The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, December 18, 1903, Image 6
HELLO!
Santa ft V* i i
He
f 1 Santa
Welt Myrtle. Uncle .Santa, I am a littl
want to tell you wlieie you can get t \vr
for all the Rood little boys and girls and
know where to go anyway, for I sec yot
up yourself for Xnias. You know the
house in town where they keep < voryth
Dogs, ?Bears, Cows, Goats, Sheep and al
Carriages, Gocarts, all kin !- of ( 'bin ov.i
\r.- i
AJM.X , (llOVf llill U ill^ itHU <?* ? HI
Machines at >jiecial mln-ni jor !
Yes, Mjitle, ;lii.s is wl.t ic J atwajs
I want, at the
WONDEF
_l
HANDS
2
Excelsior K
Of I fnii
J J Fll' I V A?.7i'uVes o]
DRED Toppers, K
Finishers, ages from (i
^ wages at any and alio I
/all of which is nice an
.! we pay are much hig
; other hosiery mill in t
; We have young me
make from $25.00 to
We also want IT1
good Cedar Posts.
APP
J. H.GAULT,
1 (
I
Q (GLENN SPRINGS
0
Has a record ol over One
V'! successfully used l>v litem
U ment of nil diseases ol the
y all disorders resulting fr
H torpid liver, jaundiced sk;
\\ all forms of dyspepsia it is
W FOR BALK AT HO
))( For rates of board am
^ correspondence.
( THE GLENN
THIEVES AND OMENS.
I'rlniiiinls nn u Itulc \ re {he Slavrn
of Supers! i < ion.
Some of the !m<>'<t notorious eriminals
tvhn. It would hardly thought, pnid
tllO Slightest ,-ltteiltion to n111"!is, good
or bad, have the giv.i'ii-si faith in su
porstitions of all Id: b.
The burglar is a heliei or in the sU
ni flea nee of dreams and lias been
known to relinquish a big burgling feat
If a dream the night I ,n> waned
him that he will be in danger should he
disregard the \v:.rni::g. If he saw a
rainbow lie would eonsider it to pertrtml
flint !i?ii\ .* i'i ??l i .^ . ho lat
ho Is not likely t<? fall into tii<> hands
of Hip pollen for n spn<v of Iliroe
months, Burglars lave beeu known to
carry a donkeys sin in tin ir pot-lnt
before turning out. I?ej; ving that this
will protect them from (lander, while
others pin their I'aitli to a piece of coal,
which they will carry in their pockets
throughout th'ir career and afterward
bequeath it to a confederate.
The pickpocket is equally superstitions.
It is said h will nut rol? a person
who Squints, this being nccounit'd
n sign of disaster, and if it happens
that the purse lie robs contains foreign
coins it Is believed to augur that he
will travel a good ileal in tin; immediate
future, whether in the company <>t
n couple of otlb crs or not there is not 1:
ing to show.
Weddings ntul funerals are pregnant
with meaning for tin; professional thief.
To pick a pocket nt a funeral would l>r
to court Immediate disaster, whereas it
a purse stolen at ti wedding cniduint
gold It portend-- the bed nf le id_r
r/W 'v"" nc/Au/iv^n
1 livaHlLiSl J is biliousness
Complete Tr
Sold by Un
silo!
Claus! %
i piti, you ktsow, jus' light. umI I ji.
thing so cheap f.ir XMAs i'l{K>K\ r
grown up folks?though I know that y
i tli re r.cij time I go ther;* just loaiiin
WONI ?! >!{ STOl'K i; the only rral X
i"? for Xu.as, such as Toys, Monti;.:
1 kinds of animals, Tiains, Wagons, Do
ire. Albums, To lot Sets, et?* , etc.
i til Musical (?oials, Organs anil !\*v in
h. h -Inlays.
> (> 11>1 1 hi.ovv 1 cat' ii'ai a it o>? ai.ytiiin
i STORE,
IJ
" L_C
WANTED
3Y?
(titling Mills
on, S. C.
r about TWO HUNLnitters,
Loopers and
it Ho (35). to make good
[ the work offered by 11s,
d easy, and the prices
her than paid by any
he South.
n and young ladies who
$^5.00 each per monthVE
HUNDRED (500)
'l.Y TO
Treas, and IVlgr.
I I
i r
MINERAL WATER ?
t
Hun iie I years and litis hecn \
edictd profession in the treat- \
bladder and kidneys, and in
om in darial inf-'clion, with
in ami general debility. In /
invaluable. r
d.MKS' PI 1 A KM ACY.
1 other particulars we s- licit
V
SPRINGS CO.
the li:i r tlnrl!iir 1 h?> ensuing six month
Some pickpocket i have a fnvoril
pair of boo!.; that they woar as Ionic ,*i
they can keep them on their foot, an
If they arc not arrested while tlio.v at
wearing tliom lhoy out the boots u
into liltl" square pieces ami give thci
away as 'lucky tokens" to their pals.
,>l;e!o (lie < Million II.lilt I'll.
The tirst battle of Hi" war of 1 sl
was fought at Sacket's Harbor, .Inly !
lM'J, and consisted of an attack niad
upon the village. The inhabitants ha
but one gun of siltlieiei/t size nil
strength t<? inlliet damage, a "?'J poiim
er, l<?r wliirli they had no shot. Tlii
(iilliciili.v was overcome by tin' patrioi
ism of-the housewives, who tore u
carpels from the floors and with strip
wound the small halls to (it the cai
lion
l
Sliootinw; ( I'iK'iiil i ?* n li > lot in |il IkIi I
In the West Indies crocodiles are o
ten shot at night. The hunter, with
lantern, sits in a eanoo in one of tli
creeks which the crocodiles infest. Tli
crocodiles are attracted by the ligl
and swim toward the canoe. Their eyi
ahino out In the darkness and fori
i good targets for the hunter's hulleb
Sometimes a dozen crocodiles are six
in a night.
! <?? ( r y.
"Are you fond of poetry?" asked tli
young loan with curly hair.
"Yes." answered Miss Cayenne; "pi
elry lias done a great deal to make lit
' easier It gives people an oppnrtunit
t to use ipiotations instead of being orb
iMIIC! lit c 'line." I;\< 11:i litre.
id Stomach ends in a SICK I
E. The root of the trouble I
; the cure, Ramon's Pills. R
eatment, perfect cure, 25c. R
ion Drug Co.
/
Buy your Goods from
THE CASH 1AHCAIU j!UU
and save money.
(Jood heavy plaids, 6c value
our price, per yard ">e
(iood heavy Plaid, hig value
at 7 c, our price, per yd... 6c
Hoy's heavy lleeced lined
Shirts and Drawers, each 42-">e
?- Men's extra heavy Shirts
, and*Drawers, 7>Oc (juality,
our price, each 48c
The next MO days we will
sell our entire lot ot men's
* Pants at actual cost. Conic
!i at once while you can get your
ri/.e.
Mrs. D.N. Wilburn's.
The Vulor of Private Howell.
During the Indian mutiny, says a
London journal, it was sometimes in
battle almost impossible to tell our
loyal native allies from tin; revolted
enemy. At the relief of Luck now l'ri_
va,o llowell was near a loyal native
regiment that had. through too great
impetuosity and miseoneeptiou of order-;,
got to a position where it was
- mistaken for the enemy, and the whole
advance of the British army, amid the
smoke, poured into it an awful lire,
killing meat numbers of men. At this
moment Howell, wlm saw tliat the men
exposed were paralyzed Willi astonishment
and fear, rushed forward some
thirtx yards in advance of their line
and, throwing up his left hand warningly,
waved his helmet at the point
of his musket with his right. Hundreds
of bullets from his own comrades
w hizzed past him, two of-them
cutting his right arm. hut the daring
d I'd served his purpose, for the Krili.-h
oliieors saw what was intended.
No sooner had the "Cease fire!'' sounded
than the men, to be (lie moment after
again in the throes of battle, sent
tip a magnificent cheer lor llowell.
Od<l Tiling*.
The origin of the sentiment, "Old
wood to burn, old wine to drink, old
friends to trust, old authors to read." is
somewhat obscured, llaeon found Hint
Alonso of Aragon was wont to say in
commendation of ago that age appeared
to be best in these four thing-".
"" John Webster (l'!3S) wont further in
- declaring, "Old wine wholesomost, old
pippins lootlisomest," and that "old
wood burns brightest, old lineu washes
whitest." Goldsmith in "She Scoops to
J Compter" says, "OUl friends, old.times,
-s old manners, old books, old wine."
There are many variant quotations.
( Mncrriiilv'ii ((iiickiiCNit.
Hrander Matthews in a lecture on the
drama told of an incident showing the
rare presence of mind of William
\ Charles Maeready. According to Mr.
Matthews, he got the story from an old
man who saw Maeready far back in
| the forties.
111 it Mii|>iiMjiru scene mo ncior pacca
rl the "leek while the canvas representing
r| tin- sea was kept in motion l>.v tlie
wall ing henoath of men with half bent
t inidie's. The iliith had boon worn to
! thitinoss by dint of nmcli use. When
\ Maert'od.v came to the most impas i'l
sinned part of his monologue and tlie
J waves wore rising higher and higher
\ the audience was astounded to see a
C red head pop up through the crest of a
? v.'nv", The actor saw it. too, and for a
? moment lie looked a< if ho were disconeertci!.
but it was only fot; a moment.
liaising his voice, ho shouted:
'' "Man overboard!"
And this made the people cheer and
' prais*> Mact'eady all the more.
P
"I don't think wn coulil Vcop I
'' t! house without Thodford'o Illicit- H
d |i Draught. We have used it in tho gj
. y family for over two yrjirs with the p<5
best of ro?'ilts. I liavo i.ot hnd a t'
]. n doctor in ih<! house for that length M
9 of time. !i i.'a doctor in itself and LS
B always rca?.y to mr,l.-o a person well '
I ft and .lappy."?JAAIK3 HALL. Jack
K sonville, ill. r.j
a necauso mis great mecMCin? |
9 relieves stomach pains. free.s the H
H const >>::!< <1 bowels and in vigor- Kj
h ates t!i" torpid liver anil weak- E
ened kithiey3 ^
I Ho Doctor |
i is necessary in the home where n
'' S Thedford's Black-Draught is >>'
s H kept. Families living in the
II w country, miles froin any physis.
I rian, have lieen kept tn health I
>t j&i) for years with this medicine as B
; tlieir only doctor, Thedford's f\
Black-Draught cures bilious- ra
liess, dysjM-p^ia, colds, chills and
B fever, had bl<M?d, headaches, B
10 53 diarrhcra, constipation, colic
and aluiosi every other ailment B
1- S because the stomach, bowels
(. liver and kidneys so nearly con- n
v trol the health. 1
- ithedford's i
fen ? ffer
(THE GRAND
PROMOTER
Ptajor Crofoot Has JVo Heady
Cash, but Millions In
the Future.
[Copyright, 1P03, by C. B. Lewis ]
TIIL Gorman tailor had imulo a
timid call on Mnja' Crofoot,
grand promoter ami general
schemer, with u little hill for
repairs to a suit, niul as the major
received and glanced at the bill lie
saitl:
"My dear Mr. Schwarlzonhammor,
this bill is made out in a business way
and footed up correctly. It specifies
that I owe you IR) cents for services
rendered. I do not dispute it. On the
contrary, 1 admit the indebtedness and
will now proceed to discharge it and
show my gratitude at the same time,
t propose to take you into one of the
most gigantic schemes of the age with
lue and divide the profits."
"I like my !*) cent," replied the tailor
as he looked puzzled and perplexed.
"You shall have them, my dear man.
and millions more on top of them. Listen
to me. I am about to contract for
the entire huckleberry crop of next
year at 7 cents a quart and raise the
price to The est filiated crop is PS,quarts;
net profits, JfSbo.iKH.). A
clean, tidy business, with no tar or
grease to soil your hands and quick
returns on capital invested. No polities
or religion in it, and the public must
nave huckleberries no matter wliat the
price. Capital stock limited to $50,ou0
atul all shares nonassessable. Apply at
onee. All shareholders entitled to huckleberries
at contract prices. You shall
come in with me, and we will make an
even whack of expenses and profits. I
shall want $1<hi from you to help incorporate
the concern. Can you pay it to
day V"
"You?you mean I vhas to gif you
one hoonered dollar?" stammered the
creditor as his hair fairly stood up.
"Yes; that will do at present, provided
you want to make about $250,ono
during the next year. Perhaps, however,
you don't want to waste your
time on such small potatoes. If not let
me call your attention to another sure
thing strictly original with me. It is to
buy 20,000 acres of New Jersey marsh
lands and cultivate celery. The title ol
the organization is t<> he the Croat Unlimited
New Jersey Celery IS rowers'
association. Our capital will he limited,
but our celery will not.
"You can see for yourself what there
is in it. Twenty thousand acres at 8per
acre is $-10,000. Kaeh acre will
raise $00 worth of celery, making the
season's crop turn in $1,250.000. Say it
takes the $200,000 to pay for seed and
labor and sundries, and yet there is n
cool million to divide between us. Dou'l
Jf
-1 Piffi ^7?**
Li1^1?
"UNl> 1 no I NI) IIAF TFIltKR Tj VWSUITS OJ
vol'," HA 11) Till-; TAI LOU.
i lot this scheme got away from you, no
friend. Huckleberries may got sun
burned and the price come down, bu
celery takes no risks.
I "Certificates of shares will bo oul
next week, and you never saw linei
printing in colors. If you can brinj
! me in $150 this afternoon as your bail
: of llie expenses of incorporation am
blivillir linsUiiim siliiiimn i ..-ill i... .......1.
: to select the land and close a deal ncxi
I week. What do you say?"
"I?I don't understand her," repllcf
the tailor. "You owe me '.mi cent, bill
you don't pay."
"That is a concise statement of the
case, my dear Mr. Schwart/.enhaininei
? that is, I do not pay ready cash, bid
in place of it I offer you a fortune Ir
tlie immediate future. Perhaps yon
do not care to go into huckleberries
or celery? We all have our tilth
idioms, you know. Very well.
"I now call your attention to the
(Jrent American "Matrimonial and Trust
company. A person, either male 01
female, desiring to enter into the bond?
of wedlock calls at the other nnr
loaves name and particulars and pays
a fee of from S2.~? to to he uuar
nuteed. No sparking, no Jealousy, m
loss of time. Marriages brought a horn
within an hour if so desired. Parlies
afterward supplied with money ioi
the bridal tour and set up in house
keenioc mi tim in.ii.iii...1?
, ... .....i.II- III |ll.III. |!
positions most positively guaranteed
No fear of marrying it drunkard on tin
one Itniul or n blenehed blotnl on tin
other. Mothers-in-law kept nt o ss
distil nee or put out of tlie way entire
ly. livery marriage warranted fo<* lei
years if rules and regulations are live-.'
Up to. Are you entehlng on. n<>
friend "i"
' I bring In a bill for emit." replied
the tailor, "and you put him
down on dor desk."
".Fust so. nut let us eoptlnue a lit!*r
farther aim nee where our millions t|t?
eomlng from. TIpto are In the t'nited
b la tea at till* moment 478,245 mar
^-DR. I. M.
mDENTI
Crown and Bridge C
Work a Specialty.
riageable girls. Make the average foe D
$50, and you see what there is in It.
A dividend of at least 25 per cent can
he declared every year. Keep your eye
on this scheme until you can unload
mining and railroad stocks and come
in out of the wet. Certificates of ~~
shares will he put at .$5 cncli, so that
all can Invest. Divorces procured for
grass widows at reasonable figures and
without unnecessary delay. How do
you like it. my friend?"
"Don't?don't 1 get my 00 cent?"
asked the tailor in a helpless way as
he pointed to the hill lying on the
desk. O
"You do, my dear creditor. You get
it a hundred thousand times over.
That's what I'm working for. You
have *lsad confidence in my financial p^
integrity, and 1 wish to-prove my gratitude.
if you don't fancy what I have
mentioned why not join mo in my lit- *
tie Florida scheme and he able to buy
a national hank within two years?
"Ten thousand acres of swamp lands
can ho bought in Florida for $1 an
aero. i-.acn aero win lunnsn pasture
ground for 12.0(H) frogs. At one year __
old oacli frog will soli right tlicre 011
tlio ground for a dime. That is, ids {
hind logs will, while (lie rest of ids
body ran ho fod to 10,000 ducks and
goose being raised for market at the
same time. No machinery to get out
of order about this scheme. Requires ?
no ice in summer and no cold storage
in winter. Capital stock only $23,000
and monthly dividends of r?0 per cent
guaranteed. Hound to go with a jump
?hound to. Cannot he consolidated | j
with any gas company nor sold to an | f()]
Knglisli syndicate. Title not yet selected.
tint will probably lie the Croat
Southern Cmg and fowl Raising company.
Trustees holding funds for orphans
are asked to look into tins : <t?.
scheme for richness. Can you bring [
me " T." by i o'clock tins afternoon as pj
your share of U.ie preliminary ex- oa,
iiia V" ~
"I'y Hinder! Ry tnnder!" gasped
1 th tailor as he walked about with the
per miration standing out on his face. **
"Von are a hard man to suit, but I j 11)
still have something to offer you," placidly
<oiitinucd the major as lie looked | OC
for and lighted the stub end of a cigar, j c<?
"I 'm you want to make money j
enough in a week to buy the earth? ; ?
All right. Rring ine in $A>0 by toniorrow
110011. and I will admit you as an j
equal partner in my latest and per- I
Imps most profitable scheme. It is to
seize Canada some dark night and sell ju
1 her to the Cuited States. The capital ()t
1 required is only $300,000, and Uncle .)t
Sum would Jump at an offer to pny
sr.ti.ut o.Onn cash on the nail. Clear [
hniltl iii t? M'/?n!.' 00 e ".Af? I
?? ? ? t i\ */i r>w, J
Wanted?A lirst class seizer who is not I
afraid of work and has had some ox- I
porionce in seizing countries. Apply "
at the olhco of the Groat American
Seizor company. Canada is right over jf
there, wailing to bo seized, and UnclAfc
Sam is right over hero, waiting " to
buy. You might run somo littlc/^rlsk
In frogs, but this thing is spiketfj down
and can't got away. fl
"My dear Mr. Sehwartzei^hnmiuer,
come in with me?come in / out of the
dampness. There is a chanr(ce to shove
millions down your hind ) pocket and
o cliancc to fail. Shakesp/i!>are says"? 1
"I like to know if I get Any DO cent?"
interrupted the tailor wit\xh many ges- ^
t ures.
"I have still one inoi>u> scheme"? ^
began tlie major as he wfciked around
the room, but his creditor#cried out:
"1 vhas oop here mit a I bill, but j*ou '
don't pay him!" \
f "As I was saying"? I
"l.'nd you cheat me!" \ j
"As I was saying, my friend"?
"L'nd you vhas some deail^bents, und
t 1 go uiul haf three lawsuits oW^youl"
The tail< r nourished liis ari.<N* and
' looked liis indignation and disgusn^nnd
stalked out of tlu* room, and the gr.\nl
' promoter looked after him and sigh \|
' and shook his head and said to I '
l i. i mi- 1
I sell: d
"I would have made a ltothf^,jlll(j of \
1 him within a year. but. alas,4\c. jH Wed- ! I^
ded to liis goose." , QUAD. j
L Wli?l I* Needed.
The l'oet?Tiie editor said my poem i 1
? was fairly good, but it lacked wnrmtli. | I
Can you suggest anytliing?
t Critic?Yes. Here's a match.?Philu- j j
1 dclpliia I.odger. I 71
i 3
i A Wnv T !....
lie?I had no Idea that tills was the $
most expensive restaurant In town. aj
She?What makes you think it is? ^
t 1 lie?Didn't you choose it??Detroit
" Free Press. j
1 Mark Mai*.. ^ |
AB>ffr?mMQ
I j ?New York Times. A
i ~ ^ |bi
ft (
i 1AIR,^)fflce
Bank Building %'
Union. 8. 0
>r. Alexander S. Foster*
Surgeon Dentist,
>NESVILLE, SOUTH CAROLINA.
Rooms over J. F. Aiiuan's Store.
CROWN TORRENCE. M. 0.
Office Hours: 5'.f?5o.V30.*,.S:
Special attention to diseases" of
jre, Ear, Nose and Throat. 2f>-8m
CAIFE & HAMBLIN,
-VATTCRNEYS AT LAWV,
aster Building, Union, S. C.
I. CLOUGH WALLACE.
A m run-aY rt TT ? m A
JtY X UJCVJN JCj X AX JL.A W .
Room 12 up stairs Ft) Ut Raiding.
% r
3. MEANS BEATY,
ATTORNEY AT-LAW.
o. .3, Law Range.
Money to Loan.
I have money to loan in amounts of
00 and upwards on improved farms
7 per ceut interest. No comission
except a reasonable attorney fee
r preparing necessary pai?ers. *
39-1y. V. K. DKPass.
To Cure a Cold In One Day
ike Laxative Hromo Quinine Tablets.
II druggists refund the money if it fails
curp. E. W. Grove's signature on
chhox. 25c. 6-ly
R'l'P'A'N S Tablets doctors
id a good prescription for
ankind.
The o-cent packet is enough for usual
casions. The family bottle (00 cents)
ntalns a supply for a year. AH drug*
it seli them. tf
Totice to Trespassers.
All persons are foih'ddf.n to trespass
1 any of the lands known as the John
cKisaick place, either by walking, rider,
hunting, fldting, cutting timber or. j
herwi.se, and for each
m urn imi 'ilB1 lie
4*-*' J^rTKv-ANSfj,i
B0BJmCT0RS'%\
aLbuilders'> \ :
MILL SUPPLIES. N
Ocartage, Iteet_> *?, OitauH MM Ofe|? \
?4 JwtoVtntoki, *?MM
K-j* B?'r?
arc*.* JtaMV P*v Matt fwfci IMnff.
wMBIRD IRON VGRKSI SUPPLY Ml
?4
<<2
'bis signature is on every box ot the genuine
Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablet*
be Teipedv that care* n cold In one day
to write for our confidential letter before ap-l
plying for patent; it may be worth money. I
We promptly obtain U. 8. and Foreign I
PATFMTC I
I
and TRADE MARKS or return EN" I
TIRE attorney's fee. Send model, sketch!
orphoto and we send an IMMEDIATE
FREE report on patentability. >Ve give!
the best legnl service and advice, and oar
charges are moderate. Try us.
SWIFT & CO.,
AK Patent Lawyers,
jpjl^U.S. Patent Office,Washington, D.C.
I In every town- II
L and village II
may be had, H
tbe I
U\ Miea
fIFw ^x'e
v* fSifaooA H
I?8H GH9V
that makes your ||
horses glad.
)r. R. M. Dorsey,
Specialist
) (licenses of the EYE nnd EAR
?and?
OPTICIAN.
Successor to II. R. Goodell.
lexander's Music Ilall, Spartap
urg, S. C. 47-11?.
/