The Darlington flag (Lydia, SC) 1851-1852, May 14, 1851, Image 4

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% i THE m MBl’GGED HUSBAND. Hhe’f not what Fancy painted her-** I’m sadly taken in— If some one else had won her, I Should not have cared a pin; I thought that site was mild and good. As maiden ere could be; 1 wonder how she eijjpr could Have so much humbugged me They cluster round and shake my hand, Tney tell me l am bleat— My case the* do Q9t understand, I think I know Hlfc best; They call her fhhreet of the frir, They drive me mad and madder; What do they mean! I do declare 1 only wish they had lier. T is true, she has lovely locks, That on her shoulders fall— What would they say to see the box In which she keeps them all! Her taper fingers, it is true. Are difficult to match— What would they say if they but knew, How terribly they scratch 1 MISCBUAM80US. (From the State-Rights Republican) LETTEB FROM AN OID LAWYER TO A YOUNG ONE. BY «••••. My Dea* John: I have received your letter infonning me that you have passed your examination with credit, and requesting my advice as to the best course for you to pursue. I feel very much flattered by your request, and I will endeavor to answer your ques tions satisfactorily, for I must be par- cloned for my egotism in saying that few of our profession have met with greater (and I hope with more deserved) success than myself. I am well aware that there are many in the community who think me an old rogue, and some have not scrupled to call me so to my face, but they took good care not to make any specific charge upon which 1 could fasten, or I would have smote them, hipand thigh, in an action for slan der. It is (rqfp HaM old Jone (whom the devil confound) did that they actually believed it themselves! If they do not believe it, they wish it to be thought true, of course, and that will serve your purpose just as well. Never, never, never forget the soap! Another thing to be considered in the management of a jury is your deport ment If you have a jury composed of men of the straight-laced order.— I mean those who much desire to be accounted saints in the estimation of the public—look as demure as a blind jackass on a cold day—as if butter could’t be induced to melt in your mouth—lay your hand upon your heart and roll up the whites of your eyes like a duck in a snow-storm—talk low, and in your most mournful tones.— Your argument will go down like gos pel truth. But if a majority of the jury arc of fat-don’-care-cuss" class then pile on the agony ! It will make them at least think yo«\are sincere and law and evidence if both against yon will be immedictely consigned to the infernal regions. Never let the opposing coun sel out-roar you. Spit—cough—drink water—sling your arms like a maniac in a hurricane—grit your teeth—make faces—stamp-thump Hie floor—knock the table in pieces—rave-roar—scream shriek—yell! But remember to pile in the bopt-soaf !! My time and limits will not permit me to indulge my inclination to advise you father at presnt Accept my best wishes for your success and believe me. Yours truly’ dtc. OBEDIAH SKINNUM. tell me that 1 sold him in the case of that note upon which he was sued, but I had to let that pass, for he could sustain the charge ! But generally speaking I have kept pretty clear of laying myself open. I have, however, never hesitated to follow the principle upon which my eye long reat- ed in the course of my reading, and which doubtless you will recollect. Play the gkau game always when you know if to be a safe one ! There is another maxim, too, with which you muqt be familiar, and which contains the soundest advice to all who wish to rise—" Lie low and keep dark.”—[II. Swindleum 210. If you always keep these green in your memory, you cannot fail of suc cess. It is onr business to take ad vantage of the follies of others—if peo ple are fools enough, like silly fish, to measures only form part oi a allow us to got our hooks inTO iWv4. • jaws, it is our duty to hold them fast With regard to location, I should say the most ignoran^Meommunity is the best It is true, your purse will not be filled quite ns quickly, but if you diplay any sort of talent, it will be the means of creating for you a repu- iation that will be of great value should you wish to remove. You will princi pally liaye to deal with assaults and batteries, murders, petty thefts, die. d<c. The best case I ever had on the crimi nal side of the court, was that of a fel low who was charged with having stolen two dollars and a half. He was no great shakes himself, but his rela tives were wealthy, and they stood up nobly on the score of blood. I man aged to get upon the jury two chaps had been tried and acquitted of a simi lar offense. You may know it was a case with a vengeance, then. I put it to the jury all sorts of ways—asked each to place himself in a like position, aad say by his verdict how he would like to be treated as my persecuted cli cut had been. They were out on that ease a little mfR than five minutes! There is one thing, beloved brother, tliat you must never forget Write it in letters of gold upon the surface oi your mind, that it may ever be upper most, for it has gained more cases than all the law from the days of Moses down to the present—Soft-soaf the JueyH Every man that sits before you in the box—though yon may know one of them tacked your pocket nfa half dime the day before—is a gen tleman, in the most coi ' nenae of the term. He is a paragon of perfection—an epitome of aH the vir tues of the human race. To Urn is committed the life and liberty of an American citiaen—he is the very one who is te save Us country from utter rain. Let vour opponent spout all all sorts of law till he is black in the face—CivP, Common, Cannon—let him pile Pelion upon Ossa, and cram Coke, CUtty, Blaekstone, and all the Reports ii&» the juryman's ear—hot do you hoM fast to that which is good, stick *1 though you may tee something lighter little i at The London Times thus describes what is to be the result of the Union to tho South, if it goes on as it has been doing. Whether true or false we leave our readers to judge: 4 Slavery is but a question of time.— It is scarcely possible to conceive that a hundred years hence there will be one slave in the United States, not to say in the whole continent of America.— The slave owners see the ramparts ris ing, the trenches opened, the communi cations established, and the blockade closing round them, that is one day to reduce them to unconditional surren der. We doubt not for an instant that onr cUldren’s children, will see the chains drop in one hour from tlie limbs of three million slaves. The fugitive Slave bill is only a last legislative effort against that which is more powerful than legislatures—the progress of hu man affairs. Every acre added to the territory of the Union, every free child added to its population, and! every emigrant that lands on its shores, is an other weight to the scale of abolition.— Then why, except because they are demented and doomed, do the slave owners take no steps whatever to pre pare for the great day of reckoning! Why do they assume the perpetual sta bility of an institution at variance with the whole tenor and course of modern r-nsww.-j—* We do not hesitate to ad- civiI«ali3!tr M *" t ‘ s ^- : ’ vise them to set thw^ttMlWf'lim.an £ f it is harder to do so now than it was seventy years back, instead of being easier, as the great statesmen of that day hoped and expected—if time has litherto aggrevated rather than remov- ed the enormous difficulties of the ques tion, what will oe the case thirty years tence, when perhaps there mnst and will be abolition witnout either the slave or his master being prepared for the change! The choice lies between gradual and sudden abolition, and it is or the slave States themselves to choose which of those two they will have—for one they must!’ nothing but pure love exists in every heart. Heaven is « place of peace—sweet peace and uninterrupted harmony : all disturbing elements will be left behind. In the cymbolical heaven of Revela tions we read of wars but in the heaven where saints and angels dwell and wor ship, war can have no place. The at mosphere is exempt from malaria: it is parity itself all sin and iniqnuity are denied admission into that holy place, Heaven is a place of song high af fections are expressed in celestial music. O !how elevating how delightful the melodies. Heaven is unchanging or all change is advancement in knowl edge in dignity in happiness. negrTbanTing. Talking of banks, reminds me of the negro bank I once heard of in Virginia. Cato an old negro noted for his cun ning, had succeeded in making his fel low servants in the neighborhood be lieve that banking was a very profitable business. So they concluded that they would throw all their change together and start a bank, old Cato takirij^care to have himself constituted the bank to whom the sixpences of all the darkies in the neighborhood was duly paid over. And now, said Cato, whenebah nigga borrow sixpence out ob dis bank for backah, he got to come back in free weeks and pay in two sixpence, and in dis way you see^ebery sixpence bring nuddar sixpence, till after a while all dese niggars be as rich as old inassa G——y. And upon this principle the bank went into operation, old Cato always taking care that every darkey should fork over according to the bank rules. But in the course of time some of the stockholders “smelt a rat,” and called on Cato to withdraw their capi tal from the bank when the following conversation took place between Cato and Jack; Jack—Well, Cato, we wantto draw our money from the bank, and quit dis bankin business. Cato—Did you heah de news f Jack—No, what datCato? Cato—Why de bank broke last night Jack—Who care whatde bank do, I tell you I want my shah ob de money. Cato—Well, but I tell you dat de bank broke. Jack—I not talk about dat I whah de money! Cato—Why you cussed fool don’t you know dat when do bank break de mon ey all gone sartin. Jack—Well, but whah de debbil de money gone to! Cato—Dat’s more than dis niggah know. All he know bout it is dat when white folks, bank break, de money al ways lost, an niggah bank no better dan white folks' bank. Jack—Wall whenevah dis niggah gage in bankin’ agin, he hope de debbil git him fuss. Cato—Berry sorry de bank, break Jack berry sorry. Here our informant left. rrc s<J«Wm“ ’E* ~~ say TAKING THB CENSUS. A census taker going round last fall, <«top;>ed at an elegant brick dwelling house on Western Row—the exact lo cation of which is no business of ours. He was received at the door by a stiff, well-dressed elderly lady, who could l>e easily recognized as a widow of some years standing. On learning the mission of her visitor, the lady invited him to a seat in the hall. Having ar ranged himself into a working position, he inquired for the number of persons in tlie family of the lady. “ Eight, sir,” replied the lady, “in cluding myself.” “Very well—your age, madam?” “ My age, sir,” she replied, with a piercing, dignified look; “ I conceive it’s none of your business, what my age might be—you are inquisitive, sir.” “The law compels, me, madam, to take the age of every person in the ward—it is my duty to make the in quiry.” “ Well, if the law compels you to ask, I presume it will compel me to an swer. I am between thirty and forty.” “ I presume that means thirty-five ?” “ No sir, it means no such thing—I am only thirty-three years of age." “ Very well, madam,” putting down the figures, “just as you say. Now for the ages of the children, commen cing with the youngest, if you please.” “Josephine, my youngest, is ten years of age.” “ Josephine—pretty name—ten.” “ Minerva was twelve last week.” “ Minerva—captivating—twelve.” “ Cleopatra Elvira has just turned fifteen.” “ Cleopatra Elvira—charming—fif teen.” “ Angelina is eighteen, sir—just eigh teen.” “ Angelina—favorite name—eigh teen.” “ My eldest and only married daugh ter, sir, Anna Sophia, is a little over twenty-five.” “ Twenty-five did you day, madam ?” “ Yes, sir. Is there anything re markable in her being of that age.” “ Well, no, I cant say that there is— but is it not remarkable that you should be her mother trhen you vere only eight years of age ?” About that time the census taker was observed Baling out of the house, closely pursued by a broomstick. It was the last time he pressed a lady to give her eyit age. TYPGORAPHICAL ERRORS. One meets at times with tho most laughable typographical errors, which, notwithstanding die great carefulness on the part of the proof-reader, fail of being corrected. ^There is a small Bi ble, published at Concord, New Hamp shire, in which the “ sluggard” is di rected to go to his “ aunt,” a pattern of industry. We recollect to have seen some time since an error made by some careless and truthful composi tor, who by omitting the letter x, in the advertisement of some 1EAVIN. by bev de albxandeb. Heaven is reality not Been by the eyes of flesh but made know by revela tion and received by faith. Heaven is e rest from toil trouble, temptation and atn. Snob a rest is very desirable, ifit were only a sweet sleep but heaven is more It is a state of delightful activity.— Every faculty and every affection will find appropiate exercise ; and probably latent power, not here will there be a- wakened in activity—powers sailed to the new condition in which the soul ex- urseyouri you to undertake i l a case—my woriHbr i to the Ssaf, and the victory is c It is satonishing how easily R down. They *k with their slightly thrown hack, and their I yndu nnMHlMHH Heaven is full of light; all darkness and doubt are abeent Knowledge will there be dear and will posaess a trans forming efficacy still knowledge in heaven will be progressive; the plea sure will partly consist in ever learning something unknown before. Heaven is s region of perfect love; all the heart and mind and strength will be exerted in love; and If the power of loving should the progress of the im mortal soul be increased a thousand fold, aH this increased ability wiU be kept constantly in full stretch by loviinese and glory of fat object of affection Christ is the centra of attraction ia hea ven. From him radiate the rays of di vine glory, which enlighten attract and beautify aH the innumerable host ol’ worshippers. He who loves cannot be satisfied without a return at affection, more exalted and excellent the of the beloved, the sweeter 9 of k» favor. Heaven’s joy hi Laving with all the heartand loved. As heaven is s society the meaAers are happy not only in but in mutual love.— A Notion.—A Rhode Islond girl is out in the Newport Daily News, with a suggestion that a number of speci mens of American female beauty be sent to the World’s Fair. She says: “I propose that the proper authori ties issue a mandate to the effect that there be collected from each State one who is considered the fairest daughter of that State, thereby collecting a l>evy of fair dames, which will, in my opinion he the most interesting and wonderful of the American specimens, and those which will reflect most honor upon her people and institutions Farther that they be suitably equipped at the ex pense of the respective State which they represent, and be handsomely and appropriately maintained during their term of absence, by said State. That as the various crowned heads of Europe together with the President of France have chosen and engaged the most commodious and elegant establishment available for their resiliences during their stay in London, the United States shouid immediately dispatch a special Envoy, to secure the most luxurious establishment for the reception and ac commodation of these American flow ers.” What an i-dear == AWKWARD. A fellow the other eveniag of bashful tempo, ament, “ screw u bis courage to the sticking point,” as Shaks speare says, and actually dared to pop the quqption to a young lady, who in ac cordance to custom of course, immedi ately fainted. Tfrliis harry and agita tion he seized a bottle of ink mistaking it for a bottle of cologne and dashed it in her face and over her snow white dress. Of course she immediately came to” and the awkward fellow had the felicity of being kicked out of the house by her brother. “There’s many a slip tw ixR the cup and lip,” said he as he went out Can’t Shuck Corn.—At the con clusion of the last concert of Jenny Lind, in St. Louis, a w orthy farmer of Jackson county, Missouri, thus express ed himself to an acquaintance : “ Well, she’s an almighty screamer, and a darned pretty gal at that She’s the very image of Sally Jones, Parson Jones’s daughter, who is counted the best ginger in all Jackson. But Sully can beat her shucking corn, I warrant you. Did you ever see Sally shuck!” “ No, I never did.” “ Well, vou orter Estray.—Came into our enclosure, somebody’s small child, nil stuck up with molasses candy. The owner is requested to prove property, pay charges and take it away.—Mihraukie Sentinel. An Irishman who had just arrived from the Emerald Isle, hearing a gun at the close of day asked what the noise meant Being told it was tlie ‘ sun-down gun,’ he exclaimed: 4 Does the sun make such a divil of a noise going down in this counthry ?’ A lady was asked the other day to join a Division of the Daughters of Temperance. She replied that it was unnecessary, as she intended to join one of the Sons soon. Theodore Parker compares some men who grow suddenly rich to cab bages growing in violet bed ; they smother the violets, but are, after all nothing but cabbage heads. A Considerate Husband.—We once heard of a man who was reduced to such extreme poverty, that in a fit of desperation, he advertised in some Lon don paper that he would hang himself on a certain day, at some well known place, for the benefit of bis wife and children Admittance, one shilling. Let the young man remember there is nothing derogatory in any employ ment that ministers to the well-being of the race. It is the spirit that is carried into an employment that elevates or de grades it. A lawyer not over young and hand some, in questioning a young lady in court, complimemted her personal beau- in i Mu, tv. “Were I not under oath to tell quack medicile, made it read Unis: "lo b^tT^lruthTThe -rtpiied, “L loving their King hot Thera will no envy nor jealousy nor apathy every soul will be tranauamt to every other, and all will rat that Hit him Again.—Mr. Morse M. C. from Louisiana, thinks newspapers have deterioated for the last ten years and if ligh postage will stop their circulation t wiU be better for the public. Mr. M. ives away down on the Bayon Teche, where the newspapers are printed on the skins of dead alligators, where whiskey s two cents a quart the gospel don’t shine but once in seven years and where man that can read or write is sent to Congress to the Legislature or to the Penitentiary. We do not doubt that he fully represents his constiuents. 03r To see half a dozen uncles two or three brothers and a maiden aunt of seventy—holding a consultation to de vise ways and means to prevent young girl marrying the young man she loves is just about as ridiculous as to see an intoxicated man attempting to shoulder his own shadow. Never be influenced by exlBmal ap pearance* in forming your jadgement of a person’s wealth; for many a noble spirit is covered by the habthaents of poverty while art unfrequantly a showy exterior conceal* % villain. de efficacious it must be applied inter nally and eternally” An English pa per says that a Russian General was found dead with a long word sticking in his mouth. In the description of a battle-field between the Poles and Rus sians, the same paper states “ that the conflict was dreadful and repulsed with great laughter. A gentleman is said to have been 44 accused of having eaten a stage driver for demanding more than his fare.” And again, at a certain cel ebration, “none of the poultry were eatable except the owls.” If the fol lowing circumstance be true, which is gravely described in a Western paper, navigation upon the waters must he far more dangerous than we have imagin ed: 44 A rat (raft) descending the river came in contact with a steamboat, and so serious was the injury to the boat, that great exertions were necessary to save it” We are not at all surprised, nor disposed to be querulous, when we meet with occasional blunders of this sort; our wonder is that they are not of far greater frequency. It is owing only to the proof reader, so essentia] a lersonage in a printing establishment, whose labors, however, are so little ap preciated, because so little known.— Literary American. S. D. HALLFOED, GENERAL AGENT, CAMDEN, W C. March 19 3 tf NEW IMPORTATIONS. THE attention of Planters and Country Merchants, is particulaljy requested to the arrangements nowvmade at BAN CROFTS Silk House, 953 and 955, King street. Charleston, 8. C., for insuring a re gular and constant supply of ah the varie ties of the drees season, both from the English and French markets, and which joined to a determination to submit every thing at the very lowest possible prices, will offer greater inducements to pur chasers than this market has before affor ded. Particular attention has been paid to our Stock of Domestic and Heavy Goods for servants wear. Hosiery of every size and variety—we confidentlv invite the attention of our friends, and the S ublic generally to an hwjWflen, being etermined to offer the greatest novelties, and the largest variety at the lowest pri ces; our stock consists in part of Rich Cliene Silks, Striped, Figured and Plaindo., Plain and Figured Black Silks, French and English Lawns and Cambrics, Plain and Figured Colored and White Organdies, Bareges, Silk Tissues, French Embroideries, like* Collars, Muslin and Cambric Edgeings and Inscrt- ings. English Tweeds, Summer Cassimeres&c., Irish Linen—pure flax—an article we confidently recommend. Birds Eye and Towelling Diapers. fi-4,7-4,8-4,9-4, and 10-4 Tabling Damask, IjongCioths from 6-1-4 to 25 cts. pr. yard, Bluevemins—Blue Stripes, Chambrays Striped and Plain, Osnaburgs—Bro. Homespuns and Sheet ings of Southern manufacture, which, as we are agents of several Factories, we are enabled to offer by the bale or yards, at Factory prices—a full assortment of Glo ves, Hosiery, Haberdashers die., die. W. G. BANCROFT, Importer Wholesale and Retail 253 and 256 King st, Charleston, 8. C. March 5 1 3m would return the compliment” A letter closed with the white of an egg cannot be opened by the steam of lioiling water like a common wafer, as the heat only adds to its firmness. We hate some persons because we do not know them—and we will not know them because we hate them.— Those friendships that secured to such aversions are usually firm, for those qualities must be sterling that could not only gain our hearts, but conquer our | prejudices. Dobbs says that to start the milk business requires less capital than most >eople imagine. He was in it for a rear, he says, and all the money he spent was laid out iu the purchase of a larrcl of chalk and a new pump han- dle ^ ^ AH full inside! quired a looker in at the door of a London omnibus. Can’t say for the rest,” responded Charles Lamb from one of the seats! but that last pcice of oyster pie did the business for me. Fare Retnced o) 80 Dollar* FROM CHARLESTON TO NEW YORK! The great Mail route from Charleston S. C. LEAVING the wharf at the foot of Lau rens street, daily at 3 P. M. after the ar rival of the Southern Cars, via WIL MINGTON and WEIJX)N, N. C., PE TERSBURG. RICHMOND, to WASH INGTON, BALTIMORE, PHILADEL PHIA, and NEW-YORK. The public is respectilully informed that the steamers of this line, from Char eston to Wilmington, are in first rate con dition, and are navigated by well known and experienced commanders, and the Railroads are in fina ordec, thereby secur ing both safety and despateht A THROUGH TIGJgET having alrea dy been in operation wfllbe continued on and afier the first of October 1849, as a permanent arrangement from Charleston to New-York. Passengers availing them selves thereof, will have the option to continue without delay through the route or otherwise, to stop at any of the inter mediate points, renewing their seats on the line to suit their cQnvtq^ice. By this route travellers ms^ieaelfWew-York on the third day during”huisineas hours, ge will be ticketed on board the mer to Wejdon, as likewise on the change of care, at the intermediate points ock Through Ticket* can alone be bad from E. WINSLOW, Agent of thelMkdngton and RaleiK Railroad Company; at the office of the Company, foot of laurerfB street, to whom please apply. For other information inquire of L. C. DUNCAN. At the American Hotel March 5 1 * tf “ Mr. Snow, 1 want to ask you one question.” 44 Propel it, den.” 44 Why am a grog shop like a coun terfeit dollar l” 44 Well, Ginger, I gibs dat right up.” “Doe* you gib it up, Mr. Siiowt Kase you can’t pass it I” 44 Yah, yah, nigger! you talk so much ’bout your counterfeit dollars, just sue ceed to deform me why a counterfeit dollar am like an apple pie V’ Oh! drops de subject and doesn’t know nothin’ ’bout it.” 44 Kasa H isn’t current” “Oh, de Lord, what a nigger? Why am yer bead like a bag of counterfeit dollars?” , 44 Go way from me—why am It?” “ Kase dere’s no sense (cents) in it” “ Well, you always was de braekest aigger I nebber seed—you always will hae de last word” A aon of Erin while hunting for rabbits came across a jackass in the woods and shot him. ‘By my sowl and St Patrick he exclaimed 4 T’ve kiR the father of all the rabbit*!” X western editor speaking of a co- tempotary’s attack upon him says:— “It reminds us of n little boy w'c once saw squirting dirty water from a mud hole at the sun. A mong the articles announced for sale in one of the week’s auctions we garceive an article entitled a Mahogony child's chair. The father of this won derful infaat must have been of the Wood family. Baltimore Piano Factory. PATENT Elastic Touch—J. J. Wise & Brother, Manufacturers of Grand, Bou doir and Square Pianos, would respect fully invite the attention of Lady Pianists, who would abridge the toil of practice, to a simple neat, and convenient method of adjusting the same instrument to any shade of touch the Pianist may require. PrtHspectn* or THE DARLINGTON FLAG. PUBLISHED AT DARLINGTON C. II., S. C. The Daelihgtok Flag will be published at Darlington Court House, by JOHN F. DzIORME. Tlie Editorial department will be con ducted by James H. Norwood. Tlie ne cessity of such an enterprise has long been spoken of by the citizens of Darling ton Distirct, but no one hitherto has taken any step for the advancement of an object so desirable. While the surrounding Dis tricts, with a laudable zeal for the diffusion of knowledge and general intelligence, have established their own newspapers, Darlington with resources inferior to none, has been content to be tributary to them in this respect. We propose to under take the work, and would earnestly solicit in aid of this enterprise, not only the good wishes but the exertions of those citizens who admit the importance of haying a weekly paper established in the District. The Flag is intended to be a consistent and independent journal, devoted as tar as practicable to the interests of Agriculture, Commerce, Science, Literature and reli gion. In politics, it is unnecessary to say, that our paper will be devoted to the advo cacy of tno rights of the South, and any thing having a tendency to advance her interest, or defend her honor, w ill receive our prompt attention. In short we will endeavor to make the Flag, such s paper as the wants of the people cf the District call for, and would also solicit the favor and patronage of our friends in tlie surround ing Districts. Terms, &c.—The Flag will be sent to subscribers at $8,00 a year payable in ad vance, or 9,50 at the expiration of six months. JAMES II. NORWOOD, Editor. JOHN F. DzLORME, Publishes. Bounty Land. THE subscriber will attend to forward- 9 { to the proper Dejiartineiit the claims _ __ persons, entitled to land under the late the qualities of the insrument, it is vere | Act of Congress, granting Bounty £and plain it should bo according to the skill and power of the operator. The com mon piano bo it delicate or indelicate, soft or hard touch, the same is not a like suita- bfe to tho grave moments of the feeble pupil and the rapid prestos of the finish ed artist. Call and sc* the improvement. March 5 5 3m to certain officeraand soldiers, who havo been engaged in the military service of the United States; all persons who served hi the wsr of I8!9, or in any of the India* ware since 1790. are entitled to Bounty l<nnd. J. 11. NORWOOD. March 5 i tf