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KAISER GETS LETTER FROM CHIEF ADVISER The Gamecock recently rep. roduced an article by Eugene H. Blake of Greenwood. Below is another which he contributed to the Vigilantes, a national Patriotic publicity organiza tion: "Imperial Yacht, River Styx, "My Dear Kaiser: I have followed the Styx sev en times around Hades looking for sailors to send up to help man your submarines. But they all refuse, although I did come near signing up Captain Kidd, who has been here since 1701. " 'Kidd', I told him. 'Wilhelm of Prussia is in trouble. He of fers extra pay, longer fur loughs and special food to Ger man sailors to man his subma rines, but they don't like the work. Here's a chance, for a good job. You can take your crew up, command a German submarine and sink more ships in a day than you ever destroy ed in your life time.' "He seemed to like the idea until he had talked with some of his crew - Bartholomew Roberts, who came down in 1722 after his battle with Cap. tain Chaloner on the African coast, Captain Every and a Ma lay pirate who is an especial friend of Kidd's. Finally he came back to me and said he wouldn't go. I told him you were one of the best friends and helpers, but all I could get out of him was that his crew would mutiny if they had to kill women and children. 'Wil helm's submarining is too dir ty,' he kept repeating. 'I'd rather stay in Hades.' "I'm sorry I haven't been able to send you a crew from here, but that is the way the matter stands. "Beelzebub." "Yours for victory, Beelzebub." ORATORICAL CONTEST HELD IN GREENWOOD J. II. Martin was Carolina's representative at the meeting last Friday in Rock Hill of the executive committee of the In tercollegiate Oratorical Asso (ciation. Though charmed and flattered by the invitation of Winthrop that the State ora torical contest be heldl there he membhlers of the committee dlecidled to hold the meeting in G reen wood. This dlecision was thought adlvisahle because of the more central location of that city. The meeting will be held on the thirdl Friday in A pril. The committee arranged the p)recedence of speakers in the SCARCITY OF COAL FELT BY STUDENTS It is said many of the stu dents are experiencing difficul ty in obtaining coal. None of the soft variety is to be had, the dealers reporting that ship ments contracted for have been held up for various reasons. This situation is particularly distressing to those students who are not so fortunate as to occupy rooms in dormitories heated by steam. A member of the faculty suggests that should the situa tion become desperate beyond other remedy Davis College might be placed at the disposal of students for study purposes. This building is equipped with a steam heating plant. "At least the plan is feasible," said he. Note: Since the above was written the board of trustees has authorized Marshal Ben Haile to sell University coal in limited amounts to students. The board also authorized Davis College and the literary to be opened at night for use until the situation is improved. TEACHERS' PROBLEMS SUBJECT OF BULLETIN The latest of the series of bulletins on subjects of gener al interest being issued by the University is that on "The Status of the Teaching Profes sion." This bulletin is a re print of the report of a commit tee from the State Teachers' Association composed of Prof. Patterson Wardlaw, Prof. W. H. McNairey and Miss Lois Er Vin. The committee reports in de tail on the conditions which render the life of a teacher un attractive. The bulletin enum erates among many others the following: Insufliciency of salary, lack of provision for old age, insta bility of tenure of position, small professional respect and unpleasant personal relations. Who would mind being a soldier when he knew a bunch of "C. C." girls were knitting for him back home? contest, it b)eing decided Caro linia should be first, followed in order by Erskine, Clenmon, Newberry, Wofford, Citadel, Presbyt erian College, Furman University andl College of Charleston. The committee met ini the as sembly hall at Winthrop and( was given a rec eption Friday evenimg. Globe Dry Goods Co. College Boys' Trade Solicited Cleaning a Operated 8--SUITS F Regardless of Time THE VALE 825 Main Street DEPOSIT YOUR r , National Loan an OF COLU? Capital - - - Surplus and undivided pr Deposits - - EDWIN W. ROBErSON, Pres. G. M. BERRY, Cashier The Shoe WI The College ATSO N' EAR ITHOUT ORRY WATSON'S SHOE COMI Meet Me at Tapps WE WANT ' and as SOLELYI SEE US FIRST for all M always have a most complet< Handkerchiefs, Half Hose an Military Goot THE JAMES L. Corner Main and Blanding TYPEW SPECIAL STU Opportunity to Purchase Stand How to Order a Machine This company makesi a specialty of aelling type writers and supplies direct to students, and is in a position to furnish iult what he wishre at low e,t eonsistent prices. That thet student zmiay be perfectly' satisfied with the make and mixlel oif machine he puurchiases, we will exchahge any macline within six moths if dlate purchased without charge. For example, if he orders ai ihm Eington, andl later dEIcidi on aiiI Monarc h or Il(derw<swl, or aniy otheir maike, we li In rertin ec~ IEify maEke muiil maxllel deIsiedE. tiend deposit of $101. up~on receipit of whaichl we will Shipl thlE minOeiIi. and after satisfactory in 5JpectionE, send( uEs balance of tricE,. If E ust isfac toiry. dleposlit will h. refEundEed, or typewriter ex Ehiage, a reEluestedl. ALL MACHINES FL University T: Washingtnn . C., The College Fruit Store Hot and Cold Drinks in Season Fruits, Candles and Tobacco We Want Your Trade nd Pressing by Students OR $1.00--8 Uniforms Washed and Pressed r COMPANY R. D. MILLER, Mgr. IONEY WITH THE d Exchange Bank viBIA, S. C. - - $500,000.00 >fits - $370,000.00 - - $3,800.000.00 T. B. STACKHOUSE. Vice-Pres. C. CATHCART. Asst. Cashier thout the Hurt Boys' Shoe 5.50 and 12.00 the pair 'ANY, Greater Columbia Meet Me at Tapps 'OUR TRADE k for it [N MERIT en's Furnishing Goods. We line of Shirts, Collars, Ties, I Underwear. Is a Specialty. TAPP COMPANY Columbia, S. C. RITERS DENT OFFER ard Typewriter at Student Rate Visible Writing Latest Model Numbers No. 10 REMINGTONS No. 4-5 UNDERWOODS No. 2-3 MONARCHS No. 2 L. C. SMITHS No 10. SMITH PREMIERS. etc. Special Student Rate: $34.50 We also offer the following at special rate: No. 3-5 OLIVERS No. 1-2 ROY A LS 824.50 TPhose dlesiring n inexpensive, yct serviceable anl reliable machine should consider the following iunvisable writers: No. 6-7 REMINGTONS No.2.-4 SMITH PREMIERS $14.50 We' funs instructions and practice books with each machine. Any style of type, special keyboard or length of carrriage w ithouit add(itional charge. LLY GUARANTEED vpewriter Co. 2460 Ontario Rad