The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, December 30, 1904, Image 8
r - '
(love and
11 youth
By
MARJORIE HENDRICKS
Anna Whelan woke up with a start
to the realization that as a summer
girl she was not in the running.
For some time after the young peo
pie had tripped down the steps and
" across the lawn to the inn, where the
musicians were already tuning up for
the hop, she sat alone gazing unblinklngiy
out luto the moonlit grove. Then
a faint perfume stole over her shoulder
and a well known voice sounded behind
her.
"Oh, Miss Whelan, I am so glad to
find you! We are trying to make up a
game of bridge. You will play, won't
you?"
"i am nwruny sorry," said Anna, rising,
"but I am a wretched player anil
always rouse the ire of my partner.
Besides, I have a wee headache tonight,
which would make me more than
ordinarily stupid at the game. Some
other time"?
"1 hope you will feel better tomorrow.
Is there anything I can do for
you? Some salts"?
"Nothing, thank you," said Miss
Wlielan, with a smile.
She Wished she might have been
more obliging. The invitation had
come from one of the most popular
women in the hotel, popular, but middle
aged, and Anna Wlielan was not
rendy to be middle nged. Alone again,
she dropped back in her chair, leaned
her head against the high wicker back
and closed her eyes. And for this?to
be left alone on the piazza?she had
uaved part of her salary all winter,
had invested part of her savings in
the quaintest of summer flnery, had
counted the days until her vacation
began.
'She recalled the enthusiasm with
which she had heard the other girls
plan for the stay at Wisconset. There
were six of them in all who lived in a
bachelor maids' apartment in town,
and for n month or more the one topic
of conversation had been the sailing
parties, the daily bath in the sea, the
clambakes and the nightly liopa for
which Wisconset was famous. The
girls had Insisted that Miss Whelan
come with them, and she now realized
that they had done everything to make
her one of them since their arrival at
the shore. They had always dragged
her into their merrymaking plans. She
was with them, yet not of them, and
she knew wherein lay the fault. It
was in her years.
Jtter ch.e^k-K.. somehow had retained
the delicate pink llush of girlhood, hut
the soft gray hair waved above her
forehead told the bald truth of her
years. Her pretty frocks were more
dalntj-, more costly, than those worn
by the girls around her, but Miss WhoInn's
taste in dress had always been
good, and with advancing years she
had adopted the more subdued colorings
and simpler styles. Iler summer
wardrobe was that of a chaperon rather
than that of a debutante. Yet at
heart she was a summer girl. She felt
as young and took as keen an interest
In youthful pleasures as any eighteenyear-old
girl. Sitting there in the moonlight,
she realized that, once robbed of
youth, a woman could not buy the lost
. treasure back at any price.
Her childhood had been narrow, penned
In by poverty and an invalid moth^
er pettish and exacting. Death had
carried away one burden, that of unappreciated
nursing, only to lay upon
lipr Rlimilrlnvn nnntlior thnfr nf nnrf
housekeeper, part breadwinner. Slio
had gone Into a shop as cash girl and
had attended to tho household duties
night and morning. When slio was
sixteen years old slu? sat up until nearly
daybreak three nights lu succession
to set stitches in her sister's confirmation
dress. The sister went through
the high school, as did tho younger
brother, and while they studied Amia
was steadily advancing In tho store.
When she became buyer for her department
and took her first trip abroad
It brought back the pink In her cheeks
that fled before litr tenth birthday, but
Anna was now three times ten.
On her return from Europe she found
that the same disease which had wrecked
her childhood and curded away her
mother had again entered her home.'
This time It carried away In quick succession
brother and sister. Anna found
herself alone and lonesome. She fled
to the bachelor maids' apartments for
companionship and was made welcome
by these girls ten years or more
her Junior. With them she had grown
young again. She had almost forgotten
the gray hair. It bad taken the
thoughtless boys In blue serge and
.white duck to drive the iron Into her
heart. They were nice to her because
they knew that the girls would not forgive
them If they were otherwise. But
v that was not youth and the right to ho
young and Joyous and silly. Anna sat
up very straight. She had become pos*
seased of a sudden desire to giggle, yet
many a time and oft she had reproached
the little cash girls In her own department
for criiralimr.
Laughter and music floated across
the lawn. They hurt. She rose abruptly
and fled to her room. The headache
now wm real. She tore off her pretty
gown and flung It heedlessly across the
bed and slipped into an easy flowing
kimono. Then she sat down by the
window, thinking bitterly that fate had
cheated her out of the greatest thing,
the Joy of being young. Suddenly,
as she sat In the quiet, the sound of
a sob reached her ear. Something very
like a patter of bare feet came to her
from the hall. She aprang up and threw
open her door. A small figure huddled
against it fell in toward her.
"Oh, please, I'ui so frightened all
alone! May I come in?"
"You surely may," said Anna as she
drew the shivering, weeping child into
the room.
She recognized her now. It was the
serious faced little girl who had a room,
two doors beyond. She had often seen
her on the sand and on the poreli with
her nurse. It did not take Anna very
long to learn that the child was motherless,
in the care of a young and heedless
aunt and an Ignorant nurscgirl.
The former was absorbed in the social
affairs at the inn and the latter in the
gatherings iu the servants' hall. Little
Grace had been left quite alone in her
room, and a strong draft had blown
out the lamp, so that between the darkness
ajul an ugly dream she had wakened
up in terror.
That was the beginning of a new holiday
for Anna Whelau. The nurse and
young aunt had little to do from that
time on sjlve to provide for Grace's
"You wouldn't Lave given iier credit
Cor being so clever. She probably
knew the child's father was worth a
million."
"No; I understand he is not worth
anything or the sort. lie is only a
corporation lawyer, and 1 think she
liked Grace for her own sake."
The two women passed out of hearing.
The pink had tied from Anna's
face, leaving it tired and white. She
rose unsteadily, but the man took her
firmly by the arm and drew her back
to her chair.
"Don't go. please. I know you care
for Grace for licr own sake. l)o you
think you could care for me for mine?
1 wanted to ask you tlii i the lirst
night."
Instinctively Anna's hand reached
up to her hair.
"Oli, I couldn't! I've known you
cucli a short time?people would talk
?and?I'm really too old to have n
love nft'air."
She- did not speak bitterly, just simply.
us if n thought long unspoken
lind found utterance. The man took
both of her hands In his.
"My dear girl, love never grows old,
niul neither will you."
Mine ItntH.
Every mine that has an entrance on
the level is infested by rats, and thcro
is no surer indication of a coming disaster
than a general exodus of the
rodents. As surely as tne rats are seen
leaving the mine, Just so surely will u
cave-in occur Jn the next day or two.
Efome miners ars^superstitious about
the matter and fancy tlie rats are endowed
with foresight, and so they are,
but not of the kind that is commonly
imagined.
A cave-in never takes place without
warning. For days before a fall of
any portion of the roof of the mine the
earth and rocks are slowly settling into
position for the grand crash. The
rats feci the motion of the mass, probably
hear tlie cracks that are caused
hy-'4he filling of the layers, and imagine,
u a rat can he supposed to have
any imagination, that the earth is becoming
alive, so they become panic
'stricken and rush out in swarms. It
lias often happened, both in this country
and Europe, that the miners refused
to go into a mine that the rats had
deserted, and the caution was invariably
Justified by the event.
Dendlty of Water.
A strange fact in connection with
water is that its point of greatest density
is not the freezing point, as willi
nil other liquids, hut between the two
extremes of its existence as a llqui^l,
at od.2 degrees F. From this point water
necessarily expands with either decrease
or increase of tempernture.
At the boiling point the conversion
Af ?I.A 11A?I-1 * ? * ' * "
ui iue itjuiii iinu i^us bii'iim i? naturally
nccouipnnled by nu enormous oxpan- j
slon, its volume increasing 1,700 times.
Hut the behavior of water at the freezing
point Ul as reinarknblc, owing to
the peculiar crystalline formation of
ice. The process of expansion is uniform
from 30.2 degrees downward to
82 degrees. When that point is reached
the temperature remains stationary
during the loss of latent heat, but tho
expansion continues until, when ice
becomes visible, it is seen to be bulkier
than the water from which It was
formed.
physical wants. Anna was her constant
companion. She seemed determined to
cive tills sliv ten-vcnr-ohl o-irl nil (lm
companionship, the sympathy, the simple,
unaffected pleasures, which had
been denied her own* chilli hood. She
'did not dream that in the moments
when they wore not together (J race in
her stiff, unformed writing was sending
a dally chronicle thv-lr companions'.)'^
to Ik: father. Nor covdd she
know of the resentment which tilled his
soul against the well paid and heedless
caretakers of his child and the curiosity
regarding the girl with the gray hair
and pink cheeks who was mothering
his wee bairn, for (trace assured him
in every way that Miss Whelan was
epiite as young as Aunt llattio. '
When he finally came down to spend
a'Sunday with his daughter his first
step was to meet Anna. He smiled
as his daughter gravely introduced her
as "my friend, Miss Whelan." They
were such an absurdly different couple
anil yet so very much alike in interests
and pleasures. i to found his gaze
traveling constantly over the brown
head of his daughter to the gray head
of his now found friend, and he began
to understand the letters bettor.
On Monday morning he did not go
hack to town, hut told his sister Ilattle
that he had only just commenced
to realize how the office had worn him
down. lie needed a week's rest. Three
nights later he was silting In
a sheltered corner of the veranda with
Miss Whelan when two members of
the elderly porch brigade strolled slowly
by, talking in a high keyed voice
which came squarely to their secluded
corner.
IVAN THE TERRIBLE.
Darltnrlc C?nr Who I.ovcil to Rarn,
Hull ami Torture Ilia Subjects.
Some of the reasons why Ivan, ezar
of Russia, was called. "the Terrible"
have been retold by K. Walbszewskl in
his book. Persons who displeased him
he would saw asunder by the constant
rubbing of a rope nrouud their waists or
sprinkle alternately with lee cold aud
iKjili.tR water. lie marked his sense of
a bad Jest by deluging the perpetrator
with boiling soup and then running
him through with a lcuife. lie rebuked
an unmannerly envoy by summoning
a carpenter and ordering him to nail
the man's hat on his head. There were
also wholesale orgies, as at the punishment
of Novgorod, when he had a hundred
persons roasted over a slow tire
by a new and Ingenious process and
then run down on sledges into the river
to be drowned. At Moscow the czar
had a disappointment. There was to;be
a great execution of 300 victims who
had already been tortured to the last
extremity, and loyal subjects had wen
summoned to the function. "To IvAn's
astonishment the great square Was
empty. The instruments of torture
that stood ready?the stoves and rteithot
pinchers and iron claws and needles,
the cords, the great coppers full
of boiling water?bad failed to attract
this time.
"But there had been too much of this
sort of thing lately, and the executioners
were growing too long armed. livery
man sought to hide deeper than
his neighbor. The ezar had to send reassuring
messages all over the town.
'Come along! Don't be nfraid! Nobody
will be hurt!' At last out of cellars
and garrets tlie necessary spectators
were tempted forth, and forthwith
Ivan, inexhaustible and quite unabashed,
began a lengthy speech.
Could he do loss than punish the traitors?
But he had promised to be merciful.
and lie would keep his word!
Out of the .".CO who had been sentenced
ISO should have their lives!" Torture
and execution were, however, in the
case of Ivan very much more than the
more instruments of barbaric justice.
They w ire his recreation and delight.
As a boy Ills amusement was.to throw
dogs down from the top of one of the
castle terraces ami watch their dying
agonies. As a man he used to go the
round of the torture cham.oers after
dinner. One of his first crimes was the
execution of his earliest friend, Feodor
Vorontsov. One of his last was the
murder of his own son.
According to Wnllszewskl, It was the
recognized thii-g in Russia for the upper
dog to make things as uneoinfortablo
for the under dog as knouts and
slow fires could make them. So "the
Terrible" only talked of his subjects
In the language they could most readily
understand. Ivan was by no means
unpopular with the people. In many
ways lie was an enlightened and progressive
monarch. He took the first
steps toward the founding of Russia'si
great eastern empire. He made more
or less successful attempts toward political
and legal reform, and he had a
certain gift of leadership and instinct
of statesmanship which he used to the
best advantage. Personally he was a
coward, as was shown at the siege of
ivasan, wnen no Kept diligently to bis
devotions in spite of the repeated entreaties
of his men to come out dnd
help them.
:
Portrait Iitittoim.
Portrait buttons for campaign purposes
are no new thing. Exactly the
same method of conveying the expression
of political admiration was In
force in tlie days of Queen Anne. At
the time of the famous sermon by Dr.
Snchcverell, when party passion reachI
ed a high pitch, the custom was originated
of using coat buttons adorned
i with caricatures, portraits of tlie much
j discussed doctor and similar decorations.
Nor was the fancy confined to
buttons. Gentlemen sealed theibetters
with similar designs, anil a little later
they* were to be found on the backs of
playing en'nl* and even on women's
fans. Dr. sacheverell's head, again,
was made use of to ornament tobacco
stoppers, crockery and similar articles.
Skillful Porto menus.
| The natives of l'orto Kico fashion a
variety of useful and ornamental articles
l>y liaed from the palm leaves,
gourds, coeoanuts and other products
of the island. They are skillful In weaving
hammocks, hats similar to Panama
hats, and a great variety of baskets.
Canes, paper knives and other
articles are carved out of the nutive
woods, some of which show curious
and strikingly ornamental markings.
The senoras and senoritas of Porto
llioo are e pQgially skillful with the
needle and produce a considerable quantity
of line drawn work and laces.
Already Supplied.
A Swedish girl just urrived from the
old country attended evening service at
a Duluth church. The minister, seeing
i she was a stranger, shook hands with
her at the close of the meeting and
said he would llnd pleasure in calling
upon her soon, whereupon the girl,
blushing, hung her head and bashfully
murmured, "T'ank you, but Ay have a
fella."
For Amntenr Tliesplnas.
Knox?I hear you'ro getting up an
amateur theatrical club. Woodby?
Yes, and now we're looking for n good
motto for the club. What would yon
suggest? Knox?What's the matter
with "Think twice before you act?"?
Philadelphia Press.
.
Abientmlmlvd.
Tim i ?* ?- -
J.1H! *11 UlJill ? I I'BU I BWJ luarTHW.-K
your father placed among the wedding
present*. The Brhlo? Papa is eo abscutminded!
lie lit his cigar with it.
Our enemies are our outward con deuces?Shakespeare.
w rf.
- ? ?v;
' ' A^'
t
1
Humor and Philosophy
By DUNCAN M. SMITH
H ?
Copyright, 1W4, by Duncan M. Smith.
TIME FOR THE NEW START.
What, you here
Again, little year?
Only seems like a few
Weeks since you
Were around before.
Not more
Than a month at best.
Who would have guessed
You
Were duo
Bo soon?
If It were June
No one would bo surprised.
But when one full sized
Year has fled
It makes a inan scratch his head.
Hold
Ills breath and wonder If he is not
growing old.
Time is a thief.
It seems but yesterday we turned over
that leaf
And swore
To smoke no more.
Nor is that all,
If wo recall
Aright.
Quite
A number of things were on that list.
We missed
A few,
Perhaps, but not over two.
But where
Are these resolutions now? Echo an- .
swers, "In the air."
Say,
You may
Think it Is easy to bo good,
To saw wood
Right along,
To bear down strong
And never once look up, but, my
Goodness, Just try,
And you'll see.
The date is here, and the entries are
free.
AVsBSsTw ll0r husband is
The Average Man.
Did you over see the average inau?
Ho Is found In the government statistics
and lives on the fat of the land,
but they always forget to give his photograph
and his street number.
This average man eats a certain num- 1
ber of pounds of meat every day, has
several good suits of clothes during
the course of the year and, shocking to
relate, drinks up a few barrels of beer, j
The average man has a family of
three children, no more, no less. If he
expects them to grow up some day and
support him, he is doomed to disappointment,
for they always remain the
same average age. Looking at the
things he consumes and the number of
miles he travels, you would think that
he had a snap, but on looking farther
down the page you cense to envy him
when you lind how many dnys of hard
nrnelr li tm fn { ? <1nnln/w 41>a
?uiu uu jjuis in uuiui^ tnu j fai.
Transformation.
Simple little Mary Ann,
Innocent and free of guile,
To a school of modern plan
She was sent to give her style.
When she went tho little lass
Artless was and fancy free.
But she ne'er returned, alas!
In her place came home Marie.
No Fight In Him._C7/}
"I should think \ I
you would be
afraid to talk so
saucy to so big ya
man." " | 1 AWjVAve^
"He wouldn't 1 | A)
hurt any one. I Qu 1 fjy} (\\
happen to know u / (( f J \ \
that he Is an ex- |
prize fighter." /
PERT PARAGRAPHS.
The girl that didn't know that she
was under the mistletoe is always
dreadfully provoked at herself when
she discovers It?nit.
A pcssluHst is the fellow who failed
in doing last week what you are trying
to do this week.
1 lt*Vs an ill wind that blows your
neighbor's sidewalk clean and heaps
the drift over yours.
When a man appears to have lost
his temper It generally transpires that
he only mislaid it.
There nre lots of people that are dead,
but don't show It.
Tbe devil pets sick occasionally just
for *V.e fiendish pleasure of letting his
conditio.) he known to his tenants and
denying them the pleasure of relating
their own experiences and loading him
%up with remedies.
Itnshfulness often conceals a first
class quality of nerve.
It does no good to talk back to an
alarm clock.
A sucker la a "con" man who baan't
rat learned the trade. .
BOX OFFICE TRICKS.
i he berth of a theater ticket
seller is not a sinecure.
Why (lie Mn? Who fill* lie lit ml (lie
\v icket Hunt lie 11 Good .iimikc of
Iluitiiin Nature?The Art of "Ureaiiik"
a I-tuht House.
To tho average theater goer the man
who sits behind the wicket in the uot
oilice and sella tickets seems to have
one of the sinecures of earth. True, be
has to answer many fool questions and
deal with many fool persons who are
often ugly because others with more
foresight have picked up early till the
good seats. lie has to handle diplomatically
the woman who wants dollar
scats for 70.ceuts and with the other
fellow who wants "first row, center,"
after the play has begun and that bus
been sold for a week ahead. But all
these things seeui but his share of the
minor ills of earth. Outside of them
apparently Ids job is what is generally
known as a "snap."
But the man in the box office has
other things to do besides sell tickets.
True, that is where ho comes in eontact
with the general public, aud that'
is all that is usually thought about his
duties. But at the same time he is.
serving the public lie Is working for
two masters behind the scenes, the
proprietor of the bouse and the manager
of the attraction, and he must
serve them equally, while their interests
sometimes conflict sharply. Furthermore,
he must serve them as
against the public if need there be, and
it keeps him hustling to hold his Job
to do it too.
The man behind the wicket Is a good
man if he can make you buy a seat
that costs you more than you intended
to invest to see that particular "show"
?all attractions in a playhouse are
"shows" in the parlance, be they opera,
LUiutu%> ui \ iuniv \ nir. i>vn\ , uiwnt iwcn
think they know what they are going
to got when they visit a theater, and
they especially have the price fixed in
their minds. Perhaps, psychologically
speaking, they are stronger minded
than the house treasurer. Then they
do get what they want, and he never
questions it. Ilut tlie average man is
not. The treasurer is trained in ticket
selling. It is his daily routine, while
it la an occasional act on the man's
part. Ilence lie is fortified for the public,
and the latter is not for hiui, nnd
so when the people step up, especially
if it is rather late nnd there is something
of a rush, a clever ticket man
can easily get the extra price out of
them for a higher selling seat.
IIow does lie do it? Largely by the
power of suggestion. He implies that
you want it, for instance, when you go
up. In other words, he puts the question
as to what priced seat by asking
you about the higher ones before he
mentions the lower onss, nnd when lie
does refer to the latter, at your suggestion,
he does it rather apologetically,
lie lias the higher rate tickets in his
hand, nnd if you do not take them he
reaches to the rack for the others, and
all the time the line Is waiting, those
back of you are scowling, if not making
remarks, and every one within earshot
of the window knows that you
have refused the higher seats for the
lower priced ones. This is embarrassing.
Especially is it so if a girl is with
you, waiting Just outside the rail that
separates the mob from the line, and
the chances are 10 to 1 that you will
take the cue, involuntarily, and pay a
quarter more, when you had no intention
of doing so when you approached
the clover man in the box.
That is one way. It doesn't require
any falsehood. It does require a good
tiuuwieugc 01 nunian nature, some men
wouldn't "stand for" that. They would
be offended, and it might hurt the
house. That is for the treasurer to
beware. He must "size up" his customers
and act accordingly.
There Is a great gain in time in selling
without a chart. A man will then
step ui? nnd nsk for a "good seat"
about a certain place. Running
through his lists, the seller finds him
something very near there, and he is
satisfied. That one man is finished in
a few seconds. It would take minutes
if the sheets were there. Time is important
when tho orchestra Is playing
and the curtain about to go up.
Still further, the absence of a chart
enables tho seller to "dress" his house,
provided the sale is light, and to keep
out "singles" if it is heavy. "Singles^<
are seats left alone when the adjoining
pairs have been selected from a chart.
"Singles" are hard to sell because very
few persons attend n theater alone. Almost
all seats arc sold in pairs. A
treasurer with a bunch of "singles" on
his hands, even with a house threatening
to sell out. is "up against it," for
often ho will lose sales that would
have meant capacity but for the fact
that he cannot place a couple in adjoining
seals, though he may have several
odd ones left.
"Dressing" a house is the avoidance
of this condition in one sense, but it
applies to light houses generally. When
a show is not doing weli it is up to the
box olllce to make the house look fall
even though it be only partly solid,
lie does this by scattering the crowd.
Instead of selling n section solid and
leaving adjoining sections vacant he
sells a few here, a few there, and thus
the empty apneas are not concentrated.
Men usually dress a house from the
center out. They will sell a good part
of the center section, scattering, and
then will work out on the left and
right. This is because seats on the extreme
edge of the house are not ao
good, and people expect them to be vacant
except In a.heavy house anyhow
and do not notice them so soon. He
knows his house like a book, and he
knows early In the day whether or not
he will have a crowd. Hence he acts
accordingly .?Kansas Ctty Journal*
t s
Humor and Philosophy
By DUNCAN M. SMITH
.
Copyright, 1304, by Duncan M. Smith.
PERT PARAGRAPHS.
Truth is mighty, but a lie <s smoother.
People without money are people to
whom Bin appertains; rich people hare ' * .
only little peccncllllos and IdlnfTynnrai " "*nx
files. -N >* "*
X #
Some people talk a good deal to keep
their hearers from thinking.
your neighbors
_ \ do not bare.
Guidebooks
\V I nre sadly lackPtH
1 /I 'nK *n ***at
f \ I J do not point out
I T ^*11 n short cut to
(Uj Easy street.
A mule may not be able to read and
write, but he can make bis mafic.
A,'"brnvb -man " W one whose bluff
hasn't been called.
Marriage is n great eye opener, and
It also lins n tendency to open pocketbooks.
It will be observed that the simple 41
life only appeals to those on whom
financial stress does not force it.
The difference between gambling and
speculating lies largely In the different
shirt patterns affected by different
men. >
Ticking up a warm horseshoe is mild
amusement as compared with careless- ~
ly taking hold of a live wire.
It would add much to the sum total
of man's happiness if fishing could b?
done in the winter in some warm basement
with snwdust on the floor.
The Aftermath.
'Twos the week after Christmas,
And scattered about
Were battered tin soldiers.
An army In rout; .
Three wheeled locomotives, ^
A ship short ono deck.
All looking as though
They had been through a wreck.
A dolly was armlesa;
It's face was a sight.
The new flro wagon
Was ladderless quite;
The ark was lopsided.
In grief was Its crew;
Tou never had guessed
j.ney so mieiy were new.
The new drum was noiseless.
Its head was caved In;
The tin horn was footless.
The top wouldn't spin,
The dishes were broken.
The picture books torn.
The painted drum major
Was sad and forlorn.
'Tw&s the week after Christmas.
Things lay everywhere
That Santa had picked 'f.
With such trouble and cars.
The old fellow looked.
But he Just couldn't smile
He said to himself; '
"Is It really worth wbMsT"
Ran Out of Material,
"He is very proud of the fact that he
is a self mado man."
"If he Is so smart as all that It la
strange he did not make some more
hair for the top of his head."
Easy.
"What's the difference between a
strict schoolteacher and an Indulgent
parent?"
"Don't know." .
"Usually a bad boy."
A Leap Year Proposal,
There was a young girl of Montana
Who' gave a young man a Havana.
When he'd smoked It awhile V"
Bhe remarked, with a smile,
"Do you think you would like to have
A
AltliU *
jf\ Good Eye*
"What & bean2^5?
tlful complexion
<&r jj^ Mlaa Dashaway
ft=a>p \ I I ft\ "Yea; her new
//7 \ I III \ ??ald is quite an
II Sc^sl L?. { \1 \ artist."
More Terrible Puniihiycnt.
"In a fit of rage he threw a- plate at
his wife."
"D14 she sue him for divorce!"
"No; she made him buy her a sealskin
sack."
-v-Wj
Be (W?i. 1
Don't steal a loaf; you'll set In jail;
You know .that In advance. M
Don't steal a million dollars, for
You'll never set the chance.
His Inspiration.
"lie discovered three comets la OM
night."
"Great advertisement for the brand
he had been drinking."
Forced on Them. "Do
you think people read poetry 1*'
Certainly; many of them know the
I street car ads. by heart*r ,
^ V ? r ?u - - 7