Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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THE NEWBERRY SUN, NEWBERRY. S. C, VIRGIL SUNNYSIDE Lett KleU by Clark S. Haas By Clay Hunter MUTT AND JEFF By Bud Fisher JITTER By Arthur Pointer "WE DIDN'T COME TO SEE THE GAME. WE CAME TO WATCH OUR GRANDDAUGHTER LEAD THE CHEERING AND WE CAN SEE NICELY FROM RIGHT HERE/* "I DON'T THINK I SHOULD STUDY TOO MUCH. MOM. MEN HATE INTELLIGENT WOMEN / * Teacher’s Helper INSTEAD of bringing the teacher 1 an apple every day, little Nick, the baker's son, gave her a pretzel. She always thanked him very much but one day said: j "These pretzels are very good but I wish you would tell your father that they are a little too , salty for me.” Every day after that the pretzel appeared on her desk minus the salt. She began to think that may be she was putting the boy’s father to too much trouble in making them without salt especially for her. “I hope your father doesn’t go to any great trouble in preparing these pretzels without salt,” she said. “Aw, he doesn’t make ’em with- ! out salt,” the little fellow assured her, “I lick it off.” ONE MORE TIME Frank Smith’s wife was away for the week end, so he decided to get the boys together for a little cele bration. At midnight, he saw one of his guests start unsteadily for the door. “Say old man,” he protested, “you’re not going home yet?” “Oh, no,” stuttered the other, steadying himself with one hand on the doorknob, “I’m just going to miss the lasht train. Be back in < minute.” Always the Cavalier “Chivalry is not dead,” thought the woman just past her prime as she smiled and graciously accepted the seat in the subway offered her by a man in overalls. “Thank you very much,” she said. "That’s quite all right, ma’am,” he replied. As she started to take out her knitting she noticed that he was leaning slightly toward her. She looked up in time to hear him con tinue. “As I always say, ma’am, a man should always get up and give a lady his seat. Some of these guys offer their seats only to young and pretty girls, but as you can see, ma’am, it don’t make a bit of dif> ference to me.” WASTE OF EFFORT The town’s new doctor was busy hammering up his shingle when the town’s oldest resident came along and watched for a moment or two. The old man shook his head sad, ly and said: “Yer a right nice lookin’ chap, doc, but I’m afeared you ain’t goin’ to do much around here. Why, this town’s so healthy we couldn’t start a cemetery until the other doctor starved to death.” Question of Framing A woman, who had gained con siderable notoriety with her forged letters and blackmail schemes, one day received in the mail a legiti mate love letter. She was fairly certain it was authentic but wasn’t quite sure what to do about it “This really has me baffled,” she murmured in a puzzled under tone, “I don’t know whether to frame it—or him.” LEGITIMATE GRIEVANCE “Mommy, why does Aunt Lilly always hate telephones so much?” asked little junior. “You see," mother replied, “a man proposed marriage to her over the telephone once and it wasn’t until after she ac cepted that he found out he had the wrong number.” No Cause for Alarm A GROUP OF HIKERS passed a hillbilly’s cabin and smiled as they saw the owner reclining com fortably in a rocking chair on the porch. They noticed his wife go ing into the house via the front and only door and a few seconds later saw a wildcat leap through the open window. They rushed up to the mountain eer. “Do something quick,” one of them shouted. “A wildcat just leaped into your house and your wife is in there.” The hillbilly shifted his quid of tobacco and declared, “That’s his tough luck. I never did like wild cats, anyway.’’ WHERE CREDIT IS DUE He was a difficult customer. One of the two partners in the clothing •tore had shown him every suit in itock but one, helping him into each one and pointing out the vir tues of each garment. With each suit, he would turn the man around and around in front of the mirror. Finally he despaired of selling the customer anything. Just then his partner stepped up and showed the customer the remaining suit. He bought it immediately. “You see, Sam,” said the suc cessful partner later, “what good salesmanship it takes to sell a tough customer like that. You no ticed I sold him on the first try?” “Sure,” said the other, “but who got him dizzy.” Just to Make Sure When the shipwrecked sailor liras quite sure that the tramp •teamer really had seen him and was coming in to rescue him he lumped up and down on the beach with sheer joy. As the boat drew close enough for him to be heard he shouted, “Three long years I've lived on this island, alone. Boy, will I be glad to be taken off.” A lifeboat was lowered and an officer was rowed close to shore, tossing a bundle of newspapers to the ragged and bearded man he called, “Captain’s compliments, *ir. Will you read them over and let me know if you still want to be rescued?” THE ONLY WAT It was visitor’s day at the state penitentiary and the old lady was making quite a nuisance of her- •elf. She cornered one poor inmate and subjected him to a barrage of questions. “And tell us,’,' she concluded, “why are you in prison?” “Madam,” said the inmate with painful courtesy, “I want to be a warden. So I though I’d start from .10 Y0 RtUlty For Stuffiness, Coughs of Colds You know — like millions of others — how wonderfully effective Vicks VapoRub is when you rub it on. Now...here’s amazing, special relief when there’s much coughing or stuffiness, that “choked-up” feeling. It’s VapoRub in Steam . .. and it brings relief almost instantly! Put 1 or 2 spoonfuls of VapoRub In a vaporizer or bowl of boiling water. Then breathe in the soothing, medicated vapors. Every breath eases coughing spasms, makes breathing easier. And to prolong reliaf—rub VapoRub on throat, chest and back. Use it in steam... Rub it on, tool Hadacol Helps Textile Workers Stay On The Job Mr. Barnhardt The great textile mills of the Carolinas are booming again with ahifts working day and night to turn out the nation’s finest mate rials, and HADACOL is doing its part to keep folks on the job. Many textile workers have re ported the wonderful relief which has been brought them by HADA COL with its five B vitamins and four important minerals. Two of these workers, a young father employed by the great Cannon Mills at Kan napolis, N. C., and a mother, work ing at a mill in nearby Salisbury, N. C., recently told how HADA COL had helped keep them on the job. Jay W. Barn hardt, Route 3,, Box 343, Kan- s napolis, N. C., is 30 years old and the proud father of two children. His work in the Cannon Mills calls for a great deal of standing up. “I had been ill for several years,” said Mr. Barnhardt as he explained how close he came to having to give up his work. “I suffered with a weak stomach. It became worse and worse with gastric disturbances. I just could not hold food and no food agreed with me. I could not sleep and finally I became so sick that my legs got weak as I worked in the mill each day.” Mr. Barnhardt, like so many suf ferers, had tried many preparations without relief, when he heard about HADACOL. "After the second bottle of HADACOL I began to feel better and to regain the weight I had lost,” said Mr. Barnhardt. “My digestion became normal again and today I am as well as ever. My legs no longer bother me. I eat and enjoy my food. I sleep well and have plenty of energy.” Mr. Barnhardt has taken several bottles of HADACOL and now takes the famous vitamin and mineral preparation to help stay well. He has had his wife take it with won derful results and has recommended it to his friends in the mill. Mrs. Maggie H. Poole, 1503 Caro line Avenue, in Salisbury, N. C., had become so ill that ahe was forced to give up her work, but soon after hearing the wonderful news about HADACOL she was back on the job and has been doing swell ever since. “I was tired, weak and nervous,” •aid Mrs. Poole. “I suffered indi gestion and food didn’t agree with me. I also had headaches. After tak ing five bottles of HADACOL I felt good and was back on the job at the mill. I had tried so many things that the HADACOL news was a real blessing to me. I have mor* appetite and eat what I want to. I feel better than I have in a long time.” Mr. Barnhardt and Mrs. Poole were both suffering from a lack of B Vitamins and the Minerals which HADACOL contains. HADACOL comes to you in liquid form, easily assimilated in the blood stream so that it can. go to work right away. A lack of only a small amount of B Vitamins and certain minerals will cause digestive disturbances... Your food will • not agree with I you . . . You will J have an upset] stomach . . . You! will suffer from] heartburn, gas] pains and your | food will sour on [ your stomach and | you will not be I able to eat the | things you like' for fear of being Mrs. Poole in misery afterwards. Many people also suffer from constipation. And while these symptoms may be the results o* other causes, they are surely ar d certainly ' the signs of lack of B Vitamins and Minerals which HADACOL contains. And if you suffer from such a deficiency disorder, there is no known cure except the administration of the vitamins and minerals which your system lacks. It is easy to understand, there fore, why countless thousands have been benefited by this amazing tonic, HADACOL. So it matters not how old you are or who you are ... it matters not where you live or if you have tried all the medicines under the sun, give this wonderful preparation HADA COL a trial. Don’t go on suffering. Don’t continue to lead a miserable life. Many persons who have suf fered and waited for 10 to 20 years, or even longer, are able now to livw happy, comfortable lives because HADACOL supplied the vitamins, and minerals which they systems, needed. Be fair to yourself. Tempo-’ rary relief is not enough for you.. Give HADACOL a trial! Insist on the genuine HADACOL*. Don’t be misled. Accept no substi tute. Sold at all leading drug stores. Trial size only $1.25, but save money; buy the large family and hospital size, only $3.50. If _your druggist does not handle HADACOL, order direct from the LeBlanc Cor poration, Lafayette, La., and when the postman brings your package just pay the amount plus the c. o. d, and postage. If you remit with the order we will pay the postage. Then, if you don’t feel perfertly satisfied after using HADACOL as directed, just return the empty car ton and your money will be cheer- rully refunded. Nothing could be fairer.—Adv. the bottom.” As It Were “Is this a station-to-station call?” asked the long-distance operator when a minister in Hoboken put in a call to another minister in Oma ha. “No,” he said meekly, “it’s a parson-to-parson call.” FORE! As two men were standing talking on the pavement in a Lancashire town a funeral came by. It was observed that a bag of golf clubs was resting on the coffin in the hearse. "He must have been a keen golfer," observed one of the on lookers. “Must have been?” said the other. “Is. He’s going on a match this afternoon. That’s his wife’s funeral.” Knew She’d Get H They bad agreed to share all their secrets during their married life so the young bride didn’t feel too guilty when she opened a let ter addressed to her husband. It was from his mother and con tained the usual small-talk. She was all ready to put the letter back into the envelope and reseal it as if it had never been opened when she noticed a postscript. “Dear Catherine,” it read, “I know you have a lot of influence with my son, so will you please see that he puts his rubbers on wher it rains?”