The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, July 19, 1901, Image 3
..FOR
Next 3
WE OFF
ENTIRE
AT C
Comm<
June 25i
W. T. BEA
F. Q. Austell
; JIB. BOWSER'S ODE.
HE WRITES ONE TO DELIVER AT A
SHAKESPEARE CLUB.
1
HtM I. >-re Out of Tunc, However,
and Neither >lm. Howkci* Nor the
Ilnn?rrj Trnmp Could Appreciate
1 Hie 1'oetlc (ienliiN.
[Copyrijjlit, 1001, by C. B. Lew's.]
Mr. Bowser had such n solemn look
on his face when he reached home the
other evening that Mrs. Bowser could
not guess whether he had got another
soft corn, failed in business or was
about to come down with the measles.
Ho did not leave her long in doubt,
however. Drawing himself up with a
good deal of dignity, he said:
"You will perhaps recall that I joined
the Shakespearean club about a.month
^ ago?"
I remember that .you were out one
night until 3 o'clock," she replied.
"What If I was out ten nights till 3
o'clock? I think I am able to take care
of myself."
"Oh, certainly! Hut what about the
. Shakospeareans? Are you going again
tonight?"
"Not tonight, but 1 have some work
In connection with it.* The clu') has
BETHUNED WITH PENOIIi AND PAI'F.H AND
GOT SKATED.
done me tlie lienor to nsk me to write
and deliver nn ode to Shnkospenre. I
thought I'd dnsli It off and let you go
over It with me. i don't suppose you
know an ode from a fall cheese?no
woman does?but you can see if it
reads smooth."
"You?you don't mean that you are
going to write an ode and deliver it?"
she asked as she turned pale.
"Certainly I aih. Why not?"
""But you hnve never written one, and
?snd""And
what? Who told yon that I
had never written an ode? Because I
don't keep a ton or two of odes lying
around the house you think I can't
write one. eh? Well, don't you worry.
y| * I'll Invent something to lilt the crowd. :
and I'll deliver It In a way to bring J
: - down tfce house. I'll get pencil and pal
r> ' %
TH E..
0 Days;
ER OUR
STOCK
vncT
slicing
:h, 1901.
i
]
fy x. r.n
I I VX/ \J\Jt
I
I, Hanager.
per nnu mane a rough tit-art."
Mrs. Bowser made no reply. Slie
would have given all her pin money for
the next six months If she could have <
escaped front the house for the next
two hours, but she realized that It was
impossible. The family cat stood
uround for four or live minutes, as if
wondering what she should do, and
then got out of sight under the lounge.
When Mr. Bowser returned with pencil
and paper and got seated, he said:
"The night I Joined the Shakespcnreans
some of the members thought
they saw a facial resemblance between
me and Shakespeare. Did It ever
strike you that way?"
"There may be a faint resemblance,"
diplomatically replied Mrs. Bowser.
"Well, it doesn't astonish me. Our
ancestors were probably related. Now.
here goes for the ode. An ode is?an
ode. An ode Is rather high down.
There are no Jerks and jingles about
nr. ode, and the lines needn't always
rhyme, l.eniuie see-- lemiue see."
For the next two minutes Mrs. Bowser
could hear her heart beats. Mr.
Bowser sat and stared into vacancy
and the eat came out of hiding and sat
down and looked up into his face with
a yearning expression, as if asking fo:
an ode to herself. Inspiration cam*
grudgingly. hut presently the "odeist"
turned and wrote a few words ami
said:
"'The start Is always the worst, hut 1
think I've got it. I am going to lead
off with ?
"Beneath the budding trees ol spring 1
I'le tune my tyre and sweetly ting.
"How does that strike you?"
"I shouldn't exactly cull that an ode,"
replied Mrs. Itowser.
"Then what is It?"
"It's rhyme."
"It's rhyme, of course, but It's an
ode at the same time. I always mingle
the two together when I can. I'll sweetly
sing?sing sing? leinine see. Ah. 1
have it! And the first verse will now
rend:
"Bononth tho tin.Ming tree* of spring
I'll tmi** niv tvrr and swrrtlv sinir.
I'll >>i?>; ?tf one \vtio?o umit renown
Ik known in every Kindle town.
"Any fault to tlud with that?"
"Only that It Isn't an otlo."
"isn't an ode? If it Isn't an otlo. then
What In thumlor won hi you call It?
What are you grinning at, and what hi
blades Is the cat looking at me that
way for? Mrs. Bowser, I want no levity
on this occasion. I have started out
to write an ode, and odes and nonsense
don't go together."
"Will you let nie tell you that there
Is a difference between an odo and a
rhyme?"
"No, I won't! I was writing odes to
Napoleon, Washington and others hefore
you could spell the word, and I
want none of your impudence. What a
fool 1 was to expect any assistance
front you!"
Mrs. Bowser wisely held her peace,
and the eat turned her hack, and after
Mr. Bowser had walked around the
room three or four times he sat down
??Mg
and wrote Tor live minute.*. Then
smile came to his face, ami his go*
nature was quite restored as lie said
"She runs off as easy as grease,
have finished the second verse ami w
read it to you:
"llis name is Shakespeare, And litis pen I
Has honored hiu: anions all men.
llis name will live ten thousand years, I I
And o'er his Krave we'll shed our tears./
"Perhaps you'll say that's notJi
ode? Where are you going?"
Mrs. Bowser had started for tlicf-'
to give vent to her feelings, hutl't?
had to lialt and face him and cjkv
down lier emotions.
"Weren't you listening to tliatjecnml
rni'uoV' I... -.-.i '
V..?. 1* ?ov ? uv PVIVH'I^ HMvl'U. I
"Yes, of course, but I must sti^ay
tbnt It Is not nn ode."
"Oli, you must? Mow very Ind!
Will the lady condescend to eJaln
when and where she grnduatcdjs a
Judge of odes?"
"Mr. Bowser, before I read yfl an
ode let's look in the dictionary al see
what Webster says. I am sure v will
find"?
"Find nothing!" ho shouted t his
collar began to turn red with h face
and neck. "Don't you dare nttr.pt to j
rend me an ode! Don't tell nn what I
Webster, Worcester, Jones. Join on or
any other man says about them 11
"But 1 want to show you Hit you
are mistaken," she protested. 1
"Never?never In all this worhl You
go right up to your room aul stay
there!"
Mrs. Bowser went, and the eat bund
a refuge, and Mr. Bowser was looking
around for something to kick over
when the doorbell rang. Tie answered
It to find a "weary William" confronting
him.
".hist a crust of bread to keep life in
nie till morning." said the tramp.
"Do you know anything about poetry?"
queried Mr. Bowser as a bright
thought came to him.
"I ought to. as I have published two
volumes of it." was the reply.
"Then come in. I've got part of an
ode here I want your opinion of. and
after you have given it we'll see about
the crust. This Is to be an 'Ode to
Shakespeare.' "
"I see. 1 dedicated my last volume to
him."
"I am to read it before a club."
"Exactly. I've been there myself. If
It's a good tiling, tlie newspapers will
want to publish it. I'm ail ready."
Mr. Bowser looked around for the cat
ind out into the hall to see if Mrs.
bowser had sneaked dowu stairs and
then read the first verse. The tramp
had no remarks to make. lie stood
with bent head and wabbling knees.
Vtic second verse followed, and Mr.
Bowser said:
"That's as far as I have got. And
bow do yon like It?"
"Drop it, old man?drop It!" whispered
"Weary."
"What do yon mean?"
"It will lead to suicide or murder."
"Do you mean that you find fault
witli my ode?"
"It Isn't an ode; it isn't rhyme; it isn't
verse. It's hog wash! I'm dying for a
crust of bread, but I'm a poet, and
when I hear such stuff as that 1
must" ?
Then he went down the hall on
wings, with Mr. Bowser after liim and
the cat a good third. At the door there
were a errnimle. a dozen cuss words
and a great banging, and when Mrs.
Bowser got dovvu stairs the caller had
escaped. Mr. Bowser stood there with
his shirt bosom torn out, his collar
hanging by one end and his right eye
turning plum color, but "William" had
esca ped.
"Is this the same ode or another
one?" she asked after awhile.
He took his hat olT the hall tree and
flung it down and jumped on it, but
uttered no word in reply. Ilis lyre
was out of t tue. M. Quad.
House Horned Hy Lightning.
Oandi.eii, Fla., July v?The flue
residence of J. Boling, 3 miles south ot
Candler, was struck by liglituiug during
a severe thunderstorm and burned
to the ground in a few minutes. Mr.
and Mrs, Boling were away from home,
leaving four children in the house at
the time of the accident. They were all
rondered insensible by the shock. Two
of the children recovered consciousness
barely in time to drag the other two
children, who were still insensible,
from the burning building. The lower
limbs of the oldest child of 11 years are
paralyzed, ami it is unable to walk. Ir
is a wonder the children were not all
LJromateu, as the house burned so quickly.
Nothing whatever was saved of
household effects.
feu1 scribe iOi ihk i imkb sum Kef}
(K)3tfi'l.
FOR Si
4
A WORTHY SUCCESSOR.
''Something: Now Under
The Sun."
All <lcctors have tried to cure
CAT A It Ull hy the use of j>owders, acids,
gases, inhalers and drugs in paste form.
Their powders dry up the mtteuous
ineinhranes causing them to crack open
and bleed. The powerful acids used in
inhalers have entirely eaten away the
same membranes that their makers
aimed to cine, while pastes and ointments
cannot roach the disease. An old
and experienced practitioner who has |
for many years made a close study and i
specialty of the treatment of C ATA HUH, i
has at last perfected a Treatment which ;
when faithfully used, not oniy relieves ]
at once, hut permanently cures CA- j
TAUltlljhy removing the cause, stop-;
ping the discharges, and curing all inilamation.
It is the only remedy known
to science that actually reaches the afflicted
parts. Tiiis wonderful remedy is
known as "SN U ITI.KS the tlUA K A XTEED
CATARRH CURE," and is sold
at the extremely low price of One Hollar,
each package containing internal and
external medicine sufficient for a 1
mouth's treatment and every thing ne-1
ccssnry to its perfect use.
"SNUFFLES" is the only perfect !
CATARRH CUKE ever made and is
now recognized as the only safe and
j positive cure for that annoying ami disgusting
disease It cures all intlaination
quickly and permanently and is also
vjoiuVerfully quick to relieve HAY
ljKYKIt or COLD in the illOAD.
CATARRH when neglected often
ltads to CONSUMPTION?"SNUFff.US"
will save you if you use it at
(ace. It is no ordinary remedy, hut a
Omplete treatment which is positively
<Jnv ran toed to cure CATARRH in any
qrm or stage if used according to the
dreetions which accompany each packer.
I >on't delay hut send for it at once,
snd write full pai ticularsas to your conation,
and you will receive special ad ice
from the discoverer of this wonJerful
remedy regarding your case withut
cost to voti hevond the regular price
if "SNI FFt.KS" the "GUARANTEED
tlATA P 111 I CUP K."
' Sent prepa'd to any address in the
United States or Canada on receipt of
Ono Dollar. Address Dept. 1 EDWIN
II. CILKS C<).M PAN Y, 2S30 and 2oU2
Market Street, I'liiladclphia. Pa.
10- ly
Mark Twain's missionary articles
! seems to have been entirely justified
i by missionary Keel * admissions and
by General Chaffee's report en missionary
Tewksbury.
The Ssunn Old Story.
J. A Kelly relates an experience similar
to iluu. which happened in alums!
eveiy neighborhood in itie. United States
and hash.en told and re-told by thousands
ot other$. He says: "I/ast sumniei
L had an attack of dysentery
puvohased a bottle of Uliambeilain's
t ode, Cholera and Dianhuea Itemed),
wheh I used aeeotdi. g to directions ai d
wiih entirely sat ;>faeu?ry result". Tie
lioid le was eoniiolhd tinte-i ((nickel
than toiner attacks vii-n 1 used other
r?mcd:es.'' Mr. K?-iiy is a well known
citizen of llei deison, X. C. For sale
hy F. C. Duke, Druggist.
The official report of ship building
in the I;nitod States fti the fiscal
year 1000-01 shows an aggregate < i
over 400.000 t ns. the largest lor 40
years. Yet, now is the time select
1 cd to clamor for a subsidy bill.
The Tlest Liniment for Strains.
Mr F. II Wells, the merchant a
; Deer I'ark. Long Island, N. V.. says;
4T a'ways r<commend Chamberlain's
Pain IVr-.hn ns the hi st liniment for sttains
I used it 1 s.t winter tor a severe iameneess
in the side, resulting from a strain,
and was greatly pleased with lli. (('tick
rel'ef and cure il elT"cU*d. For sale, by
F. C. Dltke Di ucgist.
The Doer prisoners at St. Helena
arc printing a paper called "Dckragsgeoungonc."
No doubt it expresses
theii feeling < n the subject.
m
A Qnnork Prin fnrn
n jup&iu uiip ^uic.
Johnson's Tonic is a supcib Grij
cwie. J' tves every trace ot (?ii|> Poison
f miiu ilie system. I>oes it quick.
Within an 'our it. enters the blood anil
begins to m .tralize liie ?ITects of tin
poison. Wi I.in a (lav it places a Grij
victim beyon the point of danger
Within a week, ndily clireks attest, return
of perfect Health. Price ">o cent!
it it cures. Ask for Johnson's (.'hill am
? Pever Tonic. Take nothing else.
I l-My
VLE AT HOLMES
1 Subtle |
Foe |
Dyspepsia is unrecognized in
luilf the eases. It deceives the ^
unknowing sufferer. Its many Jg
variation* work along tie- weakest S^j
lines of tiie system. To huttle
_ against only one of them is vain.
Our booklet explains its sviiip- gSc
touts. < >tit' Dyspepsia Tablets give
complete aud la-ting relief.
h GILES' 1
|| DyspepsiaTabieis S
??) 2"?f) a r j n RDr iSCz
SOLD BY UNION DRUG CO.
I'M ON, S. C\
Povto Hico will cotuc within the
tariff laws of the United Sta'es 01
July 25. Senator Aldrich tried to go
the President *o shut her out foi
several months longer on pretext o
testing her revenue abilities, btf
William was afraid to make the play
Summer complaint h u orally prow
lent among children this se ison. A
well (Uvelo|>ed ease in tiie in the writer*,
family was cured last week by the tinte
ly use of Chamberlain's folic, ('holers
ami Diarrhoea Kemedy?me of the he:patent
uudicines manufactured am
which is always kept on hand at tin
home of ye scribe. This is not intendei
as a free puff for the company, who d?
not advertise with us, hut to hem tit lit
tie sufferers who may ribt be within east
access of a physician. No family shouk
be without a bottle of this medicine ii
the house, especially in summer time ?
Lansing. Iowa, lournal. For sale Ly F
{). Duke. Dt uggist.
Isn't it possible that some part o
the general rise in pr ice during th
last year or two was due to the cut
ting on of the Iransvaal gold supply
amounting to onc-thii<1 ot the world'
output?
Look Carefully
To Your Kidneys
Dr. Jenner's
Kidney Pills
cause the kidneys to work as
nature intended they should.
They build up the shrunken
walls of the kidneys, as no
known remedy has been found
to do before.
As a cure for urinary troubles
they have no equal.
l(>> 25, ?0 Cents us
bUL.L> jay UxUUJM JJXtUU uu.
rNk >>;. s. <
i Secretary Wilson says th:?t tl
sugar trust is about t<> bo smashed 1
i the cultivation of beet, sugar in tit
country. Somebody should tell tl
good old man that the sujar trti
owns or controls nine tenths of t'
beet sugai factories in the Unite
, States.
I Health Office Hours.
Will l>e in my oflice, sit tlie Count
> Chamber, from lost. m. to 12 m. eve
day, Sundays and holidays excepted, >'
" j Hie convenience of citizens wishing Ouri
J permits or to transact, any other businc
' pertaining to the ot'.iee.
2t??i,f. W. I>. IIaukis.
iimiiiui
6c MOORE'S PE
After predicting "no relief for
three days and seeing the temperature
I fall daily froui thunder storms, the
i Weather Bureau predicted cool and
rain only to see the weather hotter and
dry as a boue. It would pay to get the
Bureau to predict hot and dry for a
while. <>r consult llicks.
woman's
Life 1
! is hard enough .as /V
it is. It is to her that / Vk
we owe our world, / |\
and everything
should be made as
easy as possible for J|/^ \
i her at the time of W ... jl\ \
childbirth. This ZXJT*/{_ \ \
' is just what yrw
\ UnTUEB'C (M
V IIEall r I "Wj?T"
Friend
will do. It will make \
baby's coming easy
; ami painless, and that without taking
dangerous drugs into the system.
It is simply to be applied to
i the muscles of the abdomen. It
I penetrates through the skin carrying
strength and elasticity .with itIt
strengthens the whole system and
prevents all of the discomforts of
pregnancy.
The mother of a plumb babe in
Panama, Mo., says: " I have used
Mother's Friend and can praise it
highly."
Get Mother's Friend at the
Druq Store, SI per bottle.
The Bradfield Regulator Co.,
ATLANTA, GA.
1
i i \Vrfte for our free illustrated book,
" Before Baby is Born."
( Jenera I Mac Arthur is now on his
i way home fr"tn the hot climate of
c Manila to a nice, cool vacation in
- the delightful climate of the United
States.
North Pole seekers may be crazy,
hut there is certainly method in their
jiudness at this time of the year.
Don t Force
Your Bo<wels
with harsh minerals which
always leave bad after-effects
on the entire system, and where
their use is persisted in, tend to
completely wreck the stomach
and bowels.
..USE..
Edgar's Cathartic
confections
The only harmless, vegetable,
bowel regulator, and liver vitalize*
known.
As pleasant to the taste as
candy, and as positive as the harshest
mineral. No gripe or pain.
830 10, 25, 50 cents.
SOLD BY UNION DRUG CO.
>e I'N ION, S. C.
It is a fine point to say that Gen1(
oral Smith opposes Quay and the
st Philadelphia gang as a Pennsvlvaniun
"'.and not as a inotnhor of the adminisd
trillion. However, if the President
wishes to d"dge responsibility in the
matter let him do so.
Late census returns shows that
t N there are six American millionaires
oi who have become naturalized Britishmi
ers. It pleases tl.ein and it pleases
the I Hi ted States; whether it pleases
j the British is another thing.
[ARMACY.
j " * . ?>