Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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BOISE ME! ^RUPERT flU?flES . ^ mmiziD from m tk COMEDY OF TflE SAME Sfj AAME. T T T I^??f 1UVST?ATED F?Q/H ? EW PHOTOORAPHvS OF USU THE PLAY A*> PRODUCED CHAPTER I. Th? Wreck of the Taxlcab. The young woman In >he tax. cab scuttling frantically down the da.*k ?treet. clung to the arm of the youiv man alongside, as If she were terrl fled at tbe lawbreaklng, neck-risking ?peed. But evidently some greater fear goaded her, for she gasped: "Can't he go a dttle faster?" "Can't you go a little faster?" The young man alongside howled as be thrust bis bead and shoulders through the window in tbe door. But the self-created taxi-gale swept his voice aft, and the taut chauffeur parked his ear In vein to catch the ?anishing syllables. "What's that?" he -^ared. "Can t you go a nttl* faster?" The Uidlgnant charioteer simply had to shoot one barbel glare of re? proach into that passenger. He turned his head and growled: "Say, do youse want to lose me me license?" For Just one instant he turned his head. One instant was Just enough. The unguarded taxlcab seized the op? portunity, bolted from the track, and flung, as It were, its arms drunkenly sround a perfectly respectable lamp poet attending strictly to its business on the curb. There ensued a con? densed Fourth of July. Sparks Hew, tires exploded, metals ripped, two wheels spun in air and one wheel, neatly severed at the axle, went reel- , Ing down the sidewalk half a block j before it leaned against a tree and rested. A dosen or more miracles coincided to save the passengers from injury. The young man found himself stand? ing on the pavement with the un? hinged door still around bis neck. The young woman's arms were^round his 1 neck. Her hesd was on his shoulder, it had reposed there often enough, but never before in the street under a Utmppost. The chauffeur found a 1 ra? se If in the rosd, walking about on all fours, like a bewildered quadruped. Evidently some overpowering need for speed possessed the young wom? an, for even now she did not scream, she did not faint, she did not mur? mur, "Where am I?" She simply said: Am! the young' man, not realizing ' how befuddled he rea'ly was, or how his hand trembled, fetched out his watch and held it under tbe glow of the lamppost, which was now bent over In a convenient but disreputable attitude. "A quarter to t *n, sweetheart. Plenty of time for tbe train." "But the minister, honey! What about tbe minister'' The consideration oi this riddle was interrupted by a muffled hubbub of yelps, whimpers and canine hysterics, immediately the yountf woman forgot ministers, collisions, train-schedules? everything. She showed ber first sign of panic. "Snoozleums! Oet Snoozleums!" They groped about In the topsy? turvy taxlcab. rummaged among a Jumble of suitcases, handbags, um? brellas and minor impedimenta, and fished out a small dog-basket with an inverted dog inside. Snoozleums was ridiculous in any position, but as he slid tall foremost from the wicker basket, he resembled nothing so much as s heap of tangled yarn tumbling out of a work-basket, lie was an In dlgnaut skein, and had much to say before he consented to snuggle under his mistress' chin. About this time the chauffeur came prowling into view. He was too deep? ly shocked to emit any language of the garage He wa? too deeply shocked to achieve any comment more brilliant than "That meas don't look much like it ever was a taxlcab, does it?" The young man Hhrugged bis shoul? ders, and stared up and down the long street for another. Tho young woman looked sorrowfully at the wreck, and queried: ? I >?> >ou ?hink you can make it go? The chauffeur glanced her way, more in pity for her whole sex than In scorn for this one type, as ho mum? bled: "Make it go? it'll take a steam winch a week to unwrap it from that lamppofo ?? The young man apologized "I oughtn't to h ive *-lh d at you ' He was evidently u very nice young man. Not to be outdone In courtesy, the chauffeur retoited 1 hadn't ought to have turned me bead Tbe young woman thoi.ght, "Whut a nice chauffeur!" but she gasped: 'irrest heavens, you're hurt!" "It's nuttln' but i scratch an me t Uli "Lend me a clean hanuker I hi. Harry The young man whipped out his re nerve supply, and In a trice It wi.s a bandage on tbe chauffeur's hand l"ho chauffeur decided that the young worn an waa even nicer than the young wan. Dut he could Dot settle orj a way to say It. -So he said nothing, and grinned sheepishly as he said It The young man named Harry was wondering how they were to proceed. He had already studied the region 1th dismay, when the girl resolved. "We'll have to take another tax*. Harry." "Yes, Marjorle, but ? e can't take It .?ill we get it." "You might wait here ail night wit' out ketcbln' a gllmp' of one, ' the chauffeur ventured. "I come this way because you wanted me to take a short cut." "It's the longest short cut 1 ever saw," the young man sighed, aa be gazed this way and that. The place of their shipwreck was so deserted that not even a crowd had gathered. Tfce racket of the collision had not brought a single pjllccman. They were in a dead world of granite warehouses, wholesale stores and fac? tories, all locked and forbidding, and full of silent gloom. In the daytime this was a big trade artery of Chicago, and all day long It was thunderous with trucks and com? merce. At night It was Pompeii, so utterly abandoned that the night watchmen rarely slept outside, and no footpad found It worth while to set up shop. The three castaways stared every which way, and every which way was peace. The ghost of a pedestrian or two hurried by in the far distance. A cat or two went furtively in search of warfare or romance. The lamp? posts stretched on and on In both di? rections in two forevers. In the faraway there was a muf? fled rumble and the faint clang of a bell. Somewhere a street car was bumping along its rails. "Our only hope," said Harry. "Come alonj, Marjorle." I He handed the chauffeur five dollars as a poultice to his wounds, tucked the girl under one arm and the dog basket under the other, and set out, calling b*?ck to the chauffeur: "God nigU!" "Good night!" the girl called back. "Good night!" the chauffeur echoed. He stood watching tbem with the ten? der gaze that even a cuauffeur may feel for young lo"e hintmilttg to a' honeymoon. i He stood beaming so, till tbelr foot? steps died la the silence. Then he turned back to the chaotic remnants of his machine. He worked at It hope? lessly for some time, before he had reason to look within. There he found the handbags and suitcases, um? brellas and other equipment. He ran to the corner to call after the owners. They were as absent of body as they had been absent of mind. He remembered the street-number Henry Mallory and Marjorie Newton. they g#d given hin as their destina? tion. He united till at hist a yawning poih otnan sauntered that way like n lonely beach patrol, and left him in < barge while be went to telephone his garage for a wagon and a wrecking crew It was ( lo>e on midnight before ho reached the number bis far SI bad given him. It was a parsonage lean? ing against a church He rang the bell and finally produced from an up? per window a nightshirt topped by a frowsy hand. Ho explained tho situ? ation, and his possession of certain propcrHes belonging to parties un kuown except by their llrst names. The clergyman drows.ly murmured: "Oh. yen. I rente i.her The young man was I.leutenan' Henry Mallory, and be said he would Htop here With a young lady, and get married on tho way feej the train. T'ut they never turnad up '* "Lieutenant Mallory, eh.' Where could 1 leach bim?" "He said he was leaving tonight lor the Philippines." "The Philippic**! Well, I'M he?" The minister closed the Window just in lime. CHAPTER II. The Early Birds and the Worm. In the enormous barn of the rail? road Station stood iuhdv strings of cars, as If a gigantic young (iulliver stabled his toys there and Invisibly amused himself; now vcisking this one away, now backing that other in. Some of the trains were noble equip? ages, fitted to glide across the whole map with cargoes of Lilliputian mil? lionaires and their Lilliputian ladies. Others were humble and shabby linked-up day-coaches and dingy emokingca?, packed with workers, like ants. Cars are mere vehicles, but locomo? tives have souls. The express en? gines roll in or stalk out with gran? deur and ease. They are like em? perors. They seem to look with scorn at the suburban engines snorting and grunting and shaking the arched roof with their plebeian choo-choo as they puff from shop to cottage and j back. The trainmen take their cue from < the behavior of theii locomotives. The 1 conductor of a transcontinental nods to the conductor of a shuttle-train ' with less cordiality than to a brake man of his own. The engineers of the HmitedR look like senators in, overalls. They are far-traveled men,! leading a mighty life of adventure. ' They are pilots of lajid-?hlps across land-oceans. They have a right to a certain condescension of manner. ' Dut no one feels or shows so much arrogance as the sleeping car porters. They cannot pronounce "supercili? ous," but they can be it. Their dis? dain for tho entire crew of any train ; that carries merely day-coaches or half-baked chair-cars, is expressed as only a darkey in a uniform can ex? press disdain for poor white trash. Of all the haughty porters that ever curled a tip, the haughtiest by far was the dusky attendant in the San Francisco sleeper on the Trans-Amer? ican Limited. His was the train of trains in that whole system. His car the car of cars. His passengers the eurpassengers of all. His train stood now waiting to set forth upon a voyage of two thousand miles, a Journey across seven imperial states, a Journey that should end only at that marge where the continent dips and vanishes under the breakers of the Pacific ocean. At the head of his car, with his lit? tle box-step waiting for the foot of the first arrival, the porter stood, his head swelling under his cap, his breast swelling beneath his blue blouse, with its brass buttons like reflections of his own eyes. His nan.j was Ellsworth Jefferson, but he was called anything from "Poarr-turr" to "Pawtah," and be usually did not come When he was called. Tonight he was wondering perhaps what passengers, with what disposi? tions, would fall to his lot. Perhaps he was wondering what his Chicago sweetheart would be doing in the eight days before his return. Per? haps ho was wondering what his San Francisco sweetheart had been doing in the five days since he left her, and how she would pass the three days that must intervene before he reached her again. He had Othello's ebon color. Did he have Othello's green eye? Whatever his thoughts, he chatted gaily enough with his neighbor and colleague of the Portland sleeper. Suddenly he stopped in the midst of a soaring chuckle. "Lordy, man. looky what's a-com InT' The Portland porter turned to gaze. "I got my fingers crossed." "I hope you git him." "I hope I don't." "He ll work you hi."d and cuss you out, and ho won't 0ive you even a Much Obliged." "That's right. He ain't got a usher to carry his things. And he's got enough to 1111 a van." The oncomer was plainly of Eng? lish origin. It takes all sorts of peo? ple to make up the Hritish Krupire, and there is no sort lacking?glorious or pretty, or sour or sweet Hut this was the type of English gloho-trotter that makes himself as unpopular among foreigners as he is among his own people. Ho is almost as unen? durable as tho Americans abroad who twang their banjo brag through Eu? rope, and berate France and Italy for their Innocence of buckwheat cakes. The two porters regarded Mr. Har? old Wedgewood with dread, as ho bore down Oh them. He was almost lost In the plethora of his own lug? gage He asked for the Ban Fran? cisco sleeper, and the Portland porter had to turn away to smother his gur? gling relief. Ellsworth Jefferson's heart sank. He made a feeble effort at self pro? tection The Pullman conductor not being present at the moment, he ln qulred! ' Have you got yo' ticket?" ?of cawse." "Could I see it?" "of cawse not. Too much troublo to fish it out" The porter was fading. "Do you remember yo' numba?" "Of cawse. Take these " He began to ]>ile thlngfl On the potter like a mountain unloading sn avalanche. The porter stumbled SB be clambered up the steps, and squeesed thrcugb the strait path of the c< rrldor Into the slender aisle He turned again and again to question the invader, but he was motioned and bunted down the car, till be was baited with a "This will do." The Englishman selected section three for his own. The porter v< n tured: "Are you Hbo' this is yo' nua; ba?" "Of u;v se I'm Shaw. II?;v dare you question my?" "I wasn't questionin' you. boss, 1 was jus: astln' you." He resigned himself to the despot, and began to transfer his burdens to the seat. But he did nothing to the satisfaction of the Englishman. Every? thing must be placed otherwise; the catch-all here, the portmanteau there, the Gladstone there, the golfsticks there, the greatcoat there, the rain? coat there. The porter was putting like a donkey-engine, and mutiny was growing in his heart. His last com? mission vas the hanging up of the bowler hat. He stood on the arm of the seat to reach tfce high hook. From here he paused to glare down wltn au attempt at irony. "Is they anything else?" "No You may get down.** The magnificent patronage of this wilted the porter completely. He re? turned to the lower level, and shuf? fled along the aisle in a trance. He was quickly recalled by a sharp: "Pawtah!" "Yassah!" "What time does this bally train start ?" "Ten-thut:y, sah." "But it's only ten now." "Yassah. It'll be ten-thutty a lit? tle later." "Do you mean to tell me that I've got to sit hyah for half an hour?Just waltin'?" The porter essayed another bit of irony: "Well," he drawled, "I might tell the conducta you're ready. And mob be he'd start the tram. But the time? table says ten-thutty." He watched the effect of his satire, but it fell back unheeded from the granite dome of the Englishman, whose only comment was: "Oh, never mind. I'll wait." The porter cast his eyes up in de? spair, and turned away, once more to be recalled. "Oh, pawtah!" "Yassah!" "I think we'll put on my allppahs." "Will we?" "You might hand me that large bag. No, stupid, the othah one. You might open it. No, it's In the othah one. Ah, that's it. You may set it down." Mr. Wedgewood brought forth a soft cap and a pair of red slippers. The porter made another effort to escape, his thoughts as black as his face. Again the relentless recall: "Oh, pawtah, I think we'll unbutton my boots." He was too weak to murmur "Yas? sah." He simply fell on one knee and got to work. There was a witness to his helpless *ge?a newcomer, the American counterpart of the Englishman in all that makes travel difficult for th? fel? low travelers. Ira Lathrop was zeal? ous to resent anything short of per? fection, quick and loud of complaint, apparently impossible to please. In everything else he was the op? posite of the Englishman. He was burly, middle-aged, rough, careless in attire, careless of speech?as uncouth and savage as one can well be who Is plainly a man of means. It was not enough that a freeborn Afro-American should be caught kneel? ing to an Englishman. But when he had escaped this penance, and ad? vanced hospitably to the newcomer, he must be greeted with a snarl. "Say, are you the porter of this car, or that man's nurse?'' "I can t tell yet. What's yo' num ba. please?" The answer was the ticket. The porter screwed up his eyes to read the pencilled scrawl. "Numba se'm. He^h she is, boss." "Right next to a lot of women, I'll bet. Couldn't you put me In the men's end of the car?" "Not ve'y well, suh. I reckon the cah is done sold out." With a growl ol rage, Ira Lathrop slammed into the seat his entiro hand baggage, one ancient and rusty valise. The porter gazed upon him with in? creased depression. Tho passenger list had opened inauspiciously with two of the worst types of travelers the Anglo-Saxon race has developed. But their anger was not their worst trait in the porter's eyes. He was, in a limited way, an expert in human character. When you meet a stranger you re? veal your own character In what you ask about his. With some, the Hrst question is, "Who are his people?" With others, "What has he achieved?" With others. "How much is he worth?" Each gauges bis cordiality according to his estimate. Tim porter was not curious on any of these points. He showed a demo? cratic Indifference to them. His one vital Inquiry was: "How much will be tip?" His inspection of his first two charges promised small returns. He buttoned Up his cordiality, and de? termined to waste upon them the Ir? reducible minimum of attention It would take at least B bridal couple to retsore the balance. Put bridal couples in their tl ist bloom rarely fell to the lot of that porter, for what bridal couple wants to lock it hclf In With a crowd Of passengers for the first seventy two hours of wedded bliss? The porter banished tho hope as a vanity. Little ho knew how eagerly the young castaways from that wrecked taxlcab desired to be a bridal couple, and to catch this train But the Englishman was restive again: "Pawtah! I tay, paw tab 1" "Yassah ln "What time are we duo In San Fran? cisco?"' "San Francisco? San Francisco 1 We are doo that) the even in' of the fo'th day. This beln' Monday, that ought to bring uh in ahote Thiisaday evenin'." Th^ Yankee fett called u]>on to check the foreign usurper. "Porrterr!" "Yassah!" "Don't let that fellow monopolize you. He probably won't tip you at all." The porter grew confidential: "Oh, I know his kind, sah. They don't tip you for what you do do, but they're ready letter writers to the SooperinU-ndent for what you don't do." "Pawtab! I say, pawtah!" "Here, porrterr." The porter tried to imitate the Irish bird, and be in two places at once. The American had a coin in his hand. The porter caught the gleam of It, and flitted thitber. The Yankee growled: "Don't forget that I'm on the train, and when we get to 'Frisco there may be something more." The porter had the coin in his hand. The Porter. Its heft was light. He sighed: "I hope so." The Englishman was craning his head around owlishly to ask: "I say, pawtah, does this train ever get wrecked?" "Well, it hasn't yet," and he mur? mured to the Yankee, ' but I has hopes." The Englishman's voice was queru ous again. "I say, pawtah, open a window, will you? The rir is ghastly, abso-ripping- i lutely gLasi. ." The Yankee growled: "No wonder we ha<] the Revolution? ary war'." Then he took from his pocket an envelope addressed to Ira Lathrop & Co., and from the envelope he took a contract, and studied it grimly. The envelope bore a Chinese stamp. The porter, as he struggled w ith an obstinate window, wondered what sort of passenger fate would send him next. CHAPTER III. In Darkest Chicago. The castaways rrom the wrecked taxlcab hurried along the doleful Street. Both of them knew their Chi? cago, but this part of it was "hot their Chicago? They hailed a pedestrian, to ask where the nearest street car lino might be, and whither it might run. He answered indistinctly from a dis? creet distance, as he hastened away. Perhaps he thought their question merely a footpad's Introduction to a sandbagging episode. In Chicago at night one never knows. "As near as I can make out what he Faid, Marjorie," the lieutenant pon? dered aloud, "we walk straight ahead 1 till we come to L'mptyump street, and there we find a Harara car that will take \ii to Bloptyblop avenue, i never heard of any such streets, did you?" "Never," she panted, as she Jog trotted alongside his military pace. "Let's take the first car we meet, and perhaps the conductor can put us off at the street where the minister lives." "Perhaps." There was not much confidence in that "perhaps." When they reached the street-carred street, they found two tracks, but nothing occupying them, as far as they could peer either way. A small shopkeeper In a tiny shop proved to be a delicatessen merchant so busily selling foreign horrors to aliens, that they learned nothing from him. At length, In the tar-away, they made out a headlight, and heard the grind anil squeal of a car. Lieutenant Mallory waited tor it. watch In hand. He boosted Marjorlvs elbow aboard and bombarded tbe conductor with questions. Bui the conductor had no m tie heard of their street than they had Of his. Their agitation did not disturb his stoic calm, but he invited them to come along to the next cross lug, where they could find another car and more learned conductors; or, what promised better, perhaps a cab. He threw Marjorie into a panic by ordering her to Jettison Snoozleums, but the lieutenant bought his soul for a small price, and overlooked the fact that he did not ring tip their fares. The voting couple squeezed into a seat and talked anxiously in sharp whispers. "Wouldn't it be terrible, Harry, if, Just aB we got to the minister s, we should find papa there ahead of us, waiting to forbid the bands, or what? ever it la? Wouldn't it be Just ter? rible?" "Yes, it would, honey, but it doesn't seem piobable. There are thousands of ministers in Chicago. He could never find ours. Fact is, i doubt if we find him ourselves." Her clutch tightened till he would have winced. It he had not been a Boldier. "What do you mean, Harry?" "Well, in the first place, honey, look what time It is. Hardly more than time to get the train, to say nothing of hunting for that preacher and standing up through a long rigma? role." "Why, Harry Mallory, are you get? ting ready to Jilt me?" "Indeed I'm not?not for worlds, honey, but I've got to get taat train, haven't I?" "Couldn't you wait over one train?* just one tiny Utile train?" "My own, own honey love, you know it's impossible! You must re . member that I've already waited over three trains whlie you tried to make up your mind." "And you must remember, darling, that It's no easy matter for a girl to decide to sneak away from home and be married secretly, and go all the way out to that hideous Manila with no trousseau and no wedding pres? ents and no anything." "I know It isn't and I waited pa? tiently while you got up the courage. But now there are no more trains, i shudder to think of this train being late We're not due in San Fran? cisco till Thursday evening, and my transport sails at sunrise Friday morn? ing. Oh, Lord, what if I should miss that transport! What if I should!" "What if we ?bould miss the min? ister?" "It begins to look a great deal like it." ITO BE CONTINUED) There is no real need of anyone be? ing troubled with constipation. Chamberlain's Tablets will cause an agreeable movement of the bowels without any unpleasant effect. Give them a trial. For sale by all dealers. WINTHROP COLLEGE Scholar-hip and Entrance Examina tion. The examination for the award of vacant scholarships in Winthrop Col? lege and for the admission of new students will be held at the County Court House on Friday, July 5, at 9 a. m. Applicants must be not less than fifteen years of age. Wien scholarships are vacant after July 5 they will be awarded to those making the highest average at this examina? tion, provided they meet the condi? tions governing the award. Appli? cants for scholarships should write to President Johnson before the exami? nation for scholarship examinat.on blanks. Scholarships are worth $100 and free tuition. The next session will open September IS. 1912. For further information and catalogue, address Pres. D. B. Johnson. Rock Hill. S. C. it is now well known that not more than one case of rheumatism in ten requires any internal treatment What? ever. All that is needed is a free ap? plication of Chamberlain's Liniment and massaging the parts at each ap? plication. Try it and see how quick? ly it will relieve the pain and sore? ness. Bold by all dealers. THE t I.I MSON AGRICULTURAL COLLEGE Enrollment U\cr 800 ? Value of property (Her a Million and a Quarter?Ninety-four Teachers and Officers. Degree COursee: Agriculture. Agriculture and Chemistry. Agriculture and Ani? mal Industry. Chemistry. Mechanical and Electrical Engineering, civil Engineering, Textile Engineering, Architectural Engineering, short Courses. ?me year course in Agriculture. Two year course In Textiles. Four weeks Winter Course In Cotton Grad? ing. Four weeks Winter Course for Farmers, Cost. <\ist per session of nine months Including .'11 fees, heat, light, water. board, laundry and the aecosaan uniforms $133.50. Tuition $nu>o ad? ditional. SCHOLARSHIP AXD ENTRAXCI EX VMlXATIONS. The College maintains 167 four \c.ir Agricultural and Textile Schol? arships ami "l one-year Agricultural scholarships. Value of scholarships $100 per session ami free tuition. (Students who h.?\e attended Clemson College or any other col? lege or university, are m>t eligible for iin scholarships unless there are no other eligible sppllcants.) scholarship ami l ntraneo Exami? nation- will be lichl at the Count > Court How* <?ii July 12th, i? A. M \o\t sc?iott >|tpns si ri i aim i: it ini3. Write \T ONCE to W. If. RlgsT*. President. Clemson College, s c. for catalog, scholarship Hanks, etc. if \<>u delay, you may be 'rowded out.