The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, September 08, 1905, Image 3

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; ^|i? _ Brew i 1 Mill ! SttEis'SL. B> CEO" A Company ( 1 = "1 wish 1 knew vhoiLiT i bad to abide by the New York or the Montana standard of extravagance," Brew tcr said to himself. "I wonder if be ever sees the New York papers." Late each night the iaat of the grand old Brewster family went to his IknIroom, where, ufter dismissing his man, he settled down at his desk, with a pencil and a pad of pni>er. Lighting the caudles, which were more easily managed, he fouud, thnu lamps and __ much more costly, he thoughtfully and religiously circulated Ills expenses for the day. Nopper Harrison and Klon Gardner luul the receipts for all moneys spent, and Joe Bragdon was keeping an official rei>ortf but the "chief," as they called him, could not go to sleep until be was satisfied in bis own mind that lie was keeping up the average. For the first two weeks It bad been easy?In fact, be seemed to have quite n comfortable lead In the race, lie had spent almost $100,000 In the fortnight, but be realized that the greater part of It had gone Into the yearly and not the dally expense account. lie kept a "profit and loss" entry In bis little private ledger, but It was not like any other account of the kind In the world. What tie ordinary merchant would have char^-d to "loss" he Jotted down on the "profit" side, and he was continually looking for oppor- i tunltles to swell the total, llawles, who had been his grand^ father's butler since the day after he lauded In New York, came over to the vf- grunusoit-s establishment, greatly to the wroth and confusion of the latter'* A tint Eninieline. The chef cume from Earls, ami his untue wan I?etult. Ellis, the footman, also found a much better berth with Monty than he hall had In the house ou the avenue. Aunt Euntncllnc never forgave her nephew for these base and disturbing acts of treachery, as she called them. One of Monty's most extraordinary financial feats grew out of the purchase of a ?14.000 automobile. lie blandly admitted to Nopjter Harrison and the two secretaries that he intended to use It to practice with only, and that as soon as he learned how to run an "auto" as It should be ruu he expected to buy a good, sensible, durable mstchlne for ?7,000. Ills staff odlcers frequently put their heads together to tleviao wiy? menus of curbing Monty's reckless extravagance. They were worried. "lie's like a sailor In port," protested Harrison. "Money is no object if he wants a thing, and?hang It?ho seems to Want everything he sees." "It won't last long." Gardner said reassuringly. "Like his unmesuko, Monte-t'liristo, the world Is his Just now, nud he wants to enjoy It." "lie wants to get rid of it, It seems to me." Whenever they reproached Brewster about the matter he disarmed them by saying: "Now that I've got money I mean to give my friends a good time. Just what you'd do if you were in my nlace. What's moncv for. nnrwnv?" "But tills $3,000 a plate dinner"? j 'Tin fining to give a dozen of them, < nnd even then I can't pay my Just i debts. For years I'vo been entertained 1 at people's houses aud have boon \ taken cruising 011 their yachts. They have always been bully to me, and j Ay what have I over done for them? Noth- j ^ leg. Now that I ran afford it, I am going to return some of these favors ] nnd squaro myself. Doesn't It sound reasonable?" , And so preparations for Monty's dlu- | ner went on. In addition to what he , called his "efficient corps of gentle- ( manly aids" he had secured the services of Mr*. Dan DeMllle as "social mentor nud utility chaperon." Mrs. DeMllle tvus known in the papers as the leader of the fast young married sct.^ She was one of the cleverest and"best looking young women In town, nnd her husband was one of those who (\Jd not have to be "lnTlted too." Mr. DcMtlie lived at the club and vlsltod his home. Borne one said that he was so slow nnd his wife sd fast that when she invited him to dinner he was usually two or three days late. Altogether Mrs. DeMllle was a decided acquisition to Brewster's campaign committee. It required just her touch to moke his parties fun lustead of \ funny. It was on Oct. 18 that the dinner was .given. With the skill of n general Mrs. Dan had sealed the guests In such a wny that from the l>cglnnlng things went off with zest. Colonel Drew took in Mrs. Valentine, nnd his content was assurea. Air. inn music nna me beautiful Miss Valentine were side by side, and no one could say he looked unhappy. Mr. Cromwell went In with Mm. Snvnge, and the name delicate tact?In some cases It was almost Indelicate?was displayed in tho disposition of other guests. Somehow they had come with the expectation of being bored. Curiosity prompted them to aecept, but it did not prevent the subsequent Inevitable lassl^ tude. Socially Monty Brewster had yet ) to make himself folt. He and his dinners were something to talk about, but they were accepted hesltotlngly, haltingly. People wondered how he bad secured the co-oporntlon of Mrs. Dan, but then Mrs. Dan always did go in for a new toy. To her was inevitably attributed whatever success the dinner | 1 * ster's ions 1 :GE BARR MTUTCHEON RICHARD GRfAVES) * aenieved, ana it wat. v.r, amaii measure. Yet there was nothing startling about the affair. Monty hail decided to begin conservatively. lie did the conventional thing, but he did it well. lie added a touch or two of luxury, the faintest aroma of splendor. Pcttingill had designed the curiously wayward table, with Its comfortable atmosphere of companionship, and arranged Its decoration of great lavender orchids and lacy butterfly festoons of white ones touched with yellow. He had wanted to use dahlias in their many rich shades, from pale yellow to ornnge una (loop rou, but Monty held out for orchids. It was the artist, too, who had found In :i rare and happy moment the massive gold candelabra? ancient things of a more luxurious nge-and their opalescent shades. Against his advice the service, too, was of gold?"rank vulgarity." he called it, with Its rich menuingless ornainenfatlon. But here Monty was obdurate. He insisted that ho liked the color and that porcelain had no character. Mrs. 1 Dan only prevented a quarrel by suggesting that several courses should be served upon Sevres. Pettlnglll's scheme for lighting the room was particularly happy. For the bene tit of his wnlls and the four lovely Mouets which Monty had purchased at his Instigation he had designed a celling screen of heavy rich glass In | tones of white that grew Into yellow and dull green. It served to conceal , the lights In the daytime, and at night | the glare of electricity was Immensely | softened and made harmonious by passing through It. It gave a note of quiet to the picture which caused HVOI1 tflOftP mpn 1111*1 xrnmnn who Ka-1 1 been here and there and aeon many things, to draw In their breath sharply. Altogether the effect manifestly made tm Impression. Such an environment had Its Influence upon the company. It went far toward making the dinner n success. From far In the distance came the lofteued strains of Hungarian music, ?nd never had the little band played he "Valse Atuoureuse" and the "Valse Bleue" with the spirit it put into them hat night. Yet the soft clamor in the lining room insistently ignored the 'motion of the music. Monty, bored is he was between the two most iniHi dimly what invisible part it played ^ n making things go. He had a vagrant j 'ancy that without it there would have j )oen no test for talk, no noisy corapetl- { Ion to overcome, no hurdles to leap. g Ys it was, the talk certainly went well, iml Mrs. Dan inspected the result of J jer work from time to time with smll- ( ng satisfaction. From across the ta- { jle she heard Colonel Drew's voice: 'Brewster evidently objects to a long ilege. He is planning to carry us by \ssault." Mrs. Dan turned to Subway Smith, svho was at her right?the latest adlltlon to her menagerie. "What is this friend of yours?" she naked. "I Have never seen such complex simplicity. This new plaything has no real charm for him. lie Is breaking It to 9nd out what It Is mado of, and something will happen when he discovers the sawdust." 'Oh, don't worry about him," said Bubway easily. "Monty's at least a good sportsman. He won't complain, whatever happens, ne'll accept the reckoning and pay the piper." It was only toward the end of the evening that Monty found his reward in a moment with Barbara Drew. He stood before her, squaring his shoulders belligerently to keep away Intruders, and she smiled up at him In that bewildering fashion of hers. But It was only for an Instant, and then caroo a terrifying din from the dining room, followed by the clamor of crashing glass. The guests tried for a moment to be courteously oblivious, but the noise was so startling that such politeness became farcical. The host, with a little laugh, went down the hall. It was the beautiful screen near the celling that had fallen. A thousand pieces of shattered glass covered the place. The table was a sickening heap of crushed orchids and sputtering candles. Frightened servants rushed Into the room from one side just as Brewster entered from the other. Stupefaction baited them. After the first pulseless moment of horror exclamations of dismay went up on all sides. For Monty Brewster the first sensa?r>a a hr A rlifl. 11UU VI ft WV n MW ftV??VTT ? bollcal sens# of joy. "Thank the Lord!" he said softly In the hnsh. The look of surprise lie encountered In the faces of his guests brought him up ^ith a Jerk. "That It didn't happen while we were dining," he added, with serene thankfulness. And bis nonchalance scored for him In the Idle game be was playing. CHAPTER VII. MR. BREWSTER'S butler was surprised and annoyed. For the first time in bis official ' career he bad unbent so far as to manifest a personal Interest In the welfare of his master. He was on the verge of assuming a responsibility which ma)cea any servant intolerable. But after bis Interview he resolved that be would never again overatep his position. He made sure that it should be thejast QjTeuse. The da; I v ? r-T =H?*S5H55I following mo (tumor itawies appeared liefore young Mr. Brewster and Indicated 1>y his maunor that the call waa an Important one. Brewster was seated at his writing table, deep In thought. The exclamation that followed Bowies' cougli of announcement was so sharp niul so unmistakably fierce thot all other evidence paled Into insignificance. The butler's interruption enme at a moment when Monty's mental arithmetic was pulling Itself out of a very had rut, no^L the cough drove It back into chaos. "What is It?" he demanded Irritably. Rnwlos had upset his calculations to the extent of seven or eight hundred dollars. "I came to report linn hunfortunnte condition linmotig the servants, sir," snld Itawles, stiffening as his responsibility became more and more weighty. Ho h:ul relaxed temporarily upon entering the room. "What's the trouble?" "The trouble's hended, sir." "Then why bother nie about It?" "I thought It would l>e well for you to know. sir. The servants was going to ask for 'igher wlges today, sir." "You sny they were going to ask? Aren't they?" And Monty's eyes lighted up at the thought of new possibilities. "I convinced them, sir, as how they were getting good pay ns It Is, sir. and that tlicy ought to be sntlsfled. They'd j l>e a long time finding a better place and as good wigos. They 'aven't been with you n week, and here tlioy are striking for more pay. Really, air, these American servants"? I "Rnwles, that'll do!" exploded Mou- ' ty. The hiitler's ehln went up. and Ills cheeks grew redder than ever. "I beg pardon, sir," he gasped. with < a respectful but Injured air. 1 "Rnwles, you will kindly not Inter- 1 fere In such matters again. It Is not < only the privilege lint the duty of every < American to strike for higher pay < whenever he feels like It, and I want 1 It distinctly understood that I ana i heartily In favor of their attitude. You < will kindly go hack and tell them that ' after a reasonable length of service i their wigos?I mean wages?shall be a Increased. And don't meddle again. Itnwles." 1 Date that afternoon Brewster drop- * [>ed in at Mrs. DeMllle's to talk over 1 alans for the next dinner. He realized < that in no other way could he squan- * ier his money with a better chance of c retting its worth than by throwing ' ilmself boldly Into society. It went ?asily, and there could be only one as- * ?et arising from It In the end?his own * (euse of disgust. I "So glad to see you, Monty," greet- 1' Hi Mrs. Dan glowingly, coming in with I; i rush. "Come upstairs and I'll give 5 ron some tea and a cigarette. I'm not k it home to anybody." ? "That's very good of you, Mrs. Dan," c said he as they mounted the stairs, r 'I don't know what I'd do without tl iWYty'Wte wa*1' ; "You'd be richer, at any rate,", turn- t ug to smile upon him from the upper andlng. "I was In tears half the ^ lignr, Aionty, over tnnt glass screen, ? ihe said after finding a comfortablo ! >laoe among the cushions of a divan. J" Brewster dropped Into a roomy, Inzy dinir in front of her as he responded rnrelessly: n "It amounted to nothing. Of course u t was very annoying that it should v a - I I? Tlte. butler's chin went up. hnpiwii while the guests were still there." Then he n<l<led gravely: "In strict confidence, I had planned to have It fall Just as we were pushing back our chairs, hut the confounded thing disappointed me. That's the trouble with these automatic climaxes?they usually hang lire. It was to have been a sort of fall of Babylon effect, you know." "SpleudUl! But, like Babylon, It fell nt the wrong time." For a lively quarter of an hour they discussed people about town, liberally ' annrovlnsr the slandered and denounc Ing the slanderers. A still busier quarter of an hour ensued when together they made up the list of dinner guests. He moved a little writing table up to the divan, and she looked on eagerly while he wrote down the names she suggested after many puekerlngs of her fair, aristocratic brow, and then drew lines through them when she changed her mind. Mrs. Dan DeMllls handled her people without gloves In making up Monty's lists. The dinners were not hers, and she could afford to do as she pleased with his. He was broad and tall and she was not slow to see that be was Indifferent. He did not care who the guests were or how they came; he merely wished to make sure of their presence. Ills only blunder was the rather diffident recommendation that Barbara Drew be asked again. If he observed that Mrs. Dan's hend sank a little closer to the payer, he attached nq. Importance to t tb* nfovement. He coukl not see mat her eyes grew narrow, and he paid no attention to the little catch in her breath. "Wouldn't that be a little-Just a little pronouueed?" she asked, lightly enough. "You mean?that people might talk?" "She might feel conspicuously present." "Do you think so? We are auoli good friends, you know." "Of course if you'd like to have her," slowly and doubtfully, "why, put her name down. Hut you evidently haven't seen that." Mrs. Dan pointed to a copy of the Trumpet which lay on the table. When he had handed her the paper she said, "The Censor Is growing facetious at your expeuse." "I am getting 011 In society with a vengeance If that ass starts In to write about me. I.lsten to this"?she bad pointed out to him the obnoxious paragraph: "'If Brewster drew a diamond flush do you supi>ose he'd catch the queen? And If he caught lier how long do you think she'd remain Drew? Or If sho Drew Brewster would she 1h? willing to learn such a game as Monte?'" The next morning a writer who signed himself The Censor got a thrashing, and one Montgomery Brewster li.id 1.l? 41 * ' ii.?> uin nil mi- in uie pnpers, Hiirromidtvl by fulsome words of praise. CHAPTER VIII. ONE morning not long after the incidents Just related Brewster lay In bed staring at the celling, deep In thought. There was a worried pucker on his forehead, half hidden by the rumpled lair, ana his eyes were wide and sleepess. He had dined nt the Drews' the ironing Iwfore and had had an awakening. As he thought of the matter he eottld recall no special occurrence that 10 could really use as evidence. Cololel and Mrs. Drew had been as kind as ever, and Barbara could not have been nore charming. But something had gone wrong, and he had endured a watched evening. "That little English Johnnie was to dame," he argued. "Of course Barbara ind a right to put any one she liked lext to her, but wlij' she should have hosen that silly ass Is more than I mow. By Jove! If I had been on the ?ther aide I'll warrant his grace would lave been lost In the dust." His brain was whirling, and for the iisi time ne wus oegmnmg to reel tne inpleassnt pangs of jealousy. The hiko of Beauchnmp he especially dlsIked, although the poor man had liardy spoken during the dinner. But lonty could not be reconciled. lie ;new, of course, that Barbara bad sultirs by the dozen, but It had never ocurred to him that they were even selotisly considered. Notwithstanding he fttct that his encounter with The lralifp notice, she torfiuve "uon <wiyhing -after a moment's consideration, 'lie first few wrenches of resentment rere overbalanced by her American ppreclatlon of chivalry, however Inplred. The Censor had gone for ears unpunished, his coarse wit beig aimed at every one who bad come ato social prominence. 80 pungent nd vindictive was his pen that other iien feared him, and there were many rho lived In glass houses in terror of fusillade. Brewster's prompt and utliclent action had cheeked the perilclous attacks, and he became a hero mong men and women. After that I ?wao nA nolnf f/i Tlio Pnn. iiftiil nine n nil uu JIUIIIL IV ine v-enor's pen. Monty's first qualms of ippreheusion wore swept away when ,'olouel Drew lilmself hailed him the nornlng after the encounter and In 10 unmeasured terms congratulated ilm upon his achievement, assuring ilm that Rarbara and Mrs. Drew apiroved, although they might lecture ilm as a matter of form. Rut on this morning as he lay in his >ed Monty was thinking deeply and >alnfully. Ho was confronted by a nost embarrassing condition, and he vas discussing it soberly with hlmlelf. "I've never told her," he said to llmself, "but if she doesn't know my 'eellng she Is not as clever as I think, besides, I haven't time to make love to ler now. If it were any other girl I mppose I'd have to, but Babs?why, ihe must understand. And yet?hang hat duke!" In order to woo her properly he sronld be compelled to neglect financial duties that needed every partielo >f brain energy at his command. lie found himself opposed at the outset by ? startling embarrassment, made ablolutely clear by the computations of the night before. The last four days >f'indifference to finance on one side ind pomperlng the heart on the other had proved very costly. To use his )wn expression, ho had been "set trnok" almost $8,000. An average like that would 1>e ruinous. "Why, think of It," he continued. "For each day sacrificed to Barbara [ must deduct something like $2,500. A long campaign would put me Irretrievably In the hole; I'd get so far l>chind that a holocaust couldn't put me even. She can't expect that of me, yet girls are such Idiots about devotion, and of course she doesn't know what a heavy task I am facing. And there aro the others?what will they do while [ am out of the running? I cannot go to her and say: 'Please, may I have a venr's vacation? I'll come back next September.' On the other hand, 1 ihall surely neglect my business if ihe exj?ects me to compete. What pleasure shall I get out of the seven millions If I lose her? I can't afford to take chances. That duke won't have seven millions next Bepteml?er, It's true, but he'll have a prodigious argument against mo al>out the 21st or 22d." Then a brilliant thought occurred to him which caused him to ring for a messenger tn>y with such a show of Impatience that Itawles stood aghast. The telegram which Monty wrote was as follows i Bwearengen Jones. Motto. Mont.: Mar I marry nnd t t: i a'i pro. Tty over to provided she w 1'. h.i t i?7 MONTQOM f K V 1IH . .V8TER. "Why Isn't that reason i >le?" lie asked himself after the hoy hail gone. "Making i>roi>erty over to one's wife Is neither a loan n ?; is it charity. Old Jones might call It needle*# extravagance, since he's a haeheldf, hut It's generally done because it's good business." Monty was hopeful. Following his habit in trouble, he sought Margaret Gray, to whom he could nlwnys appeal for advice and consolation. She was to come to his next dinner party, and it was easy to lead up to the subject In hand by mentioning the other guesta. "And ltarbara Drew," he concluded after naming all the others. They were alone in the library, and she was drinking in the details of the dinner as he related them. "Wasn't she at your first dinner?" she asked quickly. lie successfully affected mild embarrassment. A "She must l?o very nttrnctlvc." There was no venom in Peggy's heart. "She is attractive. In fact, she's one of the hest, Peggy," lie said, paving the way. "It's too had she seems to care for that little duke." "lie's a bounder," he argued. "Well, don't take It to heart. You don't have to marry him." And Peggy laughed. "Hut I do take it to heart, Peggy," said Monty seriously. "I'm pretty hard hit, and I want your help. A sister's advice is always the hest in a matter of this sort." She looked into his eyes dully for an instant, not realizing the full Importance of his confession. "You, Monty?" she said incredulously. "I've got it had, Peggy," he replied, staring hard at the floor. She could not understand the cold gray tone that suddenly enveloped the room. The strange sense of loneliness that eamo over lior was Inexplicable. The Ilttlo something that rose In her throat wouhl not be dislodged, nor could she throw off the weight that seemed pressing down upon her. lie saw the odd look in her eyes and the drawn, uncertain smile on her lips, but he attributed them to wonder aiul Incredulity. Somehow after nil these years he was transformed before her very eyes. She was looking upon a new personality, lie was no longer Montgomery the brother, but she could not explain how and when the change crept over her. What did It all menu? "I am very glad if it will mnkc you happy, Monty," she said Rlowly, the gray In her lips giving way to red once more. "Does she know?" "I haven't told her in so many words, 1'eggy. but?but I'm going to this evening," he nuuouucod lamely. l D dit, "WVMV,, - to go. "I'm gkid you're pleased, Peggy. I need your good wishes. And, Peggy," he continued, with a touch of boyish wlstfulness, "do you think there's a chance for a fellow? I've had the very deuce of a thne over that Englishman." It was not quite easy for her to say: I "Monty, you are the best in the world. Go in and win." From the window she watched him swing off down the street, wondering If he would turn to wave his hand to her, his custom for years. But the broad back was straight and uncompromising. Ills long strides carried him swiftly out of sight, but it was many minutes before she turned her eyes, which were smarting, a little from the nolnt where he was lost In the crowd. The room looked ashen to her 09 she brought her mind bock to It, and somehow things hod grown different. When Montgomery reached home he found this telegram from Mr. Jones: MontKomery Brewster, New York City: Stick to your knitting, you fool. S. JONES. CHAPTER IX. IT Is beat not to repeat the expressions Brewster used regarding one S. Jones after reading this telegram. But he felt considerably relieved after he had uttered them. He fell to reading accounts of the big prize fight which was to take place In San Francisco that evening. He reveled In the descriptions of "upper cuts" and "left hooks" and learned Incidentally that the affair was to be quite one sided. A local amnteur was to box a champion. Quick to see an opportunity and cajoling himself Into the belief that Rwearengen Jones could not object to such a display of sportsmanship, Brewster made Harrison book several good wagers on theresujt. He intimated that ho had reason to believe that the favorite would lose. Harrison soon placed $3,000 on his man. The young financier felt so sure of the result that he entered the bets on the profit side of his ledger the moment he received Harrison's report. This done, he telephoned to Miss ci.? M/v^ u./.nNiku 4/, H.A i/iru. our nnn uui iiiBviiBiuir m lur significance of his Inquiry If she would bo In that afternoon. She had observed in him of late n condition of uneasiness, supplemented by inoroseness and occasional periods of irascibility. Every girl whose occupation in life Is the study of men recogni7.es these symptoms and knows how to treat them. Barbara hnd dealt with many men alllicted in this manner, and the flutter of nnticlpntlon that came with his urgent plon to see licr was tempered by experience. It had something of Joy In it, for she cared enough for Montgomery Brewster to have made her mixiously uncertain of his state of mind. She cared, indeed, much more than she Intended to confess at the outset. It was nearly half past 5 when he came, and for once the philosophical Miss Drew felt a little. Irritation. So certain was she of his object In comIng that bis tardiness whs a trifle ruffling. lie apologized for being late and succeeded In banishing the pique that possessed her. It was naturally Impossible for him to share all tola secrets with her, and that Is why he did not tell her that tlrant A- Ripley had called him up to report the receipt of a telegram from Swearengen Jones. In which the gcntlcmun laconically said he could feed the whole state ot I - ( "I love l/ou, Dabthe cried. Montana for leas than $0,000. Beyond that there was no comment. Brewster in dire trepidation hastened to the office of his attorneys. They smiled when he burst In upon them. "(*ood heavens!" he exclaimed. "I>oe? the miserly old linyseed expect me to spend a million for newspapers, cigarettes and Boston terriers? I thought he would be reasonable!" "He evidently has seen the newspaper accounts of your dinner, and this Is merely his comment," said Mr. ItlpI lev. "It's cither a warning or else he's ambiguous in his compliments," growled Brewster disgustedly. "I don't believe he disapproved, Mr. Brewster. In the west the old gentleman is widely known as a wit." "A wit, eh? Then he'll appreciate an answer from me. Have you a telegraph blank, Mr. Grant?" Two minutes later the following telegram to Swearengen Jones was awaiting the arrival of a messenger boy and Brewster was blandly assuring Measrs. Grant & Ripley that he did not care a rap for the consequences: New York, Oct. 23. 1?. Swearengen Jones, Butte. Mont.: No doubt you could do It for less than six thousand. Montana Is regarded as the best graslng country In the world, but ws don't eat that sort of stuff In Nsw York. That's why It costs more to live here. MONTGOMERY BREWSTER. response~frotn 'tSrtwaytoontttfc,?*ntButte. Mont., Oct. 25, 1?. Montgomery nrewster. New York: We are 8.000 feet above the level of the sea. I suppose that's why It costs us tees to live high. 8- JOWKB. "I was beginning to despair, Monty," said Miss Drew reproachfully whan be had come down from the height ef bis exasperation and remembered that there were tilings of more importance. Tim llvlit In liln ">ro? hnuimht lh? faintest tinge of rod to her check*, and where n moment before there had been nnnoyance there was now a feeling of serenity. For n moment the alienee was fraught with purpose. Monty glanced around the room, uncertain how to begin. It was not so easy as be had imagined. "You are very good to see me," he said nt last. "It was absolutely necessary for me to talk to you this evening. I could not have endured the suspense any longer. Barbara, I've spent three or four sleepless nights on your account. Will It spoil your evening If I tell j'ou In plain words what you already know? It won't bother you, will It?" he floundered. "What do you mean, Monty?" she begged, purposely dense and with wonderful control of her eyes. "I love you, Babs," he cried. "I thought you knew al>out It all along or I should have told yon before. That'a why I haven't slept. The fear that you may not care for me has driven me nearly to distraction. It conldn't go on any longer. I must know today." i [to be contimjkp.] Short on Words. Bishop Thlrlwall, an English prelate, had the greatest possible aversion to answering questions. One day a tailor said to hlui when he had beell summoned to take the bishop's measurements, "What are your lordship's orders?" "I want a suit of clothe*." "Here is a very nice cloth, my lord." "Ah!" "And this Is likewise a very good one." "Yes." "Here Is another of excellent quality." "Very." "Which material will your lordship decide upon?" "I want a suit of ctotbef." And that was all the answer the tailor could get. When the new gardener accosted him as he was walking, book In hand, in the garden to ask, "How will your lordship have this border laid out?" there was no answer, "now will your lordship bo pleased to have this border laid out?" was the nert attempt. Still there was no reply, but when the question wns repeated for the third time the answer came, "Yott lire the gardener, I believe, and 1 am the bishop." i Straining a Point. 'Tollteet man I ever saw." "I noticed he laughed at the Englishman's jokes." But Do They? "Yotl know figures won't He." "Mathematical or feminine?" \