The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, February 24, 1912, Page 6, Image 6
A PROTEST.
I thought I had finished "Inside
Dope"
And was hoping to retire,
But now I am back as a white man's
hope,
For the last "When" I don't ad
mire.
A game chick, just in full bloom,
Thinking lie would be bright,
Used another's noni de plume,
Which we won't tolerate one mite.
Now when you read "Gamecock"
dope
And find another "When,"
You will be considerate, I sincerely
hope,
And credit my obliging friend.
"Inside Dope."
A REPLY.
Because the last "When" didn't take,
Don't be subject to cold feet;
Be calm, you'll some day be a poet,
Sit steady in the seat.
Straight Tip.
Beelzebub Telegraphs From Brim
stone Alley.
The following telegram has been
received by the Editor of THE
GAMECOCK from the dark and shad
owy regions of the lower world, and
it is published in the certain knowl
edge that it will prove of interest to
many on the campus. The message
reached here on the asbestos wires
of the Post-hell Telegraph Company.
It follows:
Erebus, Brimstone Alley,
February 19, 1912.
Dear old Editor:
I am requested by his Satanic
Majesty to convey to you and yours
the ineffable pleasure which lie has
experienced in the work on the cam
pus this year. He bids me hand to
Carolina red-hot bunches of con
gratulation. The Devil has often
been mindcl to rise from his sulphur
couch and pay you a visit. Especial
ly would he enjoy rambling in rumi
nating reminiscence through the dear
shadows of Monte Carlo, where lie
could extract from out the white
wash the poker accents of a by-gone
age. But, alas, his excellency is kept
busy with the new arrivals. His
Imperial Fire is considering seri
ously of increasing the number of
his secret agents on the campus, for
lie has found that his lone represen
tative, Mr. Bob Purdhy, indulges in
too much senitimental slush to be
reliable. The Devil has high recoin
nmendations of Mr. A. G. H-art for
this -position, but is afraid of such
developments for the amply suffi
cient reason that the Pitchfork Po
tentate wvouldI keep the Hadlean graft
to himself. Please extend the kind
regards of my master to the presi
dent and officers of the Woodlrow
Wilson League. He only regrets
that a previous promise to T. R. will
prevent his helping their cause.
I hope that you are enjoying more
moderate weather than we are. It is
impossible to tell you the exact de
gree of heat, for our thermometers
have long since been vaporized.
How we did envy you your recent
snow! It may be, dear friend, that
I can visit you in the near future,
for our concern is planning branch
headquarters in Charleston since the
racing has begun there. However.
don't think for one moment that we
are seeking to secure options upon
any Charleston people, for we feel
that our regions would become a
torment to us through the many
defects Charlestonians would find
here. We are after some of the
Yankees hibernating there.
Hoping to hear from you and ex
pressing to you the Devil's high per
sonal esteem,
In torment yours,
Beelzebub.
Oh! Beautiful Spring.
Away down South
Where's "the fountain of youth,"
In the land of the flowers,
Springing from the earth's bowers,
We travel over the fields
On the flowers which it yields.
In Dixie's land,
With its hills of sand,
There are orchards of fruit
And many gardens of sooth,
Where the lovers do sing
In the beautiful spring.
Where wooers can woo.
James DeTreville.
A brave attempt at poetry, it
must be admitted I The nerve of
the author must be admired. But
he should quit the poetry business.
It is not his line.
Join a matrimonial bureau, young
man ; you are in love and yet you are
not; you want to love and yet you
are not a lover. It is said that faint
heart never won fair lady, but cer
tainly poetry like this will never
win the hand of a charming damsel.
Start a cannery and make use of
those orchards of fruit, but first of
all can this "poem."
DO'S AND DON'TS.
You'd better attend your classes,
And study your lessons well,
Or the Dean'll have you in his office,
And he'll give you hell.
You'd better quit flirting wvith the
lad ies,
For they'll get you in the worst
of trouble;
WVhen examinations come in early
spring,
Your wvork you'll have to dlouble.
You'd bet tcr put your mind on your
lessons,
And do each day's work wvell;
Acquit yourself as a true Carolin
ian,
And you will surely excel.
J. L. Greene.
Billy Beard, the real singer of real
songs, at the Lyric.
BIRD
Prof. Davis: "Mr. Passailaigue,
have you read Shakespeare's Rich
ard 3?" /
Mr. Passailaigue: "Yes, sir."
Prof. Davis: "Give the class the
most famous quotation that you
found in this work."
Mr. Passailaigue: "A horse, a
mule, my country for a jackass."
Passailaigue's lady, who has just
returned from a Citadel dance in
Charleston and who has been given
an excellent time: "Oh, Mr. Dutchy,
how did you ever leave the Citadel?"
Pass "- - - By request."
The all-absorbing question in
Monte Carlo at present is: "Billie
Cop, what made you do it ?"
Bob Owens says that the reason
he lost his case in Moot Court is
that the jury failed to heed the call,
"Ship a-Hoey."
BOOKKEEPING -:- SHOR'
Learn Your Business Co
Have the Satisfacti
Attende
25% Discount Allowed Unive
Best Courses; I
WV lll
Planirgithe utu
- Eg ting lterbutno
plaue or -ieFtms
20 or gi;^gi;fg/
15ceta?q e nehee
SEED A
Brother Woodrow, Toots Ehrlich
and Gilbert Newman spent the 22nd
on a dove shoot at Ft. Motte.
Brother reports dove hunting more
profitable than clear hunting.
Prof. Mitchell: "Now, Mr. Mills,
yes, thank you, what were the imme
diate causes of the French Revolu
tion, yes?"
Big Mills: "The failure of the
czar to grant woman suffrage."
Professor Thomas: "Now, Mr.
Alexander, suppose that the Judge
were to ask you such a question,
how would you answer him?"
Alex. blurted out: "I wouldn't be
afraid of him, Professor."
Such an expression in some juris
dictions would be considered an
"admission against interest," but
here it is termed a "self-serving
declaration."
'HAND TYPEWRITING
urse at Our College, and
on of Knowing You
d the Best
rsity Men. Call in to See Us
3est Reputation
4/ dAumbial S. C.
ev