Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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Sir Henri BUCC/ By CYRUS TOW Author of "The Sou | of Country," "The ( I COPYRIGHT. 1905. BY G. W . t "Beg, you" hound!" cried llie boatswain, spurning hhli*\vith his foot. "I have you where I swore I'd briug you. I And, remember, 'tin I that laid you low?I?I"? lie shrieked like a maniac. "When you suffer in that living death for which they design you. remember with every lingering breath of anguish that it was I who brought you there! You trifled with me?mocked MA_k?l ?.l V Utv?uv. 11.1,1ml mv. 1UII uciiit'ii IU.V request. I groveled nt your feet and beg Beg, you hound I" get! you. You spurned me as I do you low. Cur?e you! I'll ask no mercy for you!" # '"My lord," gasped out Morgan, turning to tlie viceroy In one final appeal as two of the men dragged him to his feet again, "I have treasure. The galleon we captured?It Is burled. I can v Innil tlinpn 11 ^ "There Is not a man of your following." saltl the viceroy, "who would not gladly purchase life hy the same means." "And 'tis not needed." said the boatnwnln, "for I have told them where it lies." The utter uselessness of it at last came upon Morgan, and some of Ids r?.v>'age returned. He raced them once j?ore, with head uplifted. "At your will, I'm ready!" he cried. "1 defy you! You shall see how Harry /. Morgan can die. Scuttle me, I'll not give way again!" / "Take him away," said Alvurado. { "We'll attend to him Ih the morning." j "Now, we have had enough. See!" ) cried the old viceroy, pointing to the wiudojys. "Tlie day breaks. Take liiui away. Agramonte, to you 1 commit the fort. Mercedes, Alva ratio, come with me. Those who have no duties to perforin, go get some sleep. As for j on, pYisoncr, if you,have preparation to tuake do so at once, for in the morning you shall have no opportunity." "I am ready now!" cried Morgan recklessly, furious ^crausc he had boon bulked in his"attempt. "Do with 111c as you will. 1 have lia l my day, and it has been a long and merry one." "And I mine tonight. It has been short, but enough," laughed Ilorn'.gohl, Uis voice ringing like a maniac's in the lmll, "for I have had my revenge!" "Wo shall take caro of 1 !i:it in the morning," said Alvarado, turning away to follow the viceroy and Mercedes. CHAPTER XXV. CS^lEEORE It wa< submerged l>y tho , I L? I groat earthquake which s ? treI 1 1| ir.omlously dvorv^iclned tho shores of S xuh America with appalling disaster m arly a century and a half later, a great arid ra -k on an encircling stretch of sandy beach, re sultant of untold centuries of struggle j between stone and sea, thrust itsqlt ( above the waters a few miles northward of the coast of Venezuela. The cay was barren and devoid of any sort of life except for a single cluuip of busbes that had sprung up a short distance teolu the huge rock tipou a little plateau sulllcieutly elevated to resist the attacks of the sea, which at high tide completely overflowed the islet except at that one spot. Four heavy Iron staples had been driven with great difficult}* into holes I drilled 111 the faro of the volcanic rnefc 1 To thoae four large chains had been made fast. The four chains ended in four fetters, and the'four fetters inclosed the ankles and wrists of a man. The lougtl) of the four chains had been 00 cunningly calculated that the arms and legs of the nmu were drawn far apart, so that he resembled a giganticwhite cross against the durk surface of the stone. A sailor would have described his position by saying that he hnd been "spread eagled" by those who hod fastened him there. Vet the . chains were not too short to allow a little freedom of motion, lie could incline to one side or to the other, lift himself up or down a little or even e thrust himself slightly away from the Y face of the rock. The man was In tatters, for Ids clothing had bccu rent and torn by the violeut struggles he had made before he had been securely fastened in his chnfhs. lie was an old man, and his long gray hair fell on either side of his lean, tierce face in tangled masses. A strange terror of death?the certain fate that menaced him?was upon his countenance. With the bravudo of ; dP despair he had looked with seeming in4L difference on the sufferings of his own men that same mornlny. After being submitted to the tortures of the rack they had been "tanged to the outer walls, and he h- been forced to pass by them on his way to this hellish /pot. But the real courage of the man was gone now. Ills Simula Hon bad not evcy been good enou#i to deceive his enemies, and now even i Morgan,! INEER NSEND BRADY, therners," "For Love jrip of Honor," Etc. . DILLINGHAM COMPANY I that bud left hiiu. Ilo was alone, so be believed, upon the Island, and all of tbe mortal fear slowly crecpiug upon liim already appeared in bis awful faee, clearly ex! hiliited by tbe light of tbe setting sun streaming upon bis left band, for be was chained facing northward?tbat Is, seaward. As be fancied himself tb'e only living 'thing upon tbat island, be took little care to conceal bis emotions?indeed, it was impossible fov kim any longer to keep up the pretense of indifference. I Lis nerve i wore shattered, his spirit broken. Retribution was dogging him bard. Vengeance was close at hand at last. Resides, what mattered it? lie thought himself alone, absolutely alone. Hut in that fancy he was wrong, for in the solitary 111t'e copse of hushes of which mention hns beau made there lay bidden a man ?an aneient sailor. Ilis single eve gleamed as fiercely upou the bound, shackled prisoner as did the setting sun itself. Old Benjamin Ilornigold, wlio had schemed and planned for his revenge, had insisted upon being put ashore on the other side of the island after the boats had rowed out of sight of the captive, that he might steal back and, himself unseen, watch the torture of the man who had betrayed him and wronged him so deeply. Alvarado had complied with his request and had further promised to return for the boatswain in two days. They ealculnted nicely that the already exhausted prisoner would scarcely survive so long, and provisions and water ample for that period had been loft for the sustenance of Ilornigold?alone. Morgan, however, did not know this. Ho believed Ids only companions to be the body of the half breed who had died for him as he had lived for him and the severed head of Teach, a newer comrade who had not betrayed him. The body lay almost at Ids feet; the head had been wedged In the sand so that It.S sifflltlPM filw ?'!lu tllrii<ul ward him in the dreadful, lidless staring gaze of sudden death. They had said to the buccaneer as they fastened him to the rocks that they would not take his life, but that he would bo left to the judgment of God. What would that be? lie thought ho knew. He had lived long enough on tho Caribbean to know the habits of that beautiful and cruel sea. There was a I little stretch of sand at his feet, anil then the water began. He estimated that the tide had been ebbing for an hour or sowwlien he was fastened up anil abandoned. The rock to which he tad been chained was still wet, and ho noticed that tlie dampness existed far above his head. The water would recede and recede and recede until perhaps some .'UK) feet of bare sand would stretch before him, and then It would turn and come hack, back, back. Where would it stop? How high would It rise? Would it flood in in peaceful calm as It was then drawing away? Would it come crashing in heavy assault upon the sands as It generally did, heating out his life against the rock ? Of tho two he thought he should prefer a storm. lie would be beaten to pieces, the life battered out of him horribly in that event, but that would be u dm iiir, a struggle?action. lio could flglit If he eould not wait and eiuluro. i It would be a terrible death, but it would be soon over, ami therefore he ! preferred it to the slow horror of watching the approach of the waters creeping in and up to drown hlni. The chief agony of his position, however, the most terrifying feature in this dreadful situation to which his years of crime had at last brought him, was, that he was allowed no choice. So long as it was light Morgan intently watched the sea. There was a sense of companionship In it which helned to alleviate his unutternble loneliness. And he was a man to whom loneliness in itself was a punishment. There were too many tilings in the past that had a habit of making their presence felt when he was alone for liim ever to desire to be solitary. Presently the sun disappeared with the startling suddenness of tropic latitudes,and without twilight darkness fell over the | sea and over his linggard face like a veil. The moon had not yet risen, and he could see nothing. There were a #A??. 1- * -? - - * ? icn iiiiui riuilUH Oil UIU IlOl'l/.O]), DC IIU(l noticed, which might presage a storm. It was very dark uud very still, as calm a*d peaceful n tropic night as ever shrouded the Caribbean. Farther and farther away from him he could hear the rustle of the receding waves as the tide went down. Over his head twinkled .the stnrs out of the deep darkness. Then the moon sprang up as suddenly as the sun had fallen. Iler silver radiance flooded the Armament. Light, heavenly light, once more! Far away from him the white line of the water was breaking on the sliver sand. Now the tide turned and came creeping In. It lind gano out slowly, It had lingered as if reluctant to leave him, but to his distraught vision It yeturned with the swiftness of a thousand white horses tossing their wind blown manes. The wind died down; the clouds were dissipated. The night was so very calm It mocked the storm raging in his soul. kr'i '.V "V v",': * Anil still tlHPsilvered writer came flooding In. Gently, tenderly, caressingly, I Lie little waves lapped the sands. At last t':ey lifted the ghastly head of young Teach and laid It at his feet. lie cursed the rising tutor and bade It stay, and heedlessly It came on. It was a tropic sea, and the waters were is warm as those of any sun hissed ocean, but they broke upon his kuees with the coldness of eternal ice. They rolled the heavier body of his faithful slave against him. I-le strove to drive It away with his foot as he had striven to thrust aside the ghastly head, and without avail. The two friends receded as the waves rolled hack, but they came on again and again and again. They had been faithful to hini in 'fe; they remained with him in death. Now the water broke about his waist; now it rose to his breast. lie was exhausted, worn out. lie hung silent, staring. Itis mind was busy. His thought went back to that rugged Welsh land where he had been horn, lie saw himself a little boy playing In the tields that surrounded tiie-.Ju,rmliouse of his father and mother. \. lie took again that lone trio across (lie ocean. lie lived again in the hothell of the Caribbean. Old forms of forgotten buceaueers clustered about him. The water was higher now. It was at his neck. There were Porto Polio, Puerto Principe, and Maracaibo. and Chagres, and Panama?all, Panama! All the Honda of hell had been there, and he had boeu (heir chief! They came back now (o mock him. There was pale faced, tender eyed Maria Zercgi, who had died of the plague, aud the baby, the boy. Jamaica, too, swept into his vision. Thero was his wife shrinking away from him in the very articles of death. There was young Ebenezer Ilornlgold, dancing right merrily upon the gallows, together with others of the buccaneers he had hanged. The grim figure of the one oy?*d, boatswain rose before htm and leered s upon liim aud swept the other apparitions away. This was La Gttayra yesterday. He had been betrayed. Whose men were those? The men hanging on the walls? And Ilornigold had done it?old Ben Ilornigold?that he thought so faithful. lie screamed aloud again with hate; he called down curses upon the head of lite growing one eyed npparitiou. I t.d -A. ? ? ' .\mi UIU WURT liroivU JIUO 111S lllOlUU aiul stopped hiiu. It called biui toJiJs senses for a inoment. Ilis present peril overcame the hideous recollection of the past. That vrater was rising still. Great God! At last lie prayed. Lips that had only cursed shaped themselves Into futile petitions. There was a God after all. The end was upon him. yet wuh the old Instinct of life lie lifted himself upon his toes. He raised his arms as far as the chains gave him play and caught tlio chains themselves and strove to pull, to lift, at last only to hold himself up. a rigid, awful figure, lie gained an inch or two. hut his fettera held Uim down. As the water supported him he found little ditlleulty In maintaining the position for a space. But he could go no higher? if the water rose an inch more that would be the end. He could breathe only between the breaking waves now. The body of the black was swung against liim again and again, the head of young Teach kissed him upon the cheek, and still the water seemed to rise and rise and rise. He was a dead mau like the other two?Indeed, he prayed to die?and yet in fear lie clung to t|ic chains and held 011. Each moment lie fancied would be his last, but 111? COUIU UOl 1ft go. By anil by the waters fell. He could not believe it at tlrst. lie still hung suspended and waited with bated breath. Was he deceived? No, the waters were surely falling. The seconds seemed minutes to hi in; the minutes, hours. At last he gained assurance. There was no doubt but V&t the tide was going down. The waves had risen far, but he had been lifted above them; now they were falling, falling! Yes, and they were bearing away that accursed body and that ghastly head. He was alive still, saved for the time being. The highest waves only touched his breast now. Lower, lower, they moved away. Reluctantly they lingered, but they fell?they fell. To drown? That was not the judgment of God for him then. What would It was just out of reach of his lips It bo? Ills head foil forward 011 bis broast?bo bad faintod in tbo stuldon relief of bis undosirod salvation. Long time bo hung there, and still tbo tide ebbed away, carrying witb It all that was loft of tbo only two who bad loved him. lie was alono now surely, save for that watcher In the bushes. After awhile consciousness returned to him again, and after the Qrst swift sense of relief there came to him a deeper terror, for he bad gone through the horror and anguish of death and had not died, lie was alive still, but as helpless as before. It was morning now. On his right hand the sun sprang from the oceato bed with the same swiftness with which It had departed the night before. Liko the tide, It, too, rose and rose. There was not a cloud to temper the fierceness with which it beat uoou his * lieiul, not a breath of air to blow across bin fevered brow. The blinding rays struck him like hummers of molten iron,' lie stared at It out of his frenzled? bloodshot eyes and writhed beneath Its blazing heat. All his faculties wpre merged into oue consuming desire for water?water. The thirst was intolerable. 1'nless he could get some Ids brain would give way. lie was dying. dying, dying! Oh, (Sod, he could not die; he was not ready to die! Oh, for me* moment of time, for one drop of water?fSod?Clod ?<I<xl! Suddenly before his eyes there arose a figure. At first he fancied it was another of the apparitions which had compnniod with him during the awful night and morning, but this was a human figure, an old man, bent, haggard, like himself, with watching, hut with a liorce mad joy In ids face. Where had he cotnc from? Who was lie? What did he want? The figure glared upon the unhappy man with one llery evo, and then he lifted before the captive's distorted vision something. What was It?a eup of water? Water, water brimming over the cup! It was just out of reach of his lips?so cool, so sweet, so Inviting! He strained nt his chains, bent his head, thrust his lips out. lie | could almost touch It?not quite! Tie struggled ami struggled and strove to break Ids fetters, but without avail. Those fetters could not be broken by tlu? hand of man. lie could not drink? ah, God!?rtlieu ho lifted ids blinded eyes and searched the face of the other. "Horutgold!" lie whispered hoarsely with ills parched and stiffened lips. "Is It thou?" . "Aye. I wanted to let you know there was water Ifere. You must be thirsty. You'd like a drink? So would I. There is not enough for both of us. Who will get it? I. Look!" "Not all?not ail!" screamed the old captain faintly as the other drained tin* cup. "A ltttiel A drop for me!" "Not one drop," answered Ilornigdd; "not one drop! If you were in hell an 1 held a river In'nfy hand you would not get a drop! It's gone." lie threw the cup from him. "I brought you to this?1! Do you recall It? You owe this to me. You had your revenge; this Is mine. Hut It's not over yet. I'm watching you. I shall not come out here again, but I'm watching you, remember that! I can roc you!" "Take that knife you boar?kill ine!" "I don't want you to die?not yet. I want you to live?live a long time, anil remember!* "HornlKokl, I'll make amends! I'll be your slave!" "Aye, cro.wl and cringe now, you dog! I swore that you should do it! It's useless to beg me for mercy. I know not that word; neither did you. Remember, I watch!" He thrpw his glance upward, stopped sudilenlS, a fierce light In that old eye of his. X* i "liOoly .up," he pried, "and you will see! Take heart, man. I guess you won't have to wait for the tide, and the sun won't bother yon long. Ilomeml?cr, I am watcning you!" He turned and walked away, conceal-lug himself iu the enpso once more, where lie could see and not be seen. The realization that he was watched by one whom he could not see, 0110 who gloated over his miseries and sufferings and agonies, added the last touch to the torture of the buccaneer. He bad no longer strength or manhood. lie no longer cried out aftpr that one last anneal to the merciless sailor. IIo did not oven look up in obedience to the old man's injunction. What was there above him, beneath him, around him, that could add to his fear? lie prayed for death. They were the tirst and last prayers that hat! fallen froth his lips for fifty years, j th ose that day. Yet when death did come at last he shrank from it with an increasing terror and horror that made all that he had passed through seem like a trltle. When oltl Ilornigold laid looked up he had seen a speck in the vaulted heaven. It was slowly soaring around and around in vast circles ami with each circle coming nearer and nearer to the ground. A pair of keen and powerful eyes were aloft there piercing the distance, looking, searching in everj- direction until at last their glance fell niton the tigure upon the rock. The circling stopped. There was a swift rush through the air. A black feathered body passed between the buccaneer and the sun, and a mighty vulture, hideous bird of tint tropics, nliglited on the sands near by him. So this was the judgment of tJoil upon this man! For a second his tortured heart stopped its heating, lie stared at tho unclean thing, and then he shrank hack against the rock and screamed with frantic terror. The bird mbved heavily back a little distance and stopped, peering at hlin. lie could see It bv turnlmr his bond. Tlo ?*nniil drive it no farther. In another moment there was another rnsli through the air, another, another! Ho scream0(1 again. Still they came until it seemed as if the earth and the heavens were black with the horrible birds. High in the they had seen the llrst one swooping to the earth and with unerring instinct, as was their habit, had turned and made for the point from which the first had dropped downward to the shore. They circled themselves about him. They sat upon the rock above him. Tlu'VyStared at him with their lustful, carrion, Jeweled eyes out of their loathsome, feather less, naked heads, drawing nearer, nearer, nearer. lie could do no more. His voice wus gone. His strength was gone. lie closed his eyes, but the sight was still before him. Ills bleeding, foamy hps munibled one unavailing word: "Horn i go Id!" From the copse there came 110 sound, no answer. lie sank forward In lps chains, his head upon his breast, convulsive shudders alone proclaiming faltering life, lie 11 had no terror liku - to this whtcli lie, living. fmfi\ ; od. There was a weight upon l is shoulder now. Fierce talon< s:?;." leep Into his quivering tlesli. in f. t of lii< face, before a pair of lidlcs eyes that glowed like tire, a hellish, ernel beak struck at him. A faint, low, ghastly cry trembled through the still air. ?*?* * And the resistless tide came ill. A man drove away tin' birds at last before they had quite taken all, for the torn arms still hung in the iron fetters?an old tnau, blind of one eye, the black patch torn off the hideous hole that hud replaced the socket. He Hell had no terror like to lhi? i r capered with the uiinblcncss of youth before the ghastly, remains of humanity still fastened to that rock. lie shouted and screamed and laughed and sang. Tin; sight had been too horrible even for him. lie was mad, crazy; his mind was gone. lie had his revenge, and it had eaten him up. The waters dashed about his feet and seemed to awaken some new idea In his disordered brain. "What!" he cried. "The tide is up! I'p anchor, lads! We must beat out to sea. Captain, I'll follow you. Harry Morgan's way to lead, old Ben Ilornlgold's to follow. Ha, ha! IIo, ho!" He wa<led out into the water, slowly going deeper and deeper. A wave swept him off his feet. A hideous laugh came flontlng back over the sea, and then he struck out and out and out? ******* And so the judgment of <?od was. visited upon Sir Henry Morgan and his men at last, and as it was writ of old: With what measure they had meted out. it had been measured back to them again! TITE ENT>. An Klo?|i>pnt Criticism. AiiiMKUJiu j nomas, in commoting nil orchestra, seemed impassive, imperturbable. A writer in the Outlook commenting upon tliis says that he was apparently without passion or feeling, yet the appearance was not reality, and at one of Mr. Thomas' rehearsals it was fully contradicted. At a certain point in the symphony the orchestra was playing in perfect time and time, but with a certain mechanical effect which no one had noticed until Mr. Thomas suddenly rapped the music stand before him. The orchestra stopped. Then with his hand he imitated the action of an organ grinder. With only a word to indicate the bar at which the orchestra was to take up the music, lie struck the rack liefore him for attention, and with a movement of his baton gave the signal. The orchestra repeated the passage he hud criticised by dumb show, and this time it played with spirit and tire. A Silent I,mid. In the rainless interior of Australia there is a silence of the grave. This ' deathlike silence lias a peculiarly depressing effect. If two men are enmned anil one of tliom t.i n iii-a. taut township to get provisions while the other remains behind to look after the camp, the man who is to remain says to limate in forcible gold fields language, "!Xow, Bill, don't you be long away. You know what kind of a place tlds is to live in by yourself." If his mate is away for two or three days, the silence gets upon the man's nerves, and in the end he shouts in order to make a noise, and then lie is afraid of the sound of his o\\ n voice. Cinnamon. Ceylon provides us with the bulk of our cinnamon, which Is the aromatic bark of certain trees common to that island. The trees are never allowed to grow higher than ten fee* During the season of harvesting, of whielt there are two a year, the branches of three to five years' growth are cut down and the top surface of the hark seraned nwnv Tlmii tli/> lmi-i.* o i up longitudinally into slices, which when exposed to the sun to dry curl up into quills. In tlio course of drying the oil, upon which the nroiua and flavor depend, Is diffused throughout the bark. Orlncin of (irnft. Municipal corruption of various kinds la generally Indicated by the word "graft." The origin of this term Is obscure, but It is believed t<r have arisen from dishonesty in lowlier spheres. Bnrtlett's Dictionary of Americanisms defines "grafting" as pocket picking, and Ilotten's Slang Dictionary suggests that the slang use of "graft" might be a corruption of "craft" or a generalization from the special work of gardening. No Unlit Conl<l Keep Him Awny. Kntlilene?It's little ye love ine, or ye wud ntver stay away from me as ye did last ovcnln' Jlst because av a wee bit o' rain. Dndee Mike?Sure It wor a potirln' down floods, mavourueen, but it wor not th' rain that kep' me away from th' lolght av y'r hlvenly eyes. Ivath|enc?An' wot wor It? Dudee Mike?It wor th' lsok av an umbrella.?New York Weekly. ( .--"v t Odd Art Criticism*. A young woman of great, perhaps too great, sensibility, according to the , Dundee Advertiser, begged to be exi cased from visiting an aunt who lived in an old fashioned house where pictures of a certain period were In arldenee. "There is an engraving of a blacksmith's shop in the dining room!" said she hysterically. "You can't expect me to eat my dinner there; I smell the hoofs." A similar criticism came from ono : who suffered, not from overretliieI incut, but from something quite dlf| ferent. She was a woman of recently acquired wealth, who went Into an art gallery and asked for a painting of a certain size. "1 have just what you want," said the dealer, lie showed her n beautiful nnlinal painting, hut she looked at It for a few minutes and then shook her head. "It won't do." she said; "I want this picture f >r my drawing room." "But It's n beautiful thing," ventured the dealer. "Not for a drawing room," announced the woman conclusively; "you couldn't have a cow in a drawing room." PnnmlcH Krum the Oreelc. If two are a few, why not three; If three, why not four, and by a gradual i) uuvuucing increment or nntnoer wny not 10,000 or nny otlior number? Or, again, If the loss of u single hnlr does not make a man bnld, why should th * loss of two, of three, mid so on, ami Inferentlally the loss of nil? If, then, no addition or subtraction of a unit can transform a small number of wheat (trains Into a heap or a full head of lialr into a bnbl head, how Is it possible that either transition should ever be accomplished? Take a grain of millet out of a bushel and let It fall on the ground, and It makes no noise. Take every grain In succession of 10,000, let the same happen, and 110 sound Is heard. Then collect all the grains back into the bushel and pour It out, and the result Is a great noise. How, asks Zcno. can 10,000 noiseless processes make one full of noise? TrenpmnlnR. According to the common law of Knglaiul there can be no theft of things which form part of or are attached to the soil, and there Is no statute or penalty against the gathering of wild flowers in a Held or wood. Most people at some time (a- other have paused at the fearsome legend, "Tu-spassers Will Be Froseouted," printed on the menacing hoard which lawyers have described as a "wooden liar," for, as a matter of fact, the more walking across another man's tlebl Is no more a criminal ofi fense than to walk along the highroad. 1 If till. tl'MILIcum. /1/tAo I .1 ? i age there in no ground for prosecution, I with any hope of obtaining more tlinn merely nominal damages, and none but a born litigant would dream of taking action.?London Globe. Krnyed Cnffn. Among the minor arts of life of which we have lately given some Instances is one which Is sadly neglected. It relates to the treatment of shirt cuffs that show the first protest against the laundry's handling. The laundress is eruel, hut the man who pares his shirt cuffs with scissorR heaps folly upon brutality. With the first touch of steel the cuff Is ruined. Light a match and p iss It round the frayed edges (do not burn your wrist), i The cleansing lire will remove the dross and leave Intact the pure gloss of the cuff. A cuff treated with Are will last laundry generations longer than the cuff treated with steel.?Ix>ndon Chronicle. Advertising? nnd Succf??, Try to name the things In trade ! that are great sellers and yet are not ; advertised. You will not get far.? | Boston Herald. our clear headed contemporary is J right. The groat successes of the com! niorclnl world are good things well ad-. J vertisod. There is nothing like "print-, j er's Ink" to turn a merchant's dimes I Into dollars. And there are such skill and power of interesting description | shown l>y the advertisers of today that the columns devoted to their announcements am not only full of Information, but are mostly readable and entertaining. New York llernld. Didn't Run Uphill. "I thought you tohl me the well on that farm you sold me never ran dry." "It doesn't either. You have to pump It before it goes dry, and I'll leave tt to yourself if It isn't hard work." Precocious. "He is only six years old, and yet ho believes in the big stick policy." "Remarkable!" "Well, it Is the big stick of candy that he howls for." - Two of a Kind. Their Jwlgment surely Is amiss Or slightly on tho l?las Who call tho bribed official bad And think the briber pious. A Speed Record. "IIo ran through his money in one ! yenr." "IIow (lhl ho do It?" "With an automobile." Couldn't Beat It. "Thursday was his lucky day." "I?ld ho pick the winning horse?" "No; he missed the train for the race , track." Needs It In His Business. To round our lives out strong and full Some boosting friends wo need. A dentist needs must have a pull Or else ho can't succeed. 4 A Man's "What docs he want to marry he* for?" i "Just t(Cfause she won't have hlio." * * > "* | '' ,v *>'* . V-, .