The watchman and southron. (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, December 21, 1910, Image 7

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^ I Amending Hit Constitution. A well kuowu attorney of heavy build aud pompous to a degree that frequently reu c bee the state of being overlies ring was leavlug his office lu ? Broad street building the other day. With Dls hlgb hat on and carrying g I walking stick, he bad stepped npon the sidewalk when he slipped and lauded Bat upon the pavement with a thud that shocked him as well as cause?! embarrassment Just then another attorn.?> who ff> joys su equal distinction in the ie. world passed and laughed at the fab lawyer. When the latter was trying to get up he r? marked to the other: "1 guess 1 am getting old. Ml ?tltution will not stand what It did years ago." As be arose to his feet his friend facetiously remarked. "Well, th aft, Dirk, you ought to get an amendine: to your constitution." letting at his friend with a cold stare, as cold as the ice he had fallen npon. he asked: "Well, what kind of an amendmeut won Id you suggest. If you know so much .'" "1 dou't know exactly." was the re? ply. "I don't give advice to my clients without some kind of a retainer, but as you are an old frleud of mine 1 would suggest a cushion or a mat ."?Minneapolis Journal. J ???????? Salt Water Cataraots. are a good raauy salt water raUrsen in exlateuce. They may be fessnd In Norway, southern Chile an I British Columbia, where narrow fiord*, or arms of the sea. are obstructed DJ barrlers of rock. The rising tide flows, over aud filters through such reefs gate Ifta greet natural reservoirs beyond, but the water Is held back at the ebb until It breaks or er the ohetmctlou In an ir-eslstlble torrent. Most curious Of sll It the waterfall at Canoe Pa*> sage. there the Island of Vancouver approaches the British Columbia main land. fl?*re m, flood tide from the gulf of Georgia lo the southward Is I ftaei back at a narrow cleft between Islands until It pours over In a ? seade eighteen feet high, with j parna:** doubl' the volume of the \ At the turn of 'be tide, how the water* fivra (he north rush back Into the ,ulf. producing a cade of equal heir at aud volume. The waterfall actus !fj flows both ways. In the Spring. The country seboolteacber had been tallftv her scholars about the aeasous th??ir peculiarities, and to Impress minds with the facta she ques them upon the points she had Sever 11 queries bad been pu?. I ond on^M^ fei* reached the stupid boy In the corner "Well. Johnny." aha said, "have you 1 been paying utteutlon?" MTee'm." he answered promptly. 'Tfti r'^d lo hear N WOfi "nr* pat tall geo what there is In the ipringV" "Tea'aa. I ran. but 1 don't want to " f '?Ob. ypn, ?oii do X?u*t ?>e afraid. I Ton he*, e 1 e.it 1 in* other . Be a g< bay. now. and tell us what there Is iu , the spring " ?*W*y?w'y?mum, there's a frog an' a thuird an' a dead cat in it. but I didn't put 'em there. It was another boy. for I seen him do it."?Exchange. Sending a Man to Coventry. The expression "sending to OOTSg tr> had a military origin. It at ft so It Is said, in the days of Charles L, wheu the Inhabitants of Coventry strongly ob.'eeted to any Intercourse with the military uuurtered in their town, and a woman known to speak to a n.an in a scurlet cloak was ut on sj the subj.it of scandal. So rigid trOTO the natives that the soldier-was con? test! to the mess p urn for conversa? tion. Thus the term "sending a man to Coventry" if you wished to shut him from SQcittj took r?*>t iu the Kngli ill language.?London Chronicle. Distance* at Sea. That man was laughed at who on his first voyage Saul that the ocean ?did not look so large as kej supposed u woukl. lau be was ftat ftltfM in ex/' rWncitig disappointinent. The horizon at se*; gives D ? idea of tin* limitless water bayoad, A aeu captain declared that the grange landsmau cannot see more than ten niles from In- ship in any direction u it would huve lo 1,.. a mountain or some stationary <> for hliu to be able to distinguish It. Th? Frao Riders. "A good i?.n> people get on this earth who aren't Worth the room th \ take op." aald the cynical sociologist ? \ repii- d tli nt astrouo gear. ' It's a good tgggg for many of ua that we i.i?* lot obliged to g? t aboard this whirling planet on a pa.. I * you outer baaU."- Washington star. Th# Dr ctor's Viewpoint. Buxom W'l?lo\v ?Di you ftftuutfttgftl the language of flowers. Dr. Crusty? Dr. Crusty uiu old bachelor) .\... ma'am Widow You don't know if yellow means Jealousy? Dr. Crusty - No, ma'am, yellow menus biliousness A Popular Dcctor. Blinker*- Mow did sinh au Igl ? ramus as Dr. De Sharpp u'et such a large gf. SSoaftg Ifta wealthiest people? Kllv'.er Whenever a million air.- gtta aj \ he tell* him It's ffd I overwork. Maw York Weekly. TH i Dear Friends. Maud Yom <a> Ja. k SfttS prop to yon. I ?! n't believe It. He ' ] wga the only woman he ever loved. Ktbel Yes. ir. but he didn't I mo a mom; v n*n. He used to call in.* bis s n gel. _ Happiness !ns a way of hovering near those a mse flr*t wish U to make others hspp> Chicago Record Herald. Nothing Is dfTkult: It Is only we who are Indolent.? liaydon. ESAViORV. TEACHING*^ -GLORY TO GOD IN THE HIGHEST" Dtcombar 25 "For unto you I* born thl? day Si the City of Hark, a Sartor, tchUh i* L'hrtit the Lord, lake ftjli GOD'S promise that the Seed of Abraham should ultimately bleaa all nations has Influenced thought the world over, but partlcu larly amongst those nations living con? tiguous to Abraham's home and north ward and westward from there, in the directions in which the message of Di Tlne favor baa gone. At first the Jews thought of this promise as being ful? filled In them as a nation?that, with? out aaslstaace from on High, they could approve themselves to God through obedience to the Law Cove? nant, and that then, as Instructors of the world, they would teach all nations to keep that Divine Law, and thus bring the world to the blessed state of perfection. Divine favor ami life ever? lasting. This hope was crushed out as they found themselves uuable to keep fit ^rt/V'yr#rr MWU|%Sj96ssSS*4 ssj Issp taxed (fa mmY/mxiVie *s tie stonoffeevm ** ' " - ? 1/'ITr-*iSB>' the Law, going Mow into death, lu stead of attaining to perfection of life. Hhre*> Moses, the special servant of God, could not. and did not. attain the b.esalng of the I .a v. Then God made them the promise of i some better thing?of a greater Medi-1 ator and of a more successful Cove nant through that Mediator. The Me? diator of tfcsj v. i Covenant (Jer. * than Moses; as he himself declared, "A Prophet shall the !>>rd your Cod raise up unto you from amongst your breth- J ren like unto me (but greater)?him' shall ye hear In all things whatsoever he shall speak unto you. And It shall Come to pass that the soul that will not obey that Prophet shall be destroy? ed from amongst the people." (Acts 3: 22, ?3 .? Th* Desire of All Nations" As surrounding nations and those afar off heard of Israel's hopes?that to them would QOffM a great Savior, Deliverer, who would bless them and exalt them In the world and through them bless all peoples, the beauty of the thought took root In every direc? tion. Messiah was more or less l<x>kod for under various names, ntul the glo? ries of his Kingdom were pictured by heathen poets as the Golden Age. Thus It happened that when our Lord was born, when he was made flesh and d welt amongst us. "All men were In exportation of him"- not of Jesus, but of the pfOalsjSjd Messiah, whom Je? sus was. Thus It was that wise men In the Kast were attracted to see and to worship him that was born King of the Jews. Thus It was also that during Jesus' ministry certain Creek* came to the disciples saying, "Sirs, wc would see Jesus " They had heard of him and recognized that In some re? spects his magic power Implied a re? lationship with the long-exi>ected Mes? siah. And so it was with the multi? tudes of Palestine. They heard; tbsy listened. They said. Is this he? The rulers said. No. this Is not the Messiah. Then the people asked. When Messiah cometh euu he do greater works than this man? Never man spake like this man! Nevertheless, there were few ready to receive him. even amongst his own only "Israelit?-- Indssd," to whom, bs> cause of worthiness ?' heart. God Rpe clally revealed his Buy, This was In harmony with the prophscy of old. ?The SSCftt of the Lord Is With them that rSTSfsnce Bin and hi will ihow them bil Co\?nant." (Psn. 'J."?:14.) \? again it is written, "I win give him for a Covenant Of the peopls." (Isa. 4i>:H.? Neither tows nor Greeks nor Persian wise men know to expect thai Messiah would first appear to offer hlrasslf, through obedience to the Truth, a living sacrifice for sinners, None "f them knew Ihnl a long perl? d inns: t*ln|Nie from the Ilms when Mes< slab Would be the man of sorrows and acquainted with grlsf, of whom tin people would be ashamed, until he would nppear In power and great glory to establish hi i l'.uiplre under the whole hssjTsns, hi fulfillment of the prophetic picture ??f Daniel 3 Mj Tin. M '-'". I'ew undcrstand God's great secret or "in.\sf< r>" hidden during past Iges and dlspensnttons ICol, I 2(1), that, dur? ing this long period of the Oespel Ag< a saintly "little flock" would !>.? select sd from smongsl men to !>?? Messiah') Hrtde, and Joint betf with him In hli MSSSMIltC felgll I'ew see that this Philosophy Ii nothing but dlscrs tlon.?John tsldtB. "little flock" has been select* rt during : these nineteen cent urles from every 1 nation, ptOplt, kindred and tongue, and that they are all saints, in the spirit of their minds, at least, and fol? low the Land), whithersoever he gooth, walking In the footsteps of Jesus. Few understand that, as soon as these Joint-saerlfieers with the Master shall have filled op tin' measure of afillr Uona Appointed, then the Kingdom of glory will he revealed and all flesh shall see It together and all shall be blessed by It. A 8avior?Christ the Lord l It was prophetically, of course, that j the Rgbo of Bethlehem was called a i Savior?he was to be a Savior, The Christ, the Lord. But as the Babe he ! was none of these. He became The j Christ before becoming the Savior aud Lord. The word Christ signifies anoint? ed. In the Divine purpose it 'vas ar? ranged that Messiah should be anoint? ed High Priest of Israel on a higher plane than Aaron?after the order of Melchlsedec. (Psalm 110:4.) And ev? ery priest must be anointed to his of? fice before he could fill It. Similarly, It was prophesied that Christ would j be the great King, greater than David and Solomon, who were his types and 1 foreshadows. The anointing of Jesus was not with literal oil, but with that which the oil upon the head of the kings and priests of Israel typified?the holy Spirit. He received this holy Spirit at e time of his baptism, the Spirit falling upon him and abiding with him. anointing hlra for his great work of antltyplcal Priest and antltyplcal King of Israel, who, as the Messiah long-promised, would bless them, and through them, the world. But every priest was or* dalned to offer both gifts and sacri? fices for sins, and In this ulso they typified Jesus, who, under the Divinft arrangement, must first offer up him? self as a sacrifice acceptable to God for the sin of mankind?In order that he might be the Savior or Deliverer of men from the curse of sin and death? that he might restore them and their earthly home to the glorious condition of perfection represented In Adam and his Eden home. Hence It w-as neces? sary that Jesus should not only conse? crate his life to the Divine service and ' > anointed with the holy Spirit, but titSt, sacrlflclttlly, he should lay down hie life, even unto death?even the death of the cross. As a part of his reward he was raised to glory, honor and Immortality, on the third day thereafter. Ab tho glorified One he was now fully commissioned and empowered to establish the long-pro nlsed Messianic Kingdom, but hus been waiting while a "little flock" have walked in his foot? steps?until the elect number shall be Completed and shall share his glory. Then his Kingdom will take the control j of earth. Satan shall be bound for a thousand years and all the wonder- I ful blessings promised In the Law and t.h? Prophets and Gospels and Epistles | shall be fulfilled. "A Savior and a Great One" We have seen how tho Son of God : attained his Priestly Office, for the sacrifice of himself; how he was anointed thereto, and also anointed to be the great King, aud how he has l>een ' merely waiting for the due time for , his Kingdom to begin. Now we In quire as to the force and significance of the word Savior, and SOW he saves his people from their sins: In the Arabic, Savior signifies life- ' giver. The Redeemer, glorified as the antltyplcal Melchlsedec, "a priest upon his throne." is to be the Savior or life giver of the race, for whose sin and becuuse of whose condemnation he rA*+r*#/ m? 4 m?/mr*t/e .VW God**/** 4Wd died "the Just for the unjust, to bring us back to God." some during this Age and some during the period of his Ifeuslantc reign. Gradually bo, with his saintly Bride class, win uplift hu? manity from sin and death to right? eousness and life eternal and will de? stroy ail who refuse the blessing tu the Second Death, from which there will be no hope Of recovery. But the Christ, the Savior of Glory. Bride and Bridegroom, will, unitedly, be the world's Savior. The glorified Redeemer saves his church lirst by a special salvation and High ('ailing. These are the "elect/' called to suffer with hbn Slid, if faithful, to reign with him on the lleawnly plane, These arc dealt with OOW 00 the basis of faith: the) pass from death unto life by the exercise of faith and their en rerlug Into a Covenant with God, of sacrifice, through the merit of the Re daemer, 'I heir salvation will be made actual when they shall share In his resurrect Ion, the "Firs! Resurrection," gad become kings and priests unto God, to reign with Christ a thousand yoara. Rev, 20:0, TO fall at all Is to fail utterly. Lowell. Mated. Any one with half an eye could see that be was madly in love with her, but he had not courage enough to put his fate to the test. But she was a young lady who knew her way about, us the saying goes, and one night sin- I ?uggeated ti game of cbeas. He, poor fellow, eagerly swallowed the bait. If he was a novice at lovemaking he was certainly no novice at chess, and hi' Soon had the fair maid hopelessly beaten. "Ah!" he exclaimed as he pm her in a hopeless corner. "You're in a tight corner now. Miss Mabel." She looked at him with those beaut1 ful eyes of hers and then said: "I hadn't noticed any compression. George. Have 1 no escape?" "None whatever." said the guileless George. "I shall mate you next move." "Oh. George!" said she. with a be? coming blush. "Er?hadn't you better ask father firstV" They are married now. and George often wonders if she is as dense at chess as she would make him believe. Lincoln With His Children. It was a frequent custom of Lincoln, this of carrying his children on his shoulder. He rarely went down street that he did not have one of his young cr boys mounted on his shoulder, while another hung to the tail of his long coat. The antics of the boys with their father and the species of tyranny they exercised over him are still sub? jects of talk in Springfield. Mr. Ro? land DIUsr, who was a neighbor of Mr. Lincoln, told one of the best of the stories. lie was called to the dooi one day by hearing a ;;reat noise of children crying, and there was Mr. Lincoln striding by with the boys, both of whom were wailing aloud. "Why. Mr. Lincoln, what's the matter with the boys?" he asked. "Just wheat's the matter with the whole world," Lincoln replied. "I've %ot three walnuts and each wants two." ? From Tarbell'l "Life of Lin? coln." Paying For Extras. In one of the luxurious golf club houses in the south of England a visi tor approached the steward and asked for a luncheon ticket "Five shillings." said the official. "That's rather a lot, isn't it?" inquir? ed the visitor. "A lot? Think of the cost of this club. See those pictures? They're worth thousands of pounds. And those tapestries? Their value Is simply euonnous." On the following day the visitor again asked for a luncheon ticket and tendered half a crown. "I've already told you, sir," said the steward, "that the charge Is five shil? lings." "Yes, I know," was the reply, "but I only want half a crown's worth today. I saw the pictures and the tapestries yesterday."?World of Golf. Dynamite. The action of dyuamite is compara? tively precise. The tiring point is 180 degrees C. At that temperature It either burnt, or explodes. If free from all pressure, jar, vibration or force of any kind it merely burns. That is how it comes about that one can burn dynamite safely in the hand if all conditions be wholly favorable. But any least vibration from such requi? site! w ill cause an explosion, which is an excellent reason for avoiding too intimate ventures with the compound. When ignited in small quantities in the open air dynamite docs nothing more startling than to burn fiercely. When, however, larger quantities are ignited explosion almost invariably re? sults, as the temperature is raised by the flames.?Chicago Record-Herald. Old Time Carving. An ancient book on carving says j that the only meat! that were "carv? ed" were mutton and beef. You had to "break a deer, rear a goose, lift a J swan, sauce a capon, spoil a hen. J frush a chicken, unbrace a mallard. , unlace a cony, dismount a heron, dis? play a crane, disfigure a peacock, un? join! a bittern, untack a curlew, alaye a pheasant, wing a partridge or a quail, mince a plover, thigh a pigeon or any other small bird and border a game pie." Fascination of Golf. "I've 'card of Nero a-playing on 'is fiddle, sir, when 'is 'ome was a-burn Ing." said the landlady, putting down the local paper, "but this 'ere game of golf must be the most faskinating 'obby in the world. I've been reading about the tilt* up at the golf ground last Friday, and it says, 'Tin? lire bri? gade-; promptly responded to the call, and when darkness closed in they were still playing upon tin' ruins of the clubhouse.' "?Golf illustrated. Fooled Him. "Why am I like a pin?" asked Mr. Jones triumphantly of his wife. 11?. expected she \>as going to say. "Be? cause you are so sharp." and he was ?Imply paralysed w hen she replied: "Be* ause if you should gel lost it wouldn't be Worth while to spend time look lug for y on." Y(:. hi ) Wst Good. "Wore you a go id boy in school to day?" "I think so. dad. Anyway, teacher called me a holy terror." Buffalo Ex? press. Liv^d on W.-ucr. Tin? Tramp 1 once lived on water, lady, for vi\ mouths. The Lady y??n don't look 111 it. How did you man age it V 'i he ran |i I was a sailor. To have failed Is lo have striven: to have striven is lo have grown. Mai* hie I? BnbeoH Never let familiarity exclude re jpoct.?J. Vanbrugh. '^atasaessSgegeaVgeaVgSaYBB Little Pitchers. Tn n certain small town there art two young women whose favorite oc? cupation lias been to discuss the af? fairs of tbeli neighbors. Having met for that purpose one afternoon, tbej found themselves blocked in the In? dulgence of their pastime hy the pros ence of the small daughter of the iiosiess a slight Indisposition of some sort prevented sending the child , out of doors, so they were forced to put up with her presence, doing their best, however, to nullify it. Something eatable was produced atid an absorbing new game invented which she could play quite by herself, so they breathed freely and began. The talk at length reached a point involving the latest scandal of the neighborhood and the retailing of some Inside information which must not become public property. A hurried look at the child on the floor found her apparently so occupied with her game that It seemed quite safe to go on If one observed a decent discretion Voices were accordingly lowered and direct allusion veiled, but when the matter had been thrashed out to their satisfaction the child raised her eyes and remarked with deliberation and emphasis: "I hear. T know. I understand, and 1*11 btab!"?New York Times. Books and Their Csre. Books on shelves may be seriously injured if packed too tightly. When quickly pulled out for use the top of the book Is likely to come off. More? over, the constant pressure, if too great, will loosen the whole back In time and the friction in putting upon and taking from the shelf mars the covers. On the other hand, a reason? able amount of lateral pressure is necessary. If placed on the shelves too loosely the leaves tend to open and admit dust, dampness and conse quent mildew. In the case of heavy volumes the weight of the leaves will be found resting on the shelves If the books are placed too loosely. This is likely to make the backs concave. Badly painted shelves are another source of injury to books. Care should be taken when paint or varnish Is used that the surface Is perfectly smooth, hard and dry when the books are put In place and that the surface will re? main so during variation of tempera? ture or humidity.?House Beautiful. An Anecdote of Pope. There is an old anecdote of Alexan? der Tope concerning one of the old watermen who were employed for many years In rowing Pope on the Thames. Pope wus in the habit of having his sedan chair lifted into the punt If the weather was fine he let down the glasses; If cold he pulled them up. He would sometimes say to the waterman: "John. I am going to repeat some verses. Take care to remember them the oext time I go out." When that time came Pope would say: "John, where are the verses I told you of?" "I have forgotten them, sir" "John, you are n blockhead. I must write them down for you." John said that no one thought of saying when speaking of him. "Mr. Pope." but ihat he was always called "Mr. Alexander." The Original Eneyciopedia. The tlrst real encyclopedia was Pliny's "Natural History." This work was an extensive oue. numbering some i thirty-seven volumes and dealing with all the then known facts of the world Pliny, who died A. IK 7!>. collected tin data for his work in his leisure inter vals while engaged In public affairs The "Natural History" was for its time an amazing production, treated of some 20,000 facts and was of very high au? thority throughout the entire middle ages. Forty three editions of the work were printed before the year lf?tt. and no scholar's library was considered complete without it.?New York Amer? ican. Wakeful Night. A rather imaginative Washington lady decided she had insomnia. She couldn't sleep, she said. One mom lug she was more than usually dc pressed ??What's the matter, dear?" asked the husband. "Another sleepless night V" "Worse than that." she replied gloomily. "1 did manage to drop off to sleep, rind I dreamed all the time 1 was asleep tint 1 was awake ." ? Phil? adelphia Saturday Kvenlug Post. Made the Rhyme. "Carpet" rhymes with no Single word, but some bold poet dared to evade the difficulty thus: "Sweet maid of the inn. 'tis surely no sin to toast such a beautiful bar pet; believe me. my dear, your feet would appear at home on a nobleman's carpet."- London Answers. Cynical. "The course of true love doesn't al? ways run smooth." sighed the young Widow. "That's right," rejoined the old bach elor. ??Sometimes it ei ds In mar? riage " Chicago Sews. Many Meanings. Traveler-Some expressions in the Chinese language have as many as forty different mennlnga Little Miss sann- way In English. "You amaze me Mention one." "Not at h ?me." The beloved of the Almighty are th* rich who have the humility of the poor and the poop who have the magnanim? ity of the rich.?Sr.adl. We talk little if we do not talk shout ourselves.?Hazlltt. Know the Stars Ir the Dragon? Winding In nod <>ut batwses the ?tars ol the Great and Little Dipper Is the consteilatlutt of the Dragon. The tip of the tail lies between the pole star In the Little Dipper and the pointers In the Great Dipper, but DUCh B?Per the latter and only a few degrees, below the pointers, The rest of the constellation, outlined with faint stars, curves downward and around the Little Dipper, when with a final coil It terminates with the two bright stars (iamtna and Beta, which mark the head of the Dragon, or. in fact, its eyes. Aratus in describing the constellations speaks of the Dragon as "with eyes oblique retorted, that askant cast gleaming tire." Its leading star. Alpha, near the tail of the Dragon and halfway between Mizar (the middle star In the handle of the Great Dipper) and the lowest star in the bowl of the Little Dipper. Is known by the name of Thuban. Four thousand years ago It was the pole star.?Mary Proctor in Chicago Tribune. Do*s Your Cat Cough? Poor pussy! As if the Immemorial charges against her of keeping us awake o' nights and of eating canary birds wheuever she gets the eh.?nee were not enough, the doctors have just discovered that for years she has been responsible for the spread of diphthe? ria. Dr. G. J. Awburn of Manches'er. England, having traced an epidemic of this disease in a suburb of that city to a pet cat belonging to one of his patients, has found, after much clever Investigation, that all cats are pecul? iarly susceptible to diphtheritic affec? tions of the throat. He has therefore recently been warning alt families who own cats to watch them carefully and if they develop coughs to forbid their being hugged and petted. Dr. Awburn further recommends that If the cough persists and the cat begins to grow thin to have th? animal de? stroyed at once. The only really safe way, he says, Is to let the first wheeze be pussy's death warrant?New York World. Left to a Worse Fate. The business man was sitting in bis office thinking of starting for home when a suspicious looking person came in with a leather bag In his hand. "If you don't give me ?5," said the visitor, coming at once to the point "I will drop this on th* floor." The business man was cool "What Is in Itr he asked. "Dynamite," was the brief reply. "What will it do if you drop it?" "Blow you up!" "Drop It!" was the Instant com? mand. "My wife told me when I left home this morning to be sure to send up a bag of flour, and 1 forgot It i guess it will take just abour, as much dynamite us you have there to p^pare me for the blowing up I'll get wtu-u she sees me!" "I'm a married man myself," said the dynamiter and quietly slipped out ?Illustrated Bits. Shied at the Price. A noted painter said at the Art club In Philadelphia, apropos of picture prices: "1 am glad there are not many buy? ers like an old farmer in Center Bridge. A very distinguished etcher, sketching in Center Bridge, made a study of the farmer's bam. The farmer happened to appear and said he'd like to have the sketch. " ?Bf 'tain t too dear.* he added cau? tiously. " *Oh,' said the etcher, who makes $12.000 a year, *1 won't charge you anything for the sketch, but'? "Iiis eye lighted on the pigpen. " 'But I'll tell you what. You can give me one of those nice little pink sucking pigs there.' "'Why. man.' said the farmer with a frown. Mo ye know what them pigs is worth? They're worth a dollar apiece' "?Exchange. Strong on Length. Richard Carte engaged as cook a Swedish giantess who proved unsatis? factory Ob departure she asked for a written testimonial, and Dr. Carle presented her with the following: "To whom it may concern: 1 have lately had in my employ Hulda Swau 8on. who was engaged to cook for a family of three and do such other things as wont be possible when not COOklng. I nder this head might come a little dusting and dishwashing and Answering the doorbell. Taking ail these things into account. I wish to say that Hulda Is absolutely the tallest cook I ever saw "-Success Magazine. The Poet Again. lie had lOttg hair and a pensive look. He wrote a poem entitled "Why Do 1 Live?" He signed it Augustus and sent it to a ma : t/.ine The editor wrote hiss as follows: "My de.::- Augustus, the reason why you live Is because you sent the poem by maii Instead I bringing It person? ally."-Paris Modes a\ Hj rsh Order. On the beach near an English town s sign benrin 1 ? rend was nailed to a post ? "\ ?" n ? ? ii. ? beyond this point will lie d "owued By order of the iiingtrftm te " A Ge*t Help. Scribbler- i understand your wife is of great value to yon In your work: I had no idea she was literary. S. raw lor ?She Isn't, bill she never attempts to straighten out my desk.?Philadelphia Record. A bad man Is worse when he pr? tends to be a saint - Bacon. All art Is In Its origin connected with religion.?Ulrlcl.