The watchman and southron. (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, December 21, 1910, Image 7
^
I
Amending Hit Constitution.
A well kuowu attorney of heavy
build aud pompous to a degree that
frequently reu c bee the state of being
overlies ring was leavlug his office lu
? Broad street building the other day.
With Dls hlgb hat on and carrying g I
walking stick, he bad stepped npon the
sidewalk when he slipped and lauded
Bat upon the pavement with a thud
that shocked him as well as cause?!
embarrassment
Just then another attorn.?> who ff>
joys su equal distinction in the ie.
world passed and laughed at the fab
lawyer. When the latter was trying
to get up he r? marked to the other:
"1 guess 1 am getting old. Ml
?tltution will not stand what It did
years ago."
As be arose to his feet his friend
facetiously remarked. "Well, th aft,
Dirk, you ought to get an amendine:
to your constitution."
letting at his friend with a cold
stare, as cold as the ice he had fallen
npon. he asked:
"Well, what kind of an amendmeut
won Id you suggest. If you know so
much .'"
"1 dou't know exactly." was the re?
ply. "I don't give advice to my clients
without some kind of a retainer, but
as you are an old frleud of mine 1
would suggest a cushion or a mat
."?Minneapolis Journal. J
????????
Salt Water Cataraots.
are a good raauy salt water
raUrsen in exlateuce. They may be
fessnd In Norway, southern Chile an I
British Columbia, where narrow fiord*,
or arms of the sea. are obstructed DJ
barrlers of rock. The rising tide flows,
over aud filters through such reefs gate
Ifta greet natural reservoirs beyond,
but the water Is held back at the ebb
until It breaks or er the ohetmctlou In
an ir-eslstlble torrent. Most curious
Of sll It the waterfall at Canoe Pa*>
sage. there the Island of Vancouver
approaches the British Columbia main
land. fl?*re m, flood tide from the
gulf of Georgia lo the southward Is I
ftaei back at a narrow cleft between
Islands until It pours over In a
? seade eighteen feet high, with j
parna:** doubl' the volume of the \
At the turn of 'be tide, how
the water* fivra (he north rush
back Into the ,ulf. producing a
cade of equal heir at aud volume. The
waterfall actus !fj flows both ways.
In the Spring.
The country seboolteacber had been
tallftv her scholars about the aeasous
th??ir peculiarities, and to Impress
minds with the facta she ques
them upon the points she had
Sever 11 queries bad been pu?.
I ond on^M^ fei* reached the stupid boy
In the corner
"Well. Johnny." aha said, "have you 1
been paying utteutlon?"
MTee'm." he answered promptly.
'Tfti r'^d lo hear N WOfi "nr* pat
tall geo what there is In the ipringV"
"Tea'aa. I ran. but 1 don't want to "
f '?Ob. ypn, ?oii do X?u*t ?>e afraid.
I Ton he*, e 1 e.it 1 in* other . Be a g<
bay. now. and tell us what there Is iu ,
the spring "
?*W*y?w'y?mum, there's a frog an'
a thuird an' a dead cat in it. but I
didn't put 'em there. It was another
boy. for I seen him do it."?Exchange.
Sending a Man to Coventry.
The expression "sending to OOTSg
tr> had a military origin. It at ft
so It Is said, in the days of Charles
L, wheu the Inhabitants of Coventry
strongly ob.'eeted to any Intercourse
with the military uuurtered in their
town, and a woman known to speak
to a n.an in a scurlet cloak was ut on sj
the subj.it of scandal. So rigid trOTO
the natives that the soldier-was con?
test! to the mess p urn for conversa?
tion. Thus the term "sending a man to
Coventry" if you wished to shut him
from SQcittj took r?*>t iu the Kngli ill
language.?London Chronicle.
Distance* at Sea.
That man was laughed at who on
his first voyage Saul that the ocean
?did not look so large as kej supposed u
woukl. lau be was ftat ftltfM in ex/'
rWncitig disappointinent. The horizon
at se*; gives D ? idea of tin* limitless
water bayoad, A aeu captain declared
that the grange landsmau cannot see
more than ten niles from In- ship in
any direction u it would huve lo 1,..
a mountain or some stationary <>
for hliu to be able to distinguish It.
Th? Frao Riders.
"A good i?.n> people get on this
earth who aren't Worth the room th \
take op." aald the cynical sociologist
? \ repii- d tli nt astrouo
gear. ' It's a good tgggg for many of
ua that we i.i?* lot obliged to g? t
aboard this whirling planet on a pa.. I *
you outer baaU."- Washington star.
Th# Dr ctor's Viewpoint.
Buxom W'l?lo\v ?Di you ftftuutfttgftl
the language of flowers. Dr. Crusty?
Dr. Crusty uiu old bachelor) .\...
ma'am Widow You don't know if
yellow means Jealousy? Dr. Crusty -
No, ma'am, yellow menus biliousness
A Popular Dcctor.
Blinker*- Mow did sinh au Igl ?
ramus as Dr. De Sharpp u'et such a
large gf. SSoaftg Ifta wealthiest
people? Kllv'.er Whenever a million
air.- gtta aj \ he tell* him It's ffd I
overwork. Maw York Weekly.
TH i Dear Friends.
Maud Yom <a> Ja. k SfttS prop
to yon. I ?! n't believe It. He '
] wga the only woman he ever loved.
Ktbel Yes. ir. but he didn't I
mo a mom; v n*n. He used to call in.*
bis s n gel. _
Happiness !ns a way of hovering
near those a mse flr*t wish U to make
others hspp> Chicago Record Herald.
Nothing Is dfTkult: It Is only we
who are Indolent.? liaydon.
ESAViORV. TEACHING*^
-GLORY TO GOD IN THE HIGHEST"
Dtcombar 25
"For unto you I* born thl? day Si the City of
Hark, a Sartor, tchUh i* L'hrtit the Lord,
lake ftjli
GOD'S promise that the Seed of
Abraham should ultimately
bleaa all nations has Influenced
thought the world over, but partlcu
larly amongst those nations living con?
tiguous to Abraham's home and north
ward and westward from there, in the
directions in which the message of Di
Tlne favor baa gone. At first the Jews
thought of this promise as being ful?
filled In them as a nation?that, with?
out aaslstaace from on High, they
could approve themselves to God
through obedience to the Law Cove?
nant, and that then, as Instructors of
the world, they would teach all nations
to keep that Divine Law, and thus
bring the world to the blessed state of
perfection. Divine favor ami life ever?
lasting. This hope was crushed out as
they found themselves uuable to keep
fit ^rt/V'yr#rr MWU|%Sj96ssSS*4 ssj
Issp taxed (fa mmY/mxiVie *s tie stonoffeevm
** ' " - ? 1/'ITr-*iSB>'
the Law, going Mow into death, lu
stead of attaining to perfection of life.
Hhre*> Moses, the special servant of
God, could not. and did not. attain the
b.esalng of the I .a v.
Then God made them the promise of i
some better thing?of a greater Medi-1
ator and of a more successful Cove
nant through that Mediator. The Me?
diator of tfcsj v. i Covenant (Jer.
* than Moses;
as he himself declared, "A Prophet
shall the !>>rd your Cod raise up
unto you from amongst your breth- J
ren like unto me (but greater)?him'
shall ye hear In all things whatsoever
he shall speak unto you. And It shall
Come to pass that the soul that will
not obey that Prophet shall be destroy?
ed from amongst the people." (Acts 3:
22, ?3 .?
Th* Desire of All Nations"
As surrounding nations and those
afar off heard of Israel's hopes?that
to them would QOffM a great Savior,
Deliverer, who would bless them and
exalt them In the world and through
them bless all peoples, the beauty of
the thought took root In every direc?
tion. Messiah was more or less l<x>kod
for under various names, ntul the glo?
ries of his Kingdom were pictured by
heathen poets as the Golden Age.
Thus It happened that when our Lord
was born, when he was made flesh
and d welt amongst us. "All men were
In exportation of him"- not of Jesus,
but of the pfOalsjSjd Messiah, whom Je?
sus was. Thus It was that wise men
In the Kast were attracted to see and
to worship him that was born King
of the Jews. Thus It was also that
during Jesus' ministry certain Creek*
came to the disciples saying, "Sirs, wc
would see Jesus " They had heard of
him and recognized that In some re?
spects his magic power Implied a re?
lationship with the long-exi>ected Mes?
siah. And so it was with the multi?
tudes of Palestine. They heard; tbsy
listened. They said. Is this he? The
rulers said. No. this Is not the Messiah.
Then the people asked. When Messiah
cometh euu he do greater works than
this man? Never man spake like this
man!
Nevertheless, there were few ready
to receive him. even amongst his own
only "Israelit?-- Indssd," to whom, bs>
cause of worthiness ?' heart. God Rpe
clally revealed his Buy, This was In
harmony with the prophscy of old.
?The SSCftt of the Lord Is With them
that rSTSfsnce Bin and hi will ihow
them bil Co\?nant." (Psn. 'J."?:14.) \?
again it is written, "I win give him
for a Covenant Of the peopls." (Isa.
4i>:H.? Neither tows nor Greeks nor
Persian wise men know to expect thai
Messiah would first appear to offer
hlrasslf, through obedience to the
Truth, a living sacrifice for sinners,
None "f them knew Ihnl a long perl? d
inns: t*ln|Nie from the Ilms when Mes<
slab Would be the man of sorrows and
acquainted with grlsf, of whom tin
people would be ashamed, until he
would nppear In power and great glory
to establish hi i l'.uiplre under the whole
hssjTsns, hi fulfillment of the prophetic
picture ??f Daniel 3 Mj Tin. M '-'".
I'ew undcrstand God's great secret
or "in.\sf< r>" hidden during past Iges
and dlspensnttons ICol, I 2(1), that, dur?
ing this long period of the Oespel Ag<
a saintly "little flock" would !>.? select
sd from smongsl men to !>?? Messiah')
Hrtde, and Joint betf with him In hli
MSSSMIltC felgll I'ew see that this
Philosophy Ii nothing but dlscrs
tlon.?John tsldtB.
"little flock" has been select* rt during :
these nineteen cent urles from every 1
nation, ptOplt, kindred and tongue,
and that they are all saints, in the
spirit of their minds, at least, and fol?
low the Land), whithersoever he gooth,
walking In the footsteps of Jesus.
Few understand that, as soon as these
Joint-saerlfieers with the Master shall
have filled op tin' measure of afillr
Uona Appointed, then the Kingdom of
glory will he revealed and all flesh
shall see It together and all shall be
blessed by It.
A 8avior?Christ the Lord
l
It was prophetically, of course, that j
the Rgbo of Bethlehem was called a i
Savior?he was to be a Savior, The
Christ, the Lord. But as the Babe he !
was none of these. He became The j
Christ before becoming the Savior aud
Lord. The word Christ signifies anoint?
ed. In the Divine purpose it 'vas ar?
ranged that Messiah should be anoint?
ed High Priest of Israel on a higher
plane than Aaron?after the order of
Melchlsedec. (Psalm 110:4.) And ev?
ery priest must be anointed to his of?
fice before he could fill It. Similarly,
It was prophesied that Christ would j
be the great King, greater than David
and Solomon, who were his types and 1
foreshadows.
The anointing of Jesus was not with
literal oil, but with that which the oil
upon the head of the kings and priests
of Israel typified?the holy Spirit. He
received this holy Spirit at e time of
his baptism, the Spirit falling upon
him and abiding with him. anointing
hlra for his great work of antltyplcal
Priest and antltyplcal King of Israel,
who, as the Messiah long-promised,
would bless them, and through them,
the world. But every priest was or*
dalned to offer both gifts and sacri?
fices for sins, and In this ulso they
typified Jesus, who, under the Divinft
arrangement, must first offer up him?
self as a sacrifice acceptable to God
for the sin of mankind?In order that
he might be the Savior or Deliverer of
men from the curse of sin and death?
that he might restore them and their
earthly home to the glorious condition
of perfection represented In Adam and
his Eden home. Hence It w-as neces?
sary that Jesus should not only conse?
crate his life to the Divine service and
' > anointed with the holy Spirit, but
titSt, sacrlflclttlly, he should lay down
hie life, even unto death?even the
death of the cross. As a part of his
reward he was raised to glory, honor
and Immortality, on the third day
thereafter.
Ab tho glorified One he was now
fully commissioned and empowered to
establish the long-pro nlsed Messianic
Kingdom, but hus been waiting while a
"little flock" have walked in his foot?
steps?until the elect number shall be
Completed and shall share his glory.
Then his Kingdom will take the control j
of earth. Satan shall be bound for
a thousand years and all the wonder- I
ful blessings promised In the Law and
t.h? Prophets and Gospels and Epistles |
shall be fulfilled.
"A Savior and a Great One"
We have seen how tho Son of God :
attained his Priestly Office, for the
sacrifice of himself; how he was
anointed thereto, and also anointed to
be the great King, aud how he has l>een '
merely waiting for the due time for ,
his Kingdom to begin. Now we In
quire as to the force and significance
of the word Savior, and SOW he saves
his people from their sins:
In the Arabic, Savior signifies life- '
giver. The Redeemer, glorified as the
antltyplcal Melchlsedec, "a priest upon
his throne." is to be the Savior or life
giver of the race, for whose sin and
becuuse of whose condemnation he
rA*+r*#/ m? 4 m?/mr*t/e .VW God**/** 4Wd
died "the Just for the unjust, to bring
us back to God." some during this
Age and some during the period of his
Ifeuslantc reign. Gradually bo, with
his saintly Bride class, win uplift hu?
manity from sin and death to right?
eousness and life eternal and will de?
stroy ail who refuse the blessing tu
the Second Death, from which there
will be no hope Of recovery.
But the Christ, the Savior of Glory.
Bride and Bridegroom, will, unitedly,
be the world's Savior. The glorified
Redeemer saves his church lirst by
a special salvation and High ('ailing.
These are the "elect/' called to suffer
with hbn Slid, if faithful, to reign with
him on the lleawnly plane, These
arc dealt with OOW 00 the basis of
faith: the) pass from death unto life
by the exercise of faith and their en
rerlug Into a Covenant with God, of
sacrifice, through the merit of the Re
daemer, 'I heir salvation will be made
actual when they shall share In his
resurrect Ion, the "Firs! Resurrection,"
gad become kings and priests unto
God, to reign with Christ a thousand
yoara. Rev, 20:0,
TO fall at all Is to fail utterly.
Lowell.
Mated.
Any one with half an eye could see
that be was madly in love with her,
but he had not courage enough to put
his fate to the test. But she was a
young lady who knew her way about,
us the saying goes, and one night sin- I
?uggeated ti game of cbeas. He, poor
fellow, eagerly swallowed the bait. If
he was a novice at lovemaking he was
certainly no novice at chess, and hi'
Soon had the fair maid hopelessly
beaten.
"Ah!" he exclaimed as he pm her in
a hopeless corner. "You're in a tight
corner now. Miss Mabel."
She looked at him with those beaut1
ful eyes of hers and then said:
"I hadn't noticed any compression.
George. Have 1 no escape?"
"None whatever." said the guileless
George. "I shall mate you next move."
"Oh. George!" said she. with a be?
coming blush. "Er?hadn't you better
ask father firstV"
They are married now. and George
often wonders if she is as dense at
chess as she would make him believe.
Lincoln With His Children.
It was a frequent custom of Lincoln,
this of carrying his children on his
shoulder. He rarely went down street
that he did not have one of his young
cr boys mounted on his shoulder, while
another hung to the tail of his long
coat. The antics of the boys with
their father and the species of tyranny
they exercised over him are still sub?
jects of talk in Springfield. Mr. Ro?
land DIUsr, who was a neighbor of
Mr. Lincoln, told one of the best of
the stories. lie was called to the dooi
one day by hearing a ;;reat noise of
children crying, and there was Mr.
Lincoln striding by with the boys, both
of whom were wailing aloud. "Why.
Mr. Lincoln, what's the matter with
the boys?" he asked.
"Just wheat's the matter with the
whole world," Lincoln replied. "I've
%ot three walnuts and each wants
two." ? From Tarbell'l "Life of Lin?
coln."
Paying For Extras.
In one of the luxurious golf club
houses in the south of England a visi
tor approached the steward and asked
for a luncheon ticket
"Five shillings." said the official.
"That's rather a lot, isn't it?" inquir?
ed the visitor.
"A lot? Think of the cost of this
club. See those pictures? They're
worth thousands of pounds. And those
tapestries? Their value Is simply
euonnous."
On the following day the visitor
again asked for a luncheon ticket and
tendered half a crown.
"I've already told you, sir," said the
steward, "that the charge Is five shil?
lings."
"Yes, I know," was the reply, "but I
only want half a crown's worth today.
I saw the pictures and the tapestries
yesterday."?World of Golf.
Dynamite.
The action of dyuamite is compara?
tively precise. The tiring point is 180
degrees C. At that temperature It
either burnt, or explodes. If free from
all pressure, jar, vibration or force of
any kind it merely burns. That is
how it comes about that one can burn
dynamite safely in the hand if all
conditions be wholly favorable. But
any least vibration from such requi?
site! w ill cause an explosion, which is
an excellent reason for avoiding too
intimate ventures with the compound.
When ignited in small quantities in
the open air dynamite docs nothing
more startling than to burn fiercely.
When, however, larger quantities are
ignited explosion almost invariably re?
sults, as the temperature is raised by
the flames.?Chicago Record-Herald.
Old Time Carving.
An ancient book on carving says j
that the only meat! that were "carv?
ed" were mutton and beef. You had
to "break a deer, rear a goose, lift a J
swan, sauce a capon, spoil a hen. J
frush a chicken, unbrace a mallard. ,
unlace a cony, dismount a heron, dis?
play a crane, disfigure a peacock, un?
join! a bittern, untack a curlew, alaye
a pheasant, wing a partridge or a
quail, mince a plover, thigh a pigeon
or any other small bird and border a
game pie."
Fascination of Golf.
"I've 'card of Nero a-playing on 'is
fiddle, sir, when 'is 'ome was a-burn
Ing." said the landlady, putting down
the local paper, "but this 'ere game of
golf must be the most faskinating
'obby in the world. I've been reading
about the tilt* up at the golf ground
last Friday, and it says, 'Tin? lire bri?
gade-; promptly responded to the call,
and when darkness closed in they were
still playing upon tin' ruins of the
clubhouse.' "?Golf illustrated.
Fooled Him.
"Why am I like a pin?" asked Mr.
Jones triumphantly of his wife. 11?.
expected she \>as going to say. "Be?
cause you are so sharp." and he was
?Imply paralysed w hen she replied:
"Be* ause if you should gel lost it
wouldn't be Worth while to spend
time look lug for y on."
Y(:. hi ) Wst Good.
"Wore you a go id boy in school to
day?"
"I think so. dad. Anyway, teacher
called me a holy terror." Buffalo Ex?
press.
Liv^d on W.-ucr.
Tin? Tramp 1 once lived on water,
lady, for vi\ mouths. The Lady y??n
don't look 111 it. How did you man
age it V 'i he ran |i I was a sailor.
To have failed Is lo have striven: to
have striven is lo have grown. Mai*
hie I? BnbeoH
Never let familiarity exclude re
jpoct.?J. Vanbrugh.
'^atasaessSgegeaVgeaVgSaYBB
Little Pitchers.
Tn n certain small town there art
two young women whose favorite oc?
cupation lias been to discuss the af?
fairs of tbeli neighbors. Having met
for that purpose one afternoon, tbej
found themselves blocked in the In?
dulgence of their pastime hy the pros
ence of the small daughter of the
iiosiess a slight Indisposition of
some sort prevented sending the child ,
out of doors, so they were forced to
put up with her presence, doing their
best, however, to nullify it.
Something eatable was produced atid
an absorbing new game invented
which she could play quite by herself,
so they breathed freely and began.
The talk at length reached a point
involving the latest scandal of the
neighborhood and the retailing of
some Inside information which must
not become public property. A hurried
look at the child on the floor found
her apparently so occupied with her
game that It seemed quite safe to go
on If one observed a decent discretion
Voices were accordingly lowered and
direct allusion veiled, but when the
matter had been thrashed out to their
satisfaction the child raised her eyes
and remarked with deliberation and
emphasis:
"I hear. T know. I understand, and
1*11 btab!"?New York Times.
Books and Their Csre.
Books on shelves may be seriously
injured if packed too tightly. When
quickly pulled out for use the top of
the book Is likely to come off. More?
over, the constant pressure, if too
great, will loosen the whole back In
time and the friction in putting upon
and taking from the shelf mars the
covers. On the other hand, a reason?
able amount of lateral pressure is
necessary. If placed on the shelves
too loosely the leaves tend to open
and admit dust, dampness and conse
quent mildew. In the case of heavy
volumes the weight of the leaves will
be found resting on the shelves If the
books are placed too loosely. This is
likely to make the backs concave.
Badly painted shelves are another
source of injury to books. Care should
be taken when paint or varnish Is used
that the surface Is perfectly smooth,
hard and dry when the books are put
In place and that the surface will re?
main so during variation of tempera?
ture or humidity.?House Beautiful.
An Anecdote of Pope.
There is an old anecdote of Alexan?
der Tope concerning one of the old
watermen who were employed for
many years In rowing Pope on the
Thames. Pope wus in the habit of
having his sedan chair lifted into the
punt If the weather was fine he let
down the glasses; If cold he pulled
them up. He would sometimes say to
the waterman:
"John. I am going to repeat some
verses. Take care to remember them
the oext time I go out."
When that time came Pope would
say:
"John, where are the verses I told
you of?"
"I have forgotten them, sir"
"John, you are n blockhead. I must
write them down for you."
John said that no one thought of
saying when speaking of him. "Mr.
Pope." but ihat he was always called
"Mr. Alexander."
The Original Eneyciopedia.
The tlrst real encyclopedia was
Pliny's "Natural History." This work
was an extensive oue. numbering some i
thirty-seven volumes and dealing with
all the then known facts of the world
Pliny, who died A. IK 7!>. collected tin
data for his work in his leisure inter
vals while engaged In public affairs
The "Natural History" was for its time
an amazing production, treated of some
20,000 facts and was of very high au?
thority throughout the entire middle
ages. Forty three editions of the work
were printed before the year lf?tt. and
no scholar's library was considered
complete without it.?New York Amer?
ican.
Wakeful Night.
A rather imaginative Washington
lady decided she had insomnia. She
couldn't sleep, she said. One mom
lug she was more than usually dc
pressed
??What's the matter, dear?" asked
the husband. "Another sleepless
night V"
"Worse than that." she replied
gloomily. "1 did manage to drop off
to sleep, rind I dreamed all the time 1
was asleep tint 1 was awake ." ? Phil?
adelphia Saturday Kvenlug Post.
Made the Rhyme.
"Carpet" rhymes with no Single
word, but some bold poet dared to
evade the difficulty thus:
"Sweet maid of the inn. 'tis surely
no sin to toast such a beautiful bar
pet; believe me. my dear, your feet
would appear at home on a nobleman's
carpet."- London Answers.
Cynical.
"The course of true love doesn't al?
ways run smooth." sighed the young
Widow.
"That's right," rejoined the old bach
elor. ??Sometimes it ei ds In mar?
riage " Chicago Sews.
Many Meanings.
Traveler-Some expressions in the
Chinese language have as many as
forty different mennlnga
Little Miss sann- way In English.
"You amaze me Mention one."
"Not at h ?me."
The beloved of the Almighty are th*
rich who have the humility of the poor
and the poop who have the magnanim?
ity of the rich.?Sr.adl.
We talk little if we do not talk
shout ourselves.?Hazlltt.
Know the Stars Ir the Dragon?
Winding In nod <>ut batwses the
?tars ol the Great and Little Dipper
Is the consteilatlutt of the Dragon.
The tip of the tail lies between the
pole star In the Little Dipper and the
pointers In the Great Dipper, but
DUCh B?Per the latter and only a few
degrees, below the pointers, The rest
of the constellation, outlined with
faint stars, curves downward and
around the Little Dipper, when with
a final coil It terminates with the two
bright stars (iamtna and Beta, which
mark the head of the Dragon, or. in
fact, its eyes. Aratus in describing
the constellations speaks of the Dragon
as "with eyes oblique retorted, that
askant cast gleaming tire."
Its leading star. Alpha, near the tail
of the Dragon and halfway between
Mizar (the middle star In the handle
of the Great Dipper) and the lowest
star in the bowl of the Little Dipper.
Is known by the name of Thuban.
Four thousand years ago It was the
pole star.?Mary Proctor in Chicago
Tribune.
Do*s Your Cat Cough?
Poor pussy! As if the Immemorial
charges against her of keeping us
awake o' nights and of eating canary
birds wheuever she gets the eh.?nee
were not enough, the doctors have just
discovered that for years she has been
responsible for the spread of diphthe?
ria. Dr. G. J. Awburn of Manches'er.
England, having traced an epidemic of
this disease in a suburb of that city
to a pet cat belonging to one of his
patients, has found, after much clever
Investigation, that all cats are pecul?
iarly susceptible to diphtheritic affec?
tions of the throat. He has therefore
recently been warning alt families
who own cats to watch them carefully
and if they develop coughs to forbid
their being hugged and petted. Dr.
Awburn further recommends that If
the cough persists and the cat begins
to grow thin to have th? animal de?
stroyed at once. The only really safe
way, he says, Is to let the first wheeze
be pussy's death warrant?New York
World.
Left to a Worse Fate.
The business man was sitting in bis
office thinking of starting for home
when a suspicious looking person
came in with a leather bag In his
hand.
"If you don't give me ?5," said the
visitor, coming at once to the point
"I will drop this on th* floor."
The business man was cool "What
Is in Itr he asked.
"Dynamite," was the brief reply.
"What will it do if you drop it?"
"Blow you up!"
"Drop It!" was the Instant com?
mand. "My wife told me when I left
home this morning to be sure to send
up a bag of flour, and 1 forgot It i
guess it will take just abour, as much
dynamite us you have there to p^pare
me for the blowing up I'll get wtu-u
she sees me!"
"I'm a married man myself," said
the dynamiter and quietly slipped out
?Illustrated Bits.
Shied at the Price.
A noted painter said at the Art club
In Philadelphia, apropos of picture
prices:
"1 am glad there are not many buy?
ers like an old farmer in Center Bridge.
A very distinguished etcher, sketching
in Center Bridge, made a study of the
farmer's bam. The farmer happened
to appear and said he'd like to have
the sketch.
" ?Bf 'tain t too dear.* he added cau?
tiously.
" *Oh,' said the etcher, who makes
$12.000 a year, *1 won't charge you
anything for the sketch, but'?
"Iiis eye lighted on the pigpen.
" 'But I'll tell you what. You can
give me one of those nice little pink
sucking pigs there.'
"'Why. man.' said the farmer with
a frown. Mo ye know what them pigs
is worth? They're worth a dollar
apiece' "?Exchange.
Strong on Length.
Richard Carte engaged as cook a
Swedish giantess who proved unsatis?
factory Ob departure she asked for
a written testimonial, and Dr. Carle
presented her with the following:
"To whom it may concern: 1 have
lately had in my employ Hulda Swau
8on. who was engaged to cook for a
family of three and do such other
things as wont be possible when not
COOklng. I nder this head might come
a little dusting and dishwashing and
Answering the doorbell. Taking ail
these things into account. I wish to
say that Hulda Is absolutely the tallest
cook I ever saw "-Success Magazine.
The Poet Again.
lie had lOttg hair and a pensive look.
He wrote a poem entitled "Why Do 1
Live?" He signed it Augustus and
sent it to a ma : t/.ine
The editor wrote hiss as follows:
"My de.::- Augustus, the reason why
you live Is because you sent the poem
by maii Instead I bringing It person?
ally."-Paris Modes
a\ Hj rsh Order.
On the beach near an English town
s sign benrin 1 ? rend was nailed
to a post ?
"\ ?" n ? ? ii. ? beyond
this point will lie d "owued By order
of the iiingtrftm te "
A Ge*t Help.
Scribbler- i understand your wife is
of great value to yon In your work: I
had no idea she was literary. S. raw lor
?She Isn't, bill she never attempts to
straighten out my desk.?Philadelphia
Record.
A bad man Is worse when he pr?
tends to be a saint - Bacon.
All art Is In Its origin connected
with religion.?Ulrlcl.