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WISE OR OTHERWISE Seehowalinelookswithout spaces. Co-eds usual guest-con quest. The Mills are now employ Ing chemists. Do you Wauchope the =teps to study English? Uneasy lies the head that tells a good many of them. If every bird was early there wouldn't be enuf worms to go around. Will the study of psychology produce Morse on your dome of thought? Misery may love company, but not any more than real happiness does. ADV.--Expert Club organ izer. No charges whatever. G. A. "Big Boy" Gullick. When "down in the mouth" remember Jonah. He came out all right. Adv.-Up-to-date tonsorial parlor variations in voice Reginald Gwendower Bell. The stars say Prof. Cole man will be an astronomer and enjoy gazing at heavenly bodies. We never knew a person to eat ordinary lumber, but we have known them to dine on shipboard. Soda Jerker: "What's yours?" Fresh Campbell: "Two chocolate milks, but don't put' any white of egg on mine." Court Crier Levin reaching the mess hall out of breath wanted to know if he had time to eat. He was told to put his watch under his plate and eat overtime. Zeddie Foy: "I was named after a great man-Zeddie Kiah Watkins." Miss Fallow: "That's noth ing, we've got a mule named after Woodrow Wilson." "Red" Webb (after barbe cue dinner) : "loss, did you eat much dinner today?" Race Horse: "No, I wasn't feeling well today. I believe a half bushel would have held all I ate." CAPTAIN SMITH RESIGNS E. B. Smith, captain and manager of the track team, tendered his resignation to the students assembled in their meeting on last Saturday. Mr. Smith stated that in view of the fact that most of his time was occupied elsewhere, he did not feel that he could devote enough time to the training of the team and the arranging of the games. Expressing deep regret, the body accepted the resignation. Mr. Smith is a live, wide-awake man and would have served excellently in the position from which he has resigned. It was moved that a new captain and manager be elect ed at once, as the training of the team has already begun. A. D. Mann was elected captain and Seaborn, Erwin and A. D. Mann were nominated for manager. These three men will appear before the Ath letic Advisory Board and one will be selected as manager. Professors L. T. Baker, J. A. Stoddard and Lucco Gunter left Saturday evening for Cleveland, Ohio, to attend a meeting of the National Educa tion Association. They will make a special study of their particular lines of work thru the large corps of workers sup ported thruout the country by the General Education Board of New York. Dr. Schayer: "Will you give me an example of acquired im munity?" Fresh: "I suffered from stomach ache before coming to college, but after eating at the mess hall I became immune." A student recently remarked that he would have to lock his door-he thought a friend of his across the hall was going "nuts." He was advised to bolt the door instead of locking it, and maybe the nut would hang on the bolt. Porter on car from Shandon, expecting generous tip from second lieutenant: "Good morning, Cap'n-show am a blizzardly dlay, ain't it?" (Later) : Ma.jor, dem is berry fine suite cases ob yoah's dere. (As car nears capitol) : "I'll take dem cases foah yer', Kun nel.'' (Getting off) : "Here dey is, Gennerl." After looking at the ten-cent tip, the porter calls: "Good bye, Corporal." J. W. BRUNSON, Met chant Tailor SUITS PRESSED WHILE YOU WAIT Cleaning and Pressing Neatly Done 13 Main Street Phone 216 Everything for Dances and Entertainments, Decora tions, Favors, Paper Hats, and Japanese Lanterns CLARENCE T. LANGLEY 602 Palmetto Bldg. COLUMBIA, S. C. THE ARCADE BARBER SHOP Wanted-our friends and the boys at the University to know that we have left the Pal metto shop, and have purchased the Arcade shop, where we are prepared to give the very best of service. Give us a trial. LEO and ALBERT MAYFIELD Proprietors University of South Carolina Founded by the State in 1801 in the Capital City The University is organized with the following divisions: I. School of Arts and Science, with various courses of study in Languages, History, Secience, etc., leading to the degree of A. B. and B. S. General Scholarships worth from $100 to $150 each. II. School of Education, which seeks to prepare per sons to serve the State as teachers, principals, and superintendents of schools. In this course the A. B. is the degree conferred. III. Graduate School, with advanced courses leading to the degree of Master of Arts. IV. School of Civil Engineering, leading to C. E. V. School of Law, with course leading to the degree of LL. B. The presence of the various courts and the use of the State Law Library afford exceptional facili ties. VI. Military Science and Tactics. Regular drill five times a week. Class-room instructions. Uniforms and Equipment furnished by the U. S. Government. Reserved Officers' Training Corps. VII. New Coupses: Rural Social Science; Hygiene and Sanitation; English Bible: Business Administration. College fees for the year, $37, including medical atten tion. For women college fees are only $26. For those paying tuition, $40 additional. Room, with light and service, $20 a year. Loan funds available. For catalogue address W. S. CURRELL, President, Columbia, . C.