The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, July 10, 1903, Image 6
The GRAND
PROMOTER
His Laundress Calls and A"\&K?s
a Collection*
MAJOIt CltOrOOT, grand promotor
of all sorts mul comllttotis
of schemes ami enterprises
to better his financial
condition, entered his olllco the other
moriiiii);. leaving the door open behind
liltn. He had scarcely hung up his
bat when a woman stood before him.
Like a tlasli of lightning he recognized |
his old time laundress?the old time
wfion she used to do up his shirts and
trust him for pay?and he realized that
she had hunted him down at last and
meant to collect a bill of about $5.
One thrill shot through him, and then
he was as cool as Ice.
"Madam, were you looking for the
photographer or the corset makerV" he
queried.
"No, sir," she replied; "I am looking
for Major Crofoot, and I have found
him at last. Don't you remember
me?"
"Heally, now?why, really"?
"Don't you remember me?"
"Is it?can it be? is it possible tbat
'you are Mrs. Stubbing?"
"I am Mrs. Stubbins. I am tlie woman
yon bent out of $4.80 for doing
your laundry. I bavo boon 011 your
trnil over a year, ami I liavo run 3*011
to earth at last. I want my money."
"Well, well, well!" exclaimed the
major as lie held out his hand for a
shake. "Mrs. Stubbins, I nib thrice
glad to see 3*ou. Only yesterday I sent
4 out to Dakota to try to find where
you were located. You don't know
how often I have thought of >*ou and
your kindness to me. For months and
months 3*ou were like a mother to me.
And have you Just come 011 from the
west V"
"Blarney!" she answered as she drew
herself up and pointed a linger at
him. "I am no longer a trusting, confiding
laundress, but I have gone on
the stage mm got my eyes opened, i
nm no longer Mrs. Nancy Stubbing,
but Miss Kosnlle Cat heart, ('alt iff,
come down with the shekels or I will
make it torrid for thee."
"And so you have gone on the stage?
By (leorge, what a coincidence?what
a coincidence! I have a three act play
right here in mv desk and was wondering
where I could tind a woman
to take the leading part. You have I
Just the right tlgure?you look the I
part?your fortune is made. Bight J
here, without going any further, I offer J
you .$100 per week to take the role.
__ As I remarked before, what a coin
AM LOOK I NO TOU MAJOIt CTIOFOOT."
Mrs. Stubbins as sho balanced on or e
foot. "I mu here for flic oof. Prod (lce
or got ready for a dull thud."
"Hy George. but what talcu' v_whnt
acting!" whispered the raa.l' ov as i,c
gazed in admiration. "S' ir.,\, n<>rnbardt
isn't within forty ro(ls of you.
I've got *20.000 ready ' t) put my play
on the road an l niaf , you tll0 brightest
star in America p you*n come in
this afternoon I' (l" ,mv'e ft contract
ready for you ..t?.
.. iu ?iK?. iuii ii carry
the count ry b* . ?
.... , storm.
Mcreuno. , . ,, ,
..... _. ^ liast thou the rhino?my
little !?4 SO , ,, ., . . .
I call upon thee to hand
It over, ' , ., ., . . ...
.. .mi if thou ilost not then may
the eo* , ,, ,
head' '^'Muences be upon thine own
' i'oii mean that little balance?
r or. I'll pay, of course, but that will
come later. 1 think I can make your
salary $12o per week, and I'd like to
begin the rehearsals at once. I'm also
willing to advance you $.">00 for any
stage wardrobe you may need. Can
yon come in at 2 o'clock?''
"At 2 of the clock Mercurio
wouhlst engage me," mused Mrs. Stubbins,
with her finger on her nose, "but
I know the artfulness of man and
cannot be bamboor.led. Tad him stand
forth like a man and pay me that
which lie owest, and later on I will
nnswer him."
"Perhaps i eould make it S1.V) per
week." said the major as lie toyed
with Ids wateh chain. "Yon grow hotter
and better. I don't want to make
you egotistical, but Mary ^Anderson
couldn't bold a candle to you. I'll have !
Villi- .1.1-1.? ? . I-'-.l ----- *
..i. . iwiii ixjuauia/.oo to ivniKiy :
witlilii n year. Your role is tragedy, I
and you want to stick to It. Shall wo !
say 12 o'clock? I want to get tho con- !
tract signed and hire a hall."
"My answer to thee, Mercurlo, is
* this!" hoarsely whispered Itosalla as
she reached out and seized the major's
coat collar and almost broko his neck
as she gave a sudden yank. j
"Hero?hold on: You are becoming ,
a little too strenuous. As I said be- j
fore, the trifling balance between us ^
will lie paid, but lot us"?
"Mercurlo, thou must cough up now r
I 4
aqj^p???MMiiMMMM?
Vf? J' we $J fiMre^HrnGK
^ %4 ^?sts ^cents
?^0r nail 25 reata to C. J
Wo hivo handle J Dt. Molhtt'a TF.KTHIXA (Tccthinc
nnd trade es a pmprietnTy medicine, nnd our trade In it hi
now amount to t.voorti ro? hundred ?ro?? per year, which is
la civir.z I Ihe t;v>thers of the country, far they ?ay nothim:
tiot sun or urerc ontoa so oaicklr the troublee incident ta lect
THR I.AMAI
nnd here. Canst thou not realize?dost
tliou not sec?that I nut no longer the
humble laundress of tlw washboard
nnd ihe tint iron, but tin actress who
has traveled and met up with the Artful
Dodger? With one hand I grasp
thy eoat collar and with the other thy
luxuriant locks, antl prltliee, Mercuric"?
"And what do you want?" j.
"My oof. thou man of tricks." 4
"You shall have it this afternoon."
"Talk not to me of time, Mercurlo,
but place the ducats in my hand without
delay."
"And you'd sacrifice an engagement 1
nt $130 per to get $4.SO?" he indignantly
demanded as Mrs. Stubbius held him
with an iron grip.
"I wouldst, Mercurlo. nnd therefore
let us waste no more time. Shouldst.
T r*1ni?>li inv ntliiit* Yioiwl in iliv Ini'Lq I
" * "* " * * ? I
tliou mayst be numbered with the bald- j
heads." J
The major paid. It took the last i
cent he had. but lie handed it over and [
heaved a sigh of relief as Mrs. Stub- |
bins loosened her clutch.
" "i'is well." she said as she counted
the sum. " 'Tis well. Mereurio, and
now I go hence to my playfellows and
tell them that the Artful Dodger is !
happy no more. Farewell?again farewell."
The major stood aiNl looked after her j
with rueful eountenavnce. When the
echo of lieu footsteps lind died away he
said to hit'iself:
' Mereurio was a blnkned fool, and I
am dit.ro." M. QUAD.
A ,Short Tale Jn
Title Lilt Ik: Chapters i
chapter i.
T.lttle Elsie? Don't yoti think my I
PH >a is a very nice nan?
'Little Alice?Yes; lie must be. Maul- |
Out says she thinks he's the nicest man i
she ever met. ^
\ .
chapter ii- i
Little Klsle (at home)--Oh. mamma,
; Alice told me this morning that her
i mamma said she thought tmy papa the
l nicest man she ever met! .
I Elsie's Mother?!!!!! |-k
[ chapter iii.
Alice's fiitlior ir?u > .iira?..f - wi
.1 UI1VIVC) ^
\ \
CHAPTER V.
Elsie niul Alice (in chorus)?Well,
well; a pretty moss we've made of It.
Ami all 1 iccuusc we couldn't keep our I
nasty little mouths shut.?Walter Tu- j
Utzcr in New York Times. % v j
The Story. ^ ^ ^
!
L i. i -l
' I used to be a great hand for flsh- I
Ing when I was >nour ago, Bobby."
"Well, i s'poso I'll have to take your I
word for it. but $*nu sure have forgotton
a whole lot about tlshin' since that '
time."?New York American.
Cnmc r^r Jo)-. |
"My darling, what delights you so?
What is it that fills yrtwir eyes with the 1
glad light of happiness and"? I
"Oh, Theobald, Just think! Cook is
going to remain with us after all! Mrs. j
(Joodparty. for whom s?ie was going to
work, dropped dead last night. Oh, ?
wasn't it Just too swjeet of her? And,
you know, I had always fancied she
disliked nie!"?Town Topics.
lie Wnnlil He l.urlty. i
Hi Tragedy?Ves, I'm with Illgstnr'3 <
company now. I get a hundred a week. .
I .owe Comedy?Say! You'd be in (
luck if you only got the difference. '
Hi Tragedy?'The difference? What
do you mean? ,
Lowe Comedy?The difference be- t
tween what you get and what you say
you get.?Philadelphia Press.
!
Of One Kind. ,
"You didn't have any luck?" she snid
inquiringly when be returned from ids J (
fishing trip. i j
"None at all," lie admitted. j (
Then she got a whiff of ids hrenth.
"No wonder," she commented. "You I ,
must have taken all the bait your- I ?
self."?Chicago Post.
?????? 1
.Married 1,1 fe.
Lorott?You don't believe in divorce
then?
Hnyter?No, sir; I've got too much
snortiii' blond.
Lovett?What has that to do with it 1 (i
Haytor I bolievo In a fight to the tin ,j
Ish.?Catholic Standard and Times. j.
a
Nfhhfr. V
Sergeant of Pollco (to captuin)?Thil ?
'ellow is charged wld klllin', sor-r.
Captain (entering the charge)?Well, '
vhoin did lie kill? Man or woman?
Sergeant?Nayther, sor-r. It wuz a ^
'ayiualo impersonator. ? New Orlonni
Clmes-l'euiocrat. I*
IJ
!TTrg Carss Cbolera-inTanium,
VPQpWHV I Ditrrhoe.t.Dysen'. c: v, and
tjg S WS the Bowtl Troubles cf
NVjJne^S/B3Ai<$* D^otlon,
iTTilSnSJHnS the Bowels, Strengthens
at Drpggislr, 'tcctIing ^
. MOFFETT. M. D.. GT. LOf!'J, MO.
ATI.*\TA. <#. *., Not, I!'. I;'.'.
Powder*) ercr ?!nr* ltill'?llntri?lnet:<"i t.i Oii |uMtl
is nt-MKlily IncrrssM : jrr.*r lijMf ui.t t our or ton
i\T?ry atronTBTidcncr -f its ruert!a:t.| t'iouti.?( c>l<? It
: 11 rlTrctUilty cour.ln et? tin eilc. ;a -,f tin; mnicii;')
Ulna.
it ft p.axktn nnro o<\. wi,0i->-?? i?...
New Scholarships for Men
Teachers at the South
Carolina College.
(.'It-line from Appropriation Act of CMLcral
Assembly, 1903:
"That one thousand six hundred and
forty dollars he appropriated to.be used
to provide forty-one scholarships In the
Normal Department, one front each
< ounty, of the value of forty dollars,
besides the remission of tuition and
matriculation fees, the beneficiaries to
be selected under regulations to be prescribed
bv the Hoard of Trustees."
This means $10 in cash to the student,
besides remission of $40 tuition and of
$1S rAatriculntion term fee. Thus the
scholarship student will receive from
the College $r> a month for eight months
to assist him in his necessary living
'expenses.
HKOri.ATIONS BY THE BOARD.
1. Applicants shall be young men at
least nineteen years of age. The purpose
of the General Assembly being to
encourage men teachers, preference
will be given to those who furnish satisfactory
evidence of having already
taught for at least one session, and
with success; but if from any county
'there be no suitable applicants who
have taught, the scholarship of that
county may bo awarded to a young
man who only intends to teach.
2. Applications shall be made to the
President of the College, at Columbia,
before July 1st, upon prescribed blanks
furnished by the President or by County
Superintendents of Education, upon request.
These blanks shall provide for
information and references as to the
applicant's age, physical condition, genoral
character and ability, educational
advantages, financial circumstances,
teaching experience, and purpose in
taking the special normal course. The
information thus submitted will be regarded
as n preliminary examination,
and those who receive permits to stand
the later examination will be credited
with the combined results of these two
examinations.
3. The later and formal examination
shall be upon English Grammar and
Composition, History and Geography,
Arithmetic and Elementary Algebra.
/Algebra, however, is not indispensable.)
The Normal Scholarship Committee
of the Faculty sha^ prepare the
questiohs and mark the papers. The
County Board of Education of each
county is requested to conduct this exj
.imination at the same time with tht
, entrance and other scholarship exam'
inutlons of the South Carolina College
and of Winthrop College (which this
year will bo on Friday, July 10th). The
County Bexirel will ree-elve the questions
from the President of the College, ant
is requested to return the answers t?
ships appointed from the BoardTlJT con
from fie wV,lhl.a "tand,nK Committe.
from the Faculty, shall select the schol
urshlp students for each county upoi
norie'ri ^tho examinations rc
ported by he Faculty Committee. nne
| the other information submitted
! nie proper announcements shall Ik
i tniade through the President.
After the first year the incumbenl
V '''appointed, provided that, in
Judgment of the Faculty, his aptness
to teach, his nrorress tn
| nn<l liis general character indicate that
he is a suitable person to fulfill the
purpose of the scholarship as provided
/ox by the Oeneral Assembly.
Children's lllnnders.
A Philadelphia schoolteacher tells of
these blunders of children in physiology
examination papers:
"Occupations which are injurious to
the health are carbolic acid gas, which
is impure blood."
"When you have an illness it makes
your health bad, as well as having a
disease."
"A stone mason's work is injurious
because when lie is chipping he
breathes in all the little chips, and then
they are taken Into tlie lungs."
"All mechanical work Is injurious to
the health."
The word "function" seemed to puzzle
the children tremendously. Questions
containing that word were answered
ns follows:
"The skin disclinrges a function ended
perspiration."
"The function of the heart Is between
tlie lungs."
"The heart's function is called thorax."
?Grnitt'n I.nek."
I di<l not go out to see the surrender
of General Leo. I remember well the
event of General Grant's return after
nil- surrender. i think there were not
more tlinn three persons present when
the general came In and took a seat at
a table to write, tie looked tip with
snnte expression of animation and rema
rked:
".More of Grant's hiek!"
This was an allusion to the newspaper
critics who had been in the habit of
calling Ills success luck.
This little comment on the surrender
>f Lee was the only word of exultation
I ever heard from the victorious soltier.
It was a very slight expression of triiiupli
to follow such a stupendous
icl.ieveuieht. bill wholly characteristic.
-Natlo al .Maya::!ne.
A ^urgirul Operation
s always danger-us -do rot submit to
he huikcoii'm knife until yon have tried
ieWitt's Witch Hazel ??'?> T* " ll
lire when everything else fails?it has
one this in thousands of easts. Here
i one of them: J sulTeied from bleeding
nd protruding piles for twenty years,
fas treated by different specialists and
serl many remedies, but obtained no
plldf until I used Do Witt's Witeb Hazel
alve. Two boxes of this salve rurcd
le eighteen months ago and 1 have
ot had a touch of the piles since.?H.
. Tinsdale. Snmnierton, S 0. For
lind, Bleeding, Itching and Protruding
ilea no remedy canals I)eWitt's Witch
azel fcJalvo, Wold by F. Cj Duke,
A Mnroln Jokr. I
Ono of Lincoln's visitors in the early j
(lays of his administration says:
"lie walked Into tlio corridor with
us, and. as he bade us good by and
thanked for what he had told him,
ho again brightened up for a moment
nnd asked him In an abrupt kind of
way, laying his hand as lie spoke with
a queer but not uncivil familiarity on
his shoulder, 'You haven't such a thing
as a postmaster In your pock#*!, have
you V
" stared at him In astonishment
and I thought a little In alarm, as If he
suspected a sudden attack of insanity.
Then Mr. Lincoln went 011: 'You see. it
seems to be kind of unnatural that you
shouldn't have at least a postmaster J11
your pocket. Everybody I've seen for
days past has had foreign ministers
and collectors and all kinds, and I
thought you couldn't have got in hero
without having at least a postmaster
get Into your pocket.' "?"The True
Abraham Lincoln."
Knormnoa Stronarfh of Mnnhroomii.
A curious Instance of tlio wonderful
force exerted by growing vegetation is
related in the Gardeners' Magazine.
This force seems all the more remarkable
when exerted by light and unsubstantial
mushrooms, but does not appear
so extraordinary when caused by
the expansion of a hard wood tree.
Some half liardy annuals were sown in
a frame Just cleared of a winter crop
in the gardens of an English park and
the lights closed to hasten germination.
Some days afterward signs of cracking
were observed in the brickwork, and
gradually a block weighing in the aggregate
one nnd one-half hundredweight
was pushed out of position.
After cutting out several bricks a mnss
of mushrooms was found 3 pounds C
ounces In weight growing in the centei
of the wall. The mycelium had rm
freely in the mortar and on the Innei
face of the bricks.
Just About llcdtimc
lake a Little Karlv ltiser?it will run
constipation, biliousness and livei
troubles. De Witt's Little Early lliseis
are different from other pills. They dc
not gripe or break down the mucoui
membranes of the stomach, liver am
bowels, but cure by gently arousing tin
secretions and giving strength to thos(
organs. .Sold by K. C. Duke.
Royalty anil Ctienn.
Cards have been the amusement ol
kings and queens for centuries, super
| seding latterly the royal game of chess
which lilled up the leisure moments o
William the Conqueror, Queen Eliza
both and Charles 1. The litter was si
I absorbed in ids favorite pastime whei
i the news reached him that Scotlntu
1 had determined to sell him to the Eng
] lish_ parliament that, though wel
; Queen Victoria tUM '!
cards, though during her old age sh
i found diversion by playing "patience.
A keen chess player, the great Nape
leon would not submit to be beater
I and if lie round ids skill ineffectlvi
would throw board and chessmen an
grily on the ground.
Moderation In Rierclor,
Exercise which is well within tin
powers of the body is salutary for nl
and probably necessary for some, bu
exercise by which those powers ar<
overstrained Is too often not only th<
precursor, but quite unmistakably tlx
cause, of serious illness or of bodily oi
iihmiuii iniuire. "Wiiy." inquired Sala
<1 i 11. "should the weal; display his Infe
riorit.v in the presence of tlio strong?"
The question is as pertinent in our own
day as it was in that on which it was
uttered.? I.ondon Hospital.
The Place to Knock.
"It will come out all right In time,'
he told his wife. "Fortune knocks nl
every man's door once, and some day
she'll knock at mine."
"It won't help you any." returned his
wife. "If fortune wants to lind you
she'll have to go to tlie club and send
in her card." - Chicago I'ost.
II a row threatens you don't let it go
so far that you become hitter and are
willing to hurt yourself in order to
hurt your enemy.?Atchison C J lobe.
The Voutulalion of Health.
Nourishment is the foundation of
health?life?strength. Kodol Dyspepsia
Cure is the one great medicine that
enables the stomach and digestive organs
to digest, assimilate and transform
all foods into the kind of blood that
nourisho* the nerves and feeds the tissues.
Kodol hiys the foundation of
health. Nature does the rest- Indigesti
>n, Dyapepsia, and all disorders of
the stomach and digestive organs are
cured bv the use of Kodol. Sold !by
F. C. Puke.
Norwegian Cnrt* For DrnnkrnnrM.
In Norway drunkenness Is punished
by imprisonment. As soon as a man is
incarcerated Hie delinquent has a loaf
and wine morning and evening. The
bread is served in a wooden bowl full
of wine, In which it has been soaking
for an hour. The first day the drunkard
swallows his allowance willingly
enough. The second day It seems less
pleasing. At the end of eight or ten
days prisoners have been known to abstain
altogether from the food thus pitilessly
presented. This course of treatment
finished, the drunkard, except In
rare Instances, is radically cured.
The Sir Politician.
"XTM... * "
t. 11; uon i you m"Ke ft pinln,
straightforward statement nbout
whether or uot you menu to be n en ml Idate?"
"What's tl>e use?" answered the prudent
politiehin. ".lust nt present tho
only thing tnnt's keeping nie before the
public Is the doubt on that question."?
Washington Star.
'1- ?? ? .
i 1
Dfflce Bank Building
Union* 8. O
walk
)ES OF X
p Tit iiiiiiii eitnin I
?^imuiL tiHriiTl
? "The Largest !
Manufacturer of I
Fertilizers on Earth" I
Forty odd 1
\ Manufacturing plants f
^DR. I. M.
! m -DENT
Crown and Bridge <
Work a Specialty.
i ?
-v >* J> ? ii
CRACK GOES THE Wl
i IN COME THE ORDE
1 fe?apaWiM(tai
r:ci.l5 the very best grai
FERTILIZERS
AT the very lowest c<
I It piys to fertilize your lands *
THE VIRGINIA-CAR0L1NV
CHEMICAL COMPANVJ&
, PRODUCTS. (
tVj?RYWHERE|
The Virginia-Carolina Chemical Co.
1 CHARLESTON. 8. C.
1
Pleased to flake 1
, Of laundry f'j U gj
1 woi k. j&M .,j&
' ii0tvlb0^ Ti' p^fQs
not seek to a})r
preciate te$| f^TTIHpT
t PERFECTION! iMliiUll
I THE U-NEED-A S
II
e Surpassin;
?, who like well Jauiufei
? MILLING done at tl
? 18~4t JACOB
AW . THE Ltt
i ^R?es
ON THE 5UMM
SOUTHERN ?
?Complc
TlJEI Mailed
^Railway w.a.t??.
^ Pass. Traffic Mgr.
WASHINGTON, D.C.
A BIT OF PANTOMIME. [
Max O'Rell'a Opinion of Foar F*roplri
Given In Gesture*.
"When Max O'ltell cninc to Montreal
some years ago," said n man from that
city to a Detroit Journal contributor, -i
"wo fixed up a little Joke on him. We |
had noticed how grncefully ho could
unite a caustic criticism with a compliment,
a faculty that enabled him to ?
say the sharpest things without offending
the people he was criticising. We
were going to put the facility to a test. .
"We had him lunch with us, and ^
there were at the table besides himself I
an Englishman, n Scotchman, an Irish- _
man and a French-Canadian. When !
we got our guest off his guard wo denuuuled
an honest opinion of the differj
ent races we represented. As tho opinIon
had to be given in the presence of |
nil ffint* !*** ? *
...v- nniiuiioii ior 111111 wan n 1
rather delicate one. l.ut It no\#r seemed
to trouble lilm, and bo gave Ills opln- pc
ion without a moment's hesitation. br
" 'The Scotchman,' he said, and ho cr
clinched his right hand tightly and on
protomlod to try to force it open with St.
ids loft. 'Tho Englishman'? and ho rui
went through tho same performance,
opening the hand at tho end after an | f
apparent struggle. 'The Irishman'? p8
and ho held out his hand wide open, ftI1
with Iho palm upward. 'The French- nic
man'? and he made a ^motion with ^
both hands as If he were emptying
them on the table. H
"There was not a word of cxplunn- H
tlon, hnt we nil understood thoroughly H
and had a hearty laugh. Max O'llcll K
hud maintained his ropututlou." E
"~v^^ Wholesale purchasers
Largest importers
v Concentration of
Management
i 1
the Acquaintance
Not how
quickly we can
And by urceas
Jl mSJ ing effort ?nd
PR My /fl rW ^mProvec^ mK^li"
j /J j Y ods we bave
J ^Lf II made the work
** done at
TEAM LAUNDRY
gly Good.
^ - hmiaekeepera and all lliore
ren shirts antrcoiiars.
lie same old stand*
RICE.
IE FOR BUSINESS,
IE FOR PLEASURE,
IE FOR ALL THE BEST
ER RESORT5 t
te Summer Resort Folder
Free to Any Address. J
S. H. Hardwick, W. H.TAVLOB. t
Cen'l Pass. Agent, Asst. Gan'l Pais. Act. .
WASHINGTON, D.C. ATLANTA. OA. _ 1
BRICK! BRICK!' BR1CKII1
For ?ale in any \
quantity. t
'he Rodger Brick Works.j
TOR SAUK CHEAP'
One 15 II P. Boiler and Engine (doiched)
one Brick KBching, 20,00C
?ily capacity. i
he Rodger Brick Works.
Life and Accident Insurance.
Tho Aet.t n Life Insurance writ eel
iliciea not onlv for l i?? *?
_ , .... ...?u i uueiunil
it also policies that protect you in?
se of accident or sickness. Thel t
iy Old Line Company in the Unltecl 9
wtos to do this. Kates are verj|
isonublo. This company is welll
own and comment is uunecsaary.l
un representing the above Com-I
ny and will be pleased to call on*
y one wi?hing insurance. Writ#
I at Carlisle, 8. C. j
Mi-tf W. F. Hatfr, Agent. I
1^1 HAIR^BALSAM
ISBehwi n>Ml brtmiDii the tialr.
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iWH Hair to ita Youthful Color.
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