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L_THE SERj ECHOES BLISSFUIL IGNORANCE. McCall (at the Senate)-"Murry, who is that man in the Speaker's chair?" Murry-"Why, that's Thomas G. McLeod." McCall-"Why, I thought McLeod was lieutenant-goyernor of the State I" * * HE HAD RED SOMETILING. Prof. Davis-"Mr. Russell, have you ever read Shakespeare?" "Red" Russell-"No, sir." Prof. Davis-"Or Tennyson, or Scott ?" "Red" Russell--"No, sir." Prof. Davis-"Well, what have you read ?" "Red" Russell (meekly)-"I have red hair, sir." * * IMPORTED SPECIMENS. "Paris" Green-"Parlez-vous Fran caise ?" "Lustige Witwe" Hart - "Ich sprache es." * * REPARTEE. Buic the Big-"Say, kid, does your mother know you are up on Main street ?" Mullins the Midget-'Yes, and she gave me a cent and a half to buy the biggest .fool I met. Are you for sale ?" WABBLES FOR THE BIRD Young Wyche from Prosperity Once got on the - of a spree, And now he declares With eyes in his tears He'll touch nothing stronger than tea. An hypierote is old George Topshe, He told me he ne'er took a dropshe, But on brandy and sherry He once got so merry That they had to call in a copshe, Red Russell, whose morals are lax, Once went to a joint known as "Jack's." le bough.t him some corn; Drank it till near morn They brought him home in two hacks. A PRIZ Is Offered to the the Best College 3 of April. The Y< in the Gamecock as The Following Mer Will Act as Judges B. Manning, C. "I Oliphant and R. M Competitors Will Leave ti don, 3 E. Legare or A. D rOUS SIDE In Necessity WhIlien the 'night is calm and still, When to study 'tis your will, And upon the campus near Comes a cry that fills with fear E'en the far off Bengal lion Then there'd be no harm in tryin' A gun on poor Fresh. Mace; Because, in such a case, It is necessity, And thus such things must be. When the clay is dark and drear, And Russell, "Red," approaches near; When to see him you do wish, And in vain you're not to fish Among the lofty soaring skies, There "ain't no use" in straining eyes. So, a glass, 'tis best to use, For one's eyes do not confuse; Then, in necessity, Such things must sure so be. When Merry Widow's voice resounds Within the campus' lonely bounds, And in your brain a strain Of music can't remain For e'en a minute's relapse, Why then most certainly, perhaps, A dose of good morphine Would bring one joy serene. And, in necessity, No harm in this could be. If, after exams. have passed by, And left you still awondering why Your name not on the list appears, And of reports you have your fears, Sometimes it seems most good to know That, like the winds, your troubles'll go, If a (lose of booze you'll take For the good old exam's. sake. Since-in necessity, No harm in this could be. X. Fred Stem, one of the best first base men in the big leagues, paid Carolina a visit last Sunday on his way North to report to his team, the Boston Na tionals. Are you trying for The Gamecock prize ? E OF $5 Student Originating lell Before the First 11ls Will Be Printed they are Handed in. Offer the Prize and Coach Dick Reid, .* Graydon, A. D. urdaugh. : : : : 1eir Yells with C. T. Gray .Oliphant, 7 W. Ruterdge Dr. Joynes on His Florida Trip My Dear Gamecock: The State and The Carolinian had already antic ipated you in asking for some memo rials of my recent trip to Florida. But through you I may send a greeting to our students, with my thanks for a happy return to the dear old campus. "My visit to White Springs not only 'restored my health, but greatly revived my spirits. In proof of which, after being there a week, I was asked, in a room full of company, how long I had been a widower! And my old pencil, long accustomed to nothing beyond correcting French and German exer cises, began to indite verses to the melting eyes of that tropic clime. Of these I enclose you a specimen or two of the mildest type, with promise not to do so any more, if I may be for given this time. Glad to be back again amid friends and familiar scenes, and with best wishes, Yours truly, EDWARD S. JOYNES. March 5, 1909. WHITE SPRINGs VERSES. I. To MARS. MARY A fair young widow. "Mary I" sweetest, floliest niame, Vorne by the Virgin High So sweet, so pure the flame That gleams in your soft eye. 2. To Miss JULIA, when sick'. (, where is Miss Julia? I find it peculiar, That when she is well She is bright as a bell, But when she is sick she is mist. 3. To Miss MYRTLE FAY The myrtle is sweet, And a fay is a good elf, But where sweetness and goodness meet Is in Myrtle Fay herself. 4. To Miss CLAUDE BOND A rhyme for Miss Claude! Who would not applaud Her voice so bright, Her eyes of light? What heart could fail to respond To the charm of so sweet a Bond? E. S. J. Exit "Crowbar" . Sad, sad, sad. The "Crow" has flown ; the "Crobar" will no longer be seen in 7 East Rutledge. He has girded up his loins, packed up his be longings in a box about two feet in dliamneter, and gathered himself unto other parts. Crum Murray is hyster ical; Charlie Colcock has lost his joy ouis disposition, and Pat is wveighed dlown b)y a (lark melancholy. "Crobar" has gone. But let us not weep for him ; bult rather find consola tion iln the memory of tihe past joys of his presence. J. HT. Cooper had threatened to close in the mortgage on Crobar's household goodls and( chattels; Chick Adldicks wvas in a purring condition, and Gold stein was furious because of an unre (deemed wvatch which would not run. Besides all this, No. 7 wvas too niear the water spigot, anid it is well knowvn that "Crobar" does not like wvater as a dIrink or for any other purpose. Vale, vale, "Crobar." Simon Departed for Syria The Senator was smiling. "What's the matter, George? Some body paid you some money?" "Nar, man!" with an incredulous shrug of the shoulders; "Ain't you hear? Simon gone back to de ould country dis mornin', he an' his wife." "What did lie do with his store?" "Sold out to his brudder. But, hal man, his brudder, I kno' his brudder. You buy one pack cig'rette, he give you one match, you buy two pack cig' rette, lie give you two match, tree pack cig'rette, tree match. Hal, man, I kno' his brudder. He stingy l" the Senator concluded emphatically. "But, George, I never have noticed that you were so free with matches." "Hal, man, I got cigar lighter. Cost me tree dollar." "What made Simon go back to the old country ?" "Me," answered the worthy Sena tor, serenely. "He make no money. Go back to de ould country, where you can live cheap, five, ten cint day, man." "When are you going back, George ?" "Hal, man, when dey move de col lege over dare." "Well, so long, George. I'm sorry Simon's gone." "Say," called the Senator after me, "You hear de joke on Jim Sullivan? He crazy as-" "Heard it years ago, George," I answered and departed. Our Royalty There's many a maid with lustrous hair And lips of a strawberry red, Soft-clad in wondrous raiment fair, And with milk and honey fed. There's many a maid of royal birth, Close locked in grim castle wall, Renowned for beauty, and wit, and mirth, And no one can count them all. But the Queens of Carolinal Each one a fair Regina I There's Speig for beauty and Finley for mirth, And for wit with Youmans there's never a dearth. So raise me a toast and wine 'er I Each Queen of old Carolina! And back in the famous times of eld Full many a monarch swayed; And insurrections oft he quelled, And niany a kingdom made. And noble and freeman and varlet and serf HeI ruledl with an iron hand; And many a foe laid lie in the turf, Backed b)y his faithful band. But the King of Carolinia! A King with nio Reginia I For Irvinie doth rule 'em and Irvine doth sway, And insurrections low doth lay. So raise me a toast, Gay Winer The King of old Carolina I Our old friend George Washington is again off the gang. George states that lie is delighted to be among us