The Greenville enterprise. (Greenville, S.C.) 1870-1873, May 25, 1870, Image 1

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* ^ . A-li' .* * * 'J * <x>6ocoowk<x>c>ck><xx>oooc JOflN a.fc EDWARD B/ ' 1 ? ' 1JM- ~iI? O. F. TOWNKSi RDITOR. J. C. BAIlsBY, ASgqjpATE 8#MonmroV t?o Dollars per unnn. A>Twmi*?n Ineerud at tha rata* of w? dollar par HMI? af twolre Mlmon lines (this Mm* tjfpa) ?f)M for tha Brat insertion, Bfty seat* sift for tha second and third Insertions, mM twMti-lva aanta for subsequent lawrtMai Yearly aoatraeta will ha mad*. AH advertisements mast hav* tha no at bar ml IliuBooi aiarkad oa Asa, or thajr will ha tn aerta! till ordasad owt, and abarfrad for. Uolaa# ordered otherwise, Advertisement* will Invariably ba " displayedJF-' / OMtaary nottoaa, and all aiattars Inert o* to ?a tha banaftt of any ana, ara regarded aa Advertisements. * _ H_ i ' l (drift*.H OhI Youth that Is eweeteet lira ohlll; Km till in death OlfeM the clear eyelids upon the tender jrra; And hueh the pleadiogane murmur answer^ nth; And villi the kinaee that wake no warm replies. : ' _T ' T V . White limbed he licth, dead youlh-eo strong en fair; And O, lor the clamber that woke to happy days 1 And O.ibe nsodollghte??>, golden dreams .a. a a X urn wtrt i And O. tba glory of Ufa's long, pleasant way. I i* ? M Fair ware tba faooa bl? eyes bare looked op OB* f - e^ i * Bat these aro haggard, and was, and rerj ad. 8wool tho loTwUagbUrs, and red tba Up* bo w?a; * * Bat hero U silence of lipe do longer glad. So, part the branches, whore light fall* long between. And plat tba graoaeo about bio feet and bead. Here hit lowed summer ahall wear her softoat green, v * A nd wind* joat raffle tho fringe* of his bed. -V v- , Hie were the rosea washed sweater in the daw, And hie rapture life knoweth not again; But on re the tempest, tba aklaa no longer Mm Hi., a A U l-s A - - - ? a?? cor icuucr ?unngm, ma MDaer, laniDg rtl?. &tartj fir tjjr lu&irs. * "1 1 i,i." = SUSIE'S AWKWARD L073P.. BY II ANN All UOFPEK. .. u I'm tired of living sncli a humdrum. monotonous life. Dear me, I'm disputed with it. It's cook and wash dishcs> sweep and dnst, right over, from one week's end to another. Sometimes I almost wish the house would get afire, so there would be some excitement. And now. to make the matter worse, mother wants me to marry Amos and go right to keeping house, as though I were not tired to death or doing house work. Well, 1 de~ cl ro, I haven't a Iricnd in the worlu that understand* me," and with these words Susie gist's face grew red as a rose, and nhally she covered it with her Lauds and bnrst out crying. . u Now Susie, 1 do think yon are very fool is ? to take on so," said ^ matter-of-fact Kate. u Just think how kind father and mother are, and what a good man Amos is, and??" t V * f " Don't, for mercy's sake, commence praising Am? s. You have enumerated hit good qualities over to me so often already that I know them all by heart. I don't think he's so much better than everybody else, and if yon do, you'd better marry him yourself. In the first place, he can't step without making a blunder, either treading on the cat, knocking a chair over, or tearing somebody's dress ail to pieces. I say there's something in appearance, and I know there are as good men as Amoa in the world I who are not greenhorns either." These two sisters, Kate and Susie, were out under the old apple tree bj the spring, when tbo above conversation took places Kate was a very commonplace looking girl, and sat on a stone near the brook, with her knitting work in her hand. Susie bad a pretty (ace and graceful form, and sat on the other side of the brook from Kate, picking a wild roee to pieeee. V Their oonversation bad been overheard, bottbey were unconscious of It at the time. A moo Knight, their eCbjett of remarks, was passing along a few feet from them, behind a clomp of bnelies, and hearing his name mentioned he stopped and listened. As the i words concerning himeelf fell from k thei red lips of the girl ho loved, I his' broad face blanched Ashen I white, and, waiting to beer no I more, he fled as if pursued, and m. never slackened bla oace until he ^ stood al the door of his own little K cottage. 44 Dear me, what ia the matter, B Ames t aa?d hie good mother, com in# to tho door in a tremor of ox " * 1 i urxiiL r-v- ; ! M j, a ,ii , .1 ia ilftJOlfb lo linos, ! <XXXXpOOC^O<XXXX>^pOPQOOQ ULEY, PRO'RS. . . _ . citeinent. 4 Don't ask tne mother,* said A- j mot, passing her and floittg into his I room. u What a fool Fhave keen," be continued, after he had closed i the door. Vl I might have known < she wouldn't like such an awkward J booby as I am. I was blinded by loee. But she shall never set eyes i on mo again, if I can help it, nntil < I can walk without stepping on i eats and tearing dresSes to pieces.* ' He went down stairs to his anx- I ioos-n?o?ber.- -i;. < u What in the world has sot you I fi\ oftfm' SA AMAA* A rt%AA ?V OV V^UVUI y AUUVO K iOlU 1 she anxiously. I u Mother, said he, not answer- I ing her question. u I'm going ! away. I ain going to accent Uncle Amos' offer to be a clerx io his 1 store." i " Why, what on airth has chatig- < ed yer mind so 6nddeutf Only i last evening je said you 6houldn*t < go for money, now here ye be all so fierce. 1 cant understand it." tk 1 know I've changed my mind i very suddenly, mother, but you see I want to go into the world. I've always staid right here, work ing on the farm, nud I want a change." 44 Wal that ain't oncoraraon strange at all, Amos, that you should want to look ronnd a bit afore ye git married, but what will Susie say 9 Maybe she won't like it Quite so well." < The young man's face colored to the roots of his hair, and he turn- < ed away to hide the painful expression that hovered about his i mouth. ~ i 441 guess she wou't object to," answered Amos, and his good mother bustled around preparing supper, asking a great many questions, and saying over and over how very lonesome 6he should be when he was gone. The next aay, dressed in his Sunday best, Amos, with a large valise in his hand, walked to the little depot, which was about two miles distant from his home, and l soon was whirling away to the city i of Boston. Ue hadn't travelled in his life, and everytbingjooked new ana strange to Imn. Uii entering the car, which was nearly full, he had unceremoniously sat in the seat with a young lauy, not notic ing the little black spaniel which lay on the seat near ner, bat the fact was soon made known to him, f.?r the dog yelped with such force that every 0110 in the car started from their scats with terror, and the young lady herself gave an of J fected scream, and called him a I country boor, and poor Ainos tried to apologize, but he only made the matter worse, and 60 he 6lunk away into a seat in the corner, and i hung down his head, inwardly i calling himself a fool, end saying he didn't wonder Susie didn't like him. lie did vcfry many strange i things when he got to the city, I such as shaking hands with the girl who caino to the door, and | calling her Cousin Mary, and stumbling over an ottoman when lie met his aunt in the parlor, and half tailing on the carpet. In fact he was so disheartened by hie awkwardness that he fairly cursed himself; but bis uncle, who had himself been a green country lad once, was very kind and considerate, and Amos was so anxious to learn that he was an apt pupil both in business and in society. It was several days before Susie List knew tbat Amos bad gone away. In spite of the strong language she had used to her sister in reference to him, she loved him, and was his promised wife. They had been engaged since early spring, and so entirely was the great warm heart of her lover her own that she did not realize bow great was the prize she bad woo. There was a great doal ot senti ment and romance in her warm girl heart, sad the natural refinement in her nature rebelled at the awkwardness and nnpolisbod manners ot her affianced unsbend. Yet in spite of this she could not help loving him, for with all his boor* ishness be possessed a fascination which to her was irresitiab'.e, and when lis asked her to marrv him he grew really eloquent in relating his love, bis hopes and tears, and in bis enthusiasm and anxioty he forgot ail, everything but the sweet girl before him. and Bnsie L.rf 1 ? - L- I ? - iibvi prvmwvu iu do ins wiie, ana for a while felt very baopy, but it was not long before she began to feel asbauied of his awkwardness, and grew tired of doing house work every day of the year, and in a fit of despondency she had uttered the words which had sent her lov* er far away from her without a parting word. * W hen the news came to her she was overwhelmed with remorse and sorrow. Then site thought he would surely write to her ; hut not days and weeks passed by, and n0 mm It. -1C1-T1.;? ?- Ml , .1?Politics, 3ftitUi0ti o<>c<>oc<>ao<>o<>co<^^ GRE Letter came, and 8osie began to grow despondent and disheartened. Blie tried to bebrave, but wben a pleasant moonlight evening came around snob a.loneliness crept over Iter that she could not avoid a hearty flow of tears. w nen me nn(umn came Amos J returned to Ids borne for a few days, but he didn't go near to Sane List's dwelling, though she watched for him every evening of bis stay, sitting in the farmhouse door, and looking anxiously dowu the lane imagining often times that Bbe saw his form approaching or heard his step, bnt it was all a delusion, which left her more sorrowful and heart weary than before. When he went away a^ain be took bis old mother with him, and then Susie gave up all hope of ever being reconciled to him. She cared no more for apple bees and quilting parties, but remained quietly at home?the very personification of patience and gentleness. Kate was married when Ohrist mu came around, and went to keeping home not tar distant, and poor Susie was left alone with her aged parents. Five years passed bv, bnt in all those weary years Susie had never seen Amos Knight, thongh she lias heard of the place he had gained, of his increasing wealth, ana at last came a rumor that he was about to marry tbe fair-haired daughter of a wealthy banker. She tried hard to forget him. to make herself believe that she did not love him, but such attempts were useless; she thought of him and loved hiin still. Within the five years the parents of Snsie found rest in the grave, and she lived alone in the farm house with Betty, the maid of all work. She made few calls, and received tew callers, and grew to love her groat black horse and her dog Rover better than anything else around her. She had grown slender and pale, and look ed not much like the rosy-cheeked, impulsive Susie of live years before. One day in early November the neighbors noticed a stir about the little cottage where Amos Knight and his mother used to live, und, by considerable watching and pry* ins, they found that Auioe and two otner young men had come out into the Qountry to hunt, and were to pnt np at thecotugo. One day, while riding through a woodland path on her black horse, Susie taw the three huntsmen, and - N/> j ivn % J I^VV^IIIOUU <LXIt.V*3 Her heart beat quick und sceuied to rite to her mouth, aud, fearing she might be seen and recognizee!, she rode rapidly homo having on ly cast a glance at the man she loved. The next Sunday she saw him enter the church and take a seat that long ago he used to occnpy. How hand-ome and manly he had grown 1 There was no awkwardness abont his form now?in every motion there was case and grace. In his eye there was that same tender and fascinating light which had Won her heart years before; but a glossy dark beard rippled away from his full and red lips, and tire soft locks of his hair waved over a brow broad and white. After the services were ch?cd, and the good people shaking hands with each other, and talking pleas antly together, Amos Knight stoptkA/1 #-#* M?lfA -II ? ' ?* * i>v? ?v gut) mem ?u n pieanani word and a friendly clasp oi the band. He came to Susie at last, who had shrunk away iu the corner, feeling as diffident and awkward as ever Atnoa bad acted iu the days gone by. He was a gentleman from the city now. llis bands, once so brown and bard, were soft and wbite; he was dressed with the most fastidious neatness, and carried an elegant gold watch in his pocket. He greeted Susie very cordially, and she stammered, nod, in step [)ing forward to greet him, actualy stepped on a lady's dress and tore it badly, while Amos smiled amusedly, and she could hardly keep the tears from springing to her eyes. Then, as if delighting in her em barnmtnent and contusion, Amos presented his two friends to her, displaying the greatest ease and composure ; and she, her face red to the roote of her hair, called one of them Amos iu her confusion, and then, attempting an apology. mitj uitiuo toe mailer won?, and finally tnrnad about and said goodday. and left them. bhe went home " eroes lota " and cried all the afternoon, and dec'ar ed alia would not go to meeting again while tbey remained, if alie never went again in tho world, and retnaiued steadily in the house, not daring to go out, through fear of I meeting one or all tlioee three j-onng men. 0 ?? ?? 3mp* lElmLEr^mCA^LW | Btit one dar, looking ont of her chamber window about sunset, saw the dreaded trid coming leisurely up the lane. In * fit of desperation she faatened the door, and determined not to see them if she could possibly avoid it. In a . few minutes fietiy came trembling up stairs. She shook and pounded on the door, bat Susie didn't sneak. Wqll now, if this don't'beat all 1" said Betty to herself. Then she shook the <*oor again, and raised her voice to such a high key that Shsie felt sure they heard her down in the parlor, which was exactly beneath them. " SusieI" she screamed, 44be ye sleep or what's the matter? Three gentlemen's in the parlor, and they've sent mo arter you; and you'd better come down right away, for they are waitin,' and I can't tend to ntn for my apple sas'll bile over, or burn, or sumthin'. I told em ye's up here, and would be down In a minit." 44 For pity sake, Betty," said Susie, unfastening the door?44 for pity sake don't make such a racket. Do vou think I'm deaf, or what!" 44 La I I tbongbt ye'd been asleep," said Betty humbly, as she went down stairs. At first Susie thought she would ciuitiiro ner areas, .and Iter liair. u But what*8 the use ?*' sho said at lust. " 1 shall act like a fool any bow, and Amos will think 1 44 fixed up " for liim, and I'll go down just as I am." So she went down trembling in every limb, inwardly calling herself a green country girl. But this meeting was not quite as unfortunate as the first had beeu, and she was partially regaining her composure when a white kitten came in, and Amos, who had risen from his seat, was standing by the window, said with a very long faco, and a twinkling in his eye: "That cat had better leave the room. I'm afraid I shall step ou it"' -' To the two young men, who did tltnr\/) t I, ia mtna o i?/vhi? tiwv iiuuviDiauik |V| iii ID w tvo a absurd speech ; but to Su6ie and Amos it bad a meaning?a mean ing that tliey only could appreciate ; and SusiVs face flushed with red, and, not knowing what else to do, she arose and put the kitten out of the room. After about an hour's 6tay the visitois departed, and Susie had another long cry. 41 lie is more than repaying me," sho said, 41 and I hope I shall never set eyes on him again." But this was a 44 whito falsehood," for sho was in love with Amos over again, and wonld have given everything she possessed for his love in rot urn. A lew evenings niter this, she saw Amos again coining up the lane; but this time he was alone, and she did Hot hesitate about changing her sober dress for a blue muslin, (blue used to bo his favorite color,) and, with blue ribbons binding her brown hair, and a cluster of hair bells at her throat, 6he met him. There was a little flush on her. checks, as she looked so much like the Susie of five years before that Amos thought it a reality ; for he did not clasp her band as he had done before, but just pnt both of his arms around her, and drew her close to him, and gave her a kiss which was the first she had received from oilier than her relatives and girl-friends since he kissed her last. Covered with confusion she tried to disengage herseif, but could not, as Amos whispered in her car; " Our engagement hasn't been broken yet, Susie, and I claim you for my betrothed, for I love you as I did five years ago; and if I'm not too awkward and green, will you promise again to be my wifef' Susie promiaid, and I shall need to say no more, for any one can guess the rest. Tub incomo of Ilenry Ward Beecher, in his early days, avoraged $150 per year, and in his literal poverty be built his own bonse, painted it at leisure hours, raised his own vegetables and tended h a pigs, while letters from home, on which the postage was eighteen to twenty lour cents, remained in the post office, weeks at a time, because he had no eighteen cents to pay tor them. Tea famous trotting mare Flora Templo, for tome time past the property of A. Welch, Esq., of Chestnut Hill, has been purchased by Daniel Mace, of New York city, for $30,000. Tbe marc ia now fourteen years old. > w ?? A no mi was recently shot-on tbe road between Mool and Chandah, India, wbo is supposed to have killed and devoured 127 human victims. 111 I 11 1 '? ! HI EFTE oufnunt of % &tt o<>c<xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx^ A, MAY 25, 1870. From tb? Bural Carolinian for May. The Texas Saddle. -3/r. Editor? Travelling a Tew days since in company with some gentlemen from yonr section of the South, our conversation ran general! j upon the subject of stock, and rearing cattle, horses, etc.? One South Carolina friend remarked he bad often wondered-why the | Texans always rode snch huge saddles, and why the Texas sad die always had a "horn" in the front or on the pommel f As this finish has a reason, I hope it may be of utility to your thonsands of readers, to know why the Texas saddles are always thus ( made. In riding over the pampas of our State, hunting wild horses or cattle, or even in looking ' through a herd of rattle for the j Eastern market, the rider invaria- j bly'carries his "lasso" (a rope abont thirty feet long, with a noose or slip knot on one cud) tied to his Baddle. One end of thia 41 lasso" is tied firmly to the horn of the saddle, and tlio lasso itself carried in the nana when about to bo used.? The purchaser of cattle for market, while riding through an immense herd of tine beeves, wishes to select one, for instance, that is rather ( wild and cannot be driven, he , charges his horse np to this beef, throws his lasso around tho horns : or neck, and immediately checks , his horse. The beef pitches off at a fearful rate, but the rider, with complete control, only allows him the length of the lasso, for as soon ] as he observes he has caught the ( beef, he turns his horse in an opposite direction, and puts off at lull speed. Tho beef of course resists with all his power, but it is tio use, for the momentum of the horse and rider soon overcomes < him, and he follows, nolens volens, < the direction of the lasso, at half 6peed. ^ I have seen the ninstang ponies so thoroughly trained to this business, that the moment the lasso was thrown, the}' would whirl and go at full speed in an opposite direction ; and us soon as the weight of the beef was felt on the rone, the pony would bend to the draught like a dray horse to his collar. Ilence the necessity of the horn and the cumbersome leverage girths always attached to the Texas saddles. PLANTER. Btlleview, Texas. A Good Wife Archbishop Seeker, in his " Wedding Ring," has the following, which is worth reading twice: "Hast thou a soft heart! it is of God's making. Hast thou ? sweet wife? she is God's making. The Hebrows have a saying, * JIo is not a man that hath not a woman.' Though man alone may be good, yet it is not good that a man should . be alone. 4 Every good gift, and every perfect gift, is from above.' A wife, though she be not a perfect gift, is a good gift, a beam darted from the sun of mer- ' cy. How lianpy are those marriages where Christ is at the wed* dingl Let none but those who ' have found favor in God's eyes find favor in yours. Husbands should epread a mantle of charity over their wives' infiirmities. Do not put out the candle because of the snuff. Husbands and wives should provoke one another to love; and they should love one another, notwithstanding provocations. The* tree ot love should grow up in the midst of the family, as the tree of life grew in the garden of Eden. Good servants are a g> eat blessing; good children a greater blessing; bnt a good wife is the geAtcst blessing ; and such a help let him seek for that lacks one; let him sigh for her that hath lost one; let him delight in her that enjoys one." What Slacked Limk Will Do. ?A thrifty farmer, who believes in " making old things last in these times," says: u There is Ann tliinn* 111 n f ?-?/?n m1 ?? amah*. 1va_<)u unv iiiui^ vii?v ncni i j ever vuuuy knows, and hardly anybody attends to?that is, to sprinkle liine on their roots once a year, either in fall or spring. If the shingles are covered ever so thick with tnoss, the lirae clears it off, leaving tbo roof clean and white,, and good for a dozen years longer. It ought to bo put on pretty thick, and a rainy day is best for the work. Strong wood ashes will answer almost as well to keep old roofs in repair* but they will not look as nice. To make shingles last three or four tiroes their usual period, they need only to be soak ed a few days in a tank half full of thick lime water, which must be stirred np well before the shingles are put in. Wnr ill roan who hat no child' ran invisible t Becante he's not a-partnt. ;rpr : i. -M, . tie iftttb Country. A Word for Girls Remember that the first princi* pie of reiorui ere in yOuF uSGuS, American girls. Remember that a chance word from your lips will have more weight with young men than all the laws that ever were enacted. Titer can stand the station-house, and the policecourt, but they can't endure your Bcorn. Did you ever reflect that when you admired young Montague's absurd mimicry ot half obsolete English fashions, you imposed on poor little Penniless the stringent necessity of straightway buying a costume as near like it as possible, even though he went with one meal a day for the next three months 9 Do you know that when you offer tho temperate Smith a glass of wine with the pretty imperative little way you sometimes nave, he feels himself as peremptorily obliged to drink it as if you held a loaded pistol t& his hcndl Are you aware that Jones affects his " fast" ways, and spends his money recklessly, just because he wants to find favor in your eyes ? It is lor yon that thousand dollar horses are driven ; diamonds sported ; parties given; and expensive excursions gotten up. You are royel sovereigns, every one of you, and your subjects are mankind I Show us the girl, however plain and unpretentious she may be, who has not at least one bearded slave who hangs on her simplest word, and believes in her as the fire-worihipper of the East believes in the ?nn 1 And we know some who number their captives by the score. {Cor. Phrenological Journal. Ex-Pssident Fillmore's Habits^ A gentleman who recently met ex-Presidei^t Fillmore at a social entertainment, on being 6trnck Willi las vigorous appearance, was told by Mr. Fillmore that he had taken but oue dose ot medicine in thirty-seven year*, and that was forced upon him unnecessarily.? 411 attribute my good health," said he, 44 to the fact of an originally strong constitution, to an educa tion on a farm, and to lifo-long habits of regularity and temperance. I never smoked or chewed tobacco. I never knew intoxica* tion. Throughout all my pnblic life, I maintained tho same regular and systematic habits of living to which I had previously been accustomed. I never allowed my usual hours for sleep to be inter rupted. The Sabbath I always kept as a day of rest. Besides being a religious duty, it was essential to health. On commencing my Presidential career, I found that tho Sabbath had frequently been employed by visitors f.?r private interviews with the President. I determined to put an end to the custom, and ordered a doorkeeper to meet all Sunday visitors with an indiscriminate refusal. While Chairman of the Committee on \ir ?~1 ?J if tvyo uiiu lunujt) isi vyi>ii??rcsH, ana during ray entire Presidential career, my labors were always onerous and often excessive, but I never suffered an lionr of sickness through them all. An Editor's Trials.?As many subscribers as an editor has, just so many tastes he has to consult.? One wants something smart and something sound. One likes anecdotes, fun and frolic, and his next-door neighbor wonders that a man of sense will nnt such stuff in his paper. Something spicy comes ont, and the editor is n blackguard ; next comes something ar gumentative, and the editor is a dull fool. And so, between thorn all, the poor fellow pets the worst of it. They never reflect that what does not please them will please the next man ; but they insist that if the paper does not suit them, it is good tor nothing, and stop taking it immediately. < Guitar.?The first thing to bo conquered in grief is the pleasure we feel in indulging it. lhere is but one pardonable sorrow?that for the departed. This pleating grief is but a variety of comfort; the signs we have are bnt a mournful mode of loving them. We shed tears when we think of their departure; and we do so, too, when we think oh reuniting with )hem, and our teara>t both timec re not very different. That which is past, however, should be sub mi Mod to with perfect submission It is as foolish to complain ol i loss we cannot remedy, as to re gret that we have not wings, 01 that wo cannot pay a visit to tin moon. Mae. Pahtingtoj has been read ing the health officers' weekly re ports, and thinks " total " must b an awful malignant diseaso, sine as many die of it as of all the roe put together. iseT ? ? ' 11 ???c T PLUME XVH--NO. 1. The promiura lazy man does all II lfl rnaHini* in f lm antnmn Kn. ??"ft ? "*v c?n?e the ?Munn turns the leaves. Meningitis prevails to an alarm ing extent in Collin and adjoining coutitioe, in Texas. Ik pocket picking, as in almost "N everything else, a man never succeeds until he gets his hand in. Why is the first chicken of a brood like a foremast ??Because it is just before ibe main hatch. W bt is the earth like a blackboard? Because the children of. men multiply upon the faco of it. The University of Naples has been closed, owing to the disorderly conduct of the Undents. Oliver Wendell Holmes says that widows who cry easv are first to uiarry- again. 'There is nothii g 'tiki wet Weather for transplanting. V- Almost any young lady has pubhe spirit enough to be willing to have her father's house used tor a court house. Am editor of a paper in Indiana wants to know if modern whisky was ever seen "comin* through tho rye ?" Wuy is a man who rune away without paring his rent like an army officer 1 Because he's a lefttenant. Why does being under a stone bridge make the moU stupid fellow a bit of a wag ??Because then ho has an arch way about him. Wnw is a drunkard's nose like a lighthouse!?When it warns others off the coast of Madeira and Holland. Six men, most of them convicted oi petty larcenies, wero ^hipped in the jail yard, at New Castle, Delaware, on the 14th. A Western editor offers a church and graveyard as a premium for the largest club of subscribers. An old lady who was asked what she thought of tire eclipse, replied: uWoll, it proved one thing ?that the papers don't always tell lies." The Postmaster General sa?6 if tlie bill abolishing the franking privileges is passed, he will bo able to reduce letter postage from three to two cents por half ounce. A loafer left his wife in a rago, telling hor that ho would never come back until he was rich enough to come in a carriage. lie returned the same evening in a wheelbarrow. 44 Speaking of shaving," said a pretty girl to an obdurate old bachelor. M I should think that a pair ot handsome eyes would be the best mirror to shave by." 44 Yes: many a poor fellow lias been shaved by them," the wretch re plied. An editor lately announced an increase in his family, and in his 4& jollification over the event, propounded the following conundrum : '* What is the di> erence between editorial and matrimonial experience) In the former, the devil cries tor 4 copy in the latter, the copy, cries like tlie devil S* Good Holes.?A good man once said : The longer I live, the importance ot adhering to the following mloa \\ Jnli t lai/1 ? M?W) ftMIVU A IWIU UV/W U uivtieii in relation to such matters, are mote manifest: 1. To hear as little as possible of what is to the prejudice of others. 2. Believe nothing ot the kind until I am absolutely forced to it. 3. Never drink in the spirit of one who circulates an ill report. 4. Always moderate as tar as I can, the unkindne6S which is expressed towards othors. 5. Always to believe that if the other side was heard, a very different account would be given. Dancing.?It is well known that the Methodist church forbids dancing, but it has been fondly hoped by the younger members ot the cunrch, that at this General Conference, that part of the church discipline would bo so altered and amended, that this delightful i amusement would be allow ed ; but ' the following, copied from the ad, dross of tho 13isho|>s, does not tend i much that way : i " Indulgence in worldly and i laanionabl? diversions ia another - great enemy of earneat piety, which . ia invading the church aud threati ening to eatrange onr children from ua. Dancing, in particular, r whatever plausible excuses may 3 be pleaded for it, ia dcatrnctive to the growth, not to say the very exiatonce of spiritual religion, in i. those wtio delight to indulge in it. i- Generally, It ia a species of * revelo ing' condemned and forbidden o by the word of God, and its tenit I denoy ia evil only.** Sun.