University of South Carolina Libraries
-st ' _ ?7^ ~ ~7 ~~~ WINNSBORO, S. C., WEDNESDAY, APRIL 8, 1885. , ;"^^S":.. Husband and Wife. ? Husband Speaking: "It's the* strangest thinjr that ever I knew. And the roost provokinv,'twixt me and you. A nd a woman who's pot a man like me. ? A i*cod provider, and steady and free With ?li her folks, ^"ith funds salted down. And as fine a House as any in town. To l>e lamenting 'eause one child in ten Ain't quite as good as he might have been. 4Tt*c 11 TiTV-tfv* frA/?d Khnw>nir. it SPf'iRS to mc. ! That only a tenth of the lot should be A little off color, and that's what I say To their mother twenty times a day; But I can't make her see it in that light. And she listens find waits nigbt after night -s For the c* *nd o? ms step, till I grow so wild That I ay?*t curse both mother and child. "She ought to :Nv. or the others, you know, And let the tow-nenting vagabond go And folio** his ways and take the painHut 1 turn him out and she calls liim ajrain. This makes a hardness between her and me, And the worst of it is, the children agree 1 hat I'^i hi the rirht. You'4 pity her thenSuch times I think I'm the meanest cf men. "I've argued and pcolded and coaxed without end: ITer answer is alraj-s: 'My boy has one friend As long as I liv\ and your charge is untrue Thatuiy heart fcild6 110 equal love for you And all the rest. Eut the one irone astray Needs me the most, and you'll find 'tis the way Of all mothers to hold close to the one Who hurts her the most. So love's work is done.' ' Nov wha? can I say to such words as those? j 3'in not convince!, as the history shows, Rut I nffc?r! wonder which one is richt. As I hear her lisrht step nit lit after niyht. Here and there, to the window and <'oor. As she wnits wirh a heart that is heavy and sore. I wish the boy dead, while she gives her life To save him from sin. There's husband and wife." ?Cardiff Mail. MADGE'S 311 STAKE. "We start for Egypt on Thursday,old fellow. I have not broken the news to Madge, poor girl! But it will have to be done without loss of time, although I shrink from the ordeal." The speaker was a tall, handsome man, of, perhaps, five-and-twenty, with bright eyes, and a dark, resolute face. He looked every inch a soldier as he stood beside h's friend on the platform of the crowded London terminus, where they had met each other, after a separation of some eighteen months. "Madge!" said the young officer's frir>nr?- "suri'lv von nro net encraced? You, wbo were always so proud to pro ^ ' claim yourself a woman hater." "Not engaged," returned George si^ht^ flush on his bronzed cheek. ' Sot ^JngagSSi. Roy: but married. Where have you ~ been all these months not to have heard the news?" "I had forgotten how time passes," < s?id I .p Rnv. hn.st.il v. "Of ronrisp- t.ho world has not been standing still since I left England, with the grim determination not to open a book, or newspaper, until I regained the health and strength I had exhausted in long hours of study.'" "And you have gained your object,1' HI sai i George, with friendly solicitude. "You are quite yourself again." Le Roy made no immediate answer; but turned his eyes away, that George ' might not see the look of anguish that darkened them for a uiokc^L-q, "T nnt '* tin ? i i tvi + Vl " 1Lil ^Spoface. "I #ive return^for good," ^*?ou really 1?" bsently. "A >elf. I have-" at tbe man had far betAs hiding not utter er of reserv^B njttved to ^HWB^^rgic o^ns^wn free [ will, or cot. .it all," thought George Euheld. "I will not try to wring his w secret from him." So there was silence between them for a space, as they strode up and down each occupied with his own thoughts. George was the first to speak, and his voice startled i^e Roy, arousing him from a painful reverie. He looked up eagerly, meeting the eager gaze of h s friend. "What is it, George?"1 he asked. apologetically, "Forgive me; but 1 scarcely heard what you were saying." "I was only telling you, Le Roy, that my people do not approve of "my marriage. They have been crucl and unjust, and I could not think of letting Madge go to them." "1 am sorr 10 hear this," said Le Roy. "It must be hard for her and for you; she will not be quite alone, I hope. Of course, your wife has her own friends." **She has one sister," returned George; '-but the two poor children will be very lonely, when I am gone, Le Roy. and I want yon to extend your friendship to them." It was a strange request to make; but George could see nothing strange in it. !le loved lis friend,"and had every faith in him; he knew that Wilfred Le Roy was the soul of honor." "llow fortunate that I should have met you here," he continued, without Giving Le Rov time to speak. "You must come to our little \ ilia, and let me introduce you to my wife. I -know you have an eye for beauty, and will Appreciate my good taste. Don't accuse me of egotisrv, pld fellow, until you have seen my Madge." They jumped into a cab, and as they drove quickly in the direction of George's hoxe, the two friends fell to -talking of old times,, and Le Roy was laughing quite merrily when the" hansom drew up before a pretty cottage r not far from Hampstead Heath. A pretty little maid with bright eyes and rosy cheeks opened the aoor" in answer "to George's ring, and Le Roy followed her into a quietly furnished parlor, where a young lady was bending over some needlework. "Madge!" said George, putting his nanu on ner snouiuet, ico mc ium/duce you to the best friend I hare in * the world?Wilfred Le Roj: Wilfred, this is my wife." They looked at each other, and a sudden ghastly pallor came over Le Roy's face, while the girl seemed as if about to faint. Then with a warning glance, as quick as a flash of lightning, Le Roy held out his hand to his friend s wife, and expressed his pleasure at making her acquaintance. "Where is B rt.'e?'' asked tne unepnr scious George. "In the garden, as us? ual, I suppose. I'll go and look for hex." And he hurr'ed out of the room, leaving his wife and Wilfred alone together, Madge leant back in her chaii, white as'the lacework that had fallen from her slender fingers. "Vnn Vt-rvri,t' toll 'him?" sHa Raid Tlitfl ously, lifting her beautiful eyes to Wilfred's face. Wilfred was silent for a moment; he could scarcely trust himself to speak. But he controlled his anger by a mighty effort, and said calmly: "Let the past rest?it is gone forever. I wish to rememDer only tfcat 1 am I your husband's friend.*' It cost hi:i: a great deal to .-peak these words, for Madge had treated him very badly-in days gone by. They had been engaged, and she had jilted him, on lin'ding that his prospects were less bright than people had led' her to irtagine. It had been a secret engagemeiit, and she had never told the wrong she had done, l'ut it was rather hard on him. to find that she was the wife of his friend, and that he was expected to look after her during George's absence. The worst of it was that he loved her still, although he felt that she was unworthy of his love. Weak and fickle ? " 1 1 1 1.1 4. 1. 4.1. ^ as sue nuu ueer, ue coiuu nui ncip lue memory of the sweet pu t con ing back to him, when he looked at her beautiful facv. "Then you will keej> n y secret?" said il:i ge, anxiously; "George has such strict ideas. He would be angry if he knew I had been engaged to yon. I don't think he will ever forgi-e me." "You can trust my word, 1 hope," returned Wilfred, coldly?all the moro coldlv because of the love ho could not ^uuuuc. And then he held up his hand warn* ingly, for he eoul hear voices in tho hall, and hi another moment George entered the room in comrany with a young lady whom Lc Roy had nevei seen before, for she had been at school in Germany when he had first knowr Madge. George introduced her informally to Le Roy as Ms sisler-in-law, and thct left her to entertain his friend, while he took his wife- out of the room tc break the sad news to her of his speedy J departure for Egypt. bhe fried a little, i'or although she did not love her husband very much, he had been kind to lier when her father's failure and death reduccd her ani her sister to poverty, and had ^iven them, both a home by makiDg ner his wife. But for that, she reflected with a shudder, they would have had to gc out !n the world and work for their living. Bessie would not have minded it so much, but Madge had recoiled from the nrosneet of workinsr for her daily bread, with horror. They went ba' k to the drawing-room after a time, and Madge sat down at the piano at her husband's request, and played for them; but she could not ould not, while Wilfred was in the room. She had liked him better tifiTTr^iiie had liked George, although her hus-J" band was better-looking than his friend, i *U/v .*fA?nrtf r\*\ u?oc 1 All {I liHJ UiU VU ?I uo va I over her. If she had been a wise woman she would have objected to be left '.tndei Wilfred's guardianship; but unfortunately, she was a very foolish one, and it teemed to her a very pleasant arrangement indeed. Now that he had promised not to speak of the past to George, she was quite cordial and friendly with Wilfred. It will be so nice for us to have a friend to look after us while George is away;1' she said; "will it not, Bertie?" "Very," returned Bertie, rather drih Girl n? shr> Wiis. she thought Le *v v w ? O Roy altogether too young ana- too hand ome for the r'esponsibii ty he had undertaken. Berlie was very sweet and girlish, with >oft blue eyes and a closely cropped head gave her quite a childlike appearance. Not so brilliantly handsome as her sister, perhap?; but, nevertheless a vejy pretty girl. When George was on his way to Egypt, Le Roy < ailed daily at the cottage, often staying to partake of afternoon tea with the two sistei's, who always gave him a warm welcome. '-fie is very handsome1' said Bertie, as she watched him riding down the street on his brown mare, after spending the afternoon with then.'. Something in the tone of her voice and the way she looked after Wilfred annoyed Madge, who had never noticed how pretty her sister was getting until that moment. "Yes," she said, "he is handsome, poor fellow!" And as she uttered these last words Madge sighed. "Why 'poor fellow'?" asked Bertie, quickly turning to lock at her sister. "Because he will never marry?" "How do you know that?" cried Bertie, coloring vividlv. "Has he told you so?" "No, but I happen to know: he loved someone long ago, and will never forget hex-." "What can you know about Wilfred Le Roy?" incredulously. "We have only known hiw a few weeks." ? "I knew h ra before poor father died," said Madge, playing witfi ner rings to avoid meeting her sister's steady gaze. "And you let George think you had never reel before." said Bertie slowly. "You never loved him," opening her blue eyes. "If you had loved him you would"have been true in spite of his poverty." Months passed on, and taking up the Times ov.e morning. "Wilfred lame upon his fri. nd's name in the list of the slain. It was :t t?rr;b'e blow for him, as he had loved.Gt orge with quite a brctherIv affection. Mad^e went into hysterics when she heard the news, bnt soon calmed down, showing admirable resignation to her loss. Bertie, inde< d, seemed to feel it the most. George came as usual to the cottage, r??>v wliftn Inland Madsre were alone rather abruptly alluded to the past. "He can" t be going to propose already," thought the pretty widow, and deciding in her own mind to put him off l'or at least a twelve-month. "Madge," said Wilfred, earnestly," "when I first came here and found you the wife of my friend, I thought I should go. mad." Madge murmured something about it being too soon to taiK ox such ui;ug?, i but he did not appear to liee i her. "Yes," he went on, "I loved you | stilL Forgive me. It was wrong, aud ' I couldn't help it. And now He paused for a moment, and Madge | colored hotly, forgettins: her recent bereavement, and know.ng only that the man she loved was metaphorically at her feet. "And now?'1 he returned in an agi " 1 t "i ~ tateu voice, -now x ;ove?x wu*. i sister." Mrs. Enfield's complexion had never J looked more lovely?licr cheeks were j like roses: but her eyes!?well, they had rather an angry sparkle, and her lips were slightly compressed. "I am glad, very glad indeed," she said, with emphasis. "If I were Bertie, I should not care for a man's second love; but, of course, everybody to tneir taste. And with this parting taunt she walked out of the room just as Bertie entered it. The g^rl could not understand the meaning of the angry look her sister gave her. She did understand it, though, a moment later, when Wilfred caught her in his arms and told her of his love. After all, it was fortunate for all par- ! ties concerned that affairs had taken ' this turn, for a snort time later on it : was found that George Enfield's name was amons: the "Missing.*' not the I killed. I "\f?Jnro t-r* <ln Jif-r R-.1S WJlll- ' , rtw? J o I inely glad when she heard that her hus- | band had "turned up" safe and sound, and welcomed him as warmly as if she had never thought of being his friend's wife. So all ends happily, and?for George | at least?where ignorance is bliss it is j folly to be wi c. Tom Ochiltree on Sound Sleeping. ! "I see that Representative Hewitt j cannot sleep on account of the barking j of dogs," said Col. Tom Ochiltree yes- j j terday, as he reclined in an easy ciiair at Chamberlirrs. "I hardly know how to sympathize with tin: distinguished gentleman from New York,"' continued the incarnadined Tt;xan, "for all the j dogs in Christendom and Constant!-1 pie as well could not keep me mvnke if I wanted to sleep. Why. sir, at the j siege of Petersburg I slept soundly f ;r j eight hours right under the carriage of j a forty-pound cannon that was icing | i n?j a :?i? v?.. ; uruu. every uve m muies. x an, auu the gunner said I snored so loudly, that he could scarcely hear the orders that were given him between the shots. Why, sir, on one occasion while I was traveling through Guadalupe County, Texas, 1 stopped at a piece of thick woods at dark, staked my horse, built a fire, and lay down. That's a bad wolf country, and by 10 o'clock there were 2,000 of the savage devils howling around me within fifty feet of my campfire. I spread my blanket on the grass, fixed my saddle for a pillow, and lay down with a navy revolver in each hand. In two minutes I was asleep, dreaming that I was in Paris. When I awoke the next morning the sun was high in the heavens. A neighboring ranchero told me the wolves had howled till dayl glit. Sixty of them were found dead in the bushes. They bad died from prolonged howling, while I i had slumbered gently, like a babe, on the breast of my mother earth. Think of that, and then of a Congressman J whose nightmares are interrupted by j the midnight whining of a greengrocer's O O G > O dosr. w "Why, Tom Benton nsed to sleep so hard that botelkeepers had to break in Bis iTocATrtTseft'Mnic was not dead. Ben Butler cannot ride in'a "srt^^cnr without dozing. In a Hying ride aovffr-ttfrShenandoah Valley, Stonewall Jackson, strapped to his saddle, slept for six hours Willi his horse at a sweeping gallop, a courier holding the guide-rein^ Napoleon snatched slumber for a moment as his cavalry thundered by within a few feet of him at Austerlitz. Yet | here is a lusty statesman who cannot j even enjoy a cat-nap because a sad and | lonely cur around the next corner j crawls out of. his kennel to bay the moon! Gentlemen," coutinued the rubicund Texan, "I have driven an ox ' wagon from Sabine Pass to El Paso, I | have ridden a steer from Caddo Lake j to Bagdad! and I have ridden a mule from the Sau Jacinto to the C.bolo. I have slept in the eternal pine forests of Eastern Texas, with the deadly tarantulas crawling all over mo and tH rat- |_. tV^stiakes hissing in my car, but if I have ever lost fifteen minutes' sleep since I ' - - - 1 1 3 t quit tectums:, men, ov iue nomuu iro^ of Texas, I do not know iti Why, gentlemen, then; is not a Capital in all Europe in which I am not famed as a sound sleeper. On my last visit to Paris, my friend, the Count de Lafayette, with ^onio associates, got up a device to break my slumber. They rigged up an automatic sheet-iron cat and placed it on my window-sill at the Hotel d? Veudome, where it yowled and scratched at the window pane for hours. Well, sir, what do you suppose? I hope that Santa Anna may rise up and make a conquest of Texas if that sheet-iron cat didn't get so distrusted by midnight that it jumped from \ the window to the ground, an around j the corner, and has never been heard \ of since!"?i: tizJiington h'epub icun. One Cause of Bud Grammar. An Ohio school-teacher went over to a country district in Indiana to engra.'t a little knowledge upon the youthful sprouts ia that vicinity, and one of the sciiool trustees used such grammar that the Buckeye pedagogue was threatened with hysterics. A ter two or three weeks he felt that he knew the trustee 1. weii cnougii to sueaiv iu iimi auuut it. "Why is it," he asked, "that you persist in saying 'have saw,1 'have came,' 'knowed, and other things equally as unpram:n ati cal ?" "Because I was leached that way by my parents," replied the trustee. "But, good heavens, man, you should know better than to continue murdering the English in that style!" "Look hero, young man," answered the trustee, hotly, "I've got a right to murder tho English." "No you. haven't." "I know better. I'd like to know if ray grandfather wasn't in the war of '12, and his father fit in the Revolution, and they both done all they could to murder the English, and I'll be danged if I'm goingbackon the family record. If you don't like it, all you have to do is to scrimmage 'round and git money enough to take you back to Ohio whar you come from. That's the kind of a school trustee this chicken. is, an' you needn't try to teach hfru none of your new-fangled notions, or you'll be out of a job quickern a republican post-master after March 4." The teacher taught the scholars after that.?Jitraiatu i ruuctcr. A Funny Year. Jim Webster has been before the courts of Austin innumerable times for various petty offenses. He was tried for stealing chickens one day last week. Finally the Judge told him: "You can go. You are discharged. The jury has decided you are not guilty." Jim pa-sed his hand over his brow, and asked in a dazed sort ot a way: "Me not guilty?1' "Yes, you are not guilty." "You don't tell me so, boss. Fse neber had nnffin like dat happen to me before. Dis am a mighty tunny yeah, anyhow. Fast the 'Publicans didn't 'lect dar President, a:;d now I's been found not guilty ob tampering wid dem pullets 1 stole,' ? Texas Siftings. Scotch notions of breach of promise of marriage are even more remarkable 1 than those wiiicii prevail eisewnere. a j young woman who had been discarded by one sweetheart married another one and then brought an action for breach of promise against the first. The Magistrate before whom the case was tried refused- to' grant the request of the young lady for damages. He would not regard her as the possessor of a 1 mildewed heart AX ECCENTRIC JUDGE. Anecdotes of a Western Judge of a Con. scientioiu Turn of The following stories are related of a judge of one of the Circuits in Western .Michigan. The Judge was of a con " ?1 * or?/^ nru LU1I1 U1 miliu, UUIKJt .uiu ] a lawyer of ability, but somewhat given "to eccentricities: A man of questionable reputation was on trial once before him on acrim * in:ii cuarge. ane attorney ior uue ucfendant was a gentleman of reputation, subsequently cTiosen Attorney-General of the State. Every effort that he made in the way of objections, and they were frequent, was ruled against by the court, all of which caused feeling. Finally the Judge became impatient oi! being reminded that the defendant was entitled to a fair standing in court, and said to the counsel for the defense:1 ' Ihe two of you put together have no standing in this court; you ain't no better than he is, and he ought to be sent up for life!" On another occasion an important i law question was being argued, several; attorneys being engaged on each sideOne of them was making his argument : He had read quite a number of authorities in support of his position and was insisting that the proposition he contended for was the law. The Judge told him in the midst of his argument he was wrong. "But that is simply your Honor's opinion," said the attorney. The reply was: "Yes, sir, it is only my opinion, 'tis true. I don't care for the opin'ons of the Supreme Court of nr onr ntliAr T t'UIJUIH KJk JLttJIl.'U'Uiua, V4 nwj v%?v , court; my opinion controls this court, and governs your case, and 1 prcdict you're goin1 to get beat so bad you won't know where you are." And the Judge was right about it, as the sequel proved. Another time the court was sitting in chancery for the trial of a divorce case. The proofs had all been taken and a solicitor for the compl inant had been arguing the cause for two or three hours. The Judge was becoming uneasy. All at once he broke out in this u*:iv! ''N'nw. Clarke, look here: You've been talking for four or five hours and not said :i thing about the case. I don't propose to fool away ray time listening to slush. If you don't change your tune pretty soon, I am going home; that's all there's about it. The attorney for the defense?"I am conducting my side of this case, and propose to present it in a manner that sTTTrps-ms-_andj'ou have got to sit here and listen to it. Judjre?"No, sir, there law compelling a man to sit still ancr-vfee bored to death; you must stick to the f - T ? 1 KMV/v Pt*A/?AA.^ I Case Ql' 1 won i ?uiy licit. j. iwwu, sir, with your spccch!" As the argument proceeded, the Judge kept getting more impatient and at last turned to the clerk-and^shonted^ Mr. Clerk, enter tip in the journal of this court that A. B. is a fool, and adjourn court until to-morrow morning at 9 o'clock." The clerk made the entry, and an inspection of the journal will show it there to-day. A case was being tried be ore the Judge without a iury, with an able lawyer on either feie. ^Thc pjAiS&ifjii j wasrMSfiTtr^fid tt^dfefotruani to-do colored man' The suit was for breach of contract and there seemed to be much difficulty in ascertaining what the contract was. While Morfit was upon the stand, the defendant's attorney objected to nearly every question. " The Judge overruled each objection with the remark, that as there was no jury, the reception of the testimony could do no harm. The object tions continued, and finally the Judge turned to the attorney and said: ' See here, Henry,.S am going to overrule all vonr objections as fast as you . i T IllIluC cm. Jl iliil IV uvjtii whole of this case. There's no jury h?. re. so no i arm can be don , aD'i old Mortit's jrot to swcar a good deal stronger' a ho has yet or he'll get 'busted' all to pie es." The trial proceeded, and when the defendant took the stand, the same course of objections continuing, the Judge informed counsel he would put the questions himself. Judge?"Now, my good man, just tell me about your trouble with MorOt Defendant?'-Yas> saii;o you see, \f.ix. \fr Alnrfit U UUV. Ul, Ub JL UO ' j ?? an' I was down by de co'n dar and Morflt says to me?no I says to Mr. Morfit; no?lemrau see '' Judge?"Come, come, get to the point and tell me what he said." The defendant proceeded again as before, but each time stopped and seemingly could get no farther. After several fruitless trials by the court and attorneys the Judge Said to him: ' Well, I think you had better go and sit down where you won't be in the way. You don't know half as much about the case as old Morfit does, and he doesn't know enough to win it." It is needless to add theft" judgment was for defendant, and for costs, The Latest Craze in London. The oraze for photographing sections o* +he human form divine has not yet reached New York, but it's bound lo come. I have been looking over an English collection. There were hands?some of them stuck throngh holes in a dark screen and clasped and raised; -others were taken singly, holding a flower; others again, exhibited the palm in such a w?v fHofc ji fortune teller emild "read the'lines." There were bare feet. If any one ever saw a bare foot that was pretty on anything but a baby, then they have seen Lizzie Weatherby's (Mrs. Nat Goodwin). She has. a beautiful foot without a blemish, and- might be justified in having hers- photographed. But the English feetthst hadrbeen subjected to this process that I saw were something kicked- One,- belonging to Ladj Gladys JLonsdale, was handsome: but it was as big as the foot of a bill at Christmas. Then the backs that are taken? just simple, plain l?aokv with moles perhaps, or without; and ^sections of shoulders and napes of neck's, scruffs of necks?scrags of neck, ifrel mutton sellers call 'cm-or-.an ear, just one detached ear,. for that .oar is stuck through a-slit in a pfcoe of velvet.?Neio lortc mirror, Maggie Mitchell is 51," Minnie Palmer 25, Mary Anderson 27, Bijou Heron 21. Ada Rehan 24, Mrs. John Drew 63, Ristori 65, Lydia Thompson 53, Rose Eytinge (four times married) 48, Effic Germon (six times married) 47, , Mrs. Bowers 53, Mrs. Chanfrau, 45, Kellogg 42, Charlotte Thompson 41, I'atti 44, JNiisson 42, xvosc woou oo, Eliza "Weathers by 36, Lotta Crabtree 39, Fanny Davenport 34, Alice Harrison 36, Sarah Jewett 37, Kose Coghlan 36, and Miss Ellen Terry is a grand- j mother. v Mystery of a Town Pump. r.;The students and the faculty of Y:ile And the "town born"' of the city are puzzled over the conduct of the old town pump on the historic ?reen, writes a*New Haven correspondent of the V -%T f r i.' ~ j>evv xork sun, which lor some l icu flas been emitting hot water out of its Teruplc street spout, and pure cold wa<Snr as u-ual out of its Church street lizzie, and so far there lias been no satisfactory explanation of the phenomenon. >. The New Haven town pump is famous principally for the quality of the water find for the number of times it has been fr-*6!en b}* skylarking students. It stands fifty yards from the college campus, on the lower corner of the green, ari l is a tal ami ponderous wooden structure o: the seventeenth century, with two handles, two spouts, and two iron drinking cups. The city does not replace it with a modern style iron pump because these freeze up in winter an*J are too cumbersome for the students to lug away. And so Ne w Haven \ eop!e reach up for the long h'ckory j ump brakes, by the. thousands in summer ;?nd by the hundreds in winter. Some of the old business men of the place always stop there to drink on their way dow. .own from dinner. Originally the site of the pump was % cold and limpid spring, fringed with ai ders, and in the center of the nine squares origin a y laid out. The alder crrewa n. frmmiis trvstincr-nlace. and 6""'^ *" ?J " a x ? ~ existed for years. The spring was walled up in two sect'ons, and the pump was set about the time Yale college was located here. The students have been ' stea'ing it semi-oeeasionally ever since. i Prof. Daniel C. Eaton, of Ya'e, was at -a loss to account for the aqueous freak of the old pump. Never before ia: his recollection had there been any such complaint He was loath to believe the story of his old friend at first, but stepping up to th shackly Temple street brake he applied his right hand to.it witli vigor, while with his left he extended the iron tankard under the nozzle. A stream of tepid water shot into the cup, smoking with heat in the col J air. It was nauseatingly warm, and strongly impregnate I with minerals. Then the pro essor went around to the Ciir.rch street side and yankecj a& the brake. Here he procured a cap or ice-cold water sparkling in the sunlight. < VI can't account for the phenomenon," said he. "1 do not think, however, that .it may be attributed to any volcanic or shbterranean action." I i The processor indicated th t hot and cold springs side by side were not to be Rooked for in this part of the country. V^krf'-mes the Temple street spout jsH^svatfer- -that is so hot as to be scsf-i * Both stfct^jQg come from the same source, thouga thV^ring is divi do^byju^atTfrom the bottonrr Why I the water should be hot is a mystfcryf -1 But .why such a marked difference should exist in the samples drawn from the'same well through ttfro pumps set ( over it is a much greater one. There \ is a theory that the water may be heat- \ e<Lfrom one of the Chapel street steam ' heat pipes, but this is h -.lf a block away. A leak^in the pipe might cause ] theheat, but ttas is neid bo ?e improoaDie tyirs will. be?a?ked _to : dig up the "well to see what is the 1 matter. The Bi rthplace of Great Southerners. ' A nicely worded paragraph is going ^ the rounds of tha press under the title ( of "Henry Clay's Birthplace." It calls j it Ashland, Kv., and treats it with pathos .-:nd feeling. The fact is Henry ' Clay was not born in Kentucky at all. He was a Virginia boy who first saw the light in Hanover County, and did not come to Kentucky until he was over 19. ' The greatest men of both Kentucky and Tennessee have been born in other ' States. Ben Harden, the great orator 1 of Kentucky, was born in Pennsylvania; George M. Bill, Tyler's Secretary 1 of the Treasury, was born in Virginia; and Henry Watterson, of the CourierJournal, tirst saw light in Washington, D. C. As to Tennessee, thj matter , is j still worse. Before the war it had | hardlv a man of national prominence | who had been born within its borders. P. esidents Jackson and Johnson were born in North Carolina, as was, also, J. K. Polk and H. L. White, who, it will be remembered, was a Presidential candidate in the campaign of 1836. Parson Brownlow was born in Virginia, and came to Tennessee as a circuit riding Methodist preacher. Felix Grundy, a Virgin:an by birth, had made a reputation and become Chief Justice of Kentucky before he moved to Tennessee, and Horacc Maynard, a Massachu setts college graduate, emigrated to Tennessee, and started in life as a tutor. Aaron V. Brown, the law partner of James K. l'olk, and Postmaster-General under 13u hanan, rame into Tennessee from Virginia at the age of 20, and Sam Hoi:-tun, Gove nor of the State, Senator in Congress and founder of the Texas Republi \ was a Vir ginian by b rtb.?"Carp" in Cleveland Leader. Manual Dexterity and the Letters. It is well known that in its development each new born being passes through very much the same stages that his ancestors have been through before hin\ Even after birth the growth of the child's intelligence simulates the progress of the human race from the savase condition of' that of civilization- It has leen shown bv 1- - 1 Jfreyer, ana omers wno nave smuiuu infant development, that a faculty which has been acquired by th j race at a late stage, is late in making its appearance in the child. Now, reading and writing are arts of comparatively recent achie\ement. Savage iran could reap J 1 ' 1 ana sow, ujiu auu uiu*u I long before lie could communicate his I thoughts to a person at a distan- e by means of written spcech. There is, then, reason to believe that a child's general intelligence would be best trained by making him skillful in many kinds of manual labor before beginning to torture him with lettors; and the moral to be der.ved is, that primary instruction should be instruction in man- I ual dext6ritv, and that reading ana | writing could be learned with pleasure j and with ease by a child who had been ' fitted for taking them up by the right j kind of preparation. A Texas'doctor: Dr. Blister is one I of those physicians who do not take any nonsense from their patients. One day last week he presented his bill to Mose Schaumburg. "One hundred and j fifty tollars!" exclaimed Mose. "Vy, I | mine liotr, i\vo iuaerais m uui iuuuiij | vould not haf cost me so much as dot" j "It's not too late to have a funeral in the house yet," replied Dr. Blister, ' drawing an army-size revolver. The physician heels himself whenever a patient feels indisposed to settle.?Texas Siftings. 1 I SPY. How Hill Nye Played It When He Went To School. Dear -.eader, do yon r member the boy of youf school who did the h-avy falling through ihe iee and \va> always about to break his nc: k but managed to i v/ through it all? Do you call to mind thr> vonfli who n ver allowed anv body else to fall out of a tree and break his coliar bone when lie could attend to it him elf? Eviry >chool has to secure the serv ees of such a toy before it can succeed, and so our school had one. When I entered tha school I .caw at a glance that the board had neglected to provide itself with a boy whose duty it was to nearly kill himself every few days in r.nW 1-n L"or>n 1m thp. interest, so I ;1U plied for the position. I. soured it without any trouble whatever. The board understood at once from my bearing that I would succeed.. Aud I did not betray the trust they had reposed ia ire. Before the first term was over I.had . tried to climb two trees at once and1 been carried home on a stretcher; .beenpulled out of - the river: with- my lungs full of water and artificial respiration; resorted to; been jerked around over the north half of the county-by a fractious horse whose halter I had tied to my leg, and which leg is now three inches longer than the other, together with various other little early eccentricities which I cannot at this moment call to mind. My parents at last got so that along about 2 o'clock p. m. they would look anxiously out of the window anil say, "isn't u aoout ume ior uie boys to get here with William's remains? Tliev generally get here before 2 o'clock." One day five or six of us were playing "I spy" :iround our barn. Everybody knows how to play "I spy." One shuts his eyes and counts 100, for instance, while the others hide. Then he must find the rest and say "I spy" so-and-so and touch the "goal" before they doll" anybody beats him to the goal the victim ha> to "blind" over again. Well, I knew the ground pretty well, : and could drop twenty feet out of the barn window and strike on a pile of straw so as to land near the goal,touch it, and let the crowd in free without getting found cut. I did this several times and got the blinder, James Bang, . pretty mad. After a boy has counted | 500 or GOO, and worked hard to gather I .1 - 1 ?L. 1- - C J I in Uie crowu, Uiiiv lu gi;i< jccacu axiu. laughed at by the boys, he loses his temper. It was so with James Cicero Bang. I knew that he almost hated me, and yet I went on. Finally, in the fifth ballot. I saw a good chance to slide down and let the crowd in again as I had done on former occasions. I slipped out of the window and down the side of the barn about two feet, when I was detained unavoidably. There was a batten" on the barn that kv^s-lctpse at the upper end. I think I. ivas weai-.-infr niy father's vest on that Jay, as lie was from home and I 'requently wore hiscibltw^sjyhenhe was lbsent. Anyhow the vest^-^i^s too large, ^nd'when I slid down that board ran up between the vest and my person in such a wm^s to suspend me ibout eighteen the ground in i prominent, out very uncomiortaoie, l positron. I remember it yet quite distinctly, lames C. Bang came around where lie :ould see me. He said: "I spy Billy N'ycj and touch tlie goal before him.*' So one came to remove the barn. No jne seemed to sympathize with me in ny great sorrow ami isolation. Every ittle while James C. Bang would come iroiind the corner and sav: "0, I see v- rAn' nf V U. AUU lIVATVill C liiiun > vrv* i. v, vuw vyx 'sight up there. I can see you real plain, if on better come down and blind. 1 ;an see ye up there!" 1 tried to unbutton icy vest and get jown there and lick James, but it was 1 :>f no use. It was a very trying lime. I can remember how I tried to ki k mysc-lf foose. Lilt failed. Sometimes I would kick the barn and sometimes I would , kick a la go hole in the horizon. Finally I was rescued by a neighbor who said he didn't want to see a good bam kicked into chaos hist to save a louff legged boy that wasn't worth, over.six bits. * . ' i It affords me great pleasure to add that while I am looked up lo and madly loved by every one that dooi; not know me, James C. Bang is the brevet President of :i fractured bank, taking a lonely bridal tour by himself in Europe , and waiting for the depositors to die of old acre. The mills of the gods grind slowly, but they most generally get there with both feet. (Adapted from the French by permission.) Imitative Col.)rin<r in Marine Life. The adaptation of the innumerable tints to every grade of change in the color of the sea-weed is really marvelous. The younger, lighter green crustaceans arc- always to^jc found on the young, verdant fronds of the plant, while the older parts ot tne weeci are inhabited by older, brown anjmals. The older stems are often incrusted with the white shells of bryosoa, and corresponding with these we are sure to find white spots on the brown armor of the crabs. The legs of the animals are frequently of an olive-green ground with brownish spots, deceptively like ; the slender sea-weed-leaves that are jnsi beginning to trn-n brown. It one will, as I did, pull one of the largo plants upon the deck, leave it in a cask of sea-water for an hour or two, and then look through it for crabs without disturbing it, he will find it very hard to discover three or four of the animals, although he may "be sure there are a quarter of a hundred of them there; and, if he gives the mass a lively shake, he will linu a curious assemblage of the most varied sorts tumbling off thebusb, ?for fA WHUbU (JfUUVlUi M 111 gv JI?1 IV ? V4.**.J Wagner's view; for, if they are allowed the opportunity, they will all swim back to the sea-weed, and each will seek a part of the plant most like it in color. I tried the experiment forty or fifty times, and never saw a little green crab settle on a dark-brown stem. The crustaceans keep to their color, and the brown ones will, with amazing speed, dart throngh the thick net-work of stems and leaves, to the darkest spot tliey can nn<it. w&ere tiiey quicKiy wacape observation.?Dr. Wilhclm Breitcnbach, in Popular Science Monthly for January. ' < - ? Recently the tomb of Edward III., in W.^tminster Abbev. was o?>ened and the body of "Longshanks." as he' was J called, was found in a remarkably good j state of preservation. The flesh of the ! face had turned to a yellow- powder, but part in the hair was-still there, ! and the shape and the form of the body remained intact. Around the head was a narrow silver band, on which was enorraved his- name. The remains were placed in the tomb GOO^eai-s ago. _? . It Wouldn't Work the Seo.?:ul Tirne. "Are you a dramatic editor?" asked a smooth-faced young man, attired in a plug hat, a bright green bobtail frieze coat, and ti^ht check pants, and further adorned by a red scarf, yellow-upper shoes, and a four-pound watchchain, as he walked into the office, with a three-ply frown corrugating his brow. "Are you the man that prints Ihnm ciivs nrit.n the* nerfession?" -? & "J - ?- 1 "We occasionally print interesting incidents relating to prominent artists, replied the d. e. blandly. "Wasn't this the paper that printed that story about Giannini, the opera singer, being captured by brigands in Spain?" ' I think I remember the instance," replied the critic. "And after they had cloaned out the | tenor and his troupe, Giannini began to sing something, whereupon the chief of the robbers recognized the tenor from haying heard him sing at Madrid, and was so much affected that he embraced him, returned the plunder, and escorted him safe through the country. That was the story, c'n? 44Yes, Ithink-suy* ifcgtsj'; said thejonriraTfst,'sh:ippinghis'wtrtch "Well, it is ail grift?a regular biik,'\ exclaimed the protessio'nrfl, angrily. MYhat do 3*01: mean growled the T\-ritcr, reaching for the big shears. "Whv -met this* RrVKhprs wrn't ont,* no more appreciation for talent than? I than managers have. They don't go a cent on art, them fellows 'don't," and the artist gloomily lit one of the critic's cigarets. - ', \ ^ . ' Don't, eh?" said the star-scalper. ' No, sir, they don.'t; and Til prove it. My sta^e name is Hamphat?you've heard of tne Hamphat Brothers, the great song-and-dance team haven't you?" The dramatic editor admitted that he hfidn'fc. 1 ' "Well, sir, my partner,'the wcrldrenowned' Teddy Hamphat, was up doing the northern circuit last week, and the stage he was in was stopped by road-agents near Ukiah. Ted nad read that blamed Giannini item, so he took ihe boss highwayman aside into ' the bushes and sun^ him a couple of verses of 'Dat Yaller Gal Dressed in Green,' "And how did it work?" "Work, sir; why, the gangshot'him full of holes and chucked him into a ditch. I'm agoing up on the 5:30 train to fetch the4iody home." "That's sad?very," said the critic, with a beaming smile. "And it's all your fault. I'd advise you fellows to let up deceiving the public that way. It ain't the square shake ny a aerneasigiu. n c re goin^ to give the widow a benefit, and I think you onghter give it a star notice as a standoff." The critic promised to attend to it, so the gentleman from the Bella Union abstractedly collared the balance of the cigardtf"and drifted out.?San Francisco Injurious Talkiiii,'. - r A Freshman, speaking of a person, icnr?vajn to his: comrades; said: mouth hinw nothii?% ;Jor; ihe am ways opeasT^fcii.! pothersJ[ There are multitudes -of pefsoqgM whom that remark will apply. *. JjlxalH geration and defamation are two fertjjM sources of social mischief. W^raeerl with persons who sensitiyely^Sniik from the deliberate violation "of truth* who will habitually overcolor theii statements to such an extent that a false impression is conveyed to the mmd of the listener. They thus lower the tone of their own mind, destroy the power of accurate perception, diminish the confidence of their friends, and sow the seeds of much error in the world. ' ' ' < k/if +WATT M /\4 JLuvy 2>WU UWUUVC1 L11AU LIXVJ cUVi MVl credited even when they speak soberly. Their moral drafts upon social confidence are dishonored. But perhaps the most injurious' talk is that which detracts from the character of another?that which openly o r in disguise strikes at the reputation oi a brother pilgrim?that which "cats men's throats with whisperings"?that which is adopted by the envious rival who seeks to build "his name on the ruins of another's fame." Little does the slanderer think what a bitter harcesf. ho'will himself re^n from the cal umnious words he has uttered. A lady visited Philip Neri on one occasion, accusing herself of being a slanderer. "Do you frequently falfinto this fault?" he inquired. "Yes, very often," replied the penitent, "ily dear child," said Philip, "your fault is great, but the mercy of God is greater; I now bid thee do as follows: Go to the Dearest market and purchase a chickeu just killed and still covercd with feathers; then walk to a certain dist >nce, plucking the bird as you go. Your walk finished, return to me.1' The woman did as rtin?r?tp.d_ :ind returned, anxious to know the meaning of so singular an injunction. "You ha-, e been very faithful to the tirst part of my orders," said Philip; t4now to the second part and you will be cured: Retrace your steps, pass through all the places you have traversed, and gather up one by one all the feathers you have scattered." "But," said the woman, "I cast the feathers carelessly away, and the wind earned them in all directions." "Well, my child," replied Philip, "so it is with your words of slander: like the feathers which the wind has scattered, they have Deen waitea in many directions. Call them back now if you can. Go, sin no more.''?Quiver for January. - ? ? A Bis Bird's Nest. What -would mv young readers think if they should find a nest 30 feet in diameter and"6 or 8 feet high? There are such nests in the Molucca Islands. ma.Se, too, by a bftd as small, if not smaller than tlie'straw-intail, andcalled megapodius. Like the tropic bird, loo, they frequent the scrubby jungles along whavr* tlio 1>UU aCOCiiViV, ?? , ; but they have remarkably large and strong feet tnd long claws. Where j there is a considerable quantity of debris, consisting of sticks, shells, seaweeds and leaves, the megapodius forms immense mounds, often with comparative ease, for with their long feet they ""ion onr? tVirnw l:\v.ird ;l gtMOJS o - , quantity of material. In the center of j this mound,at the depth of two or three ! feet, the eg<*s arc deposited ar.d arc J hatched by the gentle heat produced by i the fermentation of the vegetable matter of the mound.?Golden Days. A dry-goods merchant of Tenderfoot City, Ari., has inserted the following advertisement in the local paper: "We have the durndest lot of A1 goods ever , seca :n this divide, and we can bust any snoozer who tries to dispute it. * Hitch up the old hoss and come and -see us. The best saloons in town are within a' stone's throw of our establishment We have ransacked the world to get : the finest goods, and \vc are boaad to i r>lease."- ' :: : - -^1 Paris is said to be amazed at tho display of wealth and beauty which effusive Americans arc making there. An Indiana husband who is seeking a divorce claims that his wife scalded him with hot tea on eighty-one different occasions. One hundred thousand colored children in Nortti Carolina .attend school i in l,uyu sciiooi Douses.. me average j cost of the buildings was less thm $10C each. ": ::: . There are about 40,000,000 silver dollars in ireulation 'in:thi3 country ?not quite, one apiece all round. Some people can now sec why they haven'* got one. The pctsoual estate -of Sir Erasmus Wilson, the great specialist on skin diseases, is believed to be the largest oi any medical man on record in England, viz: $1,3*20,000. The bulk will ultimately go to the Royal College of Surgeons. It is remarkable says a writer in the Philadelphia that the two gre.it esfc men or2TTtrmcs7"Juliua Caesar and ^Napoleon: Bonaparte, could " not regulate or o?ntrol their own wives, and they had six between them. This Would seem to show that it is easier to govern the world than,one's o\v*n household. It is tlie function of the writer of a short story closely to group h':s figures, carefully cufTaml mass his details,' in dicate Jus heavy- shadowy aad shades with a free baud, and to.'tstack on" high light-with Chinese white", so to speak. In a word, the sfiort"story is nothing if not an- impressionist sketch of the novel or romance which- might be built of the ^ime material.? Maurice, i Thompson. ' "Whv a man laughs-at a ioke in stead of weeping, and wtff'one weeps at a stroke^of patliaTiiistead of laughing, are questions,'1 says a recent German writer, in discussing the positive i results of science in the department of psychology, "which are just as blind as ever they were in Parmenides or Plato; ' but the man who should reverse1 the process would be voted mad by*his fellows, nevertheless J \ e: , A fafcnlons estimate of' the wealth of Ex-Governor English, of Connecticut, which has been going the rounds, results in a proportionate increase'in' his mail. He ssys he is begged to '"lift a caravan of church, debts, build an.infin- ity of sacred cdifices," and even requested to "establish a donation fund for the subjection' of Siberian' fever." One woman has asked him to takt $2,500 worth of depreciated securities off her hands. "I can always tell the nationality o! an engineer" by the complaint he makes," said an engine builder and re pairer to one of our contemporaries. "The Scotchman is always worried about the 'bock losh;' Englishmen and Irishmen are always, lighting. 'the thump,' which tkagfcmlv foiaaaw.^ was left WS&K&afflF9 v/he front arge raised Iette^T^^^^^^^Garfield." the statnc will soon he shipped to San Francisco. " t In Xankin and Kai-fun children from six to twelve years of age are sold by tens of thousands. Not hired out or transferred, "but sold for a small sum in cash, in consideration of which the progenitor, by a tacit understanding, renounces all parental right, even the right of inquiring into the fate of his offspring. The purchasing trader-may be the middle man of a well-to-do childless couple or the agent of a wholesale tea-planter, or a coolie breeder, raising and training slaves for a foreign market. 'TUa Vrtrtfr\r* T-T?rt/"? ltUOVilO iUJ. AA4UUVV JLVJW4VJ vv the British government, as naively set forth by a native journal, explaining why English is to be preferred to Russian rule, resemble very much those given by Commodore Vanderbilt for preferring candidates for conductorships who had a diamond pin and gold watch and chain: "When the English came they plundered; now they are satisfied. If Russians come, they must come hungry. Wc prefer a boa which is satisfied to a hungry DiacK snaue, though the boa mav & larger." O v ? A novelty in the way of bouquets was presented by an English lady to a gentleman. The order that vegetables only should be employed in its production was carried out as follows: Carrots in two shape's, long"aHd short; radishes the same; Brussels sprouts;' variegated Scotch kale; curled endive, and the broad-leaved Batavian variety, parsley being used instead of the usual fern ' fronds seen in ordinary bouquets. The whole, including the holder, measured filial .r> was mounted in the usual way with wires. Spurgeon insists that there is no sin in stroking. In a discourse a$ the Tabernacle he declared that if anybody could show him in the Bible the command, "Thou shalt not smoke," he was ready to keep it. "I find,1' he said, "ten commandments, and it's as much as I can do to keep them, and I've no desire tu make'them i^to eleven or twelve. If a man may thi%kit a sin to have his boots blacked, let him give it up and luive theui whitewashed I wish to sry that I am not ashamed of anything whatever that I do; I don't think smoking '.rakes me ashamed, and th reforc 1 nfan to smoke." The Italian population of California has grown to be very important both as to numbers and as to wealth and intelligence. There are 7,200 Italians in San Francisco. In other j arts of the State themare 28,000, and in other Paei.'ic States and Territories, 9,500. Altogether there are 45,000 Italians on thn Parole coast. From 1849 to 1862 thy emigration was composed almost entirely '>? single men, but since the latter da'c families have predominated. Nearly ali come directly from Italy, the coa^t furnishing lishermen and the rural districts farm-gardeners and farmers. They were born among vineyards, olive and orange groves, They are, therefore, naturally experienced and practical orchardists. He (solemnly)?You had a very narrow escape last iJght, Miss Julia. She ! ?Jfercv, what do' vou meac? He?. fou sec, I had a dream about i yoik I thought I; was just about to uhen the Chinamen rapped at ; the woke up.; She?after a | pans?)?33br Chinese muk go. [Only [ the friends of the families ia\ vited.]?ScU&ecladij Union.