Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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i > * ; VICTIMS OF A RECOIL By Loufae J. JXronj} Copyright, 1??. b>" T. C. McClnro ( > C "Wh-e- w! Tills Is the hottest duy that ever broiled!" Mr. J. Sanborn, elderly, somewhat portly and very Irascible, glared about, defying contradiction. The old gentleman In front of him ' bristled aggressively. Mr. Sanborn, with an eye out for offpn<IP nh*l?P\'oH iho hrlatllnrr ntwl roUni?_ I ated dogmatically, "The very hottest day!" "No such filing! There's boon millions hotter!'' The ohl gentleman flashed around like a pugnacious bulldog. "The very hottest day!" Mr. Sanborn , bawled stubbornly. "Not even the hottest this season! On the 10th the thermometer registered 16 degrees higher," his opponent explained with aggravating exactness. "Then the thermometer lied! AH thermometers do!" "My thermometer Is exact! It's the best made." "I don't ctrc if It's the only one made, It lies If It says there's ever been a hotter day than today." Mr. Sanborn mopped his face in exaggerated distress. Feople were smiling at the absurd contention, and a girl across the aisle giggled. Both disputants looked at her, . and with a gesture of authority the old gentleman ordered: "Here, miss, you look cool and reasonable. Tell this lump of obstinacy that today is frigid beside the 10th." "Oh, don't ask me to be umpire. 1 don't know anything about thermome ters. I always go by my feelings," she cried. "The only sensible way," Mr. Sanborn affirmed. "The way of ninnies and numskulls!" stormed the old gentleman. "Your station, sir," the conductor interrupted. The old gentleman bounced off, trailing his statements and assertions to the platform. The train started. Mr. Sanborn stuck his head out the window and shouted, "The very hottest day!" Then he settled back and laughed. The girl laughed, too, and slipped across Into the old gentleman's place. "I wound him up!" Mr. Sanborn explained with satisfaction. "I expect he thinks It is pretty hot by now," she smiled, "but, really, you know, wo have had hotter weather." "Gh. yes," he assented unexpectedly. "I suppose I'm doing my own roasting." "Fuming?" she intimated. "Li?e a boiling kettle. Think I'd explode but for easing off 011 the old gentleman," he chuckled in memory of the exploit. "You should take things easy in hot weather. It's the only way to keep cool," she remarked sagely. "Take things easy! I,ook here, when you've hod a blow that's knocked all your life plans lielter skelter you don't feel either easy or cool." "No; that's true. One might make new plans," she suggested. "New plans!" lie scoffed. "I don't know why I'm the one to make concessions. He owes nil he is to me." She looked polite inquiry, and he continued: "You see, it's my nephew. I've raised him and been a father to him? done well by him too; given 1dm the best advantages nioney'll buy. And all I've asked of him is that he'll go ahead and be a credit to us." He paused rcminiscently. "And hasn't he?" she asked. A glow lit his face. "He has! He's been on top all the time, taken the honors everywhere, and he stands to pull off the biggest of nil j now." "I should sny that was satisfactory," : she commented. Sold by Unio I Southern Ra | THIS GREAT RAILWAY RUNS 1 GREAT COUN' fi CONVENIENTLY UNITING ALL THE G OF THE SOUTH. I ' W. A. TURK. S. H. Fasaenfor Traffic Manager. General Washington, D. C. W. H. TAYLOE, Aaa l Gen'l Pass. Agei It- t???? ? i ' M - < * .r \ "Satisfactory! I'm chock full of pride! Rut I'm justified lu being proud. He graduates from C university?no little college, mind you?with the honors of his class, Why, with my money behind him he might be anything he chose anywhere. And what does he do but deliberately kick over his own prospects. Here I've been planning all sorts of things for him when he gets through travel, where and as long ns he pleases; marriage with the best when he's ready for it, and the young jackanapes has gone and engaged himself to a milk maid." "A milkmaid," she repented faintly. "Farmer's (laughter, he said, but they're all milkmaids. I suppose her dad raked up a little money and sent her to the university to take on some polish and take In some young idiot like Maurice. He's the star, and she couldn't do better, though she might And some with more money." "Have you seen her?" "No, nor want to either. I know how she looks; overgrown and coarse, with big red cheeks that he, the simpleton, ,calls 'roses of nature,' " lie quoted con- | lemptuously. "Ho can go to the farm with her and make a field hand for the old man, and I'll try to crawl out from the ruins. Jings, I wish I'd trained him in the business back there In Chicago!" lie struck the seat excitedly and went on: "Ho kept It from me till his last letter. I've been boiling ever since?110 In the shade. I came pretty near not going to the graduating fandango. and I've looked to it for years." "Then you are to be there tonight." she said. "That's what I'm on the road for. no spoke of my coming a day or so earlier, but 1 don't want to see him till afterward. It might not be good for his nerves, and I naturally want liiui to do his best before the public." "Naturally," slie assented, adding: "I'm going there too. I have friends In the class." "Why, that's all right," lie exclaimed. "We're strangers, and we'd probably each be alone. Why not sit together?" "Thank you, we will. It is kind of you to suggest It," she replied, hiding an amused smile. I?y exchange of cards they introduced themselves and had become very good friends l?y the lime they reached their destination. "Shall I call for you?" he asked at parting. "Oh, 110. thank you. Wo will meet in the hall," she returned, with a flash of repressed merriment. "Very good, young lady, but not quite so perfect as you suppose," he muttered, watching the slender figure flit away. When In unaccustomed and uncomfortable evening dress he was conducted to his seat he scarcely recognized her in the resplendent creature the center of an incense offering throng, but when he did lie breathed an "ah, ha!" of satisfaction, adding, with a chuckle: 'T see, I sec! Hut I think the little Joke will boomerang!" She detached herself presently and made her way to liim, murmuring an apology fo;* omitting to mention that she had attended 1he university the previous year. To his eager question she admitted that she had met Maurice. To his equally eager question concerning the milkmaid she hesitated uncertainly. Which was not strange, seeing that Mr. Sanborn had no name for her, the young blockhead having alluded to her merely as "a farmer's daughter, the girl of my choice." "I am sure that short, thick, homely girl is the one?the third from the end," Mr. Sanborn groaned. "Oh, perhaps not," she comforted, subduing a smile. "She's the one," lie assented as positively and aggressively as he had proclaimed the state of the weather. The opening exercises prevented further discourse. In spite of his heated resentment Mr. Sanborn swelled with pride at the overwhelming success of liis nephew and joined in the applause that called him out again and again. "He's pulled them off, as I told you he would," he boasted to the girl, who, with flushed cheeks and wet eyes, had burst her glove in expressing her approbation. "It would he glorious but for that beefy.erenture he's talking to," r Palpitation, Shortness of eath and fulness after eat rt use Ramon's Pills?they -e. Complete treatm't 25c n Drug Co. JLWAY WE RUN THE THROUGH A BEST VESTIBUlE TRi,NS AND HAVE THE &237SU best dining m service / i LIVER TROUBLES i "I And Thedford's Black-Draught rood medicine for lir?r disease. W It cnrod my on after ho had spent $100 with doctors. ItUallthemed- B Icine I take."?MRS. CAROLINE MARTIN, Parkersburg, W. Va. If yonr liver does not act regularly go to your druggist and secure a package of Thedford's Black-Draught and take a dose tonight. This great family medicine frees the constipated bowels, stirs up the torpid liver and causes a nealthy secretion of bile. Thedford's Clack - Draught will cleanse the bowfcls of impurities and strengthen the kidneys. A torpid liver invitee colds, biliousness, chills and fever and all manner of sick- fl ncss and contagion. Weak kid- 1J neys result in Bright's disease E? which claims a* N Mjauj ficviuio ira as consumption. A 25-cent ? Fackacre of Thcdford's Blackirauglit should always be kept in the house. i "I used Thodford's BlackDraught for liver and kidney comfiliints atKl found nothing to excel t."?WILLIAM COFFMAN, Marblchoad, 111. THEDFORD'5 BLACRjPRAUCHT1 he added, choking indignantly. Maurice got away from the congratulations at last and reached them, saying wllh outstretched hand. "Well, uncle, I hope you are satisfied with me." "Um-m?yes, pretty well!" his uncle granted, his eyes fixed significantly upon the thick, homely girl across the hall. Seeing which, Maurice said, with a sly glance at the girl beside him: "May 1 introduce you to my farmer's daughter, uncle? She's"? Mr. Sanborn broke In, exclaiming: "Why, I know the man she's talking with; done business with him! I'll just introduce myself and have it out with her tco!" he growled over his shoulder, slipping like an eel through tlw> rrnwii "Hood heavens!" Maurice cried aghast. "If lie should say anything impertinent to Miss Mlllionoss!" "Oh, Maurice! And she the president's niece! Ile'll say anything! Stop him; stop him!" the girl wailed. "Stop who?the thief?" n young man queried laughingly. _ Tlioy irailnl thttnigh tll0 tiuwtl in nil agony of apprehension. There was 110 pleasantry in the situation for them. Mr. Sanborn had arrived, shaken hands with the gentleman and was speaking to the young lady, who listened with serious attention. "Look at her! There'll be an explosion soon! Ob, why did we undertake the silly trick?" Maurice's companion moaned in his ear. His uncle beckoned urgently, preventing Maurice's reply. "I suppose you know my nephew and his milkmaid, the fanner senator's daughter," Mr. Sanborn said to the gentleman as the reluctant couple approached. Then he burst into a roar of laughter at the blank faces of the wilted young conspirators. Family Discipline. Dr. Tnckennnn, classmate of William Ellery (Jhunning, was one of Chan nine's few intimate friends through life. They were always extremely frank with one another anil sometimes gave each other sharp answers. On at least one of the recorded occasions, says Mr. John W. Chad wick in Ids life of the great preacher, Dr. Chaunlng came out ahead. Dr. Tuckerman on one of his frequent visits Inquired for Mrs. Channing and was Informed that she had gone to Newport to open the house for the summer. "Alone?" asked Dr. Tuckerman. Dr. Channing assented, and Dr. Tuckerman, responding, said: "Do I understand you to sny that Mrs. Channing has gone into the country alone to open the house for the summer?" "That is whnt I said, Dr. Tuckermnn." "Well, Dr. Channing, you will permit mo to say that I should not think of asking Mrs. Tuckerman to go to the country alone to open the house for the summer." Then Dr. Channing laughed his small, dry laugh and rejoined: "Very likely, Dr. Tuckerman, and If you should most probably she would not go." Thereupon questions of large public interest were immediately taken up. Aphasia and Amnesia. Aphasia is an affection akin to amaesin, both of them being the result of a disease of the cerebrum. But amnesia, or loss of memory, manifests itBelf in an Inability to recall events or words and in the latter case the substitution of wrong words in the place of those intended to l>e used. For instance, a brush might be spoken of as a comb or a dog as a glrnffe. There is no loss of the power of articulation. In aphasiu, or loss of speech, on the other hand, the sufferer is unable to utter any connected sentence. Ills speech is often the merest babble, with an occasional word interjected. He may understand what is read to him, yet be unable to reud?he may have, that is, "word blindness," or he may have "word deafness" and be unable to understand what la said to him. % - Humor and Philosophy By DUNCAN N. SMITH i f | Copyright, 1004, by Sampson-1 lodges Co. PERT PARAGRAPHS. Some smokers would quit if they thought the women of the bouse liked ?the odor of a cigar. A good dinner Is one that does not keep calling attention to itself afterward. About the only way to beat the trusts at tho game Is to develop a race that can live on scenery. Train up a child to arise at 6 o'clock in the morning, and as soon as he gets money he will lie in bed until 8. The way to And ont whether n slot machino is in working order or not is to drop a nickel in and see. It greatly improves tho flavor of a five cent cigar to tell the man you present it to that it cost two for a quarter. A tramp should enjoy a trip across Sahara bocause it is such a long way between oases. There Is no question but what the world la growing better. In some parts of the country they are sending aldermen to jail. In a few years old men will not have the snap they have today, for when they begin to talk about the cold weather of their boyhood some one win spring the records on them. "When a man is in love, you could not convince him that there is no place like home. Children get most of their habits by example from older peoples but how do they ever learn to tell lies? As soon as the canal is completed the isthmus will probably feel cut up about it. Before eating up the earth Japan should get out a tape measure and see for certain how large it ii. A man's position must be well established in the financial world before he enn nfford to eat a fifteen cent lunch. In these days ef the perfection ef the art of surgery one is almost led to believe that some men have had their consciences amputated. Some He Overlooks. Old Father Time gets out hie scythe And patiently starts mowing; He manages somehow to thrite And make a decent showing; But. though he Is a master hand. Alert, expert and willing, His weapon does not alwavs land The fellow who needs killing. The idiot who rocks the boat; The statesman who Is lying; The fellow who can't sing a note And will persist In trying; The man who handles dynamite And gayly koepa on smoking; The chump who rings you up _ t/iA at night And says that ne is jotting; ~TJ The man who tells a pointless Joke \ ^ 7N ^ ^ When you are ]} ) Tfi| : busy reading; I I \[ la LJ The fellow who Is l always broke . 1 And looks to f^A for feeding; The man who wanta to aell yOu books When you are short of mensy; The creature who your diamond hooks And thinks that he la funny; Tho man who slaps you on the back And says: "Hello, old fallow I It looked like rain, se I let Jack Take off your umbrella." But why make up a longer list Of those of doubtful rating? Is Father Time a humorist Or not discriminating? Up to Date. The harp that once through Tara's halls The soul of tnuslo shed Is silent, for the phonograph How grinds out tunes Instead. Hope Foe Him. "What profession Is your son following?" "He is'a Journalist." "Well, don't be discouraged. If he works hard he may grow into a newspaper man." I^AnTTfoThTTn 1/VU I UUIU Uli ing Di We are reo< supplies, and h Don't pay 26c pi by parties who 3 will be put in. | . will guarantee I Bailey Lumb ^^DR. I. M -PENl Crown and Bridge Work a Specialty. Found Hnjoyuient, The spirit of modern life Is to plunge into experiences vigorously nnd get the most from them. This was tlio spirit that animated the man who preferred tough beefsteak because there was more "eliew to it." Similarly virile was the attitude of Mr. Shillings, who had come to towu to order a new family j carriage. "Now. 1 suppose you want rubber tires?" said tlio agent. "No, sir," replied Mr. Sklllings. "My folks ain't tlujt kind. When we're riding we want to know It." Fashion Pint For Mother. "I don't pay much attentlou to bats," said Mr. Nason to his wife, "but I saw one on tbo train today that was very tasteful nnd becoming, nnd I thought to myself, 'I'll tell Sally about that hat, nnd perhaps she'll have one like It.'" "Ncrw describe It, Cyrus," said Mrs. Nason, her rubicund face alight with Interest and pleasure. "Since tbo girls married nnd went off there's been nobody to pay much attention to my hats." "Well," said Mr. Nason slowly, "It . was a kind of a curious shape, very : large nnd Hat on the crown, except ' that there was some sort of bunches sticking up here nnd there. The brim was wide nnd kind of floppy on one side, and the other side was tied back some wny in two places with some scarlet ribbon. I guess, come to think of it. 'twas what yon'd call magenta. Then there were flowers springing round the brim in different places, white nnd pink, and some sprays of green leaves that fell over the edge, nnd I recollect seeing some berries here and there. "But the best thing of all was a large white bow that waved around. It looked bo?so careless and easy. It Just gave the finishing touch." "I should think It wonld have." And Mrs. Nason's tone was dry enough to dishearten a less enthusiastic person. 'How old should you Bay the woman was?" "Oh, she wasn't exactly a woman? didn't happen to be?the one who had It on," said Mr. Nason Ingenuously. "She was?well, she might have been fifteen maybe."?Youth's Companion. Woodcoctt and Snipe. There la quite a long list of birds known as snipe, but the one most commonly regarded as the snipe la the Wilson snipe (Gallinago deltcata). There is only one American bird called TroodcwcK. Tlita (TUhrtitla minor") la entirely distinct from the various snipe, yet Is of similar appearance, from this resemblanee, or sntpellke appearance, the woodcock Is incorrectly named (or perhaps wo ought to say nicknamed) blind snipe, wall eyed snipe, mud snipe, big headed snipe, wood snipe, whistling snipe, etc. The various true snipe, the one woodcock (hot really a snipe, but resembling them) and various sandpipers that also have long bills and bore in the mud nil belong to one family (scolopacidm). All these birds have somewhat similar appearance and habits. They frequent lowlands or plowed lands, such as cornfields, where the soil Is soft, so thnt they can use their long bills iu probing for worms or insects, etc. The Wilson snipe is smaller, trimmer of figure and a better filer than the W VAAJ*.WR. Ol. I^ICUUIUB. A Dtrd Friendship. The rector of Woolstone, Mr. Gilbert Coventry, told me of a wild rock dove which one of his stable boys had reared from the nest. It slept in the open, however, and bad full liberty. Soon the good things on the rector's table attracted it, and It would appear through the open window at mealtimes, take hot soup with much zest and even sip sherry from a wineglass. At night .it often slipped In and slept in the rector's bed on its bnck under the coverlet One Sunday morning during the reading of the lesson the dove flew swiftly through an open window the church and settled on the rectoSs head. ! Broad smiles spread over the faces of j the elders and audible titters came 1 from the youngsters. A gentle touch sent the bird down to the edge of the clerk's desk below, where it sat undisturbed.?PaH Mnll Gazette. y Connections M one Dntii Yon ? ?iving a large stoop ave employed an ex sr foot for having ooni will be gone, when We are in the busine all work. er and Manuf; , H AIR.-&*"- 1 Office Bank Building I Union, 8. ,0 Stood by the Report*/. The Into George W. CfciTds, thd pre- j prletor of the Philadelphia Ledget, wrfa I a mon who supported his snbofdfttaUft 1 when they were tn fho right During ,l a bitter conStessloual campaign ons fi of tho candidate called npon . * Ghllds and said: f , "Mr. Olillds, t have always consld* red you my friend. Am 1 right A. that assumption?" / A \"Yes," said Mr. Ohllds In hie'quiet \ #~ way, wondering what was coming. "Well, 1 como to complain atKyutyouf political reporter. His report of my campaign have done mo much dam* age."' I "I understand," said Idr. Chllds, "that our reportor has been printing your own speeches. Is flint truef "Y-c-s," was tho hesitating reply. 'Then," said the^publlsher, *joU *re I the gnlity man. You are killing your own candidacy, and the Ledger Is slm- ^ ply giving a faithful plctnro of tfc*'* performance. Blame yourself and not the Ledger reporter." And that was all the satisfaction this Influential politician could get ffom the publisher. ^ Why Cat Apples Tarn Color. '" The rapid change of color In rut apples is due to chomicnl action on the exposed surfaco of tho apple after the free admission of oxygen and net, at was once supposed, to fhe presence of micro-organisms, for if apple palp Ik sterilized and Altered the same thing happens. The jnice of an apple ndt only contains water, sugar and various aoida, but a starch whleh ferments when exposed to the air. Lindet holds that the fermenting matter and the acids also are ih different colls In the uncnt apple, hut ajfh brought into contact as eoon he it is cut. This is, however, flot to fhe ^ 6s the fermenting matter eah only AS- ^ N tack the aromatic body ih the presence of oxygen. So long as fhe slrfn of the apple is whole no change eah take place, but Immediately this is wounded the oxygen begins its woit, ehrboa dioxide Is evolved, and the reddish brown appearance sets In, especially on unripe fruit. Why the Mexicans Call Ui Orlngs*. In the southwest, especially along the Mexican border, Mexicans are vulgarly called "greasers" by the Ameflma etrWboys and ranchers. The Mexicans hate retaliated by contemptuously referring to the Americans as "gringos, unconscious that they are using a M American origin first applied to themselves. During the Mexican war the army fit Santa Anna was composed men fly of Indian peons who eould neither shodt, drill nor light. To distinguish fhete JgtiV fnnt recrulta from the trained regfllajk the Americans called them "greenieh/* and the Mexicans, with their Laths * pronunciation, converted It hate iligt "greenos," then "gringos." Later fh0y applied it to those from whom they had first heard It. thinking it meant ttofflfeikt ? i_ 11 t a uuug wpeciau/ unu. Gunpowder Dafi, It is possible to weare a very attraetlvo fabric?as regards appearan?et,at least?out of ordinary gunpowder. tfna cloth looks very much like sift and when ignited instantly disappears without leaving a trace behind. The fabric is used for making bags to hold gunpowder, which In tlris Sbftpo are loaded into big guns. When the bags are of canvas, as It eorftemrrt, they are not consumed by fhe explosion, and what remains of them after firing has to be removed from the ponder chamber of the weapon, febt It gunpowder bags be substituted far aafitvns tlie sack actually becomes part, qf the explosive charge, and no trait of tt Is left after the shot has sped. Driven to Tt. "I've come to kill a printer," said tbe little man. "Abb r*ol ? ?? Hi ?r> uj j'u i uv.uiui ? ooacu the foreman. "Oh, any one mill dp! I would prefer a small one, but l*vt got to ftajie some sort of a show at fl$M or Hn home since the paper cqjled My WITrW tea party a 'swill affair.'" Me or Plumblee Us. -i '*< ' .. * 1 I ?T??? z of plumbVng1^ ?^ pert plumber, neotions made a a ^ a m me plumbing iss to stay ana "" ; acturing Co.