The people. (Camden, S.C.) 1904-1911, June 23, 1904, Image 6
* INNftKb TUU raon MOW.
Whan a look olind ikowi you aottog bit Ik* thick?t sort of gloom
Who? you're worried to the coativ of Mw wH,
Wkeo jroor pluo have oil miscarried im prorod coatlee io tk*?ir
And jtob'w nothing in your pocket* bat t hole,
Tken'e tho tiM to mow tknswioo: " What'* the we to nuke o tow?
Who coo tell o oit of dif ronco in o hundred years from now?"
When the pathway stretching endwiee tow'r<f life's slowly setting am
Show* the lions with their chains oil hid from view.
When it sssms there'e "nothing doing" in the providential lino
And when everything (except the oky) looks blue,
Tken io not tko tune to falter or tarn backward from the plow*
Will it oiVt o bit of diffrence in o hundred years from now?
Tot tkere's one thing win asake dtfTrence ten long doendeo further on*
Its tho way yon boor your trouble* day by day.
If you keep your top-lip otiflenod and a smile upon your face
As you stride toward tko lioae io tko way,
Tkeo tko worried world will carry fewer wrinkleo on ito brow.
Aid 'twill really make soms difference in a huadred years from now.
?S. W. Qillilaa, in Las Angeles Herald.
A SUBURBAN
SCANDAL.
By A. St. John Adcock.
E
DMUND DOLBY went
home from the city that
evening by an earlier traiu
than usual, and Mrs. Dolby
was out. "Do you know
#hert- Sirs. Dolby Is, Marthat" he
tailed to the girl In the kitchen.
"The mistress went out. sir. about
ten minutes ago. and aald ahe'd be
aaclc In half an hour.**
Edmund returned to the alttlng room,
and lay back In the low armchair by
?J?e Ore In gloomy meditation. He hud
?eeu uneasy In his mind all day, for
the night before he and Lett/' bad
)uarrel?d, and It was because this had
?een fretting him and he was wistful
?f making bis peace with her that he
bad contrived to get home so much
?arller than uaual. And now ahe was
ant.
The fact that tbls chanced to be his
birthday gave a keener edge to his Buf
ferings, and made her absence, when
4e came yearning for reconciliation, so
much the more Inexcusable. He sat.
auncbed In the armcbalr. brooding un
til be began to see a sinister stgnlfl
sance In her not being there to wel
come him; It became as clear to him
sgain aa If it had been last night that
tte had been Justified in the complaints
he bad made, and that her indignation
iad been assumed simply to blind blm.
The facts in connection with that
Quarrel were, chiefly, these: Edmund's
one particular friend in Watford was
Alfred Hllbert and Letty's oue partlc
Olar was Nelly Hllbert, Ms wife. Once
a week the Dolbys went round the cor.
ler and apeut an evening with the Hil
berts, and once a week the Hllbcrts
Jame round the corner and speut an
Ovening with the Dolbys. Moreover,
they frequently dropped In on each
ftther Informally; the wives occasion
illy ahopped together, the husbands
jook Sunday atrolls together, and their
friendliness would have been abso
lutely Ideal but for one jarring circum
stance.
There bad been a time when Alfred
Hllbert waa desperately In love with
Letty. Twice ahe lnyl rejected blm,
when Edmund uinde her acquaintance
and they fell In love with each other
at sight.
Alfred resigned himself to the Inevit
able so completely that, u few months
later, being a breezy young man whose
heart was too well Reasoned to break
oaslly, he transferred bis affections to
Nelly, who was already Letty's dearest
friend and had remuiued so ever since.
K-imund knew all about this from
the beginning. Alfred treated It as a
lest After they were all married he
would speak of his past lufutuatlon
openly at their weekly meetings, and
laugh about it, never seeming to real
ise that nobody enjoyed the Joke but
himself.
He was that sort of a man. Instead
of growing Inured to his facetious de
scriptions of his extinct passion, Ed
mund more aud more resented them,
even rebuking Letty now and then, ns
If she were to blame for having been
passively responsible for Alfred's fas
cination.
Last night, after llie Huberts were
gone, he had rebuked her with unrea
sonable Irritation, for he was of a nat
urally Jealous temperainent. and had
gradually persuaded lilntself that Al
fred was much too attentive to his
wife, and that Letty's manner toward
him wus unnecessarily gracious. He
told her so In no measured terms, mag.
nlfylng his grievances and saying more
than he meant, as an angry man will.
Letty was disposed at Ihe outset to
answer him laughingly, but her flip
pancy exasperated him. Finally, he so
lost control of herself that his prepos
terous hints anil Innuendoes stung and
Insulted her. Her cold dignity was un
abated by breakfast time this inornfng
and, as he could not humble himself
? nd surrender, he had gone ofT to the
city sullenly, without kissing her.
Awny from her he remembered nil
her sweetness and was ashamed that
his Jealously could so outrageously be
fool lilin. He yearned to be with her?
thinking of tender things he would say
to her; he would even ask her to for
give him; and only to imagine how she
would lean her head upon his breast
and ery brought tears to his eyes.
He had pictured It all vividly; he had
hastened home to fulltll his happy Im
aginings?and she was out.
"If she had sent me a telegram ask
ing me to come home it would have
tbeen nothing astonishing," he mut
tured, bitterly, "but. Instead of that,
?he Isn't even waiting for me when I
do eome "
There was a piece of crumpled paper
[Ting In the fender. He had noticed It
Idly, directly he sat down, and now,
suddenly, seeing there was writing on
It, he picked ft up, straightened It out.
and read It:
"Have got the tickets. Be at my
offleenot later than 7. and we will go.
Till death and after. Alfred."
He sat stunned, rereading It meeh*n.
leally, as If it meant nothing to him.
Gradually the words seemed to burn
Into his brain. Here, then, was full
and dreadful confirmation of bis worst
suspicious. He had not been mistaken
'ast night In thinking there was some
jecret understanding between them.
Here was their secret flashed bewll
daringly before him.
. He started to his feet and snatched
his watch from bis pocket. A quarter
past 0. There was a bare possibility
that he might even yet be In time to in
tercept them, and he must make the
most of that.
As he passed the Hllberts* (loot a
vaguely forlorn hope tempted blm
aside, and be knocked till the servant
opened it.
"Is Mr. Hllbert here?** he demandaC.
"No. sir."
"Where is Mrs. Huberts
"In the drawing room, air."
"I want to speak to her. Don't
trouble. 1 will go to her." He stepped
luslde and cloaed the door, and Nelly
waa scared by the pallor and the tense
expression of his face.
"Why?! What'a wrong. Edmund?"
she ejaculated.
He told her. panting and stammering
Incoherently.
, "Nonsense!" she Interrupted. "There
must be some mistake"
"There Is no mistake!" he cried. "I
have his letter to her."
"Where Is It?"
"He says '?he was fumbling hastily
In his pockets?"he says be has booked
their passage and she is to meet him
at his office by 7. . . . Oh. I can't
find it?must have left it at home! But
It doesn't matter?I've tohl you what It
says. What am I to do?"
"Oh. dear!" faltered Nelly. "I knew
?I?I told Alfred last night that he
was far too attentive to Letty?but oh!
I never dreamt"
"The ruffian!" he raged, wildly. "If
I can only lay hands on him ! But
I can't stop. I want to catch the next
train to Euston. It's a fast train and
may get me to his office just In time."
"Oh, please wait?let me come with
you!"
They reached the station not a mo
ment too soon. The train stopped no
where until It arrived at Euston. As
It drew up at the platform Edmund
sprang out and assisted Nelly to
alight.
"Here! What's up? Where are you
two off to?"
They started round and were face to
face with Alfred Hllbert.
"Where is my wife?" gasped Ed
mund, seizing his arui.
"Don't talk like a fool! Tell me
what's happened."
"You kuow well enough"
"I tell you I don't; I want to know!
And I want to know, too. what are you
two tearing off together like this for?"
Either he was a hardened and ac
complished hypocrite or he really did
And It hard to realize exactly what he
was charged with, and eventually he
was as baffled as themselves.
"All I can say is." lie reiterated, "that
note was not from me."
"But it's In your writing." Edmund
insisted.
"Can't help that. I've never written
to Letty in my life?not since you've
known her. Ned, anyhow. Where's
the letter?"
"I thought I had It with me"?Ed
mund began to search through his
pockets again?"! must have left it.
No, here it is."
He pulled it out. and the other two
read It over his shoulder.
"Yes. that's mine, right enough," Al
fred admitted. Then, ail of a sudden
lie broke into a roar of laughter. "It
is mine " i|
"it's no laughing matter"
"Why, mustn't a man write to his
own wife, then? It's the note I sent to
Neil, here, the day before yesterday."
"It can't bo! How can It be.?" pro
tested Eilmund. "I foitul it at my
house?In the fireplace."
"All right! You ask Nelly."
Nelly glanced at It again eagerly.
"So It is!" she crieil, laughing hyster
ically. "We were going to the theatre,
and weren't sure whether we could get
seats, and Alfred was to try and book
them on his way to the city and let me
know, and that's his note."
"And you both thought I"
"Well, but." Edmund interrupted, re
lieved and mortified at the turn affairs
had taken, "how Is it that it was in my
house?"
"Why. I called to see Letty this
morning, and she had a headache." ex
plained Nelly, "so I slipped back home
to fetch her some tabloids, and this is
the paper I wrapped them in?it hap
pened to be in my pocket. I gave Letty
the tabloids and threw the paper in the
fender. If I had thought of It while
you were telling me?and yet how
could I?"
"And you bolted In pursuit of Letty
nnd me!" chuckled Alfred. "I callcd
nt ?.he pnper shop on my wny home,
nnd I reckon you two went by whilst
( nan Inside. When I renched home I
found the girl hnlf off her head. All
she knew wus that Ned, here, hnd been
shouting, nnd you had run nway with
him, and she bud hearJ one of you sny
you must catch the next trnln to Ens
ton. I didn't know what to make of
It, ao I csrae nfter you, nnd Just man
aged to scramble into the last cnrringe
as the trnln stnrted. ? ? ? I say.
tnlk about running uwny with another
fellow's wife, though" ? be guffawed
aunln?"I think It's me thai ought to
do the shooting!"
But Edmund was In no mood to make
dght of his humiliation, tnd by de
grees the others sympathetically sub
dned tbem ^lves to his humor.
Back again at Watford, they shook
*?ai? and parted, tad whra Edmund
trtwiwl home there was Letty waltlnf
tar him.
?he met him In the hall. and. before
ke could decide bow to arsst her the
etaaped her arma round his neck. A
tender mist ahone in her eyee. an4
everything was coming about aa Ideally
as he had pictured It to himself In his
remorseful dreams during the day.
"I did so want you to come home
dear!" abe whispered.
?I was delayed." he mu/mured
awkwardly.
"Martha aaya you came In and ras
out again almost immediately."
**Tca. ? You were not here."
bad gone oat to get Alila for you
Ned.- "Tbla'V waa a gold pencil wltb
his Initials engraved on It. She drew
It from her pocket and offered It tc
him, abyly. "It was not ready laat
night. ? ? ? And I waa so?ao un
kind this morning! I never even
wished you**
He took most of the wlsbetf In kisses
"And I was afraid, when you came
home and went out again without aee
lng m?, that you"?her voice faltered
penitently?"that you were atlll angry
with me."
"No: It wasn't that, sweetheart. It
wasn't that at all."
"i was so afraid that, perhaps"?
"No. It was nothing but a "? ? ?
But, I say, Lett jr. I'm hungry!" he
said, scheming for time to think how
to tnske the l?ast of it-all. "Let us sit
down, and I 11 tell you the whole story
over dinner."?The Sketch.
Crowlae App?t|t? For Qalulao.
Quinine has become one of our sta
ple forms of food. It Is much more
widely and ardently eaten than garlic,
and It uiay Soon approach the popu
larity of pie. According to a report re
cently Issued, considerably more than
20.000 pounds of quinine were manu
factured In India in 1902. the greater
part in Madras, while* Java manufac
tured nearly 44.000 pounds. Iu addi
tion to this, over 18.000.000 pouuds of
cinchona bark were produced chiefly in
Java and India, and this was reckoned
to be equivalent to another 8C0.00C
pounds of quinine, so that the total
product of the food for the year wai
nearly 1,000.000 pounds. There arc
twenty manufactories of quiniue io
existence, qf which five are in Prance,
three in l?ni;!and. two each in Ger
many uiyl Italy, one iu Holland, foui
in America, two in India, and one in
Java. The two principal markets for
quinine are Amsterdam and London,
and the latter has greatly diminished
In Importance since the cultivation of
cinchona in Java has assumed such
large proportions. In fact, nenrlj
three times as much bark was sold at
Amsterdam In 11)02, so that, although
we probably use more quinine than
any other uutiou. tlfe Dutch are taking
the trade away from all the rest of
us. India has already taken the hlut
and is stimulating her growth of clu?
choua.?Boston Transcript.
Wrtir'i Part la Colloquial Terms.
"How many of our 'expressive ex
pressions are built around some ref
erence to water!" said a writer. "Take
a few brief examples for consideration.
If we think a scheme isn't very strong
or a statement decldely weak, we in
variably say 'it won't hold water.' Do
we infer that more wisdom lurks in
an individual's head than he is ordin
arily given credit for. what do we say?
'Still waters run deep.' When a per
son gets into some kind of difficulty,
we say he is in 'hot water.'
"When a proposition of any kind is
rejected, especially a proposal of mar
riage, It Is 4 case of having 'cold 'wa
ter thrown on our hopes.' Fortune baa
its 'tides.' and blessings or riches are
rained' down on us. If a speaker ex
hausts his topic and still tries to talk,
we say that he has 'about run dry.'
"Kumors are ulwa.vs termed 'afloat,'
and when a business enterprise goe?
down we call it 'swamped.' A mar
struggles to 'hold his head above wa
ter,' according to our colloquialisms
and when he doesn't know what plar
to pursue iu order to accomplish cer
tain ends it is said of him that he if
all at sea. 1 ?St. I.<ouis (ilobe-Dcuio
era t.
Willed HI* KilatH In too Word*.
Probubly the shortest will ever filet,
in Wyandotte County. Neb., was pro
bated in tlit* office of tlie County Judge*
It 1:4 liund written and occupies les#
than a half page of foolscap paper. It
contain* about 100 words, yet Probate
Judge Freeman, who is also a lawyer,
8a.v8 tliut Its purport In perfectly cleat
and tliut no necessary statement if
ouiitted.
The document reads as follows:
The will of May Morgan, a resident
of Wyandotte County and State of
Kansas, he being u farmer of said
county and State.
First, I give, devise and bequeath all
my property, both real and personal,
to Mettle Perry, my granddaughter, a
resident of said county and State,
hereby revoking nil former wills. In
witness whereof I, May Morgan, have
to this last will and testament, sub
scribed my tiume this 30th day of
March, A. L>. 11I0I.
The will was not drawn by nn at
torney. but was written by a neigh*
bor of Mr. Morgan, as the latter wa*
on Ills deathbed. Mr. Morgan was a
well-known farmer living in the north*
west part of Wyandotte County.
Durability of l.lquld Air.
An experiment for testing the dura
bility of liquid air lias been made he
tween Berlin and Clcneva. One morn
ing two quarts of liquid air were de?
llvered to the railroad at Berlin,
packed In a manner specially adapted
for this purpose, for transportation
to (leneva. The shipment arrived Id
tJeneva In five days, and after an ad?
ditlonal delay of half a day It was de
llvered to the chemical laboratory of
the University of (Jeneva. The gloat
vessel la which the liquid air wan
sent still contalued one-fourth of a
quart thereof, tvlilch was at once ex
perimented with.
A Curlou*
A. peculiar business transaction was
recorded at Lebanon. Pa., when Grocer
John Light transferred to Baker Will
lam A. Oarrett a fifteen acre farm In
Berks County for a consideration of
7000 loaves of bread, the bread to be
dellevered in quantities such as might
be needed to supply the daily demand
of patrons at (irocer Light's store.?
Philadelphia Hecord. - ?
HONOR ON.THE WANE?
AN ENGLISH WRITER ON THE
DECADENCE AMONG MEN AND
THE DUTY OF WOMEN
Ctiil
tkwa
mi PraMty?9!kl?Uflt7 ?< tk? WmM-W Wit T?i4i
ilak High Mtral Mau?Palltlci U TalaU4?Lylaf
i?rti Hat Art?-A* Apytal to Wtaca to Stop th?
awari T?ai?acj aad RMtort OU Caafliti
s
A RAH GRAND. In an Ar
ticle printed In the London
Chronlde. aaya: It has b^en
suics?atcd that man'a honor
l? a myth. And appearaucea
seen* to fa Tor the >U|cm
tlon. But It may be that here again
appearances are misleading, because
*o much more appeara now than of
?Id. Few escape from those amateur
public prosecutors, not of the press
but of our acquaintances, who come
Into our bouse under various pretext a.
take all that we bare to ahare with
them, and. in turn, sap our credit by
a system of petty criticism of every
act and word, from which the Lord
Himself would not hare escaped un*
scathed. They find what they seek
Jn human nature, theae people, nothing
but blemishes. There are undealrable
accretions on most characters thst can
be sloughed at will, tearing the charac
ter as it should be; but It Is the
aloughed accretions which the scaven
ger critic rake* out of the duat heaps
of our dead selves. to which they be
long. and would fain readjust to prove
his point. Certainly honor Is not very
conspicuous at the present time in the
hablta of meu. whatever It may still
be lu their estimation. Some say that
It never was at so low an ebb: but that
can only be said In Ignorance. Take
the Creevy papers, for Instance, to go
no further back. Prom the prince in
power to the struggling party politic
ian, what a picture we have there of
sordid self-seeking, of motives so mean
that a man must have extingulshd In
himself the most rudimentary sense
of honor* before he eould have acted
upon them.
Still, the fact that the existence of
liouor lu man has come to be called in
question contains a threat which is sig
nificant. Our national honor has been
little vaunted of late. Otr commercial
honor is a sore subject. Our profes
sional honor stands highest, but even
it has been assailed. And as to honor
In iK>litics, no one expects it of us.
Lately a politician in high repute, an
ex-member of many governments, the
hero of many u hard won debate, was
describing to me some electioneering
ilutlcs iu which lie had been engaged,
and iu the enjoyment of his subject he
hurst out with the assurance that of
course he had lied; he had to lie. or he
never would have carried his point.
It is not man's honor but his dishonor
that calls for comment every day.
The early life of a woman of my
time, cast out Into the world, as was
the custom, without preparation, her
faith in man full fledged, and no sus
picion In her soul, was apt to be dark
ened by disillusion. I know not how
It may affect a boy. but the first shock
of proof that a man can lie Is a thing
from whiclt a girl never recovers?I
mean a girl who lias been brought up
in the tradition of honor. There are
still some such. In the case of the
boy. It may be that the system of edu
cation at our public schools, by which
a hatred of learning Is lmplauted for
life in the breasts of the majority of
the pupils, may be subtly calculated
to destroy all Inconvenient sensitive
ness on the subjert of honor, as a
practical means of lilting boyw for sue.
cess in any career by robbing thein
at the outset of an old-fashioned in
cumbrance. To hear meu talk is to
think so sometimes. Levity is the pos'e
of the would-be wit of to-day. and the
tone or the subject of honor tends to
sink low enough to he tainted by lev
ity. In modern fiction heroes and he
roines are often made to lie as a mat
ter of course, and the reader is not ex
pected to think any the worse of them.
In tiie days of IMckens the badge of
honor was the unsullied word of hero
and heroine. Kven in conversation
men may lie heard nowadays taking
credit to themselves for having lied
successfully on occasion, a thing that
would not have been tolerated in gen
eral society barely a century ago.
Doubtless In those days there were
iiipii enough who dishonored their
word, but when they did so they held
It a lapse, not an evidciic of smartness,
and kept the matter to themselves.
There was still |u them at that lime
tlie saving grace of shame. An evi
dence of the change of tone in this re
spect came to me tlrst from a man of
tuark in his own time, a Homan Cat ho*
lie convert, ardent iu his devotional
exercises, devouring to the full, with
keen aesthetic fervor, the emotional
possibilities of Ids religion. We were
discussing a point of honor, and he
argued hotly that a man is not dishon
ored by a lie so long as he does not
bear false witness.
When a word falls into disuse, the
HUallty of which It Is the symbol is
apt to atrophy. In Kngland the word
honor is becoming antiquated, if not
obsolete. No one now Is expected to
talk of Ills honor, and the subject in
the abstract is only tolerated in the
official utterances of preachers in their
pulpits, orators on their platforms, or
an editor in a leading article. The
man who should venture to discuss
honor iu a fashionable drawing-room
to-day would be <|iicucbed with the
silence which signifies that he had
committed a solecism.
The ebb of honor corresponds to the
rise of the parvenu in our midst, and
the spread of the commercial spirit
among the decadent nobility, whose
sense of honor ?? notoriously anaemic.
By the commercial spirit I mean the
spirit which never given, but always
barters; which calculates upon a re
turn of Its offeriugs with interest; nnd
tends to make a cutlet for a cutlet the
highest hope of our modern hospitali
ty. Honor is of slow growth; It is said
tlmt It does not nppear lu the par
venu family until the third generation
?which I should accept as an indica
tion of the place these people have
wou for themselves in the estimation
of the public, rather than as a state
ment of the exact truth, although It
did happen to ine owe to be asked In
?vufidence by oue of them, "What oo
earth doM tt mean, this noblesse
oblige yon are always talking aboutr
In all this thsrs la an Indication of
danger, yet such statements make for
misrepresents tion when unqualified,
being true of indlvldnala only, not of
the nation st large. There are dlsbon
est polltlctsns. dishonest capltsllsts
dishonest tradesmen.snd s smaUcliqnrt
of smart rogues of bota sexes conspic
nons In society: bnt these people sre
the scum of their various classes, wbc
have risen like scum to the surface
and there become conspicuous, attain
Ing an unenvisble notoriety, not bj
reason of their merits, but for want of
tbe solid qualities which might hav#
secured fame for them In more deslr
able places. The nation Is not to b?
tried by the standard of decaden*
peers and unscrupulous capitalists
The parvenu, on bis promotion, hit
wealth made by methods which wIP
not bear investigstion. is not our typ
ical self-made man. We have still out
hereditary gentleineu. in whose faml
lies the tradition of honor has been
banded down unsullied to the present
time: and we have our great represen
tatives of honorable commerce, whose
careers are proudly quoted in evidence
of what a man may rise to, by honest
means, in a free country. Titles orig
iually indicated what was expected of
the bearer, and with us honorable and
right honorable are the most ordiuarj
titles. Honor is the health of a na
tion. and honor is still our national
ideal. It has been no vain boast froui
of old that an Englishman's word It
his bond, and English women will see
to it that it does not cease to be sc i
BRAVE MAMMA HIPPOPOTAMUS. I
An Ineldnnt Showing That Sointwherr In '
">? Hag* Animal Ll?i m Brain.
The hippomotamua Is not generally 1
credited with great Intellectual power j
I but It seems from the following Inci
dent. taken from the Popular Science
Mouthly. that somewhere In that mas*
! of flesh and fat resides a brain prompt
to act when necessity demands. Fot
several weeks tbe wonder an delight
of an English zoological park was a
baby hippopotamus, which was uainetl
Guy Fawkes because its birthday fell
upon the 5th of November.
The youug hippopotamus was about
the size of a bacon pig. of a pinkish-1
slate color, and as playful as a kitten.
It was ouly three days old wheu. as
the superintendent of the aoo was
watching the little fellow's antics, it
dived to the bottom and did not rise.
The grown animals never remaiu un
der water much longer than three min
utes; so as the time went on and no
baby reappeared, the superintendent
became alarmed.
Wheu twenty minutes had elapsed
be gave orders that the water be
drawn from the tank to recover the
body of what be felt sure was a dead
baby hippopotamus. As the plug was
being removed young <;uy Fawkes ap
peared. shaking his funny little horse
like ears, and wearing a hlppopotninic
grin, which seemed to say. "Don't be
frightened: I'm all right. You don't
know all about me yet." The young
a ni inn Is have a great power of re
maining under !?????, which they Jose
as they Increase in years.
The next time baby went to the hot
loin, however, was not so much of n
Joke. He tried to climb up tbe side of
I he tank in which there were no steps.
He fell back again aud again, until
be sank exhausted. The keepers were
gathered about the tank in great nni
lety, but unable to help. The mother
however, hurried to her baby with al?
her clumsy baste. She dived, put lier
broad nose under (Juy Fawkes. shay
eled him up. aud held him above flic
surface until he had recovered his
breath and was rested.
It was nearly half an hour before the I
little fellow was able to make another 1
attempt. Then he made a huge effort
Maiuuia Hippopotamus gave a big
shove with her bead, and Master tiny
Fawkes clambered triumphantly up
the side of the tank.
Anglo-Saxon Kngllfli.
Thorp is aii old fallacy that Anglo
Saxon words are best, 'flip fallacy is
based on tlie belief tliat words of An
glo-Saxon origin arc more simple and
vigorous than those derived from Lat
in. In point of fact, some Anglo-Sax*
on words are obscure and long, uud
many of otir commonest, most simple
words are from the Latin. The I^oli*
iIoii News tells a story in point.
A barrister more remarkable for the
vigor of his address to Juries than fot
his learning was commenting on the
proceeding of the other party in a case
under trial.
"I do not know what gloss mj
learned friend is going to put upon thi?
matter, but I will not mince my words
I denounce it in plain, downright An
glo-Saxon English as a nefarious
transaction.
Nee* Kvll* In Overntmly.
Henry It. Kdmunds, President of
the Philadelphia Board of Education
says half the public school nuplls ot
that city are suffering front lib
brought on by over stud.v. The princi
pal evils resulting, he says, are nervout
affections and defective eyesight, both
largely traceable to excessive home
study and the crowding of too man)
branches into the elementary grades.
He champlous the abolition of after
tioou classes aud the wiping out of r
home study.
Mythical Creatute* of Japan.
Japanese believe In more mythical
creatures than any other people on the
globe, civilised or savage. Among
these are serpents 800 feet long and
large enough t? swallow an elephant;
foxes with eight legs, monkeys with
four ears and fishes with ten heads at.
tached to one body. They also believe
in the existence of a crane which, af
ter It has lived 000 years, has no need i
of any sustenance except water.
UNIQUE hotel nut
KHDtrtMt Vkkk AM to U*
?f life In A flat to City.
Atlantic Citj Las a number of bote!*
glren ovw to "stags," and oue of these
display* the following sign*:
"Partiea contemplating suicide will
be furnished with all nece*?ary faclll
ties and the Intent Im pro red method*,
with assistance free and funeral ex
Penses defrayed.
"Tflffraph aud telephone service
free.
nlsbed'f^y *nd P?"tafe *taD>P*
I^Feuiale typewriters on every floor.
T^be best and most courteous atten
tion given to old maids (tbe older tbe
better), and families witb small chil
dren (tbe more the merrlen.
tlX>l W*??UM- ambulances and
cuablon-tired hearses on baud awaitiinr
demand. "
"Dog* allowed |n nny room lu tbe
..U*e< lnolml,tt* ?'?* family room.
"Ceiitlemeu din drink, smoke swear
cbew. gamble. tell shady storU^,. ?t?re
at the new arrival* or ludulge iu out
other amnsemeut common to tirst
clssa hotelH iu any part of the country
"Female bicycle messengers on ever*
floor.
"Couples desiring the services or a
minister will kindly leave word at the
olMoe. One of any denoiniuutlon will
be furnished at short notice. We stand
In with them all.
"Parties desiring to leave bj tin
window will notify the porter, mo tuat
he can lend his assistance.
"Hair dressing, chiropody and man!
curing free of charge.
"Don't blow out the gas. If you
must commit sulfide, bud some otlict
process.
The clerkr. are college graduates
carefully ?eloct(Hl to please evervhojy
arfU eau lead in prayer, play draw p<>
k?r.- lawn tenuis, croquet, shake the
dice, dance a Jig. play billiards, take a
Stitch In crochet work, lead the ger
mau. spin a tough yarn, play on the
cornet and plauo, put on the gloves
work the growler, hold a baby, delivei
a lecture and wait on forty gentlemen
at once. They are authority on all
sporting events throughout the conn
try. can talk Dutch. French. Hebrew
Kavajoe. Army .loe. Creek. Latin.
Choctaw and How-de-do and whistle
the balance."?Washington Star.
Making Figure* I.I*.
"Most of the figures handed out by
these physical culture cranks on the
subject of cheap living." said a house.
keeper who does her own marketing
"make women extremely weary. Out
husbands aud sons read them, believe
them, and then sniff significant I v at
the weekly totals in the grocer s
I was reading the other day au article
by a well-known .New York physical
culturlst who uudertook to show how
he had lived fifteen day* on eighty
four ceuts. He put down crushed oats
at three cents a pound. Kiyht ccii..? i?
the correct figure ir you want oats that
have nny nourishment in them, lie
mentioned watercress at flve cents a
bunch. Well, one bunch lasts my hus
band two uieals. it would look piet y
thin strung out over fifteen days. He
charges for three pounds of rice fif
teen cents. It costs eleven cents a i
pound if you want good rice. For ten
apples he allows ten cents. Must be
queer apples. For six Swede turnips
lie puts down six cents. The grocers
have been charging six cents for one
nil winter. So use trying to fool wo
men with figures like these. Tli ?v
know better."
Quick Work.
At one tiine Bishop Williams
Marquette, was university preacher :u
Cornell for a few Wft-k*. aad during
that time he not only gave fine sp
inous. hut provided his friends at the
university with rnnif good stories.
One lie brought from Winnipeg
where he had been attending the synod
of the Canadian Church. He had seen
there n missionary bishop who had
come a long Journey, traveling for si.;
weeks, most or the time b> canoe. I
i his missionary had brought mes
sages and excuses from a brother
bishop, who was prevented from com
|ng to ihe s.Yiiod bciause "his diocess
had gone to the dogs."
He proceeded to explain that the
brother bishop was Inboiing aniomj
the Ksklmos. north of Hudson Bin
He had built them a church wi.h
whales' ribs for rafters, covered wi. ?
tanned walrus hide.
"It held eighty persons." said tin
missionary bishop, -and served h/
purpose well until in a bad tim. tin
dogs grew famished and devoured lliu
church!"
Handlr** Kl<l<ller. I
Frank Clawsou is the name of it
singular tiddler, of Atlanta. *vln? i>'
without hands. Mnny years ago hi
wnH caught in n blizzard ntid his arm*
frozen <?o badly that both hand? were
nmpiitnted ?t the wrists. For a Ion:;
tiuie the violin was silent and lie sup
posed that his tlddling days were over
lie decided, however, to experiment
nnd, being a mechanical genius. In?
made n contrivance of heavy wire
which would enable him to wield lit*
bow. The fingering was more dltlicult
but by long practice he trained thf
stump of hiw left hand to make tli* |
necessary shifts from one string tc j
ii not iter and the vuryimr positions
With the violin held in place by liii (
chin and knees and with the help <>' ,
his lingeries* arms, Dawson manage?
to play his old thue selections will*
nearly as much skill as lie formerly
did.
M**to?lon Tooth In
A magnitlcent and perfect inastoilot
tooth was uneartheil at the Teitnessci
Marble Company's property near Con
cord n few days a no, and was brough
to Knoxvllle. where It has created con
slderahle curiosity. The tooth wa>
found In making a dam for the opera
tion of a hydraulic ram. The tooth P
a fossil, but identically like the orlg
inal tooth. It shows every indenture
and surface condition of a real tooth
It is about seven inches In lenutli
across the crown ami about fou:
Inches wide. The roots are perfect,
except where broken off near tli#
points. The broken places show th?
hollow part of the tooth. It is thought
that the tooth is the only part of tli#
mastodon to be found at the place, tlif
tooth being probably carried to tti<
plo?* by water.--Knoxvllle (Ti-oo.)
? ?tuxal,
Humor of
Tbxl&y
Tk? New Vtnioa. ?
A uldirr of the Kumian*
Lay japann?sl at Tschrisvkjekivitch,
There waa lack of woman's nutata*
And other comforts which
Might add to hia last moment*.
And smooth the final way:
But a comrade stood beside aim
To bear what he might say.
The japanned Kutsian faltered
Aa he took that comrade's hand.
And he said: "I never more shall aea
My own. my native land;
Take a message and a token
To some distant friends of mine. _ ^
For I was born at Sninlxxrskmrrski.
Fair Smnlxxrakgqrxski on the Irkztrv?
klmnov."
?W. J. L., in New York Sua.
Rs|S|*smsI Time.
He?"At wha. time In a girl's Iff*
?houUl she be eng?s?l?"
She- -' Just before she Is married."?
Y outers Statesman.
Ths Other Fellows.
Turtle Willi*?"Say. pa. what kind of
modesty la false modesty'."
Pa?"False modesty i the hind other
people liave, my son."
Satuasd.
Salesman?"Are those shoes targe
enough for yon?"
Pretty (iirl?"No. but they, match
my suit."? Hetroit Free Press.
The Two Kinds.
?*The great art of conversation Is to
tempt ether people to t?lk."
"Yes. but some people nee*', to be
headed off."?Cincinnati Tribune.
Hardljr.
"Did you take In the Louisiana Pur
chase Imposition?"
"Well." said the man. jingling three
pennies ami a souvenir medal. "I doubt
if the exposition was taken iu."
Kaonnh.
?'Geewliiliklns. what's the matter
with Bittlns? Has he lost his inouey
in speculations?"
"Oh. no. Bittlns Is all right. That is
merely his housecleaning time face."
Maklnn Himself Agieenbli*.
"Uncle George Rays 1 was born with
a silver spoon iu my mouth."
"A spoon in that little mouth! Obi
I see?It was one of those after-dinner
coffee spoons."?Cleveland Plain Deal
Keciproclty.
She?"But if you say yon can'I bear
the girl, why ever did you propose?"
He?"Well, her people have always
been awfully gootl to tne. and it's the
only way 1 could return their hospital*
lty."?Punch.
The Only Hop*.
"Of course, she's got a pretty baby
now: our only hope is that as she gets
older she'll grow handsomer."
"Yes. I guess there's nothing t'or
you to do but believe in 'age before
beauty.' "?Philadelphia Press.
Changed His Hoarding House.
"Is your dog trained?" asked the
new boarder.
"Oh, luy. ye:," replied the boarding
house lady; "he goes down to the
butcher's every day and brings homo
the meat for dinner iu his mouth."
His One Accomplishment.
"But." she protested, "you should
be ambitious to make a name or a for
tune for yourself. You can't mako
anything by sitting still."
"I can make love." he replied, with j
soulful simper.?Chicago Tribune.
Lurk jr.
"There goes the luckiest man In St.
Louis." remarked the old resident of
the exposition city.
"Lucky! lie don't look it."
"Well, he is. lie hasn't got n rela
tion iu the world outside of St. Louis."
Next (test.
"Ah!" she sighed, "now that you
have rejected uiy proffered ban.!, I
have nothing more to live for."
"Oh, 1 don't know." he replied.
"There are two full-page bargain ad
vertisemei.t* iu this evening's p ip -r."
?Chicago News.
Km*v>
Teacher?"Williams, this Is an ex
ample in subtraction. Seven boys
went down t<> a poml to bathe, but
two of them hail been toiil not to go
into the water. Now. can you tell mo
bow many went iu?"
Williams?1"Yes. sir. seven."
Went lligli?*r l'|?.
"He Isn't in our hocial set any
more."
"So I understand."
"Yes, lie dropped out some tirao
ag<?."
? ? "i.v. he gave in-* to understand ho
had Himhed out."?Philadelphia 1'rcsn.
I'onil Memol lei,
Slu* -"I?o yon remember the first
night .von called?"
He?"Oil, . es."
"1 had a sort of flower in my hair,
didn't IV"
"Yes, and L had some sort of flour
on the lapel of my coat when I got
home."
New OiTupnllon.
"I don't see your name in the maga
zines any more."
"No; all my time is occupied in writ
ing unpublished poems of Burns. By
ron. and the rest of them, and pont
humous novels of a dozen authors who*
died without permission of their pub
lishers!"
(tetter t/n?l<l.
Paterfamilias (to unexpected guo*t?
?"Why didn't you send us word you
were coming? i'ot-luck, you know
my boy'. Hope you have managed to
make a pretty good dinner."
Unexpected Uuest (politely)?"Blea#
you, old man! I hope I may never
have a worse one."
Limit**! Ouiirantff.
Customer?"I think this is what my
daughter told me to set. You guara^*
tee it to be one of the popular songs of
tb*? day?"
Music Dealer?"Yes. sir; but of
course I can't guarantee its popularity
union* your neighbors after your
Snughter has learned to sing It." -Uhl?
tngo Tribune.