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JOHN HOEY'S CIRCUS PLAYED IN COLUMBIA Punk Exhibition Given on Gibbes's Green Last Tuesday-Part of Troupe Left in Atlanta. Billed far and wide as the most wvonderfui attraction on the face of the globe, John Hloey's Greater Shows visited Columbia last Tties day, exhibiting on Gibbes Green. The massive walls of the huge white tent stretched from Davis college to LeConte hall, from Bull street to Pickens. Long before the hour for the opening of the doors thousands eagerly purchased. tickets at the ex orbitant price of 38 cents. At 2 p. m. the doors were thrown open and the crowd surged in. Soon after wards Mr. Hocy, clad in a Prince Albert, a huge dialond stud in a red cravat and pants rolled up "nigh" unto his knees, mounted an Ivory Soap box and in stentorian tones announced that the performers of the "big show" were left in Atlanta while eating sandwiches at the depot, and referred the multitude to two little tents pitched in the rear. He refused to refund the 38 cents and said that tickets to the two other shows were worth ten cents each. Mr. Ioey told in glowing terms of the wonders to be seen in the annex and of how the girls of Alan Johnstone'. Dancing show were so graceful. The 38 cents was forgot ten by all except "Fresh" Welch, who cried when the refund was re fused. In the annex were sights long to be remembered. There was "Punch" Ehrlich, the baby hippo. seated by "Pete" Bouchier, the tallest man on earth. The speiler, Prof. Nat Ken nedy, arrayed in a purple collar and a black and white vest, told the mob of the wonders they were enjoying, of the rare privilege they were hav ing to see such a grand show for the 'small sum of a dime, ten cents. "This w\ay,'' he said, pointing to Red Wing Todd. "This gentleman is the world's greatest liar. He has no eqtial in the whole universe and we challenge anyone to compete with him." No one dlaredl accept the chialIlen ge. One of the features was the Gold Dust Twins, Manager Mull and Norwvood. Prof. Kennedy (dwelt at length on t:he next p)resentation. "M. A. Wright," lie saidl, "is the famous chicken charmer. IHe is the only man livin who can hypnotize fowvls by temoonlight." I-I referred the crowd to Dr. Tw'~itchell, as a refer ence. Joe English, "the butter--head lady," sold her p)ictures at 10 cents each, but failed to find a Columbian who wvould buy one. This part of the show was undoubtedly a fake. At least English looked like a fake. Seeing that they were gloriously stung, the audience sought refuge in the dancing girls' tent. Alan John stone's description of the girls was irresistible. "There's Mad ame Crowther," lie speiled, "the artistic little lady with the superb figure and willowy form; to the left, dashing "Bob" Purdy, who does the grizzly bear, and next the charming Widder Hart, who does the Salome on the top of beer keg; and then, gentlemen, ah, look at this. Petit George Finklea, the most graceful dancer of the present dec ade." Then Johnstone paused. "Gather up close, men," lie whis pered. "The real feature of the show, the grand star is Signori Uriali Brinson, the lady who does the Egyptian dance. Tickets are ten cents." But now the show is over. Circus (lay is a thing of the past. And al though the show was "rotten," no doubt if it ever returns, the smell of the sawdust and the charm of the big white tents will attract many of the same crowd within its doors. "The public likes to be,humbugged," said the late P. T. Barnum. Cer tainly Hoey carried out his sugges tion. Will Contest at Pool for Topshe Col lege Grand Trophy Prize. Topshe College has announced that the grand trophy prize pool con test will be held on next Tuesday evening in the billiard parlors of that historic institution. A small admis sion will be charged to defray the expenses. Each year this is the warmest con test held at the Topshe school, and interest grows each day in the com ing event. A preliminary contest was held last night to decide the teams, resulting in the following selections: Peanut Society, "Punch" Albert Juicy Ehrlich of Columbia and "Brother" Fitz William Mc Master Woodrow of Mars Hill, N. C.; Lemon Society, "Farmer" Otto Moore of McConnellsville, York County, and "Actor" T. K. Vassey of Gaffney. The man on the win ning team making the most balls will receive the handsome prize. Hornick of Charleston is an Accom plished Musician-But. H-ornick of Charleston, one of the new men on the campus, is an acconi plished musician. H-e has a large repertoire of classical and p)opular selections. It is amazing to kniow that he cani pick out on the piano with one finger something like 11i parts of as iiaiiy pieces. A few afteriioons ago lhe enter tainedl the large crowdc gathered in the reading room at Flinn Hall with the entire list and it wvas the univer sal verdict that lhe "certainly do play wvell." During the concert lie only hit 23 wvrong notes, but kindly re peated the line in each case that the audience would get full benefit of his remarkable tent. BIRD For "Stamps" see Mr. Bob Owens. Fresh Weinberg-"'ho is your favorite author?" Fresh Green-"Dickens. Don't you think he's fine ?" Weinberg-"He's good, but don't you think McMillan Co. has him skinned a little?" Freshman (at mess hall) "What's the matter with this piece of steak ? It's not half as good as that you gave us yesterday." Waiter-"That's strange, it's off the same piece." Dick Reeves (after being placed in communication with the doctor at Infirmary over telephone and tells of his severe pains and occasional nausea)-"What's the best thing for me to do, Doctor?" At that moment the operator alters switch by mistake ind unlucky Dick receives this reply of a mechan ical engineer in answer to inquiries of mill owner here in the city: "I think the inside is lined with excoriations to a considerable thick ness. Let it cool during the night and in the morning just before firing tip take a heavy hammer and pound it vigorously. Then get a hose with strong pressure from the main and let it play freely on the parts af fected." Dick-"Oh, for goodness sake !" Fresh Spencer was purchasing tickets to Fritzi Scheff in "The Duchess." "I want a seat down stairs," he told the ticket seller. "Would you like to sit down in front ?" queried the man. "'Vell, not much," was Spencer's reply. I saw Esau kissing Kate, The fact is we all three saw, For I saw Esau, he saw me, And she saw I saw Esau. -Selected. For data relative to "car fare" see Robt. L. Owens. Big Jno. Mills and Frowvsie Bill W'ent out hunting some quail to kill, Wvoc wvas the hunt, woe was the day, The quail lived on in their usual way. Dr. Morse-"Mr. Purdy, wvhat do we make from ivory ?" Bob-"Why, Professor, soap, of course." The time--always; the place--The Lyric. Goor1 pictures. SEED\wj Darkey-"Mister, will some one tell me whar dat building called de 'Campus' am ? I'se a bundle fer hit." "Shall I brain him?" said the Soph. And the victim's courage fled. "You can't; he is a Freshman, Just hit him on the head." -Selected. Druggist-What do you want? Negro Woman-Ah wants to git some lime, mistah, to limigate mah house, an' den I'se gwine ter sen' mah chilluns ter de doctor an' hab 'em 'sassinated, den dey ca'n' ketch nuttin' but celluloid.-Re-Dick-ulous Reeves. "SMILE." Do not give up when things go wrong, Put on a bright face, fill your heart with a song, Remember that others have met trouble in the way, So why let a trifle cast gloom o'er the day? The troubles will soon pass and the sun will shine, So why sit all day and o'er your troubles pine? Then cheer up, my boy, put on a cheery smile, It will do you good, and is certainly worth while. J. L. G. A running account should not be left Standing. A drinking man will clutch to a straw.-Ex. ON FIRST LOOKING INTO ROTH ROCK'S TRIG. (With Apologies.) Much have I traveled in the realms of doubt, And guessed at many things I did not know; Round many questions have I eas'd with show Of confidence, and left all knowl edge out. Oft of a darksome Trig. had I about Been told, wvhere Colcock ruled, as years ago, In all his high omnipotence; but lo! The things I met when on the wind ing route: Then felt I like some watcher of the skies When a newv planet swims into his ken And knocks the earth from under him, and then Is told to calculate, beyond surmise, The angle that the spheres described when They left him there among infinities. Educational and instructive-The Lyric.