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WISE OR OTHERWISE. The best illustrated papei out-a bank note. A coat of arms is not protec tion against zero weather. A great many men aren't a; good as their friends think they are. There's no trouble in loving your neighbor as yourself if she's pretty. A Columbia baker wants tc know what is . the greatesi knead of the hour. A doctor's report would properly come under the head of the news of the weak. Many a woman who puff, going up stairs, can run up a bill without the slightest exer tion. When it is 1 minute after F o'clock it is past 8. When i1 is 30 minutes after 8 it is only half-past 8. What is the acid test for a woman? To pass by a barber shot without looking in. There is only one theft frorr which the thief and the robbec both derive pleasure-thf stealing of a kiss. Crosby (speaking to guarc at penitentiary) : "How ofter do you kill a man?" Guard: "Just once." Sam Derrick (at fashior show) : "What is the differencf between a dress and a gown?' Dr. Morse (standing near) "About $500." As yet the police have beer J. W. BRUNSOl SUITS PRESSED I Cleaning and Pr< 13 Main Street THE ARADE Wanted-our frier University to know ti metto shop, aind have shop, where we are p, best of service. Give LEO and ALBI CAROLINA STUDENT MADE A CAPTAIN. Lieutenant Gaines Iromoted in Reserve in Recognition of Overseas Service. Lieut. E. P. Gaines, pilot of the Carolina Aircraft corpora tion Wednesday received his commission, giving him the rank of captain in the reserve air forces of the United States. Captain Gaines' commission comes from the war depart ment in recognition of his ser vices overseas during the war. Captain Gaines left the Uni versity of South Carolina at the outbreak of the war during his freshman year. He had a long overseas experience and at one time was instructor of flying, at which he made a marked suc cess. Captain Gaines is recognized by his brother aviators as a flyer of exceptional ability, some saying that he was among the best in the American serv ice, as well as a young man of character and charming per sonality. His promotion will be a source of pleasure to his host of friends and admirers. unable to solve the mystery as to why Jim Sifford was mor tally wounded with a hat pin at the fashion show last week. Miss Wingfield: "Has any life been discovered on Ven us?" Prof. Smith: "This is a class in astronomy, not ento mology." 4 gills, 1 pint. 2 pints, 1 quart. 4 quarts, 1 gallon. 1 gallon, 2. fights. 2 fights, 1 judige. 1 judge, 3 months. , Mei chant Tailor WHILE YOU WAIT Assing Neatly Done Phone 216 BARBER SHOP ds and the boys at the Lat we have left the Pal purchased the Arcade repared to give the very us a trial. RT MAYFIELD arietora Capitol Cleaning and Pressing Co. 1211 1-2 Main St. Opposite Liberty National Bank Building WER EALLY PRESS 'EM AND RETURN THEM ON HANGER SUITS PRESSED WHILE YOU WAIT Peone 1394 J. M. MACK, Prop. GOODYEAR SHOE HOSPITAL W. D. LEVER, JR., Prop. Bring us your old Shoes We can put new life into them 2945 Phone 1117 Washington St. Clemson Agricultural College W. M. RIGGS. President. (a) Agriculture-Majors in: Agronomy, Botany, Chem istry, Animal Husb. & Dairying, Entomology, Veterinary Science, Horticulture, Soils. (b) Agricultural Education. (c) Agriculture, (d) Chemistry, (e) Chemical Engineer ing, (f) Civil Engineering, (g) Electrical Engineering, (h) Mechanical Engineering,** (i) Textile Engineering, (j) General Science. (Agri. & Ind. Arts Elective, Natural Science Elective, Physics & Chemistry Elective.) THE YOUNG MEN'S SHOP Boys another shipment of Stratford Overcoats and Suits has been received and a large range of new Shirtings so that the dent you have made in our stock is refilled awaiting your selection. Come in and make yourself at home. 1213 Gervais Street, Facing the Capitol "As Copeland Goes, So Goes the Fashion" LEARN THE WAY CLOTHING HATS FURNISHINGS Stylplus Stetson Everything Alco Trimble Seasonable Hirsh-Wickwire and Stylish Hole- Man proof rhattan Hoisery Shirts 1535 MAIN STREET, PHONE 301 MARMAC HOTEL European DINING ROOM Special Sunday Dinners Open Until Midnight Gervais Street Opposite Capitol F. D. McNULTY. Prop.