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THE WIDDER LIGHTS AFTER LONG FLIGHT A. G. Hart, in All Her Glory, Hit the Floor When String Was Cut-A Pitiable Scene. While the crowd discussed the game late Thursday night in Charleston, the talk was sud denly interrupted by a terrific fall. The Widder had lit. Since her elevation to the managership of the Carolina football team, the esteemed Augustus has been traveling above ground with a string tied to her heel, to avoid entirely floating off. At times she has risen to a distance of 20 feet, but the average for the year was about four feet, or one yard one foot. When the last whistle blew in the Thanksgiving game, and the football enthusiasts with their colors of Gar net and Black and Blue and White left the field at Hampton Park, Mer ry Widow's managerial job ended, and she began to softly, yes, gently, drop to terra firma. But the final alighting did not occur until late that night, and such a scene it was. Surrounded by fair ladies, citizens of Charleston and men of Carolina, the Widder .hit the floor with awful force. She rubbed her eyes and then cried out in a pleading voice, "Where am I; oh, where am I?" The crowd gathered around her. "What's the matter?" she yelled, at the top of her voice; "Vhat has happened ?" "You've lit at last," said one brave representative. "But the string," cried the Wid der, "who cut it ?" and she carried on similar to that memorable class game of several seasons ago. She was picked up and carried from the St. John Hotel lobby. "What a pity," sighed the ladies. "What a blessing," chirped the men. Red Wing Todd Got Away With His Own Load of Coal. One of the very coldest days of this week, Red Ving Todd put in an order with a local coal and wood house for a load of fuel. NOW, it was a little late when Red 'phoned in the order, and he did not think the coal would arrive until the next morning. That night ab)out Jo o'clock Red lbreezed out on the campus. In pass ing one of the trees in front of Rut ledge he stumped his toe on some coal. "A great idea," he thought to himself, "I will get help and cop this coal." Hie did, Veatherstone being the lucky p)artner. Red Wing and Featherstone pa tiently carried the coal uip. H-alf of it wvent to Featherstone's r.oom and half to Todd's. The next morning Todd waitecd patiently for his load of fuel to arrive nne not oing so by dinner time, he 'phoned- to cancel the order. "That coal was delivered yester day," said the man. Red hung up the receiver with a doleful air. He had helped steal his own coal. THE LYRIC The programs at the Lyric for the past week have been excellent. The cozy little theatre has attracted many, including a number of the University students. Carolina men are much in evidence in the audi ences each day. The programs for the coming week have been carefully selected and the manager has some real treats in store for his patrons. Good pictures-warm theatre The Lyric. Sophomores Held Mebting in Chapel Monday Afternoon. The Sophomores, class of 1914, held an important meeting in the chapel at 2:45 o'clock Monday afternoon. Mixon of Charleston was elected captain of the football team to compete in the class games, and Walling was elected assistant water boy. Allan Paul of Beaufort was elected manager at a previous meet ing. As sponsor Miss Carroll, one of the fair co-eds of the campus, was elected, without opposition, unani mously. Hornick of Charleston was delegated'as water boy, and attempt ed to make a speech. The class be ing unable to stand such terrible agony, it was moved that he be ejected from the rostrum. Hornick did not move, and when the meeting adjourned was still standing on the chapel platform. Debating Council Meets and Prepare to Arrange Contests. The debating council that was re cently formed here met for its first time last Tuesday. The principal topics discussed and passed were: T. S. McMillan was instructed to meet the debating representatives of Davidson and Trinity colleges. Spartanburg, Rock Hill and Greenville were suggested as possible cities to meet Davidson and Char lotte for Trinity in a debating coni test. Last of February to middle of March wvas suggested as p)roper~ time for holding these contests. Queries will be submnittedl and sides chosen as soon as p)ossible. The officers of this council are: D)r. S. C. Mitchell, president; Dr. G. A. Wauchope, vice-president; Prio f. L. T. Baker, second vice-pres ident; T. S. McMillan, sccretary; T. S. McMillan, D. C. H-eustess and C. K. Culp from the Clariosophic So ciety, and F. WV. Cappelnmann, A. HI. \'Villiams and Alan Johnstone from the Euphrnelian Socety. BIRD Sligh-Dave, you are looking well today. Gaston-Yes, very; J/m looking for a blamed freshm,an that owes me two bits. Rosenburg-What did that cigar cost you? Fresh Levy-Two bits (shifting his cap to another angle). Rosenburg-Gosh, that's about the most expensive smoke you could get, unless you smoke coal. Hunter (tapping at Phinny's door at 2 o'clock at night)-I just came to tell you I can't pay back that dol lar tomorrow as I promised. I couldn't sleep for thinking of it. Phinny-Well, why the deuce didn't you wait till then to tell me? Now I won't be able to sleep either. Sam Owens (reading paper at breakfast table)-Huh, who's the editor of this paper? McMillan-Don't ktiow, why? Sam-He seems to be slightly off. I see here he says that a trust is an octopus. Tommy-You're right, lie is. Why, a octopus is a-a-yes, it's a man that looks in your eye and charges you five bones for it. Sam-Ah, beat it; it's a piece of the year-August, September and Octopus. M. M. Johnson-In passing through Dr. Joynes' back yard last night I stumbled over an obstacle in the darkness and picked up some thing seemingly very hard and heavy. I carried it carefully and quickly to my room and turned on the light, and by gosh, it was an armful of wood." Ott Moore (introducing John M. to his lady friend a few nights past) -Here's a friend I have with me who has a sprained ankle named Mills. Lady-What is his other ankle's name. Teacher to Class-What does the word "unaware" mean ? Little Girl-I know; it's what you take off the last thing before you put your nightie on. Fresh Levy is rapidly acquiring fame as a Marathon runner. Fresh Charles-Mr. Mills, wvho was Cyrus's father ? Mr. Mills-I don't remember, Charles; I think it was Methusalah. Why is TIodd taking first French ? For the answver see Fresh Dixon Pea rce. HeI knows. Always a good show--sometimes a great show-..e Lri., SEED 4. 4.++$4+ Dick-A pail of water was ar rested today. Fresh Sligh-What for? Reeves-Dummy! for being full. Fresh Perkins is composing a se ries of poems, the most touching of which are: "The Curfew Told Me I Must Go Away," "It Might Have Been," and "Where Was Perkins When the Light Went Out ?" What's the matter with Chas. and Brohun? You can get a "Reason" from Charleston. -I'd rather be a Could Be If I could not be an Are, For a Could Be is a May Be With a chance of touching far. I'd rather be a Has Been Than Might Have Been by far, For a Might Have Been has never been, But a Has was once an Are. -Selected. THE FRESHMAN. Who plays poker in the middle of the night? Who comes from the dispensary in a terrible plight? Who goes up the street in joyful mood, But hangs his head when called a dude? The Freshman. Who goes to church every Sunday morn, The front row of the balcony to adorn? Who sings every hymn, whether old or new, And if he makes a mistake swears that it's you? The Freshman. Who props his feet on another man's chair, A form of ill manners that no one can bear? Who always butts in at exactly the wrong time, A thing unpardonable as well as a crime? The Freshman. J. L. Greene. The best motion pictures daily. The Lyric. Rembert--And you came from Arizona? Mulrphy--Yes, woukdn't you? Prof.--When w~as the Revival of Learning? Student-Before the last Exams. -Ex. HeI who courts and runs away may live to court another clay, But lie who courts and does not wed has to conic to Court instead.