Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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^qo&^vc} a jet* ? % 49?? a? 4M 40*00 86B ,ofir?% A J *>* MBJJMj -?-TT - TWO DOLLARS PER ANNUM. V V@OTME 8. GOD AND OUR COTJjNTTIIY. ALWAYS IN AI) i SATURDAY MO?NINGF, MAY 9r 18T4. NUMBER 14 THE QR?NGEBURG NEWS AT ORANGEBURG ' "Eyery Saturday Morning. BY THK ?BAtfGEBIJRG NEWS COMPANY ?:o:? TERMS OF? SUBSCRIPTION. Qae Copy for one year. $2.00 &4S2??qcGi> SixtMonth. 1.00 lay oho leading TEN DOLLARS, for a Cliiui-'e'f- ifi* Suhseribers, will receive an EXTRA COPT for ONE YEAR, free of ?k?rg?. Any one sending FIVE DOLLARS, ?r a Qlab of Now Subscribers, wiB receive aa EXTRA COFYfor SIX MONTHS, free o arg?. RATES OF ADVERTISING. $ Saaaro 1st Insertion. Sll.fiO ?? ?? 2d ". 1.00 A. Iqaaro eoaaUts of 10 lines Brevier or eat inoh of Advertising space. Adstlaiitrater's Notices....".$5 00 Neticoa of Dismissal of Guardians, Ad ministrators, ExeeutorB, &e.$9 00 Contract AdTortisomonts inserted upon th" ?:q:? MARRIAGE and FUNERAL NOTICES not ^.xaooding ??? 'Solare, inserted without ?karg?. ?2S Jfc?fc e!;. r-?-:o>? Terms Cash in Advance. ~?a ( W; TERRY MURPHY, ^'ATTORNEY AT LAW, BBANCttYlLLE, S. C. "Will practice hi tho Courts of Orange bargi? Colleton and J*arn-.7el 1. fa? 7_Sm Drsf KM* Barton & Thos. Legare. Having united themselves in the practice ?of MEDICINE under the name of BARTON & LEGARE. Offeis their professional aerviecs 1o Ibc Town of Orangeburg and surrounding ?Country. Office hours from 8 to 9$ A. Mb. a*d 7 to 91 at night. ?I?cc niirKjbi a.ceai two m??>? ocJotTJ. | B. Hamilton's Store. dee 27 IS7S '^jUR. C, IL TAR ER. . LRWISVILLR, 8. C, (ST. MATTHEWS P. O.,) jane 5 1878 tf If jrou bare no Land, go Buy as much as you want on EASY TERMS at the LAND OFFICE of AUG. B. KNOWLTON. noT 15_tf If yon have More ILnn<l than %???>4a?x EAT TAXES on, Register it for salt at the LAND OFFICE of AUG. B. KNOWLTON. If yon have I^ess Lnud than you want, BUY MORE at the LAND OFFICE of ? S? ADO. B. KNOWLTON. ILiALjNFD AGENT Tk? Undorsigncd has opened an OFFICE for the SALE of LAND. Persons having REAL ESTATE to dis Sis* of will do well to register the Bamo f-aalo. LARGE FARMS subdivided and' sold in ?eitlxur LARGE, or SMALL parcels. GOOD FARMS for sale at from $2 to $6 /per afire, on .easy-terms. .^?AUGUSTUS B. KNOWLTON, Orangeburg C. H., S. C. ? f J. FELDER MEYERS, TRIAL JUSTICE. ? OFFICE COURT HOUSE SQUARE, ?Will gtTe prompt attention to all busihess entrusted te him. mar 2D?tf ?_._;_.?_._ Browiiing & Browning, AlTOUltEXS AT LAW, OBANQEBUflti <D. II., So. Ca. .'MaLOOLM J. liBOWVIKO. A. F. Browning. iney .4 i&piJSTUS B. KNOWLTON ;ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR <tea& 0 AT LA W, s .J.,,,, ^ _-., , ..... ? rise* t. $BJAL JUSTICE, '&?ti<lcnce In Fork of Ediftto, w(? BUSINESS ENTRUSTED rill be '**0*$*!y *?d carefully attended to. AJNight in tho Woods. The events ?which form the subject of the following sketch occurred during a' sojourn of three months with n survey ing paity in one of the wildest districts of Canada. We were occupied in, tracing the course of a hitherto un explored river, which unfolded to us a succession of scenic effects, such as would have delighted an artist and j oct, and which they ouly could de rcribe. It would be difficult to convoy to tho reader who has not bivouacked out in the woods, che luxury of those evenings around the camp fire. Alter a denl of story-telling, we all turned in for tho night?that w, we rolled ourselves iu our blankets, an I fell asleep with our f'oct toward th.: fire. The stories told upon tho oveiin ; I have in my mind hud all been ab nit wolves, some of which rapacious area tures wen*, said to be then in our neigh borh iod. Owing, perhaps, to my iinu ginatioii having been rxcitcd by thuse ,talcs, I hud a terrible tiighttuure. 1 dreamed that wolves wero pursuing mo ; I knew thoy were gaining on mo j 1 could hear their howls growing more and more distinct. There is a point of agony at which all dreams must have An eud?I awokt with a terrible start, and found myself bathed in a cold sweat, and a prey to a sense of terror for which I could not accotiut. Instead of the cheerful blaze which I had seen ere I fell asleep, all was uow cold aud dark. The fire had simk to a heap of red embers. I could not distinguish one of my sleeping vompanions. Good heavens ! can I be still slumbering't There, ngain^ is the long, low. wailing howl which I heard so distinctly in my dream. I sit up erect, and listen. What is that sound?a tni'tlihg^aiHuiig the brush wood?s*?inc of titc party ctirriug t No, all are silent as (he grave. I nm the ofify ionortjTaV?v>-?> g"ff[???V"t<^-~ npain ! Surely I am mistaken. 1 thought the lire whs nearer in mo. ju-u in front ; and SO it is. \Yhut> tUeil. C4II be thosu two glimmeriug lights a few yards off? Now they are moving! I awake the nearest sleeper?un Amen eati named Silas Wood. The man starts to his feet, rubs his eys. 'What is it V 'Look there, Silas ' Liu looks, and us quick as lightning, seizes a burning fagot, aud hurls it with all his force and at) unerring aim. The gleaming lights disappear with a rustlo of tho brush wood?a sharp, short bark close at hand, and then in a minute or two, the long low wail iu the distance is hoard. Silas then stirred aud raked the burn ing embers, and throwing on an im mense heap of dry brush, in a second the Egyptian darkness is dispelled by a bright flame which leups up six feet into the air nnd brings tho sleeping figures and the nearest trees into full rcliof. 'Silas, what does it all mean'/' I asked. I 'It means, squire,' replied the Atucri can, speaking with his usual deliberate drawl?'wolves !' 'Wolves I' I re-echoed. 'Then those two gleaming lights that 1 took for glow worms were?' 'A wolf's eyes, squire ; and I guoss his friends wuru't fur off, awuitiu' kinder unxious to hear tell ofthoir svout. ilurk ! if the dnriH'd things ain't agroanin' and lumentiu' over their disappointment, as sure us my name's Silas Wood.' Ouce more tho long low howl, inex prussibly ?ud and fearful, was heard at a greater distaueo. Now that 1 know what it implied, it made the blood cur dlo in my voius. 'I shall never forgot n wolf's howl,' I exclaimed; 'I heard that accursed sound iu my dream as plainly us 1 hear it dow Hut nre wc not in danger? and I began mechanically to pile up more wood ou tho blazing tiro. 'No fears now, squiro,' replied tho Vtuikce coolly ; 'tho cowardly critters datsn't come near a fire liko that. Bo sides I roekon tho toller I seared so with that 'ere burning chip has told 'em it's no go by this time. They're as cunning as humans, is them oritters. Ay be off, and a good riddauco to ye, y howling varmints I' he added, as the low wail was once more heard dying atray in the distance. '? Notwithstanding tho asturnuco that the wolves were retreating, I took great ' 1 ho;uro in seeing tho fire blazing uj> brightly, for I know thtt Tn that con sisted nur protection-. 'I supp iso we have had a uan*ow escape V I said' to my companion, who, bcaidcs myself was the only onetfwuko in tho camp. 'I reckon I've seen a narrower, then,' replied he. 'Why that 'ere ukulkio' scout darsu't havo give Warning to tho rest oi tho pack as loug as a single red1 ember remained . The critters is dreed ful afearcd of fire.' 'Well,' I rejoined, 'I am not at all sorry I aweke when I did. Hut as we ro the only two uwnke, suppos-s'you tell me this narrow escape you nllukle to ? that is, if you don't feel sleepy.' 'Alo, squire?. I ain't sleepy, not a niosscl. I couldn't sleep a wink, if [ tried. I feel too kinder happy like to have cotched that durned sncukin' scout sich a lick ;' at'd the Vuukee laughed, (juitc tickled at the recollection. lI guess be h;>d it right slick utwecu the eyes. 1 kunwed he felt it by tho bark be gnve Well, squire, it'll give mo considerable sali faction to narrate my adventure with the turnol critters. I guess, cqutre, it be a matter often year ugoncthut Deacon Nathan had a raisin' away down to Stockville, iu Vuruiouut, where I was reared. 'Well, I guess it were pretty big barn that Deacon Nathan was agoin' to raise, and bo wo had a considerable sight ot boys, and a regular spree ; und when it came to draw towards uight, the deacon ho. says to mo : 'Silns,' says he, '1 don't kinder feel easy leavin' this here barn unprotected during the dark watches of tho night. Tho heart of man is despor atcly wicked, and there's some loafers in tho village, and there's no end to boards and shingles lying about, and so, Silas, what will you take to stop hero all night V *l)eacxm,' sajs I, 'what will you give ':' 'Well, you see the deacon was close where money was ounce rued ; so he puts ou a loug lace, and screwed his lips together, and says v*ny sluw, 'Would a rdoHur--^'-;-' '?- . i ?Deacon,' says I, ''taint worth my while to slop fir that ; but. if you make it four, 1 don't mind if I do. 'Well, we chaffered and chafferol for a considerable spell, and ntlast we con eluded to strike a bargain for two dd lars aud a pint of rum. The boys was a pretty well a'most cleared out when Da vo Shunyser comes to me and says 'Silas, says he, 'be it true you're a goin to stop here all night ?' ?I reckon I ain't agoin' to do not hin' else,' I says. 'Take a fool's advico,' says Dave, 'and do iiothiu' of tho sort.' 'What tor ?' sajs I. 1 ?'Cause,' says ho, 'thoro's several refused ; ond the deacon kno.ved you to be a kinder desperate chap, or he wouldn't, have axed you.' 'Why man alive,' says I, 'whar's the danger to come from ? ' 'Why,' says Dave, 'ain't you ahcerd there's been wolves seen in the neighbor hood ? Didn't the deacon tell yotf as how he lost two sheep only the nfcht afore last? You darsu't make furo, cause of the shavings j aud the oarti aiu't boarded up.' 'Davo,' says I, 'dont you think to pull the wool over my eyes that foshioa, und then havo it to say you circumvotted Silas Wood. I reckon I can read yiu as easy as a bonk. You'd like to an ?ium two dollars yoirsolf. Well, no*/, I'll tell you wh tt I'll do with you. rl\vu'? company ; if you like to ?top wlh me. you're welcome ; aud I don't ejre if I share the brass into the bargain/ 'Says Dave : 'I wouldn't storta night in this hero barn as it is, not \'<i a (ive lum tired dollar bill. Koraomtfr, Silas, I've warned you as a frioud ; And away he went. 'Well, squire, I warn't pin' to let Davo scare me, 'causo I kn.tfel ho <vas sweet on a gal called Uini p/kins, that I were kebphl* company will and would havo been oonsidcrnblu rejfloed to have it to tell how I had fun yd ; and as 1 hadn't hoerd tell of wares iu them purts, I jest thought he sal that by way of banter I 'Well, I mado mysol Komfortable in the barn. It vr?s aljooarded up on threo sides, and partium the fourth; only there was a gnpf't for the door, big enough to let in a vlg"u load of hay. it wou'ntcold, bein'aloc night in tho Indian aumraor 8o 1 kept a strollin* up aud down, tukiu' flook out now and agio, to see if there vP anybody l?rkiu' about with ao eye?to the boards and shingles, but there wnrr/t a soul stirrin ' but myself. Every now aud* *gin, I'd mix rnyrelf a little grog, till tho rum was all gon e, nnd then I began to feel most evorlastin' sleepy ; so I thought I'd jest lay down awhile .on a big pile of shav iogs there was in one corner of the barn Well, rquire, I dropped off, as. you may suppose and I guess it were long of what Davo,Shunyser said I got to drcamin' about wolves, till at last, blamo mo? if I didn't dream thero was one in-tho barn luitin' about jest like u dog, hmiflin' here and there, till at last he eautc to the pile-of shavings where 1 Was-. 'WeN', squire, t can't call to mind how I woko exactly, but the fust thing I remombor I was Bittio' right up 0:1 the pile of shavings; tryin' t> mako out as well as I could'in Clre'dark if there was anything in tho barn or n it. It w is about* a miuutc belore I could see clear ly ; but at last I heard tv flight rustle, and thotrghf T saw sotnetrVir*' move Thinks I, that's Dave Shunyt?arfnfsoiue of* the boys, cc?r.c back to frighten me They shan't have it'to crow over ate. So I sings out, -Is that you, Dave V There was uo answer, but I heard a rustli-n' and a natter jest like a dog's paws, and I could see the crittoV, whatever it was, crawlin' towards the gap in the boards. Then it stopped, and kinder turned its head, and I cotchedj sight of two twink iin' lights, and, thinks I, it's a stray dog ; when tho critter givo a spring out of tho barn, and sot up a howl. 'Squire, I shouldn't have been scared with one wolf, but that howl was an swered from the woods, maybe a quartor of a mile off, by another, whioh I know od could only have come from a pack of not less than fifty hungry boasts. Well, squire, I was awful sjcared, and that's a fact; but I guess Sf I'd a lost my pre sence of mind, it v.-o.-1 d ha' been all up with me in about five minutes. I know ed I htidn't a momnut to los?., 'cause I heered the howl C'ttJ^r nearer nnd near cp ; _and /1?o.jy^*<^ti.wlW'*^9-x?c?tM?ci. ' own outside caning them to their prey t My first idea wns to set fire to the shav ings. I out wi'h tpy flint and steel, but the spunk Wouiau't light, and not one of tho ah avings would cotch. The howls kept cumin' uighur and nigher Then I begin to think I was gone There was an axe iu the barn, but what could I do ngin fifty woi yes ? and in the dark, where they couldn': see ray eyes to daunt them. 'I clenched it, however, and deter miued to sell my life dearly, when all to oncet, just when I'd given up all hope, I felt something touch agin my head ? it was a rope as had been fast to ono of the rafters. I guess, squire, if that 'era ropo had ben a foot shorter, I'd not been here now tellin' this story ! Tho way I went up that rope, hand ovor baud, was a cuution. And I'd barely swung myself on the tafter, and began lashin' myself to the beam with the rope, when, squire?it makes my blood run cold to tell of it?the bam was alive with wolves, jolpin', leapin', and fallin' over each other. I could hear thoiu routin' among the shavings ; and in a minute they had them all sprod over tho barn floor. Then they begun to muzzle in the earth and soratoh up the mould with their paws. ?At last one of'cm scented me, and told the others with a yelp. Then, of all tho yells I ever heard !?frijuir^. I j most swooned away; and if I hadn't lashed myself to the rafter, I'd ha" fell right dowj among 'em. Oh, such a yell I never heerd Afore, ami hope I'll never hear agin ! Tlioygh I knowed they e uldti t get nt me, it was dreed fill to be there alone in the dead o! tho night, with a pack of hungry wolves liekin their slavcrin' jaws, and thir.-tin' for my blood. Thoy ran routid and round the barn, un 1 leaped on to ouch other's backs, nnd sprang into thu air ; but it was no use ; and at la%t 1 began to get kinder o.my, mid I looked down on the howlin' varmints, and bantered thutn. Squire, you'd ha' thought tlicy tin lor stood u. feller. Every time I holioro I aud shook my first at them, they yelled and jumped louder than ever. For ull this, 1 warn't sorry whon it begun to grow u littlo lighter ; and ubout half an hour before dawn they bogau to s&j it was no use j so they give mo one h tig, loud farewell howl aloro they went. Dut, squire, tho most curious part of tho story has got to come. Sumu time afore they wout, it had growed so light I could sco 'em quite plain ; aud an ugly set of beasts thoy wus, and no mistake. Well, I . noticed one wolf ?eparate Imn self fron> tho pack, and trying to^l'ink' away. Ho had hia Bail between his lens, jest like a dog when no's beaten, and had a cowod loik, as if* he were ashamed nnd a Ion red like All at oncct, he made u spring out of the barn, but the rest of tho pack was after him like lightnin'. 'Squire,' concluded the Yankee, lay ing bis baud impressively on my sleeve, ?you may believe it or not, jest as you please ; but beyond soino hiie and hairs, they didn't leave a piece of that 'ere wolf as big as my hand, lie wus the scout as give the signal to the others, uud they devoured him out of hunger and. revouge, 'came they coul In't get me. Jenkins Plays With Tho Kami. I once moro applied my talents to the trombone, this time in an honest ef forts to nid tho band. I don't know hew I did it but I did it. Sud denly there resounded from the cyl indor of brass the most doleful sound that ever assailod the earn of mortal. 'Uo't in Himmel,' muttered the leader, without looking around, and tho instruments "crashed, over the error and crashed it out of reoolloo tion. 'Boro, hum, boom, boom, blair-rr, fox V tOC you blouse, Chen kins, you po so gind1,-yoo don't any more.' and there Was an expression of agony on the lea der's faoo as he spoke. 'Never mind; old man/ I suggested, these people expect musio, and I'm go ing to give 'em a show.' 'Blnir-r-r, boom, bom, bum, boom, fiz-z-z, bum, bum !' 'Mein Gott, main Gott, JJMisser Chen kins, vas is das 7 Toyfcl j you should mok owit of dat pnnd.' 'Fizz, boom, blair, boom, fizz, blair, bum, bum 1' \ The dancers stopped-'nu'd 'gazed on tho bund with airia?"".? ? . V 'Told you h?, old nian. See, they ca?'t danue while this is going un. (.rot to stop and listen. Wait until I give them smother note.' *Fizz,zump, boom, blair r r r, bum. bum, bu*tn. bum, pout, Ziltu, Qzz, swash; bum, fizz !' We were playing the 'Beautiful Danube,' and I was imitating the wash of the waves on the beach. The leader swung hla violin bow aud every musician straiued to drown my efforts. '/iump. bum, swash, boom, fizz, wish, pouf, bum, bum, blair r r r I' 1 he assemblage stood in amtze. Thoy evidoutly novcr heard suoh mu sic before, and thoy enjoyed it. My brother trombonist, who didn't make half so much noi.se as [ glared at ran, but kept blowing. 'Misser (Jhcnkins, of you bloasc, go away mit dat tatn horn ?, 'Boom m m m in, fizz, blair, bum. bum, bum, bum. zump .' 'Hat, tat. tat, tat,' struck the bow against the music stand, and the music died away with a closing effort on my part, My fell jw musicians gl ire 1 at me, but said nothing. The leader up proachod me with wrath in his eyo auJ a tremor on his lip. 'Mein Herr,' said he in a tearful voice, 'my ,d, I should kill you for dot noise,' A Warning; to Lovers. 'Metihly, you nre the most good f??r notliiti', tr lie', nu htcious, contrary piece l hat ever lived.' 'Oh mil;' s.i1 bed Matilda, 'I could not help myself ? 'dv'tfd I coil! ! noo' 'Couldn't help yourself? That's a pretty way to talk! Ain't ho a nice young man V ' Yes'ui.' (Jot money ?' ' Yes'-m.' 'And good kioiblks?' ?Ycs'n..' 'And love* you to distraction?' ' Ves'in.' ' Woll in tho name of oommon sense what did you s-n 1 him home for:" 'Well, ma if I must tell the truth, I must, 'aposd, though I'd rather dio. You tee, ma, when he fi tched his cheer up close to mine, aud kotchud holt of my baud und squuz nnd drapt en his kuees; thou it waa that his eyes rolled and he begun breathin' hard, and his gallowses kept 8 creaking aud a oraokio,' till I thought iu my soul somothtn' ter rible was-tho matter with his innrds, his vitals; and that flustered and Bkeer od me so, that I burst out a cry in/ .SsriiV me drvthatf he croaked' worse than ever, and that made m? cry har der; ami tho harder I cried tho harder he cracked, till of iv sudden1 it earner to me that it waamthirF' but his gallowses; and then I burnt out a laughio' fit to kill myself, right in his faoe. And then be jumped up and run out of the house mad as fire; and he ain't com in' back no more. Boo, boo, ahoo bne boo hop ' ' ' ?Mct'lJy,' says the old woman stern ly 'stop sniv'lin. You have male an everlasting fool of yourself, but pour cake ain't all dough yet. It all comes of thorn no 'count, fashionable sto' gal lowsca?'spenders I believe they call 'em. Never mind honey! I'll send Johnny, aud tell him low it happened, 'pologize to him, and knit him a real nice pair of yarn gallowses, jest liko your pa's and thoy never do croak.' 'Yes inn,' said Muti'da, brightoning up, 'but let me knit 'em.' ?So you shall, honoy; be'll valley them more thau if I knit 'cm It'll " be all right. You mind if it won't.' Sure enough it proved to be all right Tildy and Johnny were married, and Johnny's gallowse* never creaked any more. A Lawyer's Advice. ? An Irishman, by the name ot Tom Murphy, once borrowed a sum of mon ey from oue of his neighbors, which he promised to pay in a certain time. But month after month jpassad by, and no sign of the agreement being kept, his creditor at last warned him that if he did not pay it on a certain day ho should sue him for it and recover by law. This rather frightened Tom, and, not bel?g able to get advice on.tho matter. | After hearing Tom's story through to the end be risked him : *TlitJPyTtUT?hetgiit-^A? _ \ i:?r'imlts:i t , show that you owe him this filty dol d.rs:" ?Divil a word.' replied Tom; rjuitfk iy 'Well, then, if you. have not tho mon ey you can take your timo; at alluV.outS, he cannot collect it by law.' ?Thank yor honor, much obligol,' said Tom, rising and going toward i tho door. 'Hold on, ray friend,' said the law yer. 'Fat for?' asked Tom, iu astonish merit. 'You o ve me two dollars.' m ' Fat for ?' 'Why, for my advice, to ho sure. Do you suppose I live by charging noth in?' Tom scratched bis bead for a moment in evident perplexity, tor ho had no money. At lust a bright idea scorned to strike him. 'An' has yecs any papers to shew that I owes yecs two dollars?' he asked, with a (winkle in his eye. 'Why, of course not; but what dees that signify ?' 'Thin I'll jest bo after takin' jcr own advice, an' pay neither you nor me neighbor!' saying which he left the office and its occupant to moditato on a lawyer taking his own advice and a doc tor taking bis own medicine. ??S? ? - ? mi ? - - An Invited Noso. At one of tha fashionable dcini Fruit? h reunions, not long since, a littlu sc?.ne occurred which amused tho few who witnessed it. About ten o'clook a monsieur e'iterod, very corroct in hi* ?getting up,' unexceptionable in h'a demeanor, of fine figure?altogether an accomplished gentleman, but. n gentle man gifted with a very considerable ntia.jal organ. Tho old proverb says ?A hi'gb nose never spoiled a hwUoiio Ihcc,'and the stranger justified tho pro verb. Advancing In tho mistress of tho house, he made the formal reverence which ceremony rorjuiros on a first visit then liking a more familiar tins, ho sni?l, ' It has been very happy W accept your invitation madainc; an honor of which it is quite unworthy.' Thi? was said in alow voioe, butaj distinctly articulated that it oould 1; : understood by those who stood rier.tr. The lady who, though a very distin guishod'porton, is somewhat timid, bo cau-b still yotinj, was uomcwhat e.tib.ir rassediatt'.iis adiress, and, thinking ehe hud'misunderstood him replied;' ?Excuse, mo sir: you Were saying: ?'-<r v i ?ff i'Jjs ?4*0 r. ?? -ri 'I enid; rondora, trj*t< ifc Wi? Tflty gratotul lor the invitation to yewreoi r<e.' The "Bystander*" exchanged' leeite? and-began to whisper! the lady because mure und more out countenance; 'I do nos understand-- you,' she said at length;*of what arp 'yon' speaking!' The gentleman did^nof speaks againj but pointed, in,reply, to the- prominent' feature in his face. ?What! do you you knOtt-T 't?iirtr imprudent!' exclaimed the Iidy; and blushing from her chin to her eyes, ebo cnnceuled iu her handkerchief a face hair laughing aud half embarrass ed. The explanation of this little my&io ry anon came out; The hostess had met this gentlemen the evening before at the house of hop; sister, , where lie made himself very ngroeable, as TfM his custom. On her return, recollect ing her owu soiree of the next day, she ?vrotc hastily the following conoisbnota to her sister. * ?1 have taken a liking to she big note. G ive it an invitation for me/ Her madcap relative amused herself by sending the invitation as it was and the gentleman responded to the joks ia; a manner which brought the laughter OBI his side. | A Dumb Dialogue. It wrcnch.esone badly to: step on tho wroug stair, but few can help laughing at the awkward strid he tnaket. It is equally funny to seo a _man meat the wrong ?customer,' and go to talking and' gesticulating at him as if he wcraflpjue body, else. 4?t4S he at once endeavorod to oxplaih."to < man by making signs upon his fingers that he wunted to look through the place. Tho man also made sign? which Jones could not comprehend. Then Jones n nde other and more elaborate motions which set the man at work with greater violence, and for the next ton minutes they stood in the hall gesticulating and twistiug their Gngors without either ba ing able to comprehend what the 'other went. Finally Jones became angry, and in an outburst of wrath exclaim ed; '-H?i"" 'Oh, get out, you idiot! I'm tired of bothering with you!' ? Thereupon the man said; 'That's ju.-t what I was going to say about you.' " ?Oh, you can apeak, can you ? Thau why didn't you do so, and bo- keep me st'tndiug here motioning to you? I thought you were deaf and dumb.' '?And 1 thought you were,' said the man. ??? 'I came here to inspect the asylum/ said Jones, 'aud I took you for a pa ttent.' - >;v^9,>--?j^; ?+(? 'That's what I camo hore for, and I thought you were an attendant,'-said the man. ? n ? ? Here Jones aud the man shook hands and hunted up a genuine attendant, and went away happy. After this Jones will always use his tongue, so matter where ho is ? Youth's Companion. A gentleman was walking down Con press street behind two English swells, when he overheard the following coUTdr *ation : "Airy, my boy,"' says one,"that's ?t'clnck ?" The other telt for his watch and eje claimed : -By Jove ! h'I've left h'it h'at ohic " Thou turning to a boet-blaok standing ? by, Iiq said, "my lad what's o'clock r '?What's o'oioek ?" says the Jad ; 'why you darned fool, its a thing as big as yer hod, with bands on it." Englishmoj pass on.?Kc, ( I round und lofty tumbles?Out glass li ? ' goblots. t <*.'** v'-< Tho way to make a fire real hot is to keep it thoroughly coaled. ..#a Why is a whisper forbidden in polite sooiety??Bccanse it isn't aloud. Why is your shadow like fals* frienda? Because it .follows* you paly >q sunshine.