND NOWAPhYS he not only. .- 0 * CARRIES THE cIgarettes... THAT SATISFY. BUT PORCES 'em on people. * IE yorfriends tereal GIVES AWAY packs of 'em ChestergedtrOdducare they'l ADSH UCKS. find just what you've found ANpDkge,f 0prfe d* e* in this wonderful Turkish by specil neoisture.-proof HENRY COULD run for Mayor, arti blen cm ario smk AiR -TIGHT tines ofo50. AND GET away with it now. ya "The tisfic e,,a