Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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fcXCllSEMF: ^RUPERT HU?flES . ^ flOVEIZED IPOtt THE \ GOMEDY OF TUE SAME flAME. T T T |>ulf ILLVS1KATJSD K?QAV IE* PHOTOG?APHS OF WSU THE PLAY AS PRODUCED ^flPJMRY W. $AVAC*B~. ^B^y *_J ?TOPYglGHT IjMl M.K.FX.V CO* "Sally! What on earth ails you?" "Been smok-oking," she hiccoughed. The world seemed to be crashing round Dr. Temple's head. He could only gurgle, "Sally!" Mfg. Temple drew herself up with weak defiance: "Well, 1 saw you play? ing cards and drinking." In the presence of such Innocent deviltry he could only smile: "Aren't wo having an exciting vacation? But to think of you smoking!?and a cigar!" She tossed her head in pride. "And It didn't make me sick?uauch." She clutched a chsir. He tried to support her. Ho could not help pondering. "What would they say In Yp-hipsl tanttr "Who cares?" she laughed. "I?I wish the old train wouldn't rock so." "1?I've smokel too much, too," said Dr. Temple with perfect truth, but Mrs. Temple, remembering that long glaaa she had seen, narrowed her eyea at him: "Are you sure It was the smokef "Sally!" ho cried, In abject horror at her implied suspicion. Thon she turned a pale green. "Oh, I fool such n nualm." "In your conscience, Sally?" "No, not In my conscience. I think 111 go back to my be*th and He down." "Let me help yoi, Mother." And Darby and Joan hurried along the corridor, crowding it as they were crowding their vaentton with belated experience. CHAPTER XIX, Foiled I It was late In the forenoon before the train came to the end of its iron furrow across that fertile space be? tween two of the world's greatest riv? ers, which the Indians called "Iowa," nobody knows exactly why. In con? trast with the palhiades of the Missis? sippi, the Missouri twists like a great brown dragon wallowing In congenial mud The water Itself, as Hob Bur dette said. L so muddy that the wind blowing across it raises a cloud of dust. A sonorous bridge led the way into Nebraska, and the train came to a halt at Omaha. Malljry and Murjorle got out to stretch their legs and their dog. If they had only known that the train was to stop there the quarter of sn hour, and If th*y had only known some preacher there and had had him to the atatlon. the c eremony could have been consummated ?h?:< and thero. The horizon wat fairlv saw-toothed with chur*?a sp'.'es. There were preachers, preachers everywhere, and n9X ? 4?Bl'n*J to ^? their deed. i ? After they Tiad strolled up and down the platform, and ip und down, and up and down till ;.hey were fain of ihelr cramped quartets, again. Mar jorle suddenly dug .?er nails Into Mai lory's arm , "Honey! look?look!" Honey looked, and there before their very eyes stcod as clerical a looking person as ever announced a Strawberry festival. Mallery stared und stared, till Mar Jorie said "Do sj nee? gtgpMI it's a preacher' | pMmM her!" "It looks hke one." was us fur us Mal'ory would --omnilt himself, und ha was turning gWajT. Hi had about OOtM to the h. th f thai sgythlag thai look, d like a parson was something elso. But Mafjtfta whirled! him round again, with a shrill whisper to listen And ho overheard In torn-s addfc lod to the pulph L "Y*s. d?a<on. I Must that thd hr r test will be plentiful at my new church it grtoref nie |g lawvg tha dear brothers and ssders In the Lord In Omaha, hut I Nil tailed tO wider pastures " And I l.tdy Whd ?ih gfWtsJi n?ly Mrs. Deacon spoke ui> "We'll miss you terrible. We all say you ure the bed pastor our church ever had." Mullory t? ;? 11? < 1 to spring on his prey and drag him to his lair, hut Marjorle hehl htm ho k. "lle'a faking our train, Lord, bless bis dear old s<>u! And Mallory could I ave hugged him. Hut hie kept along watch. To tha ran* tare of fhn wedding hungry twain, tha preacher shook hand-* u'Mi such of his flock n* had followed him to (ha Its tlon. picked up his valise and walked up to the porter, extending his ticket. Hut the porter said?and Mallory coud have throttled htm for saying It '"Sense me. posnon. hut that's yo* train ova yonda. You betta move tight smuht, for It's gtlllg' readv to pull out ." With a Httta shrhk of dismnv. the parson clutched ids vgHag and aat oil at a run. Mallory dashed after him and Mgfjoffld affer M illm v. Thai shouted as they ran. but the conduct or of the east hound train sang out ' All aJvoarrtf" and awttnv on The paraon made a sprint And jaught the ultimate rail of the moving ?rain. Mallory made u frantic leap ai I flying coat-tail and missed. As he and Marjorle stood gazing reproach? fully at the train which was giving a beautiful illustration of the laws of re? treating perspective, they heard wild howls of "Hi! hi!" and "Hay! hay!" and turned to see their own train in motion, and the porter dancing a Zulu step alongside. CHAPTER XX. Foiled Again. Mallory tucked Marjorle under Ills arm and Marjorle tucked Snoozleums under hers, and they did a sort of three-legged race down the platform. I The porter was pale blue with excite ment, and It was with the last gasp of breath In all three bodies that they scrambled up the steps of the only open vestibule. j The porter was mad enough to give them a piece of his mind, and they were meek enough to take It without a word of explanation or resentment. And the train sped on into the heart of Nebraska, along the unpoetic valley of the Platte. When lunch time came, they ate It together, but in gloomy silence. They sat In Mar June's berth throughout the appalling? ly monotonous afternoon In a stupor of disappointment and helpless dejec? tion, speaking little an 1 saying noth? ing then. Whenever the train stopped, Mal? lory watched the on-getting passt ti? gers with his keenest eye. He had a theory that since most people who looked like preachers were decidedly lay, it might, be well to take a gam? bler's chance and accost the least ministerial person next. So, in hl9 frantic anxiety, he select? ed a horsey-looking individual who got on at North Platte. He looked so much like a rawhided ranchman that Mallory stole up on him and asked him to excuse him, but did he happen to be a clergyman? The man replied by asking Mallory if he happened to be a flea-bitten maverick, and embel? lished his qucstiou with a copious flow of he words ministers use, but with a secular arrangement of them. In fact he split one word Ln two to insert a double-barrelled cur^e. All that Mal? lory tould do was to admit that ho was a flea-bitten what he-said, and beck away. After that, if a vicar in full uni? form had mareh#d down the ais.o heading a procession of chclr-boys, Mallory would have suspected him. He vow ?d In his haste that Marjorle might die an old maid before he would approach anybody else on that sub? ject. . .... f x ' ? 4 ^ . Nebraska would have been a nice long state for a honeymoon, but its tour hundred-odd miles were a dreary length for the couple so near and yet so far. The railroad clinging to the meandering Platte made the way far longer, atpl Mallory and Marjorle left like Pyramus and TbltbO wandering along an eternal wall, through which they could see, bu* not reach, one, another. They diAfd together as dolefully as If they had been married for forty years. Thog ihe slow twilight soaked ?hem In it a Melancholy. The porter lighted up the car, and the angels llghed Up Iba stars, but nothing light? ed up their hopes. "We've ant to qun.rel again, my be? loved," Mallory groaned to Marjorle. Souo how they were too dreary even, to ggf oim another with an outburst, 'or the benefit of the eager eyed pas seliger?. A little aicltemenl bestirred them as thus realised that they we re con fronted with another night<robetosi Dight and a morrow without change oi gear "What a pity that w? left our things in the taxlcab," Marjorle sighed, And this time she said, "we Itft them," in stead of "you left them." it was vary gm< lous of bar, but Mallory did not a< knowledge the eourfesv. Instead 00 ga \ s a st a rt and a lUBp "Good Lord. Marjorle, wa never paid ihn second tailcab I" "Great bee vena, how shall wa ever pay him? lie's been waiting there tw< at) t'>ur hours. How mm b do you suppose w g owo him ?" tbOUt I year of my pay, I gUCSS." "You must sand bin a telegram of apology and ask him to read bll meter. Ha was BUCh a nice man tho kindest even for a chauffeur." "Put how can I tehgrajdi him? I don't know all name, or his number, or his <<>mpa;iy, or anything." It's tOO bad. He'll go through life hating us and thinking we cheated hlrn." "Wail, be doesn't know our natu? I cither." And then they forgot him temporal! lv for the more Immediate need of Clothef All the passengers know that tht I had left behind what buggagg they had not sent ahead, and much ?ympathy had been expressed. Tbjt most people would rather give you their sympathy than lend you their clothes. Mallory did not mind the men, but Marjorle dreaded the wom? en. She was afraid of all of them but Mrs. Temple. She threw herself on the little lady's mercy and was asked to help herself. She borrowed a nigh gown of extraor? dinary simplicity, a shirt waist of an ancient mode, and a number of other things. If there had been anyone there to see she would have made a most ana? chronistic bride. Mallory canvassed the men and ob? tained a shockingly purple shirt from Wedgewood, who meant to put him at his ease, but somehow failed when ho said in answer to Mallory's thanks: "God bless my soul, old top, don't you think of thanking me. I ought to thank you. You see, the idiot who makes my shirts, made that by mis? take, and I'd be no end grateful ;f you'd jolly well take the loathsome thing off my hands. I mean to say, I shoudn't dream of l>eing seen in it myself. You quite understand, don't you?" Ashton contributed a maroon atro? city in hosiery, with equal tact: "If they fit you, keep 'em. I got stung on that batch of socks. That pair was originally lavender, but they washed like that. Keep 'em. I wouldn't be found dead in 'em." The mysterious Fosdick, who lived a lonely life in the Observation car and slept In the other sleeper, lent Alallory a pair of pyjamas evidently intended for a bridegroom of romantic disposition. Mallory blushed as he ac? cepted them and when he found him? self in them, he whisked out the light, he was so ashamed of himself. Once more the whole car gaped at the unheard of behavior of its newly wedded pair. The poor porter had been hungry for a bridal couple, but us he went about gathering up the cast-off footwear of his large family and found Maliory's shoes at number three and Marjorle's tiny boots at number five, he shook his head and groanen. "Times has suttainly changed for the wuss. If this is a bridal couple, gimme divoicees." CHAPTER XXI. Matrimony to and Fro. And the next morning they were in Wyoming?well toward the center of that State. They had left behind the tame levels and the truly rural towns and they were among foothills and mountains, passing cities of wildly picturesque repute, like Cheyenne, and Laramie, Bowie, and Medicine Bow, and Bitter Creek, whose very names imply literature and war whoops, cow? boy yelps, barking revolvers, another redskin biting '.he dust, cattle stam peces, town-paintings, humorous lyr.chings and bronchos in epileptic frenzy. But the talk of this train was con? cerned with none of these wonders, wh:ch the novelists and the maga zinlst have perhaps a trifle overpub llshed. The talk of this train was con? cerned with the eighth wonder of the world, a semi-detached bridal couple. Mrs. Whitcornb was eager enough to Voice the Sentiment of the whole pop? ulace, when she looked u.> from her novel in the observation room and, nudging Mrs. Temple, drawled: "By the way, my dear, lias that bridal couple made up its second night's quarrel yet?" "The Mallory S?" Mrs. Temple flushed as she answered, mercifully. "Oh, yes, they were very friendly again this morning." ! Mrs, YYhitcomb's countenance was Cynical! "My dear, I've been married twice and I ought to know something about honeymoons, but this honeyless honeymoon--" the cast up her eyes and her hand? in despair. The women wa re so concerned about Mr. and "Mrs." Mallory, that they hardly noticed the uncomfortable plight of the Wellingtoni, or the curi? ous behavior of the lady from the Stateroom Who seemed to bo afraid of something ami never Bpoke to any? body, The Strange behavior oi Anno (iattle and Ira La'hrup even escaped much comment, though they were for? ever being stumbled on when anybody went out to the observation platform. When they were dislodged from there, they sat playing checkers and talking Very little, but making eyes at one an? other and sighing like furnaces. They had evidently concocted some secret ol their own, for Ira, looking at his watch, murmured sentimentally to Anne: 'Only a few hours more, Annie." And Anno turned geranium-color ami dropped a handful of i beckers. "I don't know how 1 can face it." Ira growled like a lovesick lion-. "Aw, What do you care?" "But 1 was never married before, Ira," Anne protested, 'and on a train, too." "Why, all the bridal couples take to the railroads." "I should think it would be the last place they'd go," said Anne a sensible woman, Anm ! "Look at the Mallorlea ?hOW mts? ruble they are." "1 thought they were happy." o,'d Ira, whose great virtue it vas to pay little heed to what was none of his business. "Oh, irn." cried Anne, Ml hope wo -han't begin to quarrel ;os toon as wo are married." "As If anybody could quarrel with you, Anm-," he said. "I o you think I'll bo so monotonous us that ?" she retorted. Her spunk delighted hlra beyond words. He whispered "Anne, you're so c ?1 dai ned sa eel If I dou't get a chance to kiss you, I'll bust." "Why, Ira- we're on the train." "Da??arii the train: Who ever heard of a fellow proposing and get? ting engaged to a girl and not even kissing her." "But our engagement is so 6hort." "Well, I'm not going to marry you until I get a kiss." Perhaps innocent old Anne really believed this blood-curdling threat. It brought her instantly to terms, though she blushed: "But everybody's al? ways looking." "Come out on the observation plat? form." "Oh. Ira, againr* "I dare you." "1 take you?but" seeing that Mrs. Whitcomb was trying to overhear, she whispered: "Let's pretend it's the scenery." So Ira rose, pushed the checkers aside, and said in an unusually posi? tive tone: "Ah, Miss Gattle, won't you have a look at the landscape?" MP! (h*?nh you. Mr. Lathrop," sa!d Anne, i just love scenery." Tl t> ..audered forth like the Sleep? ing Beauty and her princely awaken er, and never dreamed what gigglings and nudgings and wise head-noddings went on back of them. Mrs. Wellington laughed loudest of all at the lovers whose heads had grown gray while their hearts were still so green. It was shortly after this that the Wellingtons themselves came into prominence in the train life. As the train approached Green Itiver, and its copper-basined stream, the engineer began to set the air? brakes for the stop. Jimmie Welling? ton, boozily half-awake in the smok? ing room, wanted to know what the name of the station was. Everybody is always eager to oblige a drunken man, so Ashton and Fosdick tried to get a window open to look out. The first one they labored at, they could not budge after a biceps-break? ing tug. The second flew up with such ease that they went over backward. Ashton put his head out and an? nounced that the approaching depot was labelled "Green Itiver." Welling? ton burbled: "What a beautiful name for a shtation." Ashton announced that there was something btuutlfuller still on the platform?"Oh a peach!?a nectarine! and she's getting on this train." Even Doctor Temple declared that ?he was a dear litte thing, wasn't she? Wellington pushed him aside, say? ing: "Stand back Doc, and let me see; I have a keen sense of beau'ful." "Be careful," cried the doctor, "he'll fall out of the window." "Not out of that window," Ashton sagely observed, seeing the bulk of Wellington. As the train started off agaiu, Little Jimmie distributed alco? holic smiles to the Green Riverers on the platform and called out: "Good'bye, ever'body. You're all abslootly?ow? ow!" He clapped his hand to his eye and crawled back into the car, groaning with pain. ' What's the matter?" said Wedge wood. "Got something in your eye?" "No, you blamed fool. I'm trying to look through my thumb." "Poor fellow!" sympathized Doctor Temple, "it's a cinder!" "A cinder! It's at leasht a ton of coal." "I say, old boy. let me have a peek," said Wed ye wood, screwing in his mon? ocle and peering into the depths of Wellington's eje. "I can't see a bally thing." "Of course not, with that blinder on," growled the miserable wretch, weeping in spite of himself and rub? bing his smarting orb. "Don't rub that eye," Ashton coun? selled, "rub the other eye." "It's my eye; I'll rub it if I want to. Get me a doctor, somebody. I'm dying." "Here's Doctor Temple," said Ash? ton, "right on the job." Wellington turngd to the old clergyman with pa? thetic trust, and the deceiver writhed in his disguise. The best he could think of was. "Will somebody lend nie a lead pencil?" "What lor'."' said Wellington, un? easily. i am going to roll your upper lid up on it," said the Doctor. "Oh, no, you're not," said the pa? tient. You can roll your own lids!'' Then the conductor, still another conductor, wandered on the scene and usked as if ii were not a world-impor? tant matter: "What's the matter? pick up a cinder?" "Yes. Perhaps you can get It out,'' the alleged doctor appealed. The conductor nodded: "The best way is this--take hold of the wink? ers." "The what ?" mumbled Wellington. "Grab the winkers of your upper eyelid in you" right hand?" "I've got 'ein." "Now grab the winkers, of your low? er eyelid in your lefl hand. Now raise the right hand, push the under lid under the overlid and haul the overlid over the underlld; when you ha\o the overlid well over the un? der?" Wellington w:.\r>d hi:n away- "Say, what do you think I'm trying to do? stuff a mattress ' Get out of my way. I want my wife had me to my wife." "An excellent Idea," said Dr. Tem? ple, who had been praying for a recou ( Illation. He guided Wellington with difficulty to the obeervath n room ami, Unding Mrs. Wellington at the desk as usual, lie began: "Oh, Mrs. Wellington, may I Introduce you to your husband" Mrs, Wellington rose haughtily, caught :i sieht of her Buffering consort and ran to him with a cry of "Jim? mie!" "Lucia lia !" "What's happened?arc you killed?" "I'm tar from well. Ihn don't WOP r> M\ lite Insurance Is paid up." "Oh. my poor little darling." Mrs* ? - ? - ?-? ,w?-. Jinmiie fluttered, "What on earth ails you?" She turned to the doctor. "Is he going to die?" *'I think not," said the doctor. "It's only a bad case of cinder-in-the-eye ti?.': Thus reassured, Mrs. Wellington ?went into the patient's eye with her handkerchief. "Is that the eye?" she asked. "No!" he howled, "the other one." She went into that and came out with the cinder. "There! It's just a tiny speck." Wellington regarded the mote with amazement. "Is that all? It felt as if I had Pike's Peak in my eye." Then he waxed tender. "Oh, Lucre.la, how can I e*er?" But she drew away with a disdain? ful: "Give me back my hand, please." "Now, Lucretia," he protested, "don't you think you're carrying this pretty far?" "Only as far as Reno," she answered grimly, which Stung him to ro:t: "You'd better take the beam cut of your own eye, new that you've k'.a the cinder out of mine," bir she, not? ing that they were the center oi inter? est, observed: "All the passengers are enjoying this, my dear. You'd better go back to the cafe." Wellington regarded her with a re? vulsion to wrath. He thundered Jt her: "I will go back, but allow me to inform you, my dear madam, that 111 not drink another drop?just to sur? prise you." Mrs. Wellington shrugged her shoul? ders at this ancient threat and Jimmie stumbled back to his lair, whither the men followed him. Feeling sympathy in the atmosphere, Little Jimmie felt impelled to pour out his grief: "Jellmen, I'm a brok'n-heartles9 man. Mrs. Well'n'ton is a queen among women, but she has temper of tarant?" Wedgowood broke in: "I say, old boy, you've carried this ballast for three days now, wherever did you get it?" Wellington drew himself up proud? ly for a moment before he slumped back Into himself. "Well, you see, when I announced to a few friends that I was about to leave Mrs. Wel? l'n'ton forever and that I was going out to?to?you know.' "Reno. We know. Well?" "Well, a crowd of my friends got up a farewell sort of divorce breakfast? and some of 'em felt so very sad about my divorce that they drank a little too much, and the rest of my friends felt so very glad about my divorce, that they drank a little too much. And, of course, I had to join both parties." 'V-.id that breakfast," said Ashton, "lasted till the train started, eh?" Wellington glowered back triumph? antly. "Lasted till the train started? Jellmen, that breakfast is going yet!" CHAPTER XXII. In the Smoking Room. Wellington's divorce breakfast re? minded Ashton of a story. Ashton was one of the great That-Reminds-Me family. Perhaps it was to the credit of the Englishman that he missed the point of this story, even though Jim? mie Wellington saw it through his fog, and Dr. Temple turned red and buried his eyes in the eminently respectable pages of the Scientific American. Ashton and Wellington and Fosdb k exchanged winks over the British? r's stare of Incomprehension, and Ashton explained it to him again In words of one syllable, With signboards at ail the different spots. Finally a gleam of understanding broke over Wedgewood's face and ho tried to justify his delay. "Oh, yes. of caw so I see it now. Yes, I rather fancy I get you. It's awfully good, isn't 'it? I think I should have got It before but I'm not really my? self; for two mawningl I haven't had my tub." Wellington shook with laughter: "If you're like this now, what will you be when you get to Sin san frasco?I mean Frlnsanstaco?well, you know what I mean." Ashton reached round for the elec? tric button as it' he were conferring a favor: "The drinks are on you, Wedge wood. I'll ring." And he rang. "Awflly kind of you," said Wedge wood, "but how do you make that out?" "The man that misses the point, pays for the drinks." And he rang again. Wellington protested. "But Fve Jolly well paid for all tho drinks for two days." Wellington roared: "That's another poitit you've missed." And Ashton rang again, but the pale yellow indi? vidual who had always answered the lull with alacrity did not appear. "Where's that infernal buffet waiter?" grumbled. Wedgewood began to titter "Wo were out of Scotch, so I sent him for some more." 'When?" "Two stations hack. I fancy wo must have left him bi hind." "Well, why in thunder didn't you' say so?" Ashton roared. "It quite escaped my mind." Wedge wood crinned. "Rather good joke on you fellows, what?" "Well, I d<?n't Bee the point." Ash? ton growled, but the triumphant Eng? : lishman howled "That's where you pay! Wedgewood had hla laugh to him? self, for the others wonted to murder hint. Ashton advised a lynching, but j the conductor arrived on the scene In time to prevent \ lob m e. Fosdtck Informed him of the Irre? trievable loss of the useful buffet wait? er. The conductor promised to get another at thub a Ashton wailed "Have we go! to sit lure and die of thirst till then?" The conductor refused to "back tip for a coon," but offered to si nd in a sleeping car porter as a temporary substitute As tie started to go, Fosdick, who had be*.n iaeessantly consulting hia watch, checked him to ask: "Oh, con? ductor, when do we get to the state iine of dear old Ft ah?" "Dear old Ftah!" the conductor grinned. "We'd 'a' been there already if ve hadn't 'a' fell behind a little." "Just my luck to be late," Fosdick moaned. "What you so anxious to be in Utah for, Fosdick?" Ashton asked, sus? piciously. "You go on to 'Frisco, don't you?" Fosdick was evidently confused at the direct question. He tried to dodge it: "Yes, but?funny how things have changed. When we started, no? body was sneaking to anybody except his wife, now?" "Now," said Ashtcn, drily, "every? body's speaking to everybody except his wife." "You're wrong there," Little Jim? mie interrupted. "I wasn't tpeaking mlo interrupted. "I wa.u't speaking to my wife In the first place. We got on as sirangersh and we're straugersh yet. Mrs. Well'n'ton is a?" "A queen among women, wej know! Dry up." said Ashton, and then they heard the querulous voice of the por? ter of their sleeping car: "I tell you, I don't know nothin' about the buffet business." The conductor pushed him in with a gruff command. "Crawl In that cage and get busy." "Still the porter protested: "Mista Pullman engaged me for a sleepin' car, not a drlnkin' car. I'm a berth maker, not a mixer." He cant a re? sentful glance through the window that served also as a bar, and hia whole tone changed: "Say, is you goin' to allow me loose amoi.gst all you do, I can't guarantee my con duck." them beautiful bottles? Say, man, if "If you even sniff one of those bot? tles," the conductor warned him, "I'll crack it over your head." "That won't worry me none?as long as my mouf's open." He smacked his chops over the prospect of Inti? macy with that liquid treasury. "Lordy! Well, I'll try to control my emotions?but remember, I don't guar? antee nothin'." The conductor started to go, but paused for final instructions: "And remember?after- we get to Utah we can't serve any hard liquor at all." "What's that? Don't they 'low noth? in' In that old Utah but Ice-cream soda?" "That's about all. If you touch a drop, I'll leave you In Utah for life." "Oh, Lordy, I'll be good!" The conductor left the excited black and went his way. A6hton was the first to speak: "Say, Porter, can you mix drinks?" The porter ruminated, then con? fessed: "Well, not on the outside, no, sir. If you-all is thirsty you better or? der the simplest things you can think of. if you want to command anything fancy, Lord knows what you'd get. Supposir/ you was to say, 'Gimme a Tom Collins.' I'd be just as liable as not to pass you a Jack Johnson." "Well, can you open beer?" "Oh, I'm a natural born beer opener." "Rush It out then. My throat is as full of alkali dust as these windows." The porter soon appeared with a tray full of cotton-topped glasses. The day was hot and the alkali dust very oppressive, and the beer was cold. Dr. Temple looked on it when it was am? ber, and suffered himself to be bullied into takiug a glass. He felt that he was the greatest sin? ner on earth, but worst of all was the fact that when he had fallen, the for? bidden brew w as not sweet. He was inexperienced enough to sip it and it was like foaming quinine on his pal? ate. Put he kept at it from sheer shame, and his luxurious transgres? sion was its own punishment. The doleful Mallory was on his way to join the "club." Crossing the ves? tibule he had met the conductor, and had ventured to quiz him along the old lines: "Excuse he, haven't you taken any clergymen on i~*ard this train yet?" ' Devil a one." "Don't you ever carry any preachers on this road?" "Usually we get one or two. Last trip we carried a whole Methodist convention." "A whole convention last trip! Just my luck!" The unenlightened conductor turned to call back: "Say, up in the forward car we got a couple of undertakers. They be of any use to you?" "Not yet." Then Mallory dawdled on into the smoking room, where he found his own porter, who explained that he had been "promoted to the bottlery." "Do we come to a station stop soon?" Mallory asked. "Well, not for a considerable inter? val. Do you want to get out and walk up and down?" "I don't," said Mallory, taking from under his coat Snoocleuma, whom he had smuggled past the new conductor. 'Meanwhile, Porter, could you give him something to eat to distract him?" The porter grinned, and picking up a bill of fare held it out. "I got a meenuel. it ain't written in dog, but you can explain it to him What would \o' cnnine dealall, sah?" Bnoozleumi put out a paw and Mal? lory read svhnt it indicated: "Ho says he'd like a ?let Chateaubriand, but If you have any old bones, he'll take those." The porter gathered Snoozle iimi in and disappeared with him Into the buffet, Mallory calling after him: "Don't let the conductor see him." Dr. Temple advanced on the dis? consolate youth with an effort at cheer: "How is our bridegroom this beautiful afternoon?" Mallory glanced at his costume: "I