The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, June 12, 1903, Image 6
? >* -? ? !?! I??l? 1 1 ! I f
The Arizona |
Kicker |
< > f
* \ What It II*kS Accomplished In J
< Seven Yean y
< '! ? I I !
tCopyright. 1902. by C. R. I.ewla.J
SEVEN years ago when we made
our ilrst appearance in the
town of Cilvendnm (.illicit we
carried our spare shirt in a
bundle and were forced to sleep under
a wagon on the public square. We
rose up hreakfastless, but we had
hope and ambition for balder. The
Kicker, which Is now recognized the
world over as the greatest family paper
ever issued at any price, was start
en on ^.i in cmkii Jinn ii narrei ui siern
doterinkiat ion. Predictions were made
on every haml Unit It woulil be a failure.
hut th~ prophets shot wide of the
mark. In four weeks it was on u payHE
KICfEFD OPEN Om POOR AND BEGAN
SHOOTING.
Iiijr basis and gain in*:, and Its course
has been upward and onward ever
lUCC.
Success broupht us enemies. It
wasn't a month before wo had to
throw our club away and run in debt
for a pun. It took us two weeks to
learn one end of that pun from the
other, and wo had only discovered
what the tritrper was for when Arkansas
I'ete entered our sanctum to till us
with lead. We pave him a surprise
party and .paid the funeral expenses.
While the name of Arkansas Tete
was marked "No. 1" we earnestly
hoped the list would end there. It
didn't, however. Arizona Joe eame
alonp three months later and demanded
our scalp, lie was laid beside the
other, and we pressed forward up tlio
hill of ambition.
A little later came Major Calhoun.
We refused the major a cash loan, and
he tried to shoot the coin out of us.
The three proves in a row bepan to
have a business look, and, while there
were many to eonpratulate us, there
were also those who hankered to remove
us from the sphere we occupied.
Smith Taylor was the fourth pentlonuin
who started out to pull a pun on
us. but he was two seconds behind our
time. lie was postmaster at the time
and had been usinp our exehanpes for
Kiumiiig wihi'i iiimcum or uoiivenng
thorn. It has been charged by our enemies
that we "removed" Mr." Smith In
order to get his place, but all such
statements do us rank injustice. We
have boon postmaster for several years,
and we exiv-et to be for several years
to come, but tlie government selected
us entirely on account of our litncss for
the position.
Montana Tom bad the honor of being
No. We have always believed that
he was told by certain people that we
were retarding the Interests of this territory
and that he had a sort of Joan
of Arc feeling In his breast when he
entered our sanctum. His shooting was
good, but not good enough. He lingered
long enough to express his sorrow
and ask to be planted with his
boots on and then took his place in the
line.
It was only after six wooden headhoards
had been erected In memory of
as many individuals that we bought an
acre of ground in the suburbs of the
town and turned It into a combined
public park and a private editorial
graveyard, the first and only affair of
the sort in existence.
No man familiar with our career can
say that we have gone gunning for
victims. On tlie contrary, it is a well
known fact that we have often been
charged witli a lack of industry in tills
respect. Had we set out to make a
record the list would now number fifty
Instead of fourteen. We hud nothing
of the sort in view. On the contrary,
all we desired was to be let alone. We
may mention In this connection as an
evidence of our dislike to shed blood
that our esteemed contemporary lias
shot at us nt least ."iOO times iu th.* last
five years ami that on eneh and every
occasion we con Id have cut short his
career, hut he is alive and well today.
The gentlemen whose gravestones are
marked Nos. 7, 8, ?> and 10, respectively,
were of no partieular renown and
were not greatly missed by the public
when they had been laid to rest. They
pulled their guns o:i us on the street
and at the oillee for various causes,
and we did not open Are until the action
was demanded and justilled. Nos.
11 ami 12 belong to Colonel Hooper
anil Judge Ilildebrand, respectively.
They were good men, hut impetuous.
They wanted to take us by tlie neck
because wo differed with them in politics,
and in their zeal they found homes
where politics never enters.
ltd ween Nos. 12 and 1.*? there was
sn interval of over two years. We had
liegiiu to hope that the list would end
with No. 12 and that the time was
close st hand when our guns eould be
bung up to rest when the lion. Joe
n DR. MO I
PI jPfTFFTHINC
Rot. 3. W. Berrrfnf Arkansas Methodist Conferenee.wri'
two rru-Vsges of "TEF.TIIIN A." We wonder bow wo bare
sourl )nl m a package and it came at a most opportnno tic
been la bad condition (or dara. and nothing that wo (faro <
Krfert relief and ha has had no further trouble. Other n?
on a perfect sncesas.
Hltlwell took exceptions to an article
on llic dccfttlenco of truth In the west
nntl called to pepper us. One of our
puna happened to be handy, and the
result was that Mr. Bidwell had to
cancel many Important engagements.
We have always been sorry that he
tiiiiii i give us a eiianco io run, as 11c
was a man of push and ambition and
thoroughly loyal to Arizona. Ills disappearance
occurred just twenty-three i
mouths ago.
Again we were indulging in the hope
that peace on earth would soon he an
established fact and that we should
have no further use for cartridges than i
to shoot jack rabbits when No. 14 was added
to the list.
Wednesday last as we sat in our
sanctum Colonel Jim llardbank rode
up on his broncho and entered the of- . j
flee. For the past year he has urged us
to abandon our idea of becoming gov- ]
ernor of this territory and shove him
Into the place. We have not been able
to see our way clear to do It. and in
consequence we lost his friendship. IIo
came into town Wednesday determined
to remove'us from this vale of tears.
IIo had two guns, and his Jaw was set.
Brushing past those who feared he
meant trouble and would have stopped
him, he kicked open our door and began
shooting. We do not wish to dwell
on the affair. Unfortunately for the
late deceased, we happened to be loading
our guns preparatory to paying a
call on a shyster lawyer, and it was
only natural that we should shoot
back. We were grazed by three of the
colonel's bullets, but he dropped at our'
second j ml Is now at rest forevermore.
While we earnestly and truly lvpe
that No. 11 will be the last and that
\\'t\ \n\ liinoror liMfP *iit iMtoittv rtti nuidli
we liitist add that any person dropping
In 0:1 us with the intention of ridding
Arizona of our presence has got to l?e
lightning on the draw to get ahead of
us. Our ottice hours are from tS a. in. to
0 p. in., ami we never sit with our back
to the door. M. QUAD.
THE TREATING HABIT.
It Cofttn Its V let I in 5i .11 uny n Dollar
nuil Many n 1'niiR.
Is It not a fact that men really spend
in treating amounts that they would
hesitate to give away no matter how
deserving the charity? It Is a trait of
human character that conies through
this all absorbing disposition to "hold
your end up" when with a friend. Hundreds
of men take thousands of drinks
that thej* do not want, anl other hundreds
pay for thousands that arc not
desired.
Two men meet, and one says: "Mighty
glad to see you. Let's have something."
Neither generally needs or even wants
a drink. Hut the man who offers it
wants to show that he Is generous. He
takes this method of proving that he is
glad to meet his friend. The friend
after he has taken the drink that he
did not want, to prove that he. too. Is
a good fellow, insists upon n second
round.
The German custom of entering n saloon.
taking a drink and paying for it
and for no others if adopted in America
would prove a blessing. The Ameriean
custom of treating is decidedly a
curse. What we do for friendship's
sake costs us many a dollar and many
a pang.?Springfield Union.
Confeilrrnte KlaRR,
In March, 1801, the Confederate congress
adopted as the national emblem
the "stars and bars." It was made up
of three horizontal bars of red, white
and red, with a blue union In the upper
left band corner, on which were displayed
thirteen white stars in a circle,
thus giving the historic red, white and
blue, which tricolor appeared in all
the succeeding changes.
The resemblance of this to the stars
and stripes led to confusion, mistakes
and loss of life at the battle of Manassas,
and shortly after that action another
Hag was born to the Confederacy,
In September, 1801.
The battle flag was then adopted.
This, in the language of heraldry, was
a red field charged with a blue saltier,
with a narrow border of white, on
which were displayed thirteen white !
stars?In other words, a blue St. An- j
drew's cross 011 a red ground. This j
was easily distinguishable aud was
never changed.
/in /*"r i iRiu r if* i
Mrs. Jennings and her city cousin !
wore exchanging news of their old
school friends. "How about Lucy j
Morse?" asked the cousin. "Has slio
kept on growing fatter and fatter?"
"Well, all I'll say is this," said Mrs.
Jennings: "Annie Tall told me last |
year that when Lucy sent home from j
Nashua, where she was nursing her
uncle, to have a silk waist made, Annie
realized she hadn't got any measures, ;
and then she remembered that tlie last |
time Lucy wns there she stood up by
the big air tight stove, and Annie remarked
? to herself ? the resemblance
between 'em. And she took the measure
of that air tight and cut in a mite
for the waist line?'bout as much as a
knife marks warm molasses candy?
and made the waist accordingly, sent
It on, and Lucy wrote back it wns an
elegant fit."?Youth's Companion.
Wisdom, Mnylie.
'Isn't it funny?"
"What?"
"She's the head of a matrimonial
agency, but an old maid."?Detroit
Free 1'iese.
FETT'S m 1
jntn
pftwnpp J ma ?
blackBnusos, ark^ept^fljlljl^^ !
test) "Eaeloaad And flfir canta for which pleair mall ma
iralred children without It. The other dn/a lad/ In Mlano;
oar babe war In n rrrlout condition (hit bowel* had
lid any (ood| tho aoeond dooa of "TEETH1NA" ntt
emhoro of tha family haro a rod it and orrry doe# haa
ONE ARMED MAN'S SKILL.
llovr Hr Mnnn^ril to Dntton Ilia Coff
to Ilia Shirt Sleeve.
"Wlion and how did you lose yoiir
lefi arm?"
"Five years ago. I was working in a
factory and got my arm caught in some
belting.''
"Has your right arm become more
serviceable since you lost its mate;"'
"Oil, yes. I can do almost anything
with my one arm. I used to have a
great deal of trouble in dressing myself,
but it eoines easy now. I can tie
my shoes, put on a four-in-hand tie. put
collar buttons in a new sldrt; in fact,
ilo everything required just as well as
I could when I had two hands,"
"It certainly is wonderful what one
can do If he only has to.*'
"Yes; It is. There's only one thing,
however, that I really pride myself 011
being able to do with my one hnnd, and
that is to fasten my cuff. How do you
suppose I do this*:"
"I hadn't thought of this. For the
life of me I don't see liow you do It.
Do you fasten your cuff with yotir
teeth?"
"No." And the one armed fellow
smiled.
"Have you some contrivance of your
own that you use?"
"No "
"Well, I don't see how you do It. It's
beyond me."
"Why, I put the etiff on the shirt before
putting on the shirt."
And he smiled more broadly than
ever.?Indianapolis News.
Frrnk* of rv Grnln*.
One tiny n bulky, tall, palo faced gentleman
wltli bushy, restless eyebrows,
entered a London tavern. The waiter
dill not ask him for his order, but immediately
brought him a plate of broad
and cheese and a glass of ale. Having
consumed his lunch, the guest sat upright
in his chair for awhile, leaning
ids hands on a heavy walking cane
and staring blankly at the opposite
wall, as if in a dream. Of a sudden
he gave a start, ile seized the empty
glass and dashed it to the floor with
all ills might, smashing It to ntoms.
lie then reflected for a moment, laid
a coin on the table, got up and left
the inn without a word to any one.
After his departure another guest had
the curiosity to ask the waiter whether
the gentleman who lind Just gone out
was not wrong in bis head. Quoth the
waiter:
"Oil, no. sir! That's notlilnk unusual
with Mm, sir. 'E's broke may bo
a 'undred glasses since 'e's been a
comin* to this 'ouse. 'K don't seem to
know It when 'c does it. 'E just gits
a thlnkin' and seems to git hnngry
at somethlnk 'e's thinkin' about. It's
Lord Macaulay, sir."?Collier's Weekly.
Stimulated III* Imagination.
The mother of the three boys hail
noticed that when the}* slept in the
same room they were a long time going
to sleep. A little investigation
brought out the renscn.
"John." she said, "what kept you
boys awake so long last night?"
"Itob was telling us stories," he replied.
"But I heard him saying: 'Roys, I
wish j*ou wouldn't bother me. I want
to go to sleep!'"
"Yes," admitted John. "When he'd
told us one story we'd get out of bed
and run round the room awhile. Then
we would crawl in agnin and put our
cold feet against ills back, anil keep
them there till lie told us another."
Years afterward "Bob" became a famous
lecturer and story teller, and
that, possibly, is the way lie got his
start.
A Titled Kleptomaniac.
A titled kleptomaniac of three quarters
of a century ago was the Countess
of Cork. She had a reputation for
fltnnllllir nnvtliillir ulut P.mltl Inw lion
bands on, whether it was useful or
valuable or not. Once, when leaving a
country house where site had been
staying, she saw and quietly picked up
a hedgehog that was crossing n hall,
n pet of the porter's, and took it nwny
in her carriage. Finding it nn uncomfortable
foot warmer she decided
to dispose of It at the first town where
she changed horses and then offered
it to a confectioner in return for a
sponge cake.
What Meersehnnni Really la.
There is a very general impression in
the minds of smokers that the meerschaum
part of the pipe, which they
treasure so carefully and take so much
pride and satisfaction in "coloring," is
compressed sea foam. Such, however,
is not the case. The German word
meerschaum means in English foain of
the sea, hut its formation lias nothing
to do with the sea. It is a kind of clay,
onmou />!? A f liilnno llt"? -** ? -** '"
VVMIVO VUI VI UM lILVJ HAL- turn HUU 19
found only In Turkey.
A Iflfrblniid Stole.
The following little dialogue was
overlionrd in a far north hainlct:
"Mae. I hear ye have fallen In love
wP boiinie Katie Stevens."
"Weel, Sandy, I was near verrn near
?dneln* it. hut I found the lassie had
nae siller, so I said to inysel', 'Mae, be
a inan.' And I was a man, ujd 1100 1
pass lier by wl* silent contempt."?
1/ondon Telegraph.
Men must neip one another, or you
may rest certain they will hurt one an ther.
-Schoolmaster.
Wnll Street and Clothe*.
The best dressed men In New York
nre tlie Wnll streeters. There is one
young member of the Stock Exchange
who U famous for his clothes. lie hns _
n wardrobe in his private office and v<
changes his suit three times a day?at
10, at noon and at 3 o'clock. A busy _
session on the floor will wreck any suit.
Most of the brokers wear an old office
coat In the shuffle and turmoil, and
tliere Is scarcely an active member but
has an extra pair of trousers to put on
after the close of business. Scores of
little tailors In the financial district
make a good living pressing trousers
at GO cents a pair.
Coniltlrrnle Jotinnlr,
"Johnnie." said his mother threateningly
to the incorrigible, "I am going
to have vour father whin you when he
conios home
"Please don't. nintnnin," replied Jobnnle
penitently. "Pa Is always so tired
when lie convs borne."?Stray Stories.
Kodol Given Strength
By enabling tlio digestive organs to
digest, assimilate and transform all of
the whoscsomc food that, may be eaten
into the kind of blood that nourishes
the nerves, feeds the tissues, hardens
yie muscles, and recuperates tlie organ*
of the entire body. Kodol Dysj epsia
C"re cures Indigestion, Dyspepsia, Cats*
h of the stomach and all stomach
disorders. Sold by F. C. Duke.
-
The Spectroscope.
Originally the spectroscope was applied
only to chemistry and In that
limited Hold proved itself an invaluable
aid In accurate analysis. Ity holding in
a bunsen flame a platinum wire moistened
by contact with the skin the
presence of a few grains of salt swallowed
a few minutes previously can be
detected with the spectroscope. In- ?
deed, so wonderfully refined Is the
work of the spectroscopic chemist that I
he can discover in a substance the 1
presence of one three-inilliouth of a N
grain of metal.
Poor Hammi Xatnrc. C
Waggles?He couldn't remember why ^
his wife tied a string around his finger,
so he was afraid to go home and
stayed out all niglit.
Joggles?What was it he should have ^
rememberiHl? >
Waggles ?To come boiuc early.? 1 ^
Smart So*. n
Do You Enjoy What You Eat? P
If vnll don't, vnnr fond dncfl no!
you much good. Kodol Dyspepsia Cure P
is the remedy that every one should
take when there is anything wrong
with the stomach. There is no way to
maintain the health and strength of ^
mind and body except by nourishment,
There is no way to nourish except
through the stomach. The stomach
must be kept healthy, pure and sweet
or the strength will let down and disease ,
will *et up. No appetite, loss of 1
strength, nervousness, headache, constination,
had breath, sour risings, rifting,
I indict stion, dyspepsia and afi stomach 1
troubles are quickly cured by the use of
Kodol Dyspepsia Cures .Sold by F. C. J
l)ukc.
- - ? . Mnminnr
In Spain.
Never In my life have 1 seen such
wrapping and mullling as 1 have seen
In Spain. The men here wear very 'j
heavy clonks?heavier than any outer t
garment we have in America except
fur coats. These cloaks are usually
lined with colored plush; the Insldea f
of the front flaps are often lined with k
red or green or yellow plush, and of- r
ten with two colors. Sometimes the ^
men have pointed hoods to their clonks, c
but even when the cloaks are not hooded
the wearers wrap the capes around
their throats and mouths and even
around their heads. I have often seen
a Spaniard going along wrapped In a i
cloak and with a muffler bound around <
Ids bend, so that only one ear, one eye c
and one nostril were exposed.?J. A. I
Hart 111 Argonaut.. (
A Serioas Mistake.
K. C. Hewitt ?fc Co. is tlie name of tl?e ?
lirni who make the genuine Witch Ha- j
/el Salve. Hewitt's is the Witch Hazel
Salve that Heals without leaving a scar.
It is a serious mistake to use any other,
DeWitt's Witch Hazel Salve cures
blind, bleeding, itching and protruding
piles, burns, bruises, eczema and all 1
skin diseases. Sold by F.C. Duke.
t
Dentins OfT n Tin nr. '
If n <log springs for n man, the lat- 1
ter should guard his faeo with his
arm and try to meet the animal with
his forearm. With the right hand lie
should attempt to catch one of the animal's
front paws. The paw of a bull- "
dog Is ultra sensitive. If It can lie I
caught a vigorous squeeze will make t
the nnlmnl howl for mercy and retire
discomfited. ^
Plnttfrrd.
"Young man," said her frt'.'.er kindly,
"you look a little bit nervous. How do
you feel?"
"I feci flattered," replied tlie girl's
lover, who had asked for the Interview.
"I was afraid 1 looked scared to death."
?Exchange.
i
la the Ktnderirnrtert.
Teacher?What comes after "t,"
Ruth?
Rutli?The fellow what's going to
tnnrry my sister Jane.?Puck.
La dint and Children Invited. ?
All Ladies and Children who cannot '
stand the shocking strain of laxative
syrnp*, cathartics, etc., are invited to r
trv the famous little Knrly Risers.
They arc different from all other pills, They
do not Purge the system. Even
a double dose will not gri|s?, weaken or
sicken; manv people call them the Easy
Pill. W. II. Howell, Houston Tex.,
says nothing better can lie used for
constipation, sick headache, etc., Rob
Moore, Lafayette, Indiana., says all
others gripo and sicken, while DeWitt's
I Little Early Risers do their work Well
[ and easy. Sold by F. G. Duke.
-~*?rDR. I. M
m.PEN
Irown and Bridge
Work a Speoialtv.
4
I
CRACK GOES THE >
j IN COME THE ORI
w
SELLS THE VERY BEST OR
FERTILIZERS
AT THE VERY LOWEST
It pay* to fertilise your lani
THE VIRQINIA-CAROUf
CHEMICAL COMPANY?
PROOUCT5. Q
"foi-F kvERTvni
TTve Virginia-Carolina Ox>m?c1 C
CHARLESTON. S. C.
tmmnm*. T. r HaaaaMMaMMnMMMaM
leased to Hake
Who would /Ik* JL
ot b?? Only [y ^PTtJ
Iio-C WHO do ^^-3? ^ ^
ot seek to apreciate
Mtllll ^
ERFFCTION! (||? Jl \\\
rHE U-NEED-Ai
Surpassir
t has won the approval of g
who like well launch
VLILLING done at f
8-41 JACOI
Hln AHIitle Sena*.
"Chnrley, dear," said young Mra.
Torklns, "you shouldn't lot your artls1c
souse worry you so much."
"What do you moan?"
"I ovorheard you talking to that
rlend with whom you play cards. 1
mow how much you appreciate Uar110113'
In form and color, but it la
rrAiif* tn ha aa mnnh n nhava^ t\AAaiiSA
?no lionrt got In with n few spades."
-Washington Star.
Moral law.
The moral law lies nt the center ot
inture and radiates to the circumference.
Tt Is the pith and marrow of cv ry
substance, every relation and every
iroeess. All things with which wc
leal preach to us. What Is a form bul
i mute gospel? The sailor, the slicplord,
the miner, the merchant. In theli
leveral resorts have each an expert nee
precisely parallel.?Emerson.
Iler Op part na It jr.
They lind started for a stroll.
"There Is our minister," he said.
'I'm going to nsk him to join us."
"To Join us? Oh, George, this Is sc
mdden! nut hadn't you better speaV
:o papa before engaging the minister,
lear?"?Sparc Moments.
DeWitt's JKitf Salvo
For PUm, Burn*, Soroo.
Nere You Jokingi
When you said that you
_1 i- i i t
aiways irauea wnere you
could get the best bargains
for your money. I
sell
aoon goods
So cheap that your purse
will almost laugh.
N. Newell Smith,
^hone 126. tTuionf S. C
$
ha^rHSV
n?n*i and brautlftM tha bah;
ProHKdct a lai'irlant fr>rwth.
OOr* Early Rlaara
[. i 1 AIR.-3*"
TIST
Office Bank Building ^
Union. 8. O
VHIP iSj? ^
DERS JSfcftv
(ADESOf X
cosy ^
Til llllllll tlllUII
?v?~}iimcu cmriiT i
"" " The Largest
Manufacturer of
Fertilizers on Earth"
Forty odd
T* \ Manufacturing plants
Wholesale purchasers
Largest importers
K Concentration of
Management
the Acquaintance
(jiiickly wo can
ympfi And by unceasBy
jn^ ?rt
5TEAM LAUNDRY
igly Good.
AA<t liAtiaalrAAAAro n*i/l ?il
vuu uvuovivv.c|?ti o niiu an ?Iiu c
;red shirts and collars.
the same old stand*
3 RICE.
In New Quarters
Haying moved to my new stand,
and got everything in ship shape, I
am prepared to attend to yoar needs
1 in the line of watches, jewelry and
repairing. Give me a call.
F. G. Trefzer,
Williamson's Old Stand.
41
: BRICK! BRICK!' BRICK!!!
Ror sale in any
quantity.
The Rodger Brick Works.
! FOR SALECHEAP
One 15 H. P. Boiler and Engine (detached)
one Brick Maching, 20,000
daily capacity
The Rodger Brick Works.
j 25-tf
LIPPINCOTT'S
MONTHLY MAGAZINE
FAMILY LIBRARY
THE BEST IN CURRENT LITERATURE
12 Coxflktk Novki.s Yearly
MANY SHOUT STORIES AND
PAPERS ON TIMELY TOPICS
$ 2.50 rim yeah; 25 cts. a copy
NO CONTINUED STORIES .
VKltY NUMBER COMPLETE IN ITOELF.
Life and Accident Insurance.
i The Aetna Life Insurance writes
Colioles not only for Life Indemnity,
nt aleo policies that protect yoa In A
. oaee of accident or sickness. The ^
only Old Line Company in the United
States to do this. Rates are very
reasonable. This company is wsll
known and comment is nnnecssary.
I am representing the above Com*
pany and will be pleased to call on
any one wirMog Insuranoe. Write
- me at Carlisle, 8. O.
40-U W. F, Batik, Agent.
\ t 7 >