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THE COSMOPOLITAN CLUB. Very Lively Meeting of This Distin guished Body-A Literary Feast. At 7:45 lmost of the Cosiopolites were in their seats ready for business. There was the usual "bluzz" of conver sation on all sides as a small Ladd who acted as Page in the abselce of Cordie approached the Nlani stationed at the door and tilmli(ly ill(luired: "Say, shall I ring the Belser "Of course, and you'd better get blusy at olice, too." Soon the familiar tones plinctured the atmosphere, and ere the clanging had ceased the few tardv members were occupying their accustomed places. h'lie presiding Officer then rapped with his "Mace for order and called ulponi the Rector for a brief in vocation. It was then announced that the object of the meeting was to pro Ilote a reviv,al of Homeric poetry. not merely as an end iii itself, but as a dis tinict protest against the doggerel and drivel that is now daily offending the taste of the cultured. To launch the movement properly anid practically, it had been deemed best to enlist the in terest of several poets of eminence. who had kindly consented to signalize the occasion by reading a few speci mens of classical verse. TIhis announcement .was greete(l with prolonged applause. after which a lean and leariied gentleman of a very melancholy aspect was iiitro(uce(, an read the following lies "We pledge the health of each and all Who love old U. S. C.; 'o 1Vame and Fortune may they tind The openi sesame! "-here is our Hlart and here our Hanl, Yo -,-iot ask for Moore! . I his be not enough, s Aloore, and Moore!" r. President." the Poet said, 'Nevermore,' but .40's classic shades it is 'Ver ,-e.' There is Logical and Theo logical toore, Bio-logical Mloore, and the third can logically be no less, as le is still Moore-in Law and fact ftirtliernore" I fere the Sergeant-at-Arms inter posed and led the poor fellow away to Doctor Babcock, but as they crossed the camipus the Poet could be heard singing inl a high and squeaky treble To t'. S. c. "The hours speit amid thy shades Shall form a golden sheen Thy very Bain otur blessing is, We'll keep thy memory Green. "Our Baker serves the best brain-food, Hie uses standlardl) bani's; We have Co-eds to turn otur heads A\nd stir our Potts and( p)ans." Tlhere was a profound hush for the sp)ace of a minute. Then resolutions of respect were adloptedl enthusiasti c'ally, after which another poet was in trodutcedl. ile was WVise (otherwvise), but now souIght to read an apost rophle to "Pros perity," a comipanlion piece to "Adver sity." The attemplt, was frustrated, notw~it hstanding his earniest p)rotesta tionl that there were more meni engaged in th,e siege of lProsperity than of Troy. Thuts foiled, lie recovered his ?Olilosnre .and lreirirccl tia chair "Mr. President, over in our flourish ing burg, there onice lived a young lady whom I'hoped to put, or rather, make \Vise" Miss Jenima Galloway, she was tntil a worthless fellow came along and married ier. To console Imyself I penned this soul-stirring stanza: "I loved a lass and oft implored That she w*%otld name the day; Vntil a rival came along And took my Gallaway!" There was not a dry eye in the audi ence. Strong men wvept wvith emotion. saturated their handkerchiefs and wept again. Fiinally a resolution of sym pathly was tnianimously adopted, with (nly (ne disseiting vote, that of the Ole Married man present. Another poet was now presented, and proceeded as follows: "A young fellow Went to the Fair With only a dollar to spair. I le fell in with a row Of girl.friends at a show, And soon he was up in the air." I1I KIEWI-st h'liere once w-as a fat man named 'Iaughed. Who smiled until every one laughed. For the time all forgot The proverbial blot )n our 'scutcheon, Republican graugheld! .\LSO. Billy Taft in his oration rair I Paid a tribute unique to the Fair 'Tis but fair tho' to add That what Billy hadd In his mind then was not the State Fair! I-'IRT -II RMoI.:" "Mr. President," interjected a note( artist who periodically paints the town red and the monument black, "that stuff is totally (levoid of rhyme or rea son, humor or pathos, meter or merit" "One moment, please," broke in the Fair poet. "If you will permit, I shall read youi a verse in which even you, carping critic that you are, will find 'merit.' Listen: "Tliere once was a man of great 'merit,' Who (alwa s afraid he might terit),. \Vore his coat 'neath his vest, Which his friends thought a jest, -ait no other way would he werit." This masterpiece was hailed with chairs. but the poet (darted through a side dloor andl escapedl. The meeting then adjourned, amid great confusion. G. R. P., Law, '10. Life. WVorldls of glory, starry skies, All will quickly pass away. The violet lives, the violet (lies; And roses fade today. The children young, the children gay, Like little flowers bloom, They live, they act, they sing, they prayv. Then others take'their room. F. WV. S. Subscribe to TFHE GAM mCC U5he UNIVE] SQUTH CA FOUNDED BY THE STATE IN 1 4L Spacious campus, commodious athletic field. University life between faculty and students, ca vidual student, public opinion of as regards gentlemanly conduct and physical culture. THE GENIUS OF THE UIN The health and morals of the yc of the governing authorities. Varied courses of study in Scienc Civil and Electrical Engineering, in road construction. Forty-two scholarships, each wc tuiticy, Tuition remitted in spei The advantages offered by the I in this section. 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